~Whining Within~
It's official. My sleep schedule is fucked up. It is 4:30 in the fucking morning, and I'm only beginning to feel drowsy.
Little spider rappelled from my ceiling today. Caught it in a Ziploc bag, watched it for a while. It was kinda cool. Set the bag down to go get a drink. Came back, spider was gone.
There's a spider loose in my bedroom.
Less cool.
Lots of ups and downs as of late, mostly in my own mind. At the moment, it's an acute feeling of loneliness. Like my heart is being pried from my chest cavity with a cold metal spoon. I am Irony's bitch, apparently - friends often ask me what to do in their dating situations, and I give them the best advice I can. Don't follow my own advice, though. Damn it all.
Mental image keeps recurring: Me, standing under a lightpole. I've got my black down coat and a scarf. Probably gloves, as well. It's pitch black, save for the cone of light cast down from the streetlight. It's snowing. Massive, wet flakes of glorious snow. I fucking love snow, but at this moment I can't find it within myself to muster up a smile. Can't do it. The snow doesn't help. It's painfully quiet under my snowy cone of light. Quiet, and lonely. Hella. Fucking. Lonely.
AND NOW THAT THAT IS DONE.
I need to start writing again. Seriously. Or get out more. Too much time alone means too much time to think about everything that's wrong with life. And I don't like that. Noooo, sir.
Must be getting late. I'm starting to ramble.
I'm going to get a cat. Soon. Don't even care. I need something to care for, something I can call my own. Because even single, both my roommates have cats. So they both aren't totally alone. Why the hell can't I have a cat, too? Do want. Do. Want.
And I love my roomies to death, but one of them have been pissing me off rather grandly as of late. Not sure why. I just get... hostile. Snarky. Snappy. And I don't like it. Blah. I miss having Sharon to talk to. Can't wait for the semester to start, just so I can start visits with her again. x_x
...Yeah, should probably get to bed sometime soon. Yeah. I'll get right on that.
Little spider rappelled from my ceiling today. Caught it in a Ziploc bag, watched it for a while. It was kinda cool. Set the bag down to go get a drink. Came back, spider was gone.
There's a spider loose in my bedroom.
Less cool.
Lots of ups and downs as of late, mostly in my own mind. At the moment, it's an acute feeling of loneliness. Like my heart is being pried from my chest cavity with a cold metal spoon. I am Irony's bitch, apparently - friends often ask me what to do in their dating situations, and I give them the best advice I can. Don't follow my own advice, though. Damn it all.
Mental image keeps recurring: Me, standing under a lightpole. I've got my black down coat and a scarf. Probably gloves, as well. It's pitch black, save for the cone of light cast down from the streetlight. It's snowing. Massive, wet flakes of glorious snow. I fucking love snow, but at this moment I can't find it within myself to muster up a smile. Can't do it. The snow doesn't help. It's painfully quiet under my snowy cone of light. Quiet, and lonely. Hella. Fucking. Lonely.
AND NOW THAT THAT IS DONE.
I need to start writing again. Seriously. Or get out more. Too much time alone means too much time to think about everything that's wrong with life. And I don't like that. Noooo, sir.
Must be getting late. I'm starting to ramble.
I'm going to get a cat. Soon. Don't even care. I need something to care for, something I can call my own. Because even single, both my roommates have cats. So they both aren't totally alone. Why the hell can't I have a cat, too? Do want. Do. Want.
And I love my roomies to death, but one of them have been pissing me off rather grandly as of late. Not sure why. I just get... hostile. Snarky. Snappy. And I don't like it. Blah. I miss having Sharon to talk to. Can't wait for the semester to start, just so I can start visits with her again. x_x
...Yeah, should probably get to bed sometime soon. Yeah. I'll get right on that.