Fic: 'I love you' is a thing you say to people who are dying (4/16); hard R

[quinara]

[start of fic and notes]

'I love you' is a thing you say to people who are dying
by Quinara

Season 7. Buffy/Spike. Some Watchers survived, because sometimes people do.

[free association III]

Comments

[rahirah]

Reading your fic is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, and I mean that in the best way. You have to hunt up all the edge pieces, and all these blueish-green ones that look alike, are they water or sky? And what the hell is that one? And then suddenly you manage to fit that clump together with the other clump, and OMG IT'S A BARN! and you feel so accomplished.

It's always so hard for your Buffy and Spike, so elliptical and guarded, that when they get a hard-won moment of connection it feels like everything.

[quinara]

:D Cheers!!! All I can say is that when this was chronological, it was really, really boring... And that barns are awesome!!! I can't promise that everything is entirely straightforward from chapter six onwards, but things are slightly more in order. And there is also a certain amount of connecting... I think ultimately I really enjoy the challenge of making Spuffy fic that could always slip back into canon, even when it goes AU - so Spuffy never quite stop failing to communicate with one another, but they pretty much hold on by the skin of their teeth. Or I just like dragging things out.

[brutti_ma_buoni]

Finally having a chance to catch up with this (though I'm pausing now for breath and sleep). You're painting a fascinating picture here - Barb's jigsaw is very true to my reading experience too. Near-canon, canon but not in canon order, and then very not-canon, all mingling with the characterisation of s7 in quite fascinating ways. These Watchers who lived are already richer characters than we knew, and the circling of Spike and Buffy is unfamiliar, unpredictable, though still so much true to character.

[quinara]

Yay! Although the real action is all in the next part, of course. :P So glad you're enjoying it. If this was an (even) longer fic, the Watchers would definitely get all manners of looks in, because I do like them. There's still quite a bit, but one of the original ideas for this story was to have a Quentin Travers redemption story, which this isn't quite. But c'est la vie!

[shapinglight]

I can't wait to see how the dragon fits in.

[quinara]

Hahahahaa!!! The dragon is very important (although doesn't get as much screentime as you might expect...).

[the_moonmoth]

“There’s a dragon who lives in the back of the Bronze,” Spike continued absently. “Holiest motherfucker in the country, by the tell of it. Who d’you think hoards all the decent beer in that place?”

Whaaaaat? Omg brilliant! And how much do I love what's going on in the background during this conversation, the nonchalant reaching for intimacy. Lovely.

He had that look he got sometimes, like he was exasperated and she was ridiculous, but also as though he wanted so badly to believe in what she was saying.

I can picture it vividly

Buffy looked at him for a long moment. The silence was gorgeous, somehow, and Spike wasn’t sure how he could ever…

Unf. Words. Love.

[quinara]

:D I'm not entirely sure why this dragon in the Bronze was so necessary, but it was one of those ideas that suddenly had to happen. Especially the part about the beer.

So glad you're enjoying this. The Spuffy have such good times in the basement... Thank you for commenting so diligently!!!!

[thisficklemob]

Skipping ahead to say a) I love that there's a dragon living in the Bronze, and Spike just absently lets this slip while getting dreamy-eyed, as if Buffy isn't going to do something about it, and b) I don't care why, but the dragon bogarting all the good beer (and being called "the holiest motherfucker in the country") makes me unreasonably happy.

[quinara]

:D Yay, I'm so glad!! Thank you (indeed, thank you for all your lovely comments, which I have been so slow in replying to). Dreamy-eyed Spike is a danger to himself and others, obviously. Dragons love to hoard, of course, so the question was really what you hoard in the Bronze...