Eurovision Semifinals 2!
12 - Georgia - Wailing monk, then FOUR SPACE HOOKERS. Oh god, the bad english. Fire pillars. GIANT DRUM. This is the greatest thing ever.
13 - Turkey - All the pyrotechnics, then traditional instruments and crazy winged dancers! Singer is a little whiny, but this is hilarious. A BOAT MADE OF THE COSTUMES.
07 - Ukraine - Crazy woman oversinging, CG dancers on panels. Dancing trumpet players. CG flashmob. THIS IS EUROVISION
02 - Macedonia, aka FormerYugoslavRepublicofGreeceisanAsshole - Crazy eyes don't make a show interesting. Singer going a bit operatic, despite not having the strength to do it and make it wow. SUDDENLY ROCK MUSIC. I actually kind of liked that.
11 - Sweden - WIND MACHINE - She's alone and crawling on the stage. She can sing, but she's mumbling. It's a catchy pop dance song. It's much better than last year's, at least. Oh, and random snow and a random backup dance. Still not crazy enough!
04 - Malta - HI 1990s DANCE SONG. The performance isn't spectacular, but they danced and shit, so that makes the stage show already the most interesting.
14 - Estonia - Well, on one hand this guy can sing. On the other, snoooooorrrrreeeee.
15 - Slovakia - EUROVISION HAIR METAL. It's a shame the singer keeps going off key. You're RUINING IT.
10 - Croatia - Um, preceded by an Azeri grocery store commercial for the "cultural interstitial." Starting boring, but I continue to be a sucker for strings. I actually liked that song, the stage production was WTF, but more because it was boring.
01 - Serbia - After that intro, I was expecting Bryan Adams or something. I actually like that song, though it wasn't particularly exciting, and the stage show wasn't fantastic.
18 - Lithuania - Come on, don't make me ashamed to be Lithuanian! Hmm...boring beginning, but he IS wearing a sequined blindfold. Then, DISCO~ Flipping, mediocre dancing in front of lots of FAKE TINY SHADOW DANCERS in the background.
08 - Bulgaria - Lonely Space Hooker on the stage alone. Song's got a beat, at least, but she's not that great of a singer. Spinning pyrotechnics, though!
06 - Portugal - Eh. Kinda boring, but she can sing.
05 - Belarus - Well, at least this can't be worse than last year's entry, right? WHAT ARE THESE MICROPHONE STANDS? Very generic rock, mediocre singing.
03 - The Netherlands - Lady, you are not Cher. Cher can kinda sing. I like the bluegrassy jug band, though. CONFLICTED. It's also weird because there's a lot of American-ness to the stage presentation.
17 - Bosnia & Herzegovina - Very boring ballad.
09 - Slovenia - Started too low for her register, so I predict high note wailing later. Blonde backup singer sucks, but the others are okay. Boring song, though. Bad ending.
16 - Norway - This would have been a lot better if the guy could sing. All right beat, that's about it.
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I'd say Bosnia and Norway getting through is probably the worst of the ones passing...and Georgia will be sorely missed in the finals.
Despite me being kinda meh on Lithuania, I suppose this move alone makes it deserving of being in the finals:
13 - Turkey - All the pyrotechnics, then traditional instruments and crazy winged dancers! Singer is a little whiny, but this is hilarious. A BOAT MADE OF THE COSTUMES.
07 - Ukraine - Crazy woman oversinging, CG dancers on panels. Dancing trumpet players. CG flashmob. THIS IS EUROVISION
02 - Macedonia, aka FormerYugoslavRepublicofGreeceisanAsshole - Crazy eyes don't make a show interesting. Singer going a bit operatic, despite not having the strength to do it and make it wow. SUDDENLY ROCK MUSIC. I actually kind of liked that.
11 - Sweden - WIND MACHINE - She's alone and crawling on the stage. She can sing, but she's mumbling. It's a catchy pop dance song. It's much better than last year's, at least. Oh, and random snow and a random backup dance. Still not crazy enough!
04 - Malta - HI 1990s DANCE SONG. The performance isn't spectacular, but they danced and shit, so that makes the stage show already the most interesting.
14 - Estonia - Well, on one hand this guy can sing. On the other, snoooooorrrrreeeee.
15 - Slovakia - EUROVISION HAIR METAL. It's a shame the singer keeps going off key. You're RUINING IT.
10 - Croatia - Um, preceded by an Azeri grocery store commercial for the "cultural interstitial." Starting boring, but I continue to be a sucker for strings. I actually liked that song, the stage production was WTF, but more because it was boring.
01 - Serbia - After that intro, I was expecting Bryan Adams or something. I actually like that song, though it wasn't particularly exciting, and the stage show wasn't fantastic.
18 - Lithuania - Come on, don't make me ashamed to be Lithuanian! Hmm...boring beginning, but he IS wearing a sequined blindfold. Then, DISCO~ Flipping, mediocre dancing in front of lots of FAKE TINY SHADOW DANCERS in the background.
08 - Bulgaria - Lonely Space Hooker on the stage alone. Song's got a beat, at least, but she's not that great of a singer. Spinning pyrotechnics, though!
06 - Portugal - Eh. Kinda boring, but she can sing.
05 - Belarus - Well, at least this can't be worse than last year's entry, right? WHAT ARE THESE MICROPHONE STANDS? Very generic rock, mediocre singing.
03 - The Netherlands - Lady, you are not Cher. Cher can kinda sing. I like the bluegrassy jug band, though. CONFLICTED. It's also weird because there's a lot of American-ness to the stage presentation.
17 - Bosnia & Herzegovina - Very boring ballad.
09 - Slovenia - Started too low for her register, so I predict high note wailing later. Blonde backup singer sucks, but the others are okay. Boring song, though. Bad ending.
16 - Norway - This would have been a lot better if the guy could sing. All right beat, that's about it.
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I'd say Bosnia and Norway getting through is probably the worst of the ones passing...and Georgia will be sorely missed in the finals.
Despite me being kinda meh on Lithuania, I suppose this move alone makes it deserving of being in the finals: