Ashes & Apples (Yunho/Jaejoong)

[quirke]

Ashes & Apples
Yunho/Jaejoong

Rated R for mature themes. Concept based off the manga series White & Black.
There are different kinds of angels; the ones who belong to heaven, the ones who belong to hell, and the ones who give up their wings to fall in love.



ashes & apples
(part one)

So for you, that place is here
Don’t be afraid, don’t hesitate anymore, because I’ll protect you.
TVXQ; Love in the ice

The first time Jaejoong saw him he was a little boy, eyes wide and cheeks plump. He immediately loved him, drawing up grand plans to decorate the little boy’s bedroom with toys and books. Junki had watched in half-amusement as the little boy followed Jaejoong about and pawed at him as he would to a parent, and the way Jaejoong’s eyes lit up at him doing so.

“He’s so cute,” Jaejoong cooed, forgetting his usually cool exterior as he cuddled the toddler in his arms. “Oh, Junki, could I really keep him?”

Junki held back his laughter as the boy pressed his palms on Jaejoong’s cheeks and squished the man’s face, giggling as Jaejoong squeaked in protest. “Sure you can,” he said cheerfully. “At least until he wilts.”

Jaejoong threw Junki a warning look. “Not in front of the child,” he chide, holding the boy close.

“You know as well as I do that it’s inevitable, Jaejoong.” Junki had to raise an eyebrow when the boy planted a smoochy kiss on Jaejoong’s cheek, leaving the man blushing and giggling with the child.

“What’s his name?” Jaejoong asked, turning his gaze onto Junki briefly before his eyes went back fondly to the boy.

“Yunho,” Junki said, getting up from the couch. “And Jaejoong-ah.”

The pale-skinned man looked up, both him and Yunho looking at Junki with wide eyes.

“I advise you not to get too close.” A wry smile, and Junki was gone.

It was just like the Seraph to be completely cynical. Jaejoong forgot Junki’s words the moment he left, choosing instead to pay attention to the boy before him. “Yunho-ah,” Jaejoong said in a sing-song voice, unable to help the smile pulling across his lips. “I’m Jaejoong.”

Yunho blinked and let out a toothy grin. Jaejoong just about squealed and hugged the little boy again.

“You’ll be my partner,” he said happily. “Soon your wings will grow, and we’ll be able to take the skies together. What do you say?”

Yunho looked vaguely confused. Jaejoong laughed and held the boy close. He could smell the remnants of ashes in Yunho’s skin, but he didn’t mind. He loved the child with all his heart.

White angels took souls that were deserving to heaven, holding their hands until the gates of Eden appeared before them, bright and glorious. Black angels did the opposite - they dragged angry souls into the depths of hell and left them to burn for eternity. Before Yunho there was another black angel who resided with him. White angels like Jaejoong were few and far between, and when he awoke Heechul was holding him in his arms with an eyebrow raised. “Well, they didn’t tell me you were going to be this pretty,” were his first words. As it was, Heechul wilted into ashes a few months later, the black feathers coming to rest onto the wooden flooring before they faded into dust.

The Seraphs were the deliverers of angels, but they were also their takers. Junki had appeared as Jaejoong sat in the midst of feather and ash, half stunned. “White angels don’t grow up or grow old,” Junki explained as he moved to collect Heechul’s ashes. “You came the way you are, and this is the way you’ll remain. Black angels are not born to live - they live so that they will eventually die.” He paused. “Jaejoong-ah. There’s no need for sadness. Heechul served us well.”

But the sight of Heechul wilting away had burned into Jaejoong’s memory. That night Heechul had never looked more peaceful, and when Jaejoong moved forward to wipe the tears from the other angel’s face his feathers had started to fall from his wings, his shoulders hunched from the weight of wrongdoing souls. The sight was achingly beautiful and terribly painful at the same time.

Even with Heechul, time was a foreign concept to Jaejoong until Yunho came to live with him. When he was delivered to Heechul, the black angel had already taken form of an adult, all innocence lost from his bemused eyes. Age was never something that affected Jaejoong; he was eternally pristine, forever at the height of his beauty. And Jaejoong was truly exquisite. Junki had watched the guardians of heaven take the black of night and weave it into Jaejoong’s soft hair, and the red of apples into his cherry lips; then they had pressed the colour of ravens into his eyes, its depth from which they took from the ocean. His skin was made to be as pale as porcelain, and his face gracefully crafted. The first time he saw Jaejoong, Junki always said to the other Seraphs, the angel took his breath away.

With Yunho, however, time became a worrying factor. Jaejoong had never known a child to grow up so quickly. He had called for Junki, frightened at the state of which Yunho came in one night, his black wings expanding to new lengths and his body filling out his usually loose clothes. “Well,” Junki said with a glance at the black angel, gently tucked into bed by a frenzied Jaejoong, “there have been a lot of bad souls lately.”

Jaejoong made it a point to join Yunho as much as possible for these excursions, as he called them. The first time Yunho felt a prickling of a soul calling, he had looked up to Jaejoong with wide eyes. Jaejoong nodded and took his hand. “I’ll take you.”

Yunho’s small frame was not enough to toss the soul through the gates of hell, so Jaejoong was needed to pull the violent ghost into the depths where the fires burned forever. Yunho had looked exhausted after the outing, clinging onto Jaejoong as his little head pressed into the older man’s shoulder.

His black wings stretched behind him, languid and so dark the feathers almost seemed to disappear. Jaejoong watched as the wings curled into the boy’s back and faded into thin air.

“Jaejoong-ah.”

The angel looked up from his reading to find Yunho standing by the doorway. He had grown yet again, his frame that of a well-built ten year old. Jaejoong pushed his worries aside and instead smiled, head tilting slightly in question. “Can’t sleep?”

Yunho smiled sheepishly and stepped into the room. He was going to be so handsome, Jaejoong thought wistfully, as Yunho moved under the covers beside him, his nose buried in Jaejoong’s chest. Jaejoong chuckled, affectionately patting the other boy’s head. “What’s wrong?”

Yunho shook his head, eyes closed. “You smell like apples,” he mumbled. “I’m envious.”

No matter what they tried - and Jaejoong had bought a big variety of soaps - the scent of ashes remained in Yunho’s skin, a reminder of his visits to the hades. Jaejoong gently traced a finger down Yunho’s cheek. “I like the way you smell,” he protested lightly.

“No you don’t.” Yunho opened an eye, but the corner of his lips had curved up.

“Angels don’t lie.”

Yunho laughed, and they sat there for a long moment, Jaejoong’s book lying forgotten beside him. “Hyung,” Yunho said softly, “you’re really beautiful.”

Somehow the words made Jaejoong blush, his pale cheeks reddening as he blinked at the child lying on his lap. But Yunho’s gaze was steadfast, unmoving. Jaejoong smiled. “Thank you for the compliment.”

Yunho didn’t smile back; instead he continued to stare at Jaejoong. The expression was different from the usually grinning, mischievous Yunho, and Jaejoong felt a shift in the bottom of his stomach at the intensity of the other angel’s gaze. “Ah.” He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, trying to lighten what felt like tension between them. “Do you want to sleep beside me tonight? I’ll get Bambi for you. You can’t sleep without him.”

“No.” Yunho had reached out to pull Jaejoong down beside him. “Stay here.”

“But Bambi - “

The slow smile on Yunho’s lips made Jaejoong’s heart skip a beat. “Ah - okay,” he murmured at last. “Alright then. Go to sleep.”

“Goodnight, Jaejoong-ah.”

Jaejoong watched Yunho as he closed his eyes, his breathing slowing quietly. Already he could see the boy’s cheeks hollowing out, and the innocence in his youthful features seemed almost gone. He planted a kiss on Yunho’s forehead. “Don’t grow up so quickly,” he whispered.

Yunho frowned slightly, but didn’t respond.

That night Yunho felt the familiar tingling of his senses that forced him awake, alert and focused. Jaejoong was asleep beside him, but stirred when Yunho sat up on the bed. “Yunho?” he murmured.

“I got to go.”

“Hold on, I’ll go with you.” Jaejoong was moving out of the bed now, but Yunho pushed him down, expression bemused.

“Jaejoong-ah. You don’t have to go to these things with me anymore.”

A slow blink, then a puzzled frown marred the beauty of the white angel’s face. Even his frown is lovely, Yunho thought absently. “But I want to,” Jaejoong protested. “What if you can’t handle them?”

“I can.” Yunho could feel the strength in his wings grow by the day, even if Jaejoong refused to admit their wings were almost of the same size by now, never mind that Yunho looked ten years old. Not for long, he thought wryly. It was only a matter of time before he caught up to Jaejoong’s physique. “Don’t worry so much. If I need help, I’ll call for Junki.”

Jaejoong watched Yunho, biting his lower lip as his contemplated this. “I thought I told you not to grow up,” he said, and Yunho could feel the apprehension in his voice.

“But I want to grow up quickly,” Yunho said, keeping his tone light.

He left Jaejoong looking after his exit, confusion etched on his features. As Yunho felt the night chill through the feathers of his flight he could see Jaejoong’s smile before him and he thought there was nothing else in the world that he loved more.

The soul that night was roaring in his wrath as Yunho appeared before him, wings pushing forward to sweep the soul down on his knees. “We have to leave,” he said, gaze trained on the crouching figure. “Quickly.”

“No!” the man was in denial of his death, his screams shaking the air around Yunho. “Get the fuck away from me, you beast!”

The scene was a gruesome one; there was blood splattered all over the walls, a dead woman lying like a rag doll on the gravel, the soul's own body sprawled beside hers in what looked like a murder and suicide. It was not Yunho’s first time seeing a situation like this, and as sickening as it was he steeled himself and reached out to the soul before him.

“It will happen whether or not you want it to.”

“I won’t let you take me anywhere,” the man snarled. “You are but a child!”

Yunho smiled briefly. “After I take you, I won’t be one any longer.”

The dead man’s cries seemed to reverberate in Yunho’s ears even as he burned within the fiery pit. With every step he took Yunho could feel his body changing.

I have to grow up for Jaejoong.

It was a few days later that Jaejoong walked in on Yunho in his room, crouched on the ground in pain. “Yunho - “ Jaejoong rushed to his side, clutching to him. Heechul wilting flashed through his head, driving him into a brief moment of panic - before he realized that Yunho had straightened, inhaling deeply into the body of a teenager. Jaejoong watched him, stunned, as the other stood up to match his own height. The white angel found his fingertips on the new curve of Yunho’s face, lips parted in a mixture of fascination and sadness.

“I’ll ask Junki to stop assigning so much work to you,” he breathed, drawing the younger man in his arms. “Stop growing, Yunho.”

“But I want to.”

“Yunho. Please.” Ashes. Jaejoong took in his scent, eyes closed into Yunho’s gangly shoulder. “Please.”

Yunho’s eyes had lost the innocent spark that Jaejoong had adored, replaced with a sort of quiet strength. In comparison, Jaejoong felt almost childish, desperate. He probably was; Yunho had come to mean the world to him.

“I won’t leave you,” Yunho said with a gentle smile. “If that’s what you’re afraid of.”

Jaejoong didn’t move, didn’t respond; he simply stayed against Yunho, fingers curling tightly into the other man’s shirt.

“What’s heaven like?” Yunho asked a few weeks later, leaning against the kitchen counter as he watched Jaejoong prepare the ingredients for their lunch.

Jaejoong tilted his head and smiled. “I could bring you, if you’d like.”

Yunho raised an eyebrow. “Junki told me black angels weren’t allowed in.”

“Well, no. But you can see it from the outside.” Jaejoong’s grin was endearing, and his whole face seemed to light up at the topic. “It’s the most amazing place.” He closed his eyes, biting his lip as he recalled memories of heaven. “You’ll hear a thousand angels singing, and every single one of them is a sight to behold.” He opened an eye, quirking a smile. “You’d fit right in, Yunho.”

“I bet they’re all fair, like you,” Yunho mused, masking his amusement at the dreaminess of Jaejoong’s expression.

“Maybe,” Jaejoong teased. “They all look like Junki.”

They both shuddered involuntarily, before bursting in laughter. Junki was gorgeous, this they both knew - and yet the idea of a thousand Junki’s singing for the angelic choir was a scary thought indeed.

“I want to see your wings,” Yunho said after a moment, his eyes trained on Jaejoong’s back.

“Hnn, what for?” the reply was absent as Jaejoong now busied himself with the omelette, contemplating if he should make it a ham or mushroom. A thoughtful frown, then he threw in both.

“Come on, Jaejoong-ah…” he could always count on his pleading voice to get Jaejoong’s attention. The other angel glanced at him and scowled good-naturedly.

“Yunho-ah, that voice doesn’t suit you anymore, you know. You’re hardly the cute kid from last month.”

That earned a laugh out of Yunho. Jaejoong studied him briefly, a sort of distant smile across his features. Yunho was growing extraordinarily - and not just in terms of speed. He was, in Jaejoong’s eyes, gorgeous. Yunho lacked the delicacy of the white angels, but he held a rugged charm. His shoulders had broadened, and his face had sharpened of its childish curves, making him quite handsome to look at. His skin was the only thing about him that remained the same - tanned even in the winter. Yunho was resting his chin on his hand as he wiggled his eyebrows at Jaejoong, trying to hold back his laugh. “…You are totally checking me out.”

“What - no!” Jaejoong’s cheeks turned red as he scalded his finger on the saucepan. He bit back a yelp and turned back to Yunho indignantly. “I was not,” he protested again.

“Then why are the eggs burning?”

Jaejoong all but shrieked as he hurried to turn off the cooker and told Yunho to get out of his sight. Yunho stood up, laughing so hard that his stomach hurt. He headed over to where Jaejoong was standing beside the kitchen counter, mourning his lost omelette. “Jaejoong-ah,” he said, his expression turning serious, “Let me see your wings.”

Jaejoong paused. Yunho’s tone was more intent than he was used to, and he craned his neck to see the black angel’s odd expression.

He was standing too close.

“Please.” Yunho’s eyes reminded of the one time he looked at Jaejoong before they fell asleep; when he told Jaejoong he was beautiful. The mere memory made Jaejoong feel warm all over, and he glanced up at Yunho before blinking away.

“There’s… not enough space,” he managed to say. “For the wings.”

Yunho took a step back.

Jaejoong hadn’t been out as much as he’d like, and it worried him because it meant less souls were going to heaven. It also meant his wings were kept to a modest size; the white feathers brushed against his back as they spread out behind him, fluttering gently as they curled over his arms. Yunho was watching, a half-smile across his lips.

“There,” Jaejoong said, rather unnecessarily. His mouth felt dry for some reason. “You… still owe me for killing my omelette.”

Yunho moved forward so that he was standing before Jaejoong again, his fingertips brushing against the soft feathers. Jaejoong tilted his head up as Yunho’s own wings spread out behind him, the faint scent of ash once again invading his senses as the black feathers moved behind Yunho, absolutely glorious in its spread. “Yunho, it’s…” Jaejoong reached out to touch it. The feathers were coarse to touch, but the sight was beautiful on Yunho. “You never told me - “

The black wings curled forward, pressing softly against the white wings behind Jaejoong. It felt like a cocoon; suddenly there was absolutely nothing in Jaejoong’s eyes except Yunho. The scent of ashes and apples came together, filling Jaejoong’s senses. Their scent.

This was what it was like to stand close to Yunho. Why was it, Jaejoong thought as he closed his eyes, that it felt almost as euphoric as it did when he stood by the gates of a thousand angels?

“You were checking me out.” Yunho’s voice was low but there was a hint of mirth in his dark eyes as he met Jaejoong’s gaze.

“Was not.”

The wings curled again, and this time it felt like an embrace. “I’ll kiss you,” Yunho murmured with a smile that was almost coy, “if you don’t admit it.”

It was surreal, somehow, to be standing there with Yunho like this. Yunho, who a few months ago was as dear to Jaejoong as a sunny, talkative child. He looked up quickly at the other angel - mischievous, unpredictable Yunho - and for the first time since he was delivered to him Jaejoong didn’t know what he felt for him.

“You can’t do that,” he said finally. And he knew, without doubt, that a kiss - or even the thought of it - was forbidden to their natures; whether or not Yunho intended it to be a joke.

A wistful smile pulled at Yunho’s lips as he watched Jaejoong. “Which means you have to admit it.” His tone was light, and yet the intensity of his gaze didn’t let up even for a moment.

The brush of black feathers on white. The intimacy was strange and familiar at the same time; they had always held each other, touches of affection like the brush of his thumb on Jaejoong’s cheek, or the gentle running of his own fingers through Yunho’s hair, yet now the blood rushed to Jaejoong’s cheeks and stayed there. He had never felt more naked in his life. “I - I was checking you out,” he said at last, barely able to meet Yunho’s eyes. “But you’re still responsible for the omelette.”

Yunho chuckled. “Fair enough.” And then he had stepped away, taking with his wings the essence of ashes and apple. The warmth may have left his side, but as Jaejoong lifted his gaze to meet Yunho’s, Junki’s words from those many months ago came back to him in a rush.

I advise you not to get too close.

There was a saying that an angel only cries when he is losing his wings, feather by feather until it is as fine as the dust that float in and out of beams of sunlight. Jaejoong lay under the solitary ray as it peeked through the blinds and Junki stood by the side, eyes closed and smile as serene as the heavens. “He’s a big boy now, isn’t he?” were his first words.

“Please don’t give him so much to do,” Jaejoong said quietly, not lifting his head from the wooden flooring. Heechul had lay here as he disappeared.

“Too many sinners.” Junki’s tone was mellow, almost offhand.

“Make more angels.”

“You know the black angels are replaceable, Jaejoong. That is the reason they die.”

Jaejoong knew. Angels were supposed to be the vessels of God, to carry his name across to the people who loved Him, and yet at the moment as he watched the dust seem to still under the light, Jaejoong felt nothing within him but space and pain and Yunho.

“Keep God with you,” Junki murmured. “That is your purpose.”

“I don’t want him to die.” Jaejoong looked to Junki now, eyes betraying the panic he was feeling. “Junki. I don’t want him to die.”

Junki knelt down beside the angel, his own features ethereal in the dimness of the room. “And we don’t want to lose you, Jaejoong-ah,” he said softly. “Listen to yourself.”

Jaejoong was, and that was why he could hardly believe what he was saying. “What can I do for him, Junki?” he hated the desperation in his voice, the false hope within his chest that perhaps there was a way out. Junki was smiling, so beautiful and cold that he was almost painful to see.

“He will die,” he said, “and you will do him a favour by accepting that.”

The weight of sinners was unbearable; they were heavy with guilt and crimes, of suffering and torment that would never leave their beings even after death. It crushed Yunho’s shoulders and left him writhing in pain; as he grew so did the need for the strength to carry himself in the air. He had blossomed into a young man now, the awkward gangliness leaving his tall frame and leaving behind a grace that was missing from his teenage body. He found himself being called more and more often, and with each soul he burned the more the innocence seemed to leave him, forcing him to draw strength from someplace else. It was draining, and when he fell through the window that night Jaejoong was there to catch him, almost falling down with him onto the floor as he took Yunho in his arms.

“I’ll take you to heaven,” Jaejoong announced one morning, bursting into Yunho’s room and pulling the exhausted angel out of bed.

“What?” Yunho mumbled, trying to get back to sleep, but Jaejoong was persistent, and the two of them ended up at the gates of the local amusement park. There were too many things to see, and the sound of excited shrieks as the rollercoaster rolled past invaded Yunho’s consciousness, along with the jingles of the spinning carousel and little children laughing into their candy floss. Yunho raised an eyebrow at Jaejoong. “Where are the singing angels?”

Jaejoong laughed. “You don’t need singing angels if you have a rollercoaster. Trust me.”

So Yunho did, laughing as Jaejoong screamed all the way through their rollercoaster ride. They sat on the magical horses of the carousel and spun in tiny teacups, around and around until Yunho’s head was spinning too, though perhaps for a different reason when he looked at Jaejoong. The white angel bought him candy floss and gave him a pink beard, then dragged him into the photobooth to take a few shots of them with funny expressions. Jaejoong beamed when the photos came out and gave Yunho one of the two pictures. Yunho shook his head. “You should keep it.”

Jaejoong looked confused. “Why? Don’t you want it?”

Yunho started to protest, but the look in Jaejoong’s eyes made him accept the picture. The shy grin he was rewarded was worth it, he thought, warmth creeping into his cheeks.

They sat in the Ferris wheel together and admired the evening lights, and Yunho noticed that this time he was not the one who was tucked under Jaejoong’s arm, but the other way around. Jaejoong had chuckled at this.

“No longer my baby, I see,” he said, with a long-suffering sigh.

“I never wanted to be your baby,” Yunho retorted good-naturedly, and Jaejoong looked at him in surprise.

“I wanted to grow up,” Yunho continued, his fingers curling over Jaejoong’s wrist, “so that I could hold you the way you held me.” A pause. “That’s alright, isn’t it?”

Jaejoong’s shoulders were shaking, his hand clasped over his mouth. “What’s so funny?” the other angel demanded, somewhat embarrassed now by Jaejoong’s reaction.

Jaejoong finally regained his composure after a full minute, and the unabashed fondness in his pretty eyes took Yunho’s breath away.

Dear God, I’ll do anything for you to save him.

I love him.

The moment it was bound to happen, Jaejoong knew immediately. Yunho was seated in the bedroom, gazing out the window with a faraway expression. “Yunho,” he murmured, swallowing his fear, reaching out to touch the black angel’s bare skin. It was a chilly evening, but Yunho had forgone his shirt. The younger angel craned his neck and the curve of his lips stilled the breath in Jaejoong’s chest. “Yunho.”

The black angel pulled the other towards him, their noses brushing against each other’s. Jaejoong could feel the gentle breath against his lips, and then calloused fingers were tracing down his cheekbones, coming to rest against his bottom lip. He opened his eyes and met Yunho’s gaze.

The other’s eyes were filled with tears.

“No,” Jaejoong breathed, hands reaching out to press against the other’s warm cheek. “Yunho-ah. Stay with me.”

The shadow of Yunho’s wings had fallen upon them, and Jaejoong raised his head to see the feathers wilting, floating softly towards the floor. “No,” he repeated, reaching out to touch the feathers. It crumbled under his fingertips. “Yunho-ah,” he said again, gripping onto the other man so tightly that he was sure he would break him.

Yunho’s lips traced along Jaejoong’s jawline, his own hands holding Jaejoong close and still. “I’ll take you to heaven,” he whispered, a smile stretched on his lips even as the tears fell from his eyes and over Jaejoong’s fingers.

Their lips met, eyes falling close as hands slid over each other. Yunho tasted like the apples that he had picked for them that morning, Jaejoong thought, his own sob caught in his throat as their mouths melded together, moving with an intensity that he had never felt; it was electricity with every brush of skin, every moment of their deepening kiss. Yunho’s tongue sought for his, and he gave in, their warm breaths interchanging and becoming one and the other’s. “I love you.” Yunho’s kisses had moved from Jaejoong’s mouth to his cheeks, his eyelids, his jawline. “I loved you the moment I saw you.” The tears from his eyes were caught under Jaejoong’s palm as he held Yunho’s face to his.

“Don’t leave, Yunho-ah.” He was begging now, even as he knew it was no use.

Yunho’s wings were merely a fragment of its previous majesty now, and around them black feathers fluttered onto the wooden flooring, the sight absolutely enchanting in the evening light. “Jaejoong. Do you love me?” it was the first and only time Jaejoong heard that vulnerability in Yunho’s voice. In spite of his heart breaking inside of his chest he found it in him to smile.

“Silly, don’t you know? I always loved you.” From the moment little Yunho was in his arms, Jaejoong had never wanted to let go.

His smile was so beautiful.

Then Yunho was gone, ashes on the floor among feathers. Jaejoong couldn’t breathe. He gripped the ashes within his fingers and watched as what was left of Yunho slid away. “Yunho - “ his voice was breaking now. “Yunho - “

“Ashes to ashes,” came a quiet murmur. Jaejoong turned to see Junki standing there, his expression as hollow as it was when he came for Heechul. Jaejoong stumbled to his feet, the pain in his chest so great that he felt as though he would fall apart -

“Bring him back!” he was screaming, gasping for breath because Yunho was the only reason he could even breathe. Junki stepped forward, and Jaejoong gripped at Junki’s shirt front, his screams coming in bursts now from lack of air. “Junki - bring him back! I can’t - without him - “

“Don’t you cry.” Junki’s voice was steady, in spite of Jaejoong pulling at his front. “Jaejoong-ah. You will move on from - don’t you cry - oh, Jaejoong…”

The white feathers were wilting. Jaejoong was on the floor, tears falling onto his hands where Yunho’s own tears had been. Jaejoong didn’t know what crying was, but he couldn’t stop it - he was sobbing uncontrollably, looking up at Junki with the helplessness of a child without any idea what was happening. “Please, Junki-ah.” His tears fell as quickly as the feathers of his once beautiful wings, like snow into the sea of black. Yunho’s feathers. “I love him. I love Yunho.”

Junki was kneeling now, his fingers tilting the other’s face up as his own eyes mirrored Jaejoong’s pain. “You’re silly, you know that?” he said quietly. “What will heaven do without you?”

Jaejoong’s smile was amidst tears, and in the blue of the evening his beauty was even more captivating for Junki. “Yunho showed me heaven,” he said, his voice shaking. “And it’s not the heaven you know.”

The last of white feathers rested upon the floor.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Jaejoong stirred, the gentle light of morning pressing gently against his lidded eyes. For a moment he forgot where he was, and then with a start he sat up, Yunho’s name on his lips. He felt different, as if he had lost a leg or an arm -

His wings.

A soft gurgle caught his ear, and for a long moment Jaejoong stood frozen. He moved out of the bedroom, his bare feet padding along the floor until he spotted the child among a scattering of black feathers.

Yunho.

Jaejoong’s face crumpled as he picked up the giggling baby, holding him close in his arms and pressing a kiss onto his forehead. The baby looked inquisitively at Jaejoong before raising his fist playfully. Jaejoong felt his eyes fill with tears.

“Yunho-ah,” he whispered, smile shaking with the sobs trapped in his throat, “I’m Jaejoong.”

Possible continuation.