fic at a quarter to four! :D
Title: Marauder-ly Duties
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/James
Warnings: het, slash, RHPS reference...
Notes: For Laurel's Make Sure James Is Straight Challenge. I didn't realize how much I missed these guys! Hopefully more soon, I believe I have more ideas floating about...
"Y'know what we need, Moony?"
"Dare I ask?"
Sirius ignored him. "Strike that, it's not what we need--it's our duty! As Best Friends and Marauders!"
"Every word you say is making it worse, Sirius."
"The anticip…ation?"
"Who do you think you are, Tim Curry? No, the dread. What are you scheming?"
"I'm not scheming," Sirius pouted. "James needs our help!"
Remus pursed his lips. "Marrying that tart makes it look like he's trying to get away from us or something. Or have you forgotten?"
"That's why he needs our help! He doesn't know what he's doing!" Sirius crowed. "We need a…a bonanza...a fiesta--something!"
"Like a stag party?"
"Like a Make Sure James Is Really Straight Spectacular!"
"This is going to end in maiming. I can already tell."
"Don't be such a downer, Moony!"
Remus tried to shift the pressure off his knees in the underbrush--the moon was at the end of the week, and his joints were killing him. "Remind me why we're spying through James' bedroom window in the middle of the night?"
Sirius ignored him in favor of his Omnioculars. "Evans isn't sleeping here! He can't be straight!"
"Okay, now we know for sure that James is bent. Can I go back to my nice, warm bed now?"
"No! We have to be absolutely certain! C'mon!" Sirius darted toward the window faster than Remus could grab for the back of his shirt.
"How does us creeping in James' bedroom window make him straight? I thought you were throwing him some kind of party."
"That was metaphorical and definitely not the point, Moony! Now shut up while I break in--if I wanted constant commentary, I'd've brought Pete."
Remus rolled his eyes and walked away to Disapparate.
"There! Now, what were--dammit, Moony, I'm putting beetles in your socks again!"
Without Remus' questions, though, Sirius had to fight the urge to run a blow-by-blow account of climbing through James' window out loud.
Finally, all the charms were shoved aside, the window was open, and Sirius had magically boosted himself onto the sill before he stopped to consider his plan of action (there wasn't one yet).
After a minute, he shrugged, moved to vault onto James' bed, then put his sneaky boots on instead and crept under the covers.
"Mmm…you're warm…" James murmured, pressing back against Sirius briefly before trying to jerk away. "What the--"
Sirius pinned him down and silenced him before he could wake up the whole house. "Now don't throw a hissy, Prongs. It's for your own good, really! I have a plan!"
James raised an eyebrow, still glaring.
Sirius floundered a little, "See, I--well, it's just--I'll just show you!" And kissed him.
At first, James didn't move, then tentatively kissed him back. Sirius loosened his grip and let himself relax a little…and James promptly had him on his back on the floor, aiming Sirius' own wand at him.
"What was the score of the first Quidditch match we played together?"
"40-60-- I gave you a black eye with my broomstick and then we had to go in for dinner. It's me, Jamie, I'm not a fucking Death Eater, get off."
"Only after you tell me what you think you're doing and if you promise to get out of my house."
"I'm making sure you're making good choices! See, I care more about you than your own mother! How could I ever forgive myself if you and Evans ended up divorced because I didn't take the time to check and make sure she wasn't going to catch you shagging some bloke from the office in a couple of years?"
"What the hell, Sirius. I don't even want to know. Go home, before Lily catches you."
"Oh, she IS here! I'll just be off then, if you'll give me my wand back…" He smiled and Apparated to Remus' flat, where he promptly tripped over Remus' shoes in the dark.
He swore in a loud whisper and muttered "Lumos!" before stumbling into Remus' bedroom.
"Moony! Are you awake?"
"I am after all the racket you made. What do you want?"
"James is really marrying Lily. I mean he's really straight. I mean, I just thought you should know." A long pause, then quietly, "Can I stay here tonight?"
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/James
Warnings: het, slash, RHPS reference...
Notes: For Laurel's Make Sure James Is Straight Challenge. I didn't realize how much I missed these guys! Hopefully more soon, I believe I have more ideas floating about...
"Y'know what we need, Moony?"
"Dare I ask?"
Sirius ignored him. "Strike that, it's not what we need--it's our duty! As Best Friends and Marauders!"
"Every word you say is making it worse, Sirius."
"The anticip…ation?"
"Who do you think you are, Tim Curry? No, the dread. What are you scheming?"
"I'm not scheming," Sirius pouted. "James needs our help!"
Remus pursed his lips. "Marrying that tart makes it look like he's trying to get away from us or something. Or have you forgotten?"
"That's why he needs our help! He doesn't know what he's doing!" Sirius crowed. "We need a…a bonanza...a fiesta--something!"
"Like a stag party?"
"Like a Make Sure James Is Really Straight Spectacular!"
"This is going to end in maiming. I can already tell."
"Don't be such a downer, Moony!"
Remus tried to shift the pressure off his knees in the underbrush--the moon was at the end of the week, and his joints were killing him. "Remind me why we're spying through James' bedroom window in the middle of the night?"
Sirius ignored him in favor of his Omnioculars. "Evans isn't sleeping here! He can't be straight!"
"Okay, now we know for sure that James is bent. Can I go back to my nice, warm bed now?"
"No! We have to be absolutely certain! C'mon!" Sirius darted toward the window faster than Remus could grab for the back of his shirt.
"How does us creeping in James' bedroom window make him straight? I thought you were throwing him some kind of party."
"That was metaphorical and definitely not the point, Moony! Now shut up while I break in--if I wanted constant commentary, I'd've brought Pete."
Remus rolled his eyes and walked away to Disapparate.
"There! Now, what were--dammit, Moony, I'm putting beetles in your socks again!"
Without Remus' questions, though, Sirius had to fight the urge to run a blow-by-blow account of climbing through James' window out loud.
Finally, all the charms were shoved aside, the window was open, and Sirius had magically boosted himself onto the sill before he stopped to consider his plan of action (there wasn't one yet).
After a minute, he shrugged, moved to vault onto James' bed, then put his sneaky boots on instead and crept under the covers.
"Mmm…you're warm…" James murmured, pressing back against Sirius briefly before trying to jerk away. "What the--"
Sirius pinned him down and silenced him before he could wake up the whole house. "Now don't throw a hissy, Prongs. It's for your own good, really! I have a plan!"
James raised an eyebrow, still glaring.
Sirius floundered a little, "See, I--well, it's just--I'll just show you!" And kissed him.
At first, James didn't move, then tentatively kissed him back. Sirius loosened his grip and let himself relax a little…and James promptly had him on his back on the floor, aiming Sirius' own wand at him.
"What was the score of the first Quidditch match we played together?"
"40-60-- I gave you a black eye with my broomstick and then we had to go in for dinner. It's me, Jamie, I'm not a fucking Death Eater, get off."
"Only after you tell me what you think you're doing and if you promise to get out of my house."
"I'm making sure you're making good choices! See, I care more about you than your own mother! How could I ever forgive myself if you and Evans ended up divorced because I didn't take the time to check and make sure she wasn't going to catch you shagging some bloke from the office in a couple of years?"
"What the hell, Sirius. I don't even want to know. Go home, before Lily catches you."
"Oh, she IS here! I'll just be off then, if you'll give me my wand back…" He smiled and Apparated to Remus' flat, where he promptly tripped over Remus' shoes in the dark.
He swore in a loud whisper and muttered "Lumos!" before stumbling into Remus' bedroom.
"Moony! Are you awake?"
"I am after all the racket you made. What do you want?"
"James is really marrying Lily. I mean he's really straight. I mean, I just thought you should know." A long pause, then quietly, "Can I stay here tonight?"