Doctor Who, "Can't Forget You" Amy/Eleven, rated PG
Fandom: Doctor Who
Title: Can't Forget You
Author: Paynesgrey
Characters/Pairings: Eleventh Doctor, Amy Pond, River Song, slight Amy/Eleven
Rating: PG
Word Count: 507
Warnings: character death, suggestive themes
Notes: Takes place before "The Snowmen". Written for the "Random" one-shot theme at who_contest.
Summary: He can’t forget her; she plagues his mind randomly and unexpectedly and sends his senses through crippling grief.
His sweet Amelia Pond. He can’t forget her; she plagues his mind randomly and unexpectedly and sends his senses through crippling grief.
When he sees a crop of red hair in the crowd of strangers, he feels excited - for a moment, and then he remembers that his Amelia is lost in time, that this red hair can’t be hers. It’s cruel to be sure; he can never see her again, hear her laughter or feel the soft skin of her palm on his cheek.
“My raggedy man,” she’d say, a low and husky tone that stirred excitement within him, a sultry but wondrous feeling that makes him feel young again. She’s made him feel impossible, like he’d been born again just to whisk her away on adventures. His fabulous Amy Pond; she’s been his purpose for so long.
The sadness almost stamps out the happiness of knowing her sometimes, but the Doctor doesn’t let it win. It’s hard for him, to curb the anger and regret he weighs on himself. He thinks he fails her - like he does so many others in all his lives, but he was sure - so sure - Amy wasn’t going to be like the others. She deserves a good ending, he thinks, when he knows he never wants Amy to have an ending at all. He wants to hold her and keep her safe near him, but he knows his Amy will never stand for it.
A memory settles with him; the one time where she is resting over his lap reading a fashion magazine as they soak up the warm rays of a tropical planet. She’s wearing a red bikini that matches her hair, and the Doctor has to remind himself to busy the air with stories rather than stare at her, touch her, or allow himself the desires in which he feels unworthy.
But he’s content, and the memory lingers with him, and thinking of Amy Pond warms him as he wanders the cold and icy Victorian streets trying to make peace with his demons, to find some reprieve from the lingering sadness that is losing his Amy Pond.
Maybe he never will; Perhaps Amy will always be with him.
“She doesn’t have to leave you. It isn’t always goodbye,” the specter of River Song tells him. “No one has to leave you. We’re always here for you. I’m here for you.”
He knows, but it doesn’t make it all seem less intangible.
No, the Doctor must move on. “Goodbye, Raggedy Man,” he hears Amy whisper. There’s peace in her words.
“Not yet,” he says, as he clutches his grief, his memories, and his anger just a little longer.
“I won’t lose you yet.”
He can see River Song smiling sadly beside him. Silence fills the landscape as cold snow falls. He can feel his next chapter beginning, but Amy Pond is always there with him. It was the first face this body saw, and until this body’s last breath, she can never leave his hearts.
End
Title: Can't Forget You
Author: Paynesgrey
Characters/Pairings: Eleventh Doctor, Amy Pond, River Song, slight Amy/Eleven
Rating: PG
Word Count: 507
Warnings: character death, suggestive themes
Notes: Takes place before "The Snowmen". Written for the "Random" one-shot theme at who_contest.
Summary: He can’t forget her; she plagues his mind randomly and unexpectedly and sends his senses through crippling grief.
His sweet Amelia Pond. He can’t forget her; she plagues his mind randomly and unexpectedly and sends his senses through crippling grief.
When he sees a crop of red hair in the crowd of strangers, he feels excited - for a moment, and then he remembers that his Amelia is lost in time, that this red hair can’t be hers. It’s cruel to be sure; he can never see her again, hear her laughter or feel the soft skin of her palm on his cheek.
“My raggedy man,” she’d say, a low and husky tone that stirred excitement within him, a sultry but wondrous feeling that makes him feel young again. She’s made him feel impossible, like he’d been born again just to whisk her away on adventures. His fabulous Amy Pond; she’s been his purpose for so long.
The sadness almost stamps out the happiness of knowing her sometimes, but the Doctor doesn’t let it win. It’s hard for him, to curb the anger and regret he weighs on himself. He thinks he fails her - like he does so many others in all his lives, but he was sure - so sure - Amy wasn’t going to be like the others. She deserves a good ending, he thinks, when he knows he never wants Amy to have an ending at all. He wants to hold her and keep her safe near him, but he knows his Amy will never stand for it.
A memory settles with him; the one time where she is resting over his lap reading a fashion magazine as they soak up the warm rays of a tropical planet. She’s wearing a red bikini that matches her hair, and the Doctor has to remind himself to busy the air with stories rather than stare at her, touch her, or allow himself the desires in which he feels unworthy.
But he’s content, and the memory lingers with him, and thinking of Amy Pond warms him as he wanders the cold and icy Victorian streets trying to make peace with his demons, to find some reprieve from the lingering sadness that is losing his Amy Pond.
Maybe he never will; Perhaps Amy will always be with him.
“She doesn’t have to leave you. It isn’t always goodbye,” the specter of River Song tells him. “No one has to leave you. We’re always here for you. I’m here for you.”
He knows, but it doesn’t make it all seem less intangible.
No, the Doctor must move on. “Goodbye, Raggedy Man,” he hears Amy whisper. There’s peace in her words.
“Not yet,” he says, as he clutches his grief, his memories, and his anger just a little longer.
“I won’t lose you yet.”
He can see River Song smiling sadly beside him. Silence fills the landscape as cold snow falls. He can feel his next chapter beginning, but Amy Pond is always there with him. It was the first face this body saw, and until this body’s last breath, she can never leave his hearts.
End