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[quixotic_jade]

Last night I asked Chad if I turned out to eb the woman he thought he was getting when we first hooked up. He said there were pleasant surprises and disappointments. Disappointments because he didn't expect to talk down to him like he claims I do. But pleasantly surprised int hat I "make everything flow

Comments

[flintultrasparc]

Either because of our socialization, when a woman is trying to communicate in a supportive manner offering friendly advice as a way of talking through a problem, this comes off as insulting to a man as if he was incomptent and incapable of fixing a problem for himself. Also, there is a huge difference in male psyche between whether he "can" do something, or if he "could". "Could" is a request, "can" is a question of his comptentence. While a woman might want to talk through everything and when talking is actually looking for some reassurance and emotional support (but not necessarily a solution), a man may prefer to be alone to contemplate a problem.

Anxiety, while common, can really shrink your world. I could give you a lot of stock phrases you've already heard like "face your fear and it will disappear?", or "what do you need right now?". Group therapy with other people suffering through anxiety could also help.

[quixotic_jade]

Grr. How irritating is it that I end up re-reading what I've written when someone replies to my post, realizing how horrifying my typos and grammar errors are. Ha!

Men are from Mars and Women are from . . . yeah, I read that book too, lol. No, actually there's a vast amount of truth to what you say. Usually that's not where the talking down comes from, unfortunately. That would be much easier to fix. It's more like, if I'm not spurting rainbows from my ass, and it comes through in my persona, he takes it personally. And let's be honest, most of us do. It's hard not to take someone else's irritable mood personally. But I'm not even allowed to be exasperated about something without coming off as aggressive and condescending. It's hard being a raging cunt sometimes.

Group therapy. Interesting idea. Except for that whole social thing. Strange social situations make me anxious. ;)

[flintultrasparc]

Group therapy. Interesting idea. Except for that whole social thing. Strange social situations make me anxious.

Well, it would be a group of people who are ALSO anxious in social situations. So, it works. I know someone who it helped alot. Just being able to express what makes you anxious, and having some folks who know exactly how you feel could go a long way into helping you face that anxiety and conquering it.