Muramasa vs. Masamune
Yeah Yeah Yeah... I know what you're gonna say.
Save it. I'm not gonna listen. No. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, but fuck you too you motherfucking cavorteter of malfeasance... and... well... y'know....
Just post it....
You tired, Chris? Tired... worn out... full of some inescapably narcissistic desire to just cavort yourself, betraying any notion of self-respect here, over the internet's all seeing beedy little eyes... and flapping heads all full of lies. Yeah. Tired. Stop dwelling on this... type damn you. Yes, day goes as planned... slow as all is fucked in the muck with the luck of an imp named Puck who would chuck up the dead carcass of a cockroach that snuck up upon him, a cockroach, a cockroach of malfeasance no less, and mother of god, that fucker... well... stunk.
Some nice alliteration there.
Here we are now though. You and me and Mr. Livejournal here and its panywaist of innertly enthusiastic quasi-dating desires for constant update. Frankly, LJ, what have you been up to for the past 5 months now?
LJ: Oh, y'know, the usual. I mean, despite not having a real voice of my own and all I've still been an avid reader of anything I come across. I joined a few communities... brutal honesty (those whiney cocksuckers), chicago el (circulatory urban turmoil), and just now mrshowandtell... all about Mr. Show with Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, man, this is gotta be the shit, right?
Me: No, but seriously, come on, LJ... I mean you're in the prime of your life here. Your second birthday is coming up this month. You know how I pretty much fucked you over for the first, don't you like expect something better... something more interesting/enlightening maybe?
LJ: Well, If I remember correctly, you called me a "clanking cantankerous cocksucking cuntrag." And that hurt, to tell you the truth... that really hurt. I mean, yeah of course you're trying to make a cool reference to the days of yore where this was all first started, y'know, my birth and all. But shit man. That's like saying just because your father yelled out "Holy shit! What is that thing?" when you were born we're supposed to honor the memory by repeating the gesture there.
Me: Oh... well... yeah, I see your point, LJ, but I raise you the fact that, motherfucker, you don't really count as a person in my life. I mean, you provide no creature comfort, no empathetic hominid link of any sort, you're pretty much just another automation in my life for which to take advantage of. I mean... shit... have I ever even "met" you? Have you ever said, "Hey, Chris! How are you? How's the grandma in the home?" Which, of course, I'd have to reply with nothing more than a snarl and gnashing of teeth, but shit, tis the thought that counts. Sorry, LJ. I mean, didn't mean to spite you and all but I ain't got nothing to say to you anymore. What do you want from me, really?
LJ: Ah, right, this is where it starts. I'm now supposed to just go off on you and your life and how you've conducted yourself lately. Alcohol? ALCOHOL? C2H5OH? Motherfucker... I mean... of course I'm not gonna say shit. You live your life the way you want to. You've been a fucking legal adult for what.... 4 years? When exactly are you going to grow up, Chris?
Me: Jesus, LJ, dispense with the pleasantries why dontcha! Yeah yeah yeah... fuck. I know. I lika the sauce. In fact I've been drinking since like 7 now and only got off work at like 9:30. Come on, man, loosen the fuck up. How many other low wage blue colar subservient positions can one have an occasional drink on the job at? Seriously, I mean, I was watching this show Carnivalle on HBO the other day. This guy Jonesy... he's gotta brace on his leg due to some past incident with him and his baseball career and the mob and so forth.... he was sittin' there on this ferris wheel drinkin' a half-pint, fuckin' working, man. He was still working, I mean, who fucking does that? Yeah, give me the argument of "oh, they're carnie folks... and times have changed in the past 60-70 years or so... and who's to say he's a role model?" Who's to say he fuckin' isn't??! Come on, LJ, haven't I taught you anything? Haven't I brought you beyond the bounds the sanity and back into reality within just a daily post? Can't you just be happy for the fact that I've given some of the best posts livejournal's ever seen.... and they won't ever see, of course, cuz you guys couldn't give a shit, right?
LJ: You're drunk. And you're full of shit. Chris, you've written nothing to me in the past 3 years that I couldn't find, better worded even, in your typical AP english textbook... oooh, did I hit you where it hurts? Yeah... yeah... nothing if not challenged. You don't know the last fucking thing about being challenged. You go to work. You eat. You sleep. You play video games. You drink. You pass out. One of the above is your daily activities and you know this. So what... what now.... what is the nature of the monkey beast? Come on, Chris. You're not gonna give up on me, you know that. I mean, what else do have in your life that 's worthwhile enough to nurture and create? You got a girlfriend? You got a family to support? You got bills to pay? You don't got shit, and you know this. You feel like you are so fucking privaledged and undeserving of your fucking station in life.... I mean, yeah you barely make the base medium of tax deductible income.... you still live with your fucking parents.... you failed at everything you've ever taken a chance with... you don't really amount to much in your 20s and may as well just give up and start thinking about how to spend your 30s. Y'know... fuck you, you pathetic sack of shit. I say fuck you to you and I hope you never post in me again.
Me: Famous last words, asshat. Little do you know, I got me a fucking myspace account.
Wvooot... woot that.. yeah. Myspace. What a shit site, I mean, seriously it's like every other day it's down with some kind of odd e-ffliction of some sort. Not to say I'd know much about it anyway. In fact, if anyone wants to give me some myspace pointers like "it's really cool if you do this" or "you'll so get yourself some poontang if you do this"... but I'll still just settle for "hey, you should do this... it's what everyone else does." But even so, yeah, myspace and me, didn't think the twain should ever meet. What a day, oh what a day.
Perhaps it is. I can't really remember the last time I decided to fucking FORCE my hand into that whole "writing thing" desipite never yeilding any results of any substantial kind. But of course, you get what you give. You give nothing and you ain't gonna see shit. Yet this little monkey still thinks that he will eventually write a really well reicieved great novel, etc, all that. But he can't write it. He can't. He can't stand the fact that anything he could ever write would be unoriginal so he has to just subject himself to this livejournal thing. This network of lonely voices. This heedless aspect of the unheard masses. This uncivilized genius loci of primordial brilliance circumvental by banal fratboy cum tribadism desires, of course unrequited, but you gotta respect the purity of that desire.
Desire... yes, but from what I've tasted of that I would have to favor fire. For shits and giggles man, the burning of the goddamn passion? I mean, can you seriously think another element would describe it... y'know if you were to refer to some kind of quadrilateral discussion of the space time continuum.... well shit, fuck that whole Aristotlian thing where all matter should consist of earth, air, fire and/or water (which was more than likely just a manisfestation of another philospher.... Empedocles?) as if to say you could be limited to that base mindless kinetic shit. What the serious hell? It's insulting, really. I know those Greek bastards just wanted to define existence in a more user friendly forum, but seriously... I mean.... FOUR? Come on!
I'm gonna say 28. Ask me about these sometime. I might go to the trouble of getting LJ to explain them to you. But whatever, I think we were talking about desire here, which of course brings to mind another travesty from god knows how long ago... (Ben Stiller echoes in your head "DO IT!")
oh man, that post... the need, the serious need I had at that time to express some serious desires to the outside world... no, just to put it out into the open for me, just for me, to hell with the outside world I say.... not like I'd use the block or anything, but shit, like I care what LJ could think of my shit. I mean, what the hell is this? In the same vein of a breakfast nook I guess we could say this is a whiney nook... or perhaps a passive-aggressive nook.... maybe a nook and cranny of outrageous ego for which to swoon the very essence of the commonwealth with your own glorious words?
Nose... meet thumb.
Yes, that I did. I thumb my nose at thee... which would be another Shakespeare reference I would suppose... but to seriously speak here, I never read Romeo and Juliet and would also appreciate some feedback thereof...
You ask too much, Monkey. Myspace assistance? Romeo and Juliet quote trivia? What are ya gonna go the whole 13 yards with a question about which of the 4 elements most describes you?... fuck that... follow it up with the same question about the 28.... no no no... I don't ask too much. I don't ask anything. I just... well.... to tell you the truth... I don't know what I want.
Last post was "Phoenix Down" and well done for the 5 months prior. This one, in keeping with the Final Fantasy theme, is so much more succinct.
Previously titled: "Hi-Genji Cherry Blossom for the Dark Matter Bacchus PC among this Chocobo," which was wrong for all sorts of reasons, length being at least one... if I decide to change it once again I'll let you know.
End transmission