Secret Admirers - Answers
Have you ever had a secret admirer? Here's the answer sheet!
1. What I Want My Words to Do to You by Ladymage Samiko
2. The Wait by CeliaEquus
3. Correspondence by belle4life aka tamatersweet
4. The Secret Admirer by vanityfair00
5. A Wizard's Hierarchy of Needs by bookofmoonrevel
6. Noteworthy by cybrokat
7. Neither the Laurel Nor the Rose by missmiah
8. Letters on Aristotle or The Theory by evieeros
9. A Terrible Temptation by Friendlyquark aka barriequark
10. Her Secret Admirer by lilbitbord
Red Herring titles:
April Fool by CyanaWhite
Your Secret Love by ancientgirl
1. Once again, a letter arrived during lunch. It looked ordinary, save that the stupid owl dropped it right on his plate. Still, Snape performed every check he could think of before setting it aside to open later. He never noticed the amount of white powder that had transferred and dissolved into the curry.
He much regretted it later, when a variety of unlikely visions were parading themselves in front of his eyes and he uttered one of the most clichéd phrases known to man: "Ooh, look at all the pretty colours!" He regretted it even more when he heard it repeated to him dozens of times over the next week. And when he finally opened the letter to read:
Didn't think to look for Muggle poisons, did you?
ZS.
Now alerted to what, or rather whom, he was dealing with, Snape's efforts at retaliation improved. He and his mystery correspondent (he frothed at the mouth if you called her a 'secret admirer') traded hexes, potions, curses and jibes back and forth regularly. Much of his personal time was devoted to thinking up new ways to get her back. To his credit, Hermione's protections failed several times; she spent time speaking in Cat, blown up like a giant balloon (though without the lighter-than-air properties), and, much to her chagrin, brilliant blue with screaming orange hair. She had assumed he wouldn't repeat a trick.
All in all, the Owl Post was right pissed with both of them.
What I Want My Words to Do to You by Ladymage Samiko
2. He received the letter that morning, and gaped at its contents, written using a Dicta-quill.
Dear Severus,
You cannot know just how long I have loved you, nor how much I do, and always will. I suppose that you cannot love me back; but if you think you can ever love again after Lily Evans, please meet me outside the Sphere Theatre in Flerd Alley at seven tomorrow night. Tosca is playing at half past. I have two tickets-one for me, one for you. They will be waiting at the box office to be picked up on the night.
I know that you are a punctual man. If you are not there by seven, I will assume that you are not interested, and leave. I can understand your feelings if turns out to be the case.
You may still use the tickets if there is someone you would prefer to take. They are in your name.
Love,
Your long-time admirer.
"Well…" He trailed off.
The Wait by CeliaEquus
3. As the school year progressed, each week a new note would appear somewhere in the library. One was in her chair, another in a returned book, and another in her bag. Each one a different sentiment, each one sweeter than the last:
In thy face I see honor, truth and loyalty. - Shakespeare
When you do dance, I wish you
A wave o' th' sea, that you might ever do
Nothing but that - Shakespeare
I give away myself for you and dote upon the exchange - Shakespeare
He must have been reading Shakespeare during this time because all three quotes were from the renowned playwright. But the repetition didn’t matter; each one meant something.
She had wracked her brain, thinking about who in the world it could possibly be. She feared it was a student. She honestly didn’t know how she would handle the situation if that were the case. The logical conclusion was that it was another member of the staff. She had run through the list of all the staff members in the school. Flitwick was too old, Firenze was another species, Hagrid was a half giant, Slughorn, well, did she really need to say it, and Filch… she gave an involuntary shiver.
The only option that even made any sense was Severus Snape. Although the idea of him leaving her romantic little notes was almost laughable, she wouldn’t be completely opposed to the idea.
Correspondence by belle4life aka tamatersweet
4. Two days later she had a box of chocolates delivered to her with a similar note. They were her favorite, the kind of expensive chocolate she wished Ron would buy for her but he never did. Now that she was single, she let herself buy a box only once a year around Valentine's Day.
"If I let you have one, will you promise not to be allergic to it?" she asked Snape when he came out front to investigate.
"I do not pick and choose what I am allergic to, Granger. And I do not appreciate your attempt at sarcasm."
He watched closely as she eyed the different chocolates. With a specific charm of her own devising, she could tell what was in the middle of each one. She liked to save the Vanilla Crème wrapped in dark chocolate for last. Instead she chose a caramel and popped it in her mouth.
"Doeshat mean you don't wanch won?" she asked with her mouth full. The caramel made her teeth stick together.
"I didn't say that, did I?" He reached for a chocolate covered cherry. "Any ideas who your suitor might be?"
"I don't know," she lied. "There is a guy Harry set me up with a couple months ago. Maybe it's him."
"Did you go out with him?" Snape asked.
"Yes. It went alright I suppose. We owl'ed each other once or twice but then it tapered off into nothing." The whole affair had been so bland. Both of them had only agreed to it for Harry's sake.
"Not him," Snape declared. "It doesn't make sense after all this time. Perhaps one of our customers? Mr. Kemper always prefers to deal with you."
Hermione frowned. Mr. Kemper was a short overweight man with a red face and a blustering manner. "Dear Merlin I hope it's not Mr. Kemper. But really most of our customers prefer to deal with me rather than you, but that doesn't mean they're also sending me flowers and candy."
The Secret Admirer by vanityfair00
5. This is what I ask you to consider, if a man who avoids food and sleep, who can barely be bothered to bathe, is really an attractive relationship candidate. You must put aside your fascination with him and wonder about these most basic of questions.
I hope that you will carefully consider what I have to say. Obviously, since you do not know who I am, you need not reply. I want to make my case before I reveal myself to you. Until then, I remain...
Your Secret Admirer
Severus glanced over at Hermione, curious about the undivided attention she was giving a letter that she had received via owl over breakfast. Her expression vacillated between shock, anger, and sadness. At first he thought that maybe it was a billet-doux, for what else would capture a witch's attention so completely? Surely the girl had admirers who would try to woo her with the written word, didn't she? Who could it be?
He cursed himself internally for even considering caring about the source or contents of the letter. Why should he care? It's not like he was in any way a competitor for her affections. Nor did he want to be. So what if she was young, beautiful, driven, and intelligent? And so what if she had saved his life without ever asking for any repayment of the debt he owed her? He was too old and embittered to consider finding a companion, and he was too ugly to consider taking a lover. So bugger the letter. He had work to do that was far more important than interpreting the fact that Hermione had just attempted to covertly glance at him from behind the cloud of her horrid hair.
A Wizard's Hierarchy of Needs by bookofmoonrevel
6. Severus watched as Hermione bit into the semisweet chocolate. He had been watching her for some time and knew not only her favorite stress reducers, but also when she was in need of one. With the pile of paperwork on her desk, it was no wonder she was in need of a break.
He hadn’t really intended to follow her. In fact, he was a bit irritated to find that she worked so close to his own office at the Ministry. How was he supposed to identify Dark artifacts with her fanclub hanging around?
But surprisingly she was just as studious as himself. Often they would walk out together, being the last two employees on the floor to leave. Unlike most, she always seemed genuinely pleased to see him and interested in his day. It wasn’t long before he found work to keep himself busy until he saw her light flick off for the day.
That had begun months ago. Now he found he was completely enraptured by her, though he didn't even know if she considered him a friend. They never met outside work or even got lunch together. He didn't know if she was single, or interested in dating, or, most importantly, single and interested in dating a bloke like him.
Severus Snape and dating were not words commonly found together, even if you were Severus Snape and interested in doing the dating.
He couldn’t just blurt out and ask her-he wasn’t from her house-but maybe he could take a more subdued approach and let her answer the questions if she saw fit. And if she didn’t, well. He wouldn’t be the first man to be lonely.
Her hair was down today, and she was sipping the Early Grey. He noticed as soon as she left the kitchenette. Score two for Severus.
Noteworthy by cybrokat
7. He waved the letter in her direction. "What am I supposed to be looking for?"
Does she know?
Hermione took the parchment back and studied it once more. "Don't you think it's a bit ... out of character? For Draco?"
"Do you know him well enough that you would consider yourself an expert on what is in-character for him?" Severus asked.
"Well," Hermione began, looking slightly defensive. "I remember how he was in school -"
"That was a long time ago. You've changed since then. I've changed. Is it so far-fetched to think that Draco has as well?"
Her doubt seemed to be wavering. Severus pushed forward, pointing toward the parchment. "Perhaps the author of that letter is trying to tell you something that he has been unable to express until now."
"Do you really think so?"
"There's only one way to know for certain."
Hermione searched his expression for a moment, and Severus wondered what she was looking for. Whatever it was, she seemed to have found it, because the tension seemed to melt from her shoulders and her lips softened.
"You're right." She held the letter up between them. "The man who wrote this ... I'd be a fool not to see where this could lead, wouldn't I? You've given me much to think about, Severus. Thank you."
Hermione surprised him by leaning close and pressing an all-too-brief kiss against his cheek. Severus was stunned into momentary paralysis by the soft warmth of her lips against his skin, and by the time he was able to react, she was already disappearing down the corridor.
Neither the Laurel Nor the Rose by missmiah
8. “Well go on then, open it,” said Minerva. Hermione snapped the seal and unfolded the single piece of parchment.
Miss Hermione Granger,
I will not describe your eyes, teeth, or hair, nor praise your silky skin, but rather I would draw attention to the brightness of your mind. Regarding excellence, it is not enough merely to have knowledge. Once I thought you merely encyclopedic, my feelings have changed as I came to realize your desire to try to both have and use your knowledge.(4) Yet, not until now, when my desperation is reaching its peak, have I dared write you and make my admiration known. Please let me know if you receive this parchment; an owl will find ‘Granger’s Secret Admirer.’
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
Hermione stared at the letter. Barring some rather silly notes of the ‘check yes or no’ variety in primary school she’d never received a love letter. She handed it wordlessly to Minerva.
“Oh dear,” said Minerva, trying and failing to repress her smile. “It looks like someone your own age has written to you after all.”
“Hmm,” said Hermione. She was in a bit of a shock.
Minerva was perusing the letter once more. “What is this nonsense about using your knowledge, anyway?” she asked aloud.
“Descartes,” said Hermione absently.
“What?”
“He’s quoting someone, I’m sure of it.
Letters on Aristotle or The Theory by evieeros
9. Hermione had searched the library for a week trying to find a book of poetry that contained that passage but to no avail. She was frustrated and irritated. How was she to figure out the identity of her secret admirer without even the slightest hint?
When the next letter came she barely had it off of the owl’s leg before she had ripped it open.
The more of my poor heart you take
The larger grows my heart!
And, since some target I must show
For Cupid's cruel dart,
Oh, if mine own you deign to keep,
Then give me your sweet heart!
My heart to yours sounds but one cry:
If kisses fast could flee
By letter, then with your sweet lips
My letters read should be!
If kisses could be writ with ink,
If kisses fast could flee!
Hermione’s heart fluttered madly as she read the impassioned words.
A Terrible Temptation by Friendlyquark aka barriequark
10. Two hours later an owl swooped in and deposited a brown wrapped box on Hermione’s desk next to the roses. Of course, Draco was right there when Hermione started to rip off the wrapping.
Hermione’s eyes went wide when she revealed the gift. “Oh my, it’s a box of Belgium Chocolates.”
“Where is the card?” Draco asked looking at the box.
Hermione looked around and found it taped to the bottom on the box.
“My love, I hope you enjoy the chocolates. I know that they are your favorite. I look forward to seeing you tonight. That is if you do not stand me up. The name of the restaurant is on the back of the card. I made the reservations for eight o’clock. Until then, my love.”
“Good gods, Granger, you really did a number on this bloke.”
Hermione ignored her co-worker as she flipped over the card, her eyes widened in shock. “This is the most expensive restaurant in Paris!”
“Impressive, so what are you going to wear?”
“Wait, what weren’t you just telling me a few hours ago that this wasn’t a good idea?”
Her Secret Admirer by lilbitbord
1. What I Want My Words to Do to You by Ladymage Samiko
2. The Wait by CeliaEquus
3. Correspondence by belle4life aka tamatersweet
4. The Secret Admirer by vanityfair00
5. A Wizard's Hierarchy of Needs by bookofmoonrevel
6. Noteworthy by cybrokat
7. Neither the Laurel Nor the Rose by missmiah
8. Letters on Aristotle or The Theory by evieeros
9. A Terrible Temptation by Friendlyquark aka barriequark
10. Her Secret Admirer by lilbitbord
Red Herring titles:
April Fool by CyanaWhite
Your Secret Love by ancientgirl
1. Once again, a letter arrived during lunch. It looked ordinary, save that the stupid owl dropped it right on his plate. Still, Snape performed every check he could think of before setting it aside to open later. He never noticed the amount of white powder that had transferred and dissolved into the curry.
He much regretted it later, when a variety of unlikely visions were parading themselves in front of his eyes and he uttered one of the most clichéd phrases known to man: "Ooh, look at all the pretty colours!" He regretted it even more when he heard it repeated to him dozens of times over the next week. And when he finally opened the letter to read:
Didn't think to look for Muggle poisons, did you?
ZS.
Now alerted to what, or rather whom, he was dealing with, Snape's efforts at retaliation improved. He and his mystery correspondent (he frothed at the mouth if you called her a 'secret admirer') traded hexes, potions, curses and jibes back and forth regularly. Much of his personal time was devoted to thinking up new ways to get her back. To his credit, Hermione's protections failed several times; she spent time speaking in Cat, blown up like a giant balloon (though without the lighter-than-air properties), and, much to her chagrin, brilliant blue with screaming orange hair. She had assumed he wouldn't repeat a trick.
All in all, the Owl Post was right pissed with both of them.
What I Want My Words to Do to You by Ladymage Samiko
2. He received the letter that morning, and gaped at its contents, written using a Dicta-quill.
Dear Severus,
You cannot know just how long I have loved you, nor how much I do, and always will. I suppose that you cannot love me back; but if you think you can ever love again after Lily Evans, please meet me outside the Sphere Theatre in Flerd Alley at seven tomorrow night. Tosca is playing at half past. I have two tickets-one for me, one for you. They will be waiting at the box office to be picked up on the night.
I know that you are a punctual man. If you are not there by seven, I will assume that you are not interested, and leave. I can understand your feelings if turns out to be the case.
You may still use the tickets if there is someone you would prefer to take. They are in your name.
Love,
Your long-time admirer.
"Well…" He trailed off.
The Wait by CeliaEquus
3. As the school year progressed, each week a new note would appear somewhere in the library. One was in her chair, another in a returned book, and another in her bag. Each one a different sentiment, each one sweeter than the last:
In thy face I see honor, truth and loyalty. - Shakespeare
When you do dance, I wish you
A wave o' th' sea, that you might ever do
Nothing but that - Shakespeare
I give away myself for you and dote upon the exchange - Shakespeare
He must have been reading Shakespeare during this time because all three quotes were from the renowned playwright. But the repetition didn’t matter; each one meant something.
She had wracked her brain, thinking about who in the world it could possibly be. She feared it was a student. She honestly didn’t know how she would handle the situation if that were the case. The logical conclusion was that it was another member of the staff. She had run through the list of all the staff members in the school. Flitwick was too old, Firenze was another species, Hagrid was a half giant, Slughorn, well, did she really need to say it, and Filch… she gave an involuntary shiver.
The only option that even made any sense was Severus Snape. Although the idea of him leaving her romantic little notes was almost laughable, she wouldn’t be completely opposed to the idea.
Correspondence by belle4life aka tamatersweet
4. Two days later she had a box of chocolates delivered to her with a similar note. They were her favorite, the kind of expensive chocolate she wished Ron would buy for her but he never did. Now that she was single, she let herself buy a box only once a year around Valentine's Day.
"If I let you have one, will you promise not to be allergic to it?" she asked Snape when he came out front to investigate.
"I do not pick and choose what I am allergic to, Granger. And I do not appreciate your attempt at sarcasm."
He watched closely as she eyed the different chocolates. With a specific charm of her own devising, she could tell what was in the middle of each one. She liked to save the Vanilla Crème wrapped in dark chocolate for last. Instead she chose a caramel and popped it in her mouth.
"Doeshat mean you don't wanch won?" she asked with her mouth full. The caramel made her teeth stick together.
"I didn't say that, did I?" He reached for a chocolate covered cherry. "Any ideas who your suitor might be?"
"I don't know," she lied. "There is a guy Harry set me up with a couple months ago. Maybe it's him."
"Did you go out with him?" Snape asked.
"Yes. It went alright I suppose. We owl'ed each other once or twice but then it tapered off into nothing." The whole affair had been so bland. Both of them had only agreed to it for Harry's sake.
"Not him," Snape declared. "It doesn't make sense after all this time. Perhaps one of our customers? Mr. Kemper always prefers to deal with you."
Hermione frowned. Mr. Kemper was a short overweight man with a red face and a blustering manner. "Dear Merlin I hope it's not Mr. Kemper. But really most of our customers prefer to deal with me rather than you, but that doesn't mean they're also sending me flowers and candy."
The Secret Admirer by vanityfair00
5. This is what I ask you to consider, if a man who avoids food and sleep, who can barely be bothered to bathe, is really an attractive relationship candidate. You must put aside your fascination with him and wonder about these most basic of questions.
I hope that you will carefully consider what I have to say. Obviously, since you do not know who I am, you need not reply. I want to make my case before I reveal myself to you. Until then, I remain...
Your Secret Admirer
Severus glanced over at Hermione, curious about the undivided attention she was giving a letter that she had received via owl over breakfast. Her expression vacillated between shock, anger, and sadness. At first he thought that maybe it was a billet-doux, for what else would capture a witch's attention so completely? Surely the girl had admirers who would try to woo her with the written word, didn't she? Who could it be?
He cursed himself internally for even considering caring about the source or contents of the letter. Why should he care? It's not like he was in any way a competitor for her affections. Nor did he want to be. So what if she was young, beautiful, driven, and intelligent? And so what if she had saved his life without ever asking for any repayment of the debt he owed her? He was too old and embittered to consider finding a companion, and he was too ugly to consider taking a lover. So bugger the letter. He had work to do that was far more important than interpreting the fact that Hermione had just attempted to covertly glance at him from behind the cloud of her horrid hair.
A Wizard's Hierarchy of Needs by bookofmoonrevel
6. Severus watched as Hermione bit into the semisweet chocolate. He had been watching her for some time and knew not only her favorite stress reducers, but also when she was in need of one. With the pile of paperwork on her desk, it was no wonder she was in need of a break.
He hadn’t really intended to follow her. In fact, he was a bit irritated to find that she worked so close to his own office at the Ministry. How was he supposed to identify Dark artifacts with her fanclub hanging around?
But surprisingly she was just as studious as himself. Often they would walk out together, being the last two employees on the floor to leave. Unlike most, she always seemed genuinely pleased to see him and interested in his day. It wasn’t long before he found work to keep himself busy until he saw her light flick off for the day.
That had begun months ago. Now he found he was completely enraptured by her, though he didn't even know if she considered him a friend. They never met outside work or even got lunch together. He didn't know if she was single, or interested in dating, or, most importantly, single and interested in dating a bloke like him.
Severus Snape and dating were not words commonly found together, even if you were Severus Snape and interested in doing the dating.
He couldn’t just blurt out and ask her-he wasn’t from her house-but maybe he could take a more subdued approach and let her answer the questions if she saw fit. And if she didn’t, well. He wouldn’t be the first man to be lonely.
Her hair was down today, and she was sipping the Early Grey. He noticed as soon as she left the kitchenette. Score two for Severus.
Noteworthy by cybrokat
7. He waved the letter in her direction. "What am I supposed to be looking for?"
Does she know?
Hermione took the parchment back and studied it once more. "Don't you think it's a bit ... out of character? For Draco?"
"Do you know him well enough that you would consider yourself an expert on what is in-character for him?" Severus asked.
"Well," Hermione began, looking slightly defensive. "I remember how he was in school -"
"That was a long time ago. You've changed since then. I've changed. Is it so far-fetched to think that Draco has as well?"
Her doubt seemed to be wavering. Severus pushed forward, pointing toward the parchment. "Perhaps the author of that letter is trying to tell you something that he has been unable to express until now."
"Do you really think so?"
"There's only one way to know for certain."
Hermione searched his expression for a moment, and Severus wondered what she was looking for. Whatever it was, she seemed to have found it, because the tension seemed to melt from her shoulders and her lips softened.
"You're right." She held the letter up between them. "The man who wrote this ... I'd be a fool not to see where this could lead, wouldn't I? You've given me much to think about, Severus. Thank you."
Hermione surprised him by leaning close and pressing an all-too-brief kiss against his cheek. Severus was stunned into momentary paralysis by the soft warmth of her lips against his skin, and by the time he was able to react, she was already disappearing down the corridor.
Neither the Laurel Nor the Rose by missmiah
8. “Well go on then, open it,” said Minerva. Hermione snapped the seal and unfolded the single piece of parchment.
Miss Hermione Granger,
I will not describe your eyes, teeth, or hair, nor praise your silky skin, but rather I would draw attention to the brightness of your mind. Regarding excellence, it is not enough merely to have knowledge. Once I thought you merely encyclopedic, my feelings have changed as I came to realize your desire to try to both have and use your knowledge.(4) Yet, not until now, when my desperation is reaching its peak, have I dared write you and make my admiration known. Please let me know if you receive this parchment; an owl will find ‘Granger’s Secret Admirer.’
Yours truly,
Secret Admirer
Hermione stared at the letter. Barring some rather silly notes of the ‘check yes or no’ variety in primary school she’d never received a love letter. She handed it wordlessly to Minerva.
“Oh dear,” said Minerva, trying and failing to repress her smile. “It looks like someone your own age has written to you after all.”
“Hmm,” said Hermione. She was in a bit of a shock.
Minerva was perusing the letter once more. “What is this nonsense about using your knowledge, anyway?” she asked aloud.
“Descartes,” said Hermione absently.
“What?”
“He’s quoting someone, I’m sure of it.
Letters on Aristotle or The Theory by evieeros
9. Hermione had searched the library for a week trying to find a book of poetry that contained that passage but to no avail. She was frustrated and irritated. How was she to figure out the identity of her secret admirer without even the slightest hint?
When the next letter came she barely had it off of the owl’s leg before she had ripped it open.
The more of my poor heart you take
The larger grows my heart!
And, since some target I must show
For Cupid's cruel dart,
Oh, if mine own you deign to keep,
Then give me your sweet heart!
My heart to yours sounds but one cry:
If kisses fast could flee
By letter, then with your sweet lips
My letters read should be!
If kisses could be writ with ink,
If kisses fast could flee!
Hermione’s heart fluttered madly as she read the impassioned words.
A Terrible Temptation by Friendlyquark aka barriequark
10. Two hours later an owl swooped in and deposited a brown wrapped box on Hermione’s desk next to the roses. Of course, Draco was right there when Hermione started to rip off the wrapping.
Hermione’s eyes went wide when she revealed the gift. “Oh my, it’s a box of Belgium Chocolates.”
“Where is the card?” Draco asked looking at the box.
Hermione looked around and found it taped to the bottom on the box.
“My love, I hope you enjoy the chocolates. I know that they are your favorite. I look forward to seeing you tonight. That is if you do not stand me up. The name of the restaurant is on the back of the card. I made the reservations for eight o’clock. Until then, my love.”
“Good gods, Granger, you really did a number on this bloke.”
Hermione ignored her co-worker as she flipped over the card, her eyes widened in shock. “This is the most expensive restaurant in Paris!”
“Impressive, so what are you going to wear?”
“Wait, what weren’t you just telling me a few hours ago that this wasn’t a good idea?”
Her Secret Admirer by lilbitbord