Drunk!Hermione Quiz
If you had to put up with everything our favorite insufferable know-it-all has, you'd want a drink, too! What happens when that great mind gets liberated by a little too much alcohol? All sorts of fun! Come join the party and play!
This quiz was chosen by tamatersweet as her prize for being the fastest beaweasley2 fangirl around!
Who's been on enough drunken forays with Hermione to ace this quiz? The fastest fangirl gets to choose next week's quiz. Grab your Sober Up Potion and get to work!
Match the quote to the story title:
Appropriate Commentary by sc010f
Tequila Shots by femmequixotic
Seven Habits of Highly Hateful People by hayseed_42
Objects of Desire by Azrael
Not a Virgin by potionmistressm
In Whisky Veritas by luthien
Celebration by shiv5468
A Grand, Dramatic Gesture by Miri Tiazan
In Vino Veritas by Ancilla’s Portrait
The Witches of Gilford by pyjamapants WIP
The Absinthe of Reason by mundungus42
As Soon As I Belong by firefly_124
1. “So that was a wand in your pocket,” she said in a disappointed tone.
“Yes, but I’ve got a much bigger one hidden elsewhere. Why don’t you look for it?” It’s a good job she’s drunk, he thought, I’d never get away with a line that if she was sober. Fortunately, although her critical faculties were dulled, she still managed to find her way to his fly. A couple of deft twists and his buttons were open, and her hand was finding its way to a place where it was definitely welcome.
“You’re right, it is much bigger”, she smirked.
He smirked back and bent his head to take a nipple into his mouth.
Suddenly they could hear something that wiped the smile of both their faces - voices coming towards them. She was sitting on his lap, wearing no shirt or bra and playing find the wand in his trousers.
2. Sitting at a small table on the sidelines and getting blessedly pissed was about the only thing that made these things remotely tolerable, and she had learned to do it well. That and hexing the occasional idiot who tried to hit on her. Creative hexing while drunk was almost sufficient distraction from her reason for being here.
Almost.
And here came another one. She did not even bother to look up. Instead, she pointed her wand at the approaching torso and legs, not caring if her hand wavered.
"You really want to leave me alone," she said.
"Miss Granger," replied a familiar voice, "you are far too intoxicated to possibly cast the simplest spell with any accuracy."
She looked up, then, and snorted as she lowered her wand. My, how the world had changed when he was no threat.
"True enough," she admitted. "But you should see some of the interesting results."
3. It was only after they'd gone that Hermione realised she should have asked them if they knew where Snape was. He was still nowhere to be seen, and it was unlikely that Dumbledore or McGonagall would depart without bidding farewell to their host.
Hermione looked around the room, wincing as the sudden movement of her head caused the room to spin out of control for a moment. Looking down - away from the light - she noticed her glass waiting on the side-table where she'd deposited it before getting up off the rug. She might as well go in search of that mixer and finish her drink while she waited for Snape to reappear.
There was no such thing as Coke, or anything remotely similar, to be found in a Wizarding kitchen. It appeared that wizards hadn't quite got the hang of ginger ale yet, either - or, at least, Snape hadn't.
4. Despite all his intentions to the contrary, he’d actually enjoyed their evening together. Hoping that it was just the Firewhisky that was making the world seem so off-kilter, Severus stood and pulled his cloak on with rather more force than was necessary.
Pleasantly tipsy, Hermione and Severus ambled to Flourish and Blotts. Preferring conversation to awkward silence following her rather embarrassing outburst, Hermione asked, “So, how did you manage this week's reading?”
5. “You were in Azkaban... you don't know what it was like when the war ended, if I'd thought... he asked... it was an easy way to become unavailable, Harry had Ginny, I thought it was convenient for us both”.
“And now?”
“I love Molly... I don't want to become her”.
“I'm sure he'd understand”.
“You know he wouldn't, besides there's...” she stopped again and toyed with her glass for a moment before holding it out to him. “I've changed my mind”.
“Don't you think you should keep a clear head?”
“Why? I've always been the one with the clear head, the sensible one, the one that does what's right... don't I deserve a night off?”
He shrugged and took the glass, “I don't have to deal with the consequences” he filled it before turning away and putting the bottle on the ground away from him.
6. Malfoy groaned. "Even when she's drunk, she's an insufferable little swot."
"Bite me, Malfoy," she said lightly, favoring him with a saccharine smile.
"Oh, you wish."
"No thanks," she told him, still polite, "I don't think I could afford the cost of the ritual cleansing I'd require afterward."
"Well, as lovely as this is," Ron interrupted, giving an exaggerated sigh, "some of us would prefer to get to bed some time before dawn. You know: making a living? Buying Malfoy's beer? Putting a roof over your miserable heads?"
Rolling her eyes, Hermione punched him in the arm.
7. She had it all worked out up until the epitaph on her gravestone after she succumbed to the consumption she would undoubtedly contract.
She was deliberating between “She died a martyr to cruel destiny” and “She always loved chocolate” when the banging of the door disrupted her gloomy reverie. She looked muzzily up to see the potions master striding angrily toward her. At least, she thought it was him; she was having some trouble focusing.
“What,” he bit off icily, “could you possibly think you are doing?”
Hermione smiled dreamily up at him. “Getting drunk.”
Snape growled, and, throwing a few galleons next to her empty glass, picked her up and carried her unceremoniously out of the bar. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she buried her nose in his collarbone. “You smell good,” she informed him. He snorted and ignored her, striding out into the snow.
“What possessed you?” he demanded, still holding her as they made their way out of Hogsmeade.
8. Her eyes were too bright, her cheeks flushed, and Severus had been in this business long enough to recognise the signs of being entirely off one’s tits.
Granger laughed and then her eyes widened and she pressed a hand to her mouth, paper serviettes still crumpled in her fingers. “I’m sorry.”
Severus rolled his eyes and he set his glass down. “Another, Edward.” The bartender nodded and Granger looked over at him.
“And a tequila for me, will you? With lime, please.”
Severus raised an eyebrow. Somehow he’d seen her ordering far more of a girl’s drink. Something frothy with fruit and cream. He was impressed. Perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised, however. Granger always had a certain amount of bollocks that most girls her age had lacked.
9. June 24, 1998 11:48 pm to 1:30 am on 25 June
Experience with Butter Rum in a social setting. First round drained quickly, led to revelations of a highly personal nature. Experienced heightened degree of alcohol induced sexual awareness. Compromised decision-making skills. Because all drank second round together, passed personal threshold. Hangover experience is unparallelled. Nausea, headache, blurred vision, dry mouth, photophobia. Two Sobering Spells were required before having an effect.
Compromised decision-making skills.
The sense of foreboding that, until that moment, had been cleverly disguised as hangover chose that moment to manifest itself. The piece of knowledge that had been tickling the back of her brain burst forth into full-blown, panic-inducing splendour.
10. Severus had insisted that they walk through the fine summer evening, since the restaurant was Muggle, and it wouldn't do to attract untoward attention. As such, he had pressed his hand against the small of her back to guide her through the crush of Wombat-kiwi-Swizzle-drinking witches and wizards and out the door onto the Muggle side of 82nd Street.
Hermione noticed that he didn't take his hand away the minute they hit the street. In fact, it wasn't until they arrived at 89th that he even made to move away from her. By that time, the Firewhisky had kicked in sufficiently to make her giggly (by her standards) and flirtatious, and so she pulled a small moue of disappointment as his hand disappeared. She hoped he'd noticed.
The red wine was quite nice, as was the penne alla vodka. Hermione deliberately started an argument about the validity of detention as a disciplinary tool in order to distract him from the fact that her foot was brushing up against his calf and her hand was ever so casually tracing his knuckle.
The tiramisu was unremarkable, but the fact that he actually let her eat some of it off his own fork was a triumph. By that time, the wine and the Firewhisky had been joined by espresso. It was a matter of a well-timed stumble on the sidewalk to get his arm around her as they walked back to the hotel, with a detour through Central Park. She was glad that she'd had so much to drink. He never would have taken her seriously, otherwise.
This quiz was chosen by tamatersweet as her prize for being the fastest beaweasley2 fangirl around!
Who's been on enough drunken forays with Hermione to ace this quiz? The fastest fangirl gets to choose next week's quiz. Grab your Sober Up Potion and get to work!
Match the quote to the story title:
Appropriate Commentary by sc010f
Tequila Shots by femmequixotic
Seven Habits of Highly Hateful People by hayseed_42
Objects of Desire by Azrael
Not a Virgin by potionmistressm
In Whisky Veritas by luthien
Celebration by shiv5468
A Grand, Dramatic Gesture by Miri Tiazan
In Vino Veritas by Ancilla’s Portrait
The Witches of Gilford by pyjamapants WIP
The Absinthe of Reason by mundungus42
As Soon As I Belong by firefly_124
1. “So that was a wand in your pocket,” she said in a disappointed tone.
“Yes, but I’ve got a much bigger one hidden elsewhere. Why don’t you look for it?” It’s a good job she’s drunk, he thought, I’d never get away with a line that if she was sober. Fortunately, although her critical faculties were dulled, she still managed to find her way to his fly. A couple of deft twists and his buttons were open, and her hand was finding its way to a place where it was definitely welcome.
“You’re right, it is much bigger”, she smirked.
He smirked back and bent his head to take a nipple into his mouth.
Suddenly they could hear something that wiped the smile of both their faces - voices coming towards them. She was sitting on his lap, wearing no shirt or bra and playing find the wand in his trousers.
2. Sitting at a small table on the sidelines and getting blessedly pissed was about the only thing that made these things remotely tolerable, and she had learned to do it well. That and hexing the occasional idiot who tried to hit on her. Creative hexing while drunk was almost sufficient distraction from her reason for being here.
Almost.
And here came another one. She did not even bother to look up. Instead, she pointed her wand at the approaching torso and legs, not caring if her hand wavered.
"You really want to leave me alone," she said.
"Miss Granger," replied a familiar voice, "you are far too intoxicated to possibly cast the simplest spell with any accuracy."
She looked up, then, and snorted as she lowered her wand. My, how the world had changed when he was no threat.
"True enough," she admitted. "But you should see some of the interesting results."
3. It was only after they'd gone that Hermione realised she should have asked them if they knew where Snape was. He was still nowhere to be seen, and it was unlikely that Dumbledore or McGonagall would depart without bidding farewell to their host.
Hermione looked around the room, wincing as the sudden movement of her head caused the room to spin out of control for a moment. Looking down - away from the light - she noticed her glass waiting on the side-table where she'd deposited it before getting up off the rug. She might as well go in search of that mixer and finish her drink while she waited for Snape to reappear.
There was no such thing as Coke, or anything remotely similar, to be found in a Wizarding kitchen. It appeared that wizards hadn't quite got the hang of ginger ale yet, either - or, at least, Snape hadn't.
4. Despite all his intentions to the contrary, he’d actually enjoyed their evening together. Hoping that it was just the Firewhisky that was making the world seem so off-kilter, Severus stood and pulled his cloak on with rather more force than was necessary.
Pleasantly tipsy, Hermione and Severus ambled to Flourish and Blotts. Preferring conversation to awkward silence following her rather embarrassing outburst, Hermione asked, “So, how did you manage this week's reading?”
5. “You were in Azkaban... you don't know what it was like when the war ended, if I'd thought... he asked... it was an easy way to become unavailable, Harry had Ginny, I thought it was convenient for us both”.
“And now?”
“I love Molly... I don't want to become her”.
“I'm sure he'd understand”.
“You know he wouldn't, besides there's...” she stopped again and toyed with her glass for a moment before holding it out to him. “I've changed my mind”.
“Don't you think you should keep a clear head?”
“Why? I've always been the one with the clear head, the sensible one, the one that does what's right... don't I deserve a night off?”
He shrugged and took the glass, “I don't have to deal with the consequences” he filled it before turning away and putting the bottle on the ground away from him.
6. Malfoy groaned. "Even when she's drunk, she's an insufferable little swot."
"Bite me, Malfoy," she said lightly, favoring him with a saccharine smile.
"Oh, you wish."
"No thanks," she told him, still polite, "I don't think I could afford the cost of the ritual cleansing I'd require afterward."
"Well, as lovely as this is," Ron interrupted, giving an exaggerated sigh, "some of us would prefer to get to bed some time before dawn. You know: making a living? Buying Malfoy's beer? Putting a roof over your miserable heads?"
Rolling her eyes, Hermione punched him in the arm.
7. She had it all worked out up until the epitaph on her gravestone after she succumbed to the consumption she would undoubtedly contract.
She was deliberating between “She died a martyr to cruel destiny” and “She always loved chocolate” when the banging of the door disrupted her gloomy reverie. She looked muzzily up to see the potions master striding angrily toward her. At least, she thought it was him; she was having some trouble focusing.
“What,” he bit off icily, “could you possibly think you are doing?”
Hermione smiled dreamily up at him. “Getting drunk.”
Snape growled, and, throwing a few galleons next to her empty glass, picked her up and carried her unceremoniously out of the bar. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she buried her nose in his collarbone. “You smell good,” she informed him. He snorted and ignored her, striding out into the snow.
“What possessed you?” he demanded, still holding her as they made their way out of Hogsmeade.
8. Her eyes were too bright, her cheeks flushed, and Severus had been in this business long enough to recognise the signs of being entirely off one’s tits.
Granger laughed and then her eyes widened and she pressed a hand to her mouth, paper serviettes still crumpled in her fingers. “I’m sorry.”
Severus rolled his eyes and he set his glass down. “Another, Edward.” The bartender nodded and Granger looked over at him.
“And a tequila for me, will you? With lime, please.”
Severus raised an eyebrow. Somehow he’d seen her ordering far more of a girl’s drink. Something frothy with fruit and cream. He was impressed. Perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised, however. Granger always had a certain amount of bollocks that most girls her age had lacked.
9. June 24, 1998 11:48 pm to 1:30 am on 25 June
Experience with Butter Rum in a social setting. First round drained quickly, led to revelations of a highly personal nature. Experienced heightened degree of alcohol induced sexual awareness. Compromised decision-making skills. Because all drank second round together, passed personal threshold. Hangover experience is unparallelled. Nausea, headache, blurred vision, dry mouth, photophobia. Two Sobering Spells were required before having an effect.
Compromised decision-making skills.
The sense of foreboding that, until that moment, had been cleverly disguised as hangover chose that moment to manifest itself. The piece of knowledge that had been tickling the back of her brain burst forth into full-blown, panic-inducing splendour.
10. Severus had insisted that they walk through the fine summer evening, since the restaurant was Muggle, and it wouldn't do to attract untoward attention. As such, he had pressed his hand against the small of her back to guide her through the crush of Wombat-kiwi-Swizzle-drinking witches and wizards and out the door onto the Muggle side of 82nd Street.
Hermione noticed that he didn't take his hand away the minute they hit the street. In fact, it wasn't until they arrived at 89th that he even made to move away from her. By that time, the Firewhisky had kicked in sufficiently to make her giggly (by her standards) and flirtatious, and so she pulled a small moue of disappointment as his hand disappeared. She hoped he'd noticed.
The red wine was quite nice, as was the penne alla vodka. Hermione deliberately started an argument about the validity of detention as a disciplinary tool in order to distract him from the fact that her foot was brushing up against his calf and her hand was ever so casually tracing his knuckle.
The tiramisu was unremarkable, but the fact that he actually let her eat some of it off his own fork was a triumph. By that time, the wine and the Firewhisky had been joined by espresso. It was a matter of a well-timed stumble on the sidewalk to get his arm around her as they walked back to the hotel, with a detour through Central Park. She was glad that she'd had so much to drink. He never would have taken her seriously, otherwise.