Comments | qwnbch: (без темы)

qwnbch

(Untitled)

Oct 14, 2007 00:34

Oh yeah - did I mention that I may not get the full movement (of my toes) back?
I had NO idea I had lost the movement until I was told by the doc this past Thursday.
I can move them a teeeeny bit - but barely.
I think I had totally forgotten that tiny tid-bit, since I'm so tweaked over the fact that I have to have another surgery. An extensive ( Read more... )

foot

Comments 36

logicalargument October 14 2007, 06:16:22 UTC

I wish I could be there. You shouldn't have to beg anyone - someone should be volunteering to be there.

qwnbch October 14 2007, 06:19:45 UTC

I'm tired.
I'm tired of all the bullshit.
I'm tired of all the shit.
I'm tired of things being how they are.
Damn. I'm really tired.

logicalargument October 14 2007, 06:24:21 UTC

Of course you're exhausted. The prospect of losing some of the use of your foot is a scary thing to face, and as someone just said to me on the phone, "we're not meant to be here alone."

But this is a time when things could begin to change for the better. Katie is there, and I think you're ready to let people be there for you. I believe that can happen for you, from now on. I believe that you don't have to be alone with everything that you have been carrying for so long.

I know that it sounds empty to say that I'm sending you love, hugs or positive energy from all this distance away, but for whatever it's worth, I am. I wish I could do more.

qwnbch October 14 2007, 06:32:31 UTC

I'm not worried or scared. I don't do that. I either will, or I won't. People forget I had many sports injuries, as a gymnast - and as a tom-boy. I have had numerous injuries that I've had to rehabilitate my way back from, like: My right knee, twice in a row; my back; my hand (when I was a kid) ...
I get annoyed. Nothing about scared - nothing about worried.

And yeah - Katie is here - in this house ... she will not be at the hospital. She has to work - like everyone else.

I am tired of being reminded about how alone I really am.
Not because someone rudely points it out - but because of situations and circumstances that just continue to be shoved in my face - lately ... for the last year and a half, actually.

Thread 13

justpapabear October 14 2007, 12:43:18 UTC

Lonely is not safe for me. I hate facing the hard things in life alone. I wish I weren't so far away.

Pity party...I got the whine... rev_mom October 14 2007, 15:06:27 UTC

yeah, and everyone is just lining up to deliver me balloons and flowers! laugh!

but truly this "alone" stuff does suck...wait until yout kids grow up amd move away and you're estranged from your parents and family...I can hardly wait until I retire and NO ONE needs me. ya, I know, I have friends and I have a daughter, but they all have lives. It's not the same. Rhonda knows what I mean. I expect the ass that told me I wasn't going to have to do this alone to resurface after the hairy part is done, and oh boy, is he gonna get an earful. ...and a foot in the ass. I don't need to be jerked around and thrown crumbs.

My sister is going to try to get off work for my surgery on Tuesday, but if she can't, it will just be a big expensive vet appointment for me. drop me off at 5am, I should be waking up around 11am and in my room by 2pm. Hope my damned phone works this time.... Hopefuil I'll be out Wednesday morning...and guess where I'll be heading?

Re: Pity party...I got the whine... justpapabear October 14 2007, 15:25:32 UTC

I have my mother, and my daughter, so I guess I really can't say I know what it means to be alone. That was presumptuous of me.

You will probably be going back to work I take it?

Re: Pity party...I got the whine... rev_mom October 14 2007, 18:25:53 UTC

yes, back to work. They have heat, coffee, soda and highspeed cable here :)

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rev_mom October 14 2007, 15:09:13 UTC

so...what damage exactly did you do to your foot? Was it the infection or the foreign body that caused the damage?

we're all spread all over the united states...this sucks.

qwnbch October 14 2007, 19:00:58 UTC

The 1.5cm toothpick piece is embedded in the tendon, just up under the 3rd and 4th toe - almost to the joint.

Yeah - having everyone spread out is getting old ... for right now, anyway.

logicalargument October 14 2007, 19:03:26 UTC

Serious OUCH.

Hard to believe that even with the MRI, JPS missed that. But I do believe you. There seems to be no limit to the ability of human beings to screw up seemingly simple and obvious things.

qwnbch October 14 2007, 21:36:12 UTC

It's because I was at County - being worked on by a THREE MONTH OLD doctor, because County protocol dictates this little scenario. There was NO attending present - there was NO attending consult - there was NO attending! omg!

Unfuckingreal.

Had the freakin' hospital allowed me to be admitted without the $15,000 up front - and MY doc had done the surgery - it would have been done the *gasp* RIGHT WAY, and this would be OVER already. But noooooooooooooo ... let's fuck up the ones that can't afford it because - well - they can afford to get fucked up and not be able to work for an indefinite period of time. Yeah.

And I have good insurance!!
WHY do I bother to pay for my insurance?

If anyone at JPS thinks that I'm gong to pay THAT bill - they are higher than I EVER was!!!

Thread 13