"Fuck.. I'm not old, motherFUCKer!"
I've been home for about 4 hours. 5 hours. I came online a handful of times in North Conway, but didn't update. Had some good nights. Last night was pretty exhausting and I barely slept at all. Evan came up on Wednesday. Good. Bad. I don't know. Just stuff. We couldn't get ahold of Crystal, so we never got together with her, I miss her :(
I've been wicked irritable since I've been home, and the whole ride home as well. As soon as me, Holly and Steph start leaving, I'm informed that I have to pick up Steph's boyfriend. Then he calls and I'm asking about how he's getting home in the morning and how I really don't feel like leaving early to go bring him home before work and etc etc and Steph just says to him "Don't worry, It's all taken care of."
Thanks for asking.
Took a hot bath for like an hour, felt like driving, gah.. and I go to Gino's to visit Ges at work, really I didn't know where I was going, just driving, getting out of here, ended up checking my schedule at work, getting my paycheck. I had no idea Ges was working, but she was, as well as Tonya, and Laura, and Ed, so I had to stop and talk to them all. Work was dead and even though I need the cash, I really hope it's like that tomorrow. Maybe I could almost get out of there at a decent time.
Auh.
So, Steph's bf, whatever his name is, just walked out here from the living room and starts staring at what I'm doing as I'm typing. I look up at him and give him a dirty look and I'm like "What?" And he just keeps on reading so I tap his face like, what?! And he's like, Don't touch me, bitch. So I have to close the window for him to go away. I've never even talked to this kid before. Gah. I hate it when people read everything I'm doing online. Like read my IMs with people as I'm talking to them, read my Emails as I am when I open them, read my responses, comment on it, it's probably my biggest pet peeve and that's usually why I try to stay offline when people are over, GAH IT MAKES ME MAD.
But I'm just bitching.
Anyway.
And anyway, I came home and climbed into bed, put on a movie, start to fall asleep, and Steph comes in and she's being all nicey-nice and watching the movie with me, leaves for like 15min, comes back up and sits next to me and is being cool for like 2 mins, then she's like "Hey.. do you have weed?" "Yeah.." "Can we have it?"
Whatever.
I said fine just so she'd get out of there and stop pretending to be nice to get it and whatever blah blah and I was like yeah, I'll get it in a minute. Because I was sleeping. And she was like, noo, just tell me where it is and I'll get it now. So I was like whatever and told her where it was and she's making a ton of noise and my DVD players skipping because she's moving it around and I started yelling at her hardcore to just take it and get the fuck out.
Because I'm sick of being used.
I really am.
Everyone just uses me.
Well, fuck you guys.
And like.. yesterday even, I think, Evan was posting in his journal things that reminded him of me, and I really felt surprised because I didn't even know that there was this much to me.
Things like..
(music.movies.nin.the radio.camaros.sleeping.long hair.the stars and moon.nirvana.incubus.bright eyes.marb reds.black cloves.the smell of vanilla.gino's.dreadlocks.crows.eyes.the colour brown/yellow.msi.vegans.vegetarianism.skipping class.red bull.being cold.skirts.neck ties.photography.drawing.)
I cut some stuff out but that's mostly copy/paste, I wicked want to sit down tonight and think like.. what the fuck would even remind ME of me?
Goodnight, I'm beat. I just got out of my second hot bath.