Arashi fic - Concrete
Title: Concrete
Genre: Romance, Angst
Pairing: Sakumiya, Unrequited Matsumiya and Sakumoto
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't know Arashi. None of this ever happened.
Beta'ed by my crazy eva_lee
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Jun is young, but he isn't that young anymore, and something internal tells him that maybe he shouldn't be watching them; watching what is probably a private moment (in hushed tones and coy, secretive smiles) like some sort of creeper. He's done well at hiding both himself and how he's feeling over the years, but he can't help the sinking ache that washes over him as he sees their exchange. How many times has it been now? He'd lost count a long time ago.
It's always the same too; they steal away for a few precious moments and Jun follows. He knows it's wrong, but he really can't help it - after all, it's not their hearts alone that are affected. Jun is resigned, but he can't let go, and sometimes he wishes for something a little more concrete between the pair. Maybe then he'll be able to move along. He wants to move along. Jun is forever standing in place, waiting for something that will allow him a way out. He knows nothing ever will, just as he'll never be able to escape this longing, a forever-unrequited feeling.
The pair before him shift closer, leaning against a column amidst the shadows of the late afternoon and Jun grasps at the wall. No matter how many times he calls himself pathetic, he can't turn away from Sho's timid smile and the soft look on Nino's face. They're beautiful, both of them, but that doesn't stop Jun from wondering why him? And he's taken back to that time so long ago, when he was nothing more than a sixteen-year-old child with his first hard crush.
“It had to be you,” he mouths silently.
It had to be Sho and it has to be Nino and Jun loves them both so much. It's not something he'll voice aloud, or throw around as casually as Aiba does, but the feeling is there and pure and real. So real.
Nino reaches out and takes Sho's hand, taking his wrist first and gliding down the palm until their fingers entwine; Jun knows the way that feels. They talk and smile, looking up every now and again to meet the other’s hesitant eyes, completely unaware of Jun's existence, unaware of the way he hopes for and against. His good sense begs them to take it one step further; their grip on his heart asks them to take a step back.
Sho leans forward and ruffles a hand through Nino's short hair, taking the time to brush his bangs back afterward, lingering in place until his vision catches and suddenly everything is more serious. Jun wants to be there with them, to share in their moment and the obvious care that floats between them, as impossible as it seems.
He can almost hear the intake of air between them, and his eyes widen just a fraction. He knows something is about to happen, and whether or not it ends with one of them walking away, Jun knows he can't stop watching. His beating heart seems to echo the resounding no, no, no in his mind. Time stills as he is frozen in place; nothing moves ahead and nothing moves back except the objects of his intense gaze.
They both take that single step forward, lips meeting tentatively, and Jun knows that this is his answer.
He turns around because he loves them both.