Sooo....where the hell have I been? Almost an entire year and it's sad to report that nothing has changed...not so much ( Read more... )

this is my chance to get out. i can be on my own and be concerned for myself. i don't have to worry about other people and whether they're taking care of their own shit. i know i should get out...i doubt i will.

Now i have no problem with religion, I admire people who have such great faith because I have very little. But am i suppose to not be hurt when my boyfriend says he wants to go to church with some random ass girl from his work? Some girl I have never heard of or met? 1. Faith is personal, and it hurts that it's not something that he wants me to be ( Read more... )

i don't want a rollercoaster relationship. i don't want inconsistency. i don't want lies and sneaking. i don't want two faced-ness. i don't want intoxicated stupidness. there are so many things that i don't want...but those are the things i have. i just want him to love me, and i want to feel it. i want to feel trusted, and i want to trust. i' ( Read more... )

it's holiday break. brandon came up north only a few days after i did since he didn't have to work much. i wish i could freely hang out with my friends, but i want to be with him, perhaps because i don't trust him, perhaps because i feel bad. he's flirting with my friend sam now...maybe he's not...i guess i'm just so selfish that if he's not ( Read more... )

things are okay...i think so. i still feel like i can't trust brandon...perhaps he loves me...maybe. it's just so hard to trust him, and now i'll be leaving for home for a little over a week, we won't see each other for a few days. i'm not sure how i should feel. should i say "please don't hang out with girls" or should i bite my tongue? i think ( Read more... )

I'm quite positive that my boyfriend no longer loves me ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm trying to prove something by dating Brandon...well continuing to. I would feel so ashamed if things ended because then everyone would've been right, he wasn't good for me and it was going to end. Not to mention, I think i'm extremely afraid to be single. This was my first real, official, long term relationship, and i do enjoy it ( Read more... )

i think that i resent everything here in michigan, because it's not like everything there in california. i miss my friends, my friends who became my best friends in a matter of two months versus the people here that i've known for most of my life, but don't know me. i wish i were there. i think i'd be happy.

know what's sad? i used to be way popular on livejournal. i miss all of my livejournal friends. they were nice.