My life is a corny but sad soap opera.
This is pretty much a rant about my life at school, and also an attemp to figure out how to use an lj cut. so, if it doesn't work, sorry to anybody who's stuck with this on their flist :)
So, I basically disapprove of my best friend's boyfriend.
Well, not best friend anymore, really. She annoys me. But her boyfriend is literally the biggest asshole I've ever met. He believes that he is superior to everyone else, homosexuals and Jews should be burned, poor people are a disgrace, and everyone who isn't a Roman Catholic should go to hell. And I'm not just saying those things out of anger- he really does believe it. He is disgusting. However, he was a fun, sometimes nice person to hang around, and was one of my good friends. But recently, he's been pissing me off so much, it's ridiculous.
The reason he's pissing me off so much more now is because he's dating my recent best friend. They only started going out in June or so, and they are already-- just aaahh. They hang off each other, and he gives her hickies all over her neck just as a way to mark her. It's not like they're having sex (well, they probably are, actually) and it wouldn't be a problem if they were, but he does it just because he can. We'll all be sitting in a friend's house or something, and he'll just lean over and suck on each side or her neck until she has a bunch of massive marks. He feels up her breasts in public and does obnoxious and sickening things like looking down her shirt to see what bra she is wearing. It's revolting to watch, and the worst thing is, they do it all in public. Like, in the middle of the school hallway, and in the middle of people's houses, and everywhere else too. Actually, I think the worst part is that she lets him.
I really used to love my best friend- she was one of the most adorable, nicest, gorgeous people you would have ever met. She had an obsession with dolphins (hahaha), she refused to swear at all and detested the word 'fuck,' and wore cute, modest clothing. She was kinda shy sometimes, and a little bit sheltered, but I could tell her anything, and I really did love her. But she's just changed so much into the kind of person that I hate.
Now, she does everything differently, it's like the old her died or something. She recently gave herself blond highlights (but dyed it back later) and swears all the time, she's obsessed with her weight to the extreme, and she wears the sluttiest clothing. She's not at all fat- she's actually amazingly gorgeous, one of those people with a natural beauty that needs no makeup or products to look stunning. But now she wears the makeup, and counts calories and carbohydrates and fat and sugar and everything. For all I know, she's probably going anorexic. And it's all her boyfriend's fault- I'm 99% positive that he says she's fat. He has finally succeed in doing what he's said he was gonna do for a long time- turn her into a "high-class whore." That being a direct quote from him. (Except she's not very high-class.)
The way he treats her, though, is what gets to me even more than how much she's changed. He controls her to the point where people who know nothing about the situation can tell that their relationship is ridiculously unhealthy. He tells her what to do and what to wear and who to talk to and hang out with. I remember one time over the summer, everybody went swimming, and she wanted to go in the water and he didn't want to yet. She said to him, "I'll meet you in the water," and he replied "If you leave, I'll break up with you." That, I think, was the point where everybody realized how bad everything was getting. He's been doing a lot of that recently again, more than usual, and it's not good. He has been coughing repeatedly and deliberately on her face multiple times throughout the days, and this had caused everybody to be like ....WHAT. This is not only an act of control, it is a form of abuse that could get her seriously sick, especially since winter is approaching, and swine flu has been making it's rounds. But she did- for once- actually stand up for herself and asked him to stop. He then told her "If you love me, you'll accept my germs." This disgusts me more than words can even begin to explain.
I have not been an innocent bystander- I have talked to my best friend multiple times throughout the entire ordeal. I have told her time and time again to be careful, that I'm not sure how much he even cares for her, that it's going to turn into physical abuse sooner rather than later. I don't want to hurt her myself, but I'd rather hurt her than let him do the dirty work.
My best friend has started to tell him everything too. Not just me, but no one can tell her anything anymore, because he will hear about it immediately. I stopped telling her anything after the time that she told him secrets that I had told no one else. He cannot keep a secret, also- if he knows something, it will soon become common knowledge. However, the other day, I decided to have a more serious talk with her than we'd had in a while. I told her that it was unhealthy, and it looked like he wanted to control her more than he wanted to love her. She then went and immediately told him what I had said, and needless to say, his asshole self got pissed.
Now, if someone said to me that they thought I didn't love my significant other, I would become upset, and try to work things out and fix it. Instead, I got corned after classes finished, and then got yelled at. He walked up to me, asked if he could have a word, and then said to me "Stay out of my relationship, you stupid bitch." I then told him that I had a right to care for my best friend, and he told me I was a bitch again, and then walked away. (Of course, it probably didn't help that I yelled after him, "Don't call me a fucking bitch!" but I think that I was entitled to. :P )
Then, this morning, I was ignored by both of them for the entire day. Neither of them spoke to me at all. And I can't help but wonder, is this really my fault? Do I really deserve to be treated like this? I was only trying to help, and I thought that it had gotten to the point where my meddling would have had a positive effect. Other mutual friends agree with me on almost every point as well as having their own complaints. I wouldn't have spoken up just for the cruelty of ruining their relationship. But still... this really is making me feel like a bad person. I don't want to make my best friend unhappy, and I want to conserve what's left of our relationship.
So, I just sent her a message that was most of my true feelings, but also a little bit to make her feel bad and question things a little bit. Which makes me feel like even worse of a person, but hey. I highly doubt I'll want to talk to her, or she'll be allowed to talk to me, anytime soon.
All of this makes me want to say: Relax, people. We're only in high school, you have the rest of your lives to get involved in abusive relationships. In the meantime, breathe, relax, and cherish your friends while you still have them.
--
Which brings up to less angsty, more evil humor/discussion part of the post. The part that discusses my friend's slutty outfit today. Honestly, I wish I could have taken a picture, it was awful. It was this lowcut, frilly pink camisole under a black short sleeve (also frilly) half jacket, with one of the shortest plaid skirts I've ever seen. Add in the black platform velvet Mary Janes, and you've got yourself the epitome of a slutty school girl.
So naturally, my friend kairouwatoshimi and I were talking about her whore outfit and their relationship today at lunch using the notes function on my ipod. We changed their names to Edward and Bella because that's who they act like. our other friend i named alice, just to stick with the whole twilight thing. (which we hate. haha, don't you just love us.) Enjoy our nasty, mean conversation!!
--
Lunchtime Drama with Bella and Edward
kairou: did edward tell bella to ignore u
me: i have no idea and i really don't care. they're the same person, there's not chance to talk to bella. i think he did probably but it's not like i've really talked to her in ages anyway. I may have lost a best friend but i won't miss her
kairou: AND THEN THEY DIED!!
me: i wish. or at least left the school or something. i don't wanna see public sex or slut skirts
kairou: bella's in a bad mood
me: isn't she always? it's her own fault. and what they're doing right now. that drapey thing that's not sweet it's just disgusting
kairou: she's feeling icky about her skirt
me: i hope so that's disgusting too. her underwear is pink and i should not know that
kairou: he was just playing with her boob EW
me: HE'S DOING IT AGAIN OMG SHOOT ME PLEASE!!! we're in public! they don't look affectionate at all, bella just looks like a possession.
kairou: i kind of feel sorry for her.
me: i dont really, she pretty much brought this upon herself. it's not that hard to break up with somebody like that
kairou: but like you said before she's in love with him
me: i don't see why he has no redeeming qualities
kairou: i know, it looks like he has a broken arm
me: what do you mean broken?
kairou: just that he needs someone to support him
me: no, he needs someone to control.
kairou: yep i think he made her wear the dress
me: you mean skirt?
kairou: yea
me: he went shopping with her and made her buy it
kairou: but he flirts with alice all the time in front of her
me: he just hugged her and she looked pissed. hahaha alice. i <3 her
kairou: bella is going to be really pissed at u. she didn't bother defending u this morning when edward was talking about how much of a bitch you were. edward probably told her not to
me: you have no idea how disappointed i am in her
kairou: ack i can see her ass!! <------- me: everybody else can too!
kairou: and since we're sitting on the floor it's worse
me: everyone else can see cause they're even more below us. :P
kairou: agh my eyes they burn
me: mine too!! pink pink pink!!
kairou: omg she just bent over
--
And so ended our lunch. We eat on a ramp, with a hallway below us, so all could see. And the way they sit draped over one another really is repulsive, you won't know how bad it is until you see it. Don't you just love how we talk to people like that? We're so kind. :P Anyway, on the off chance that someone actually reads this (especially this far), sorry for taking up so much of your time!! I just needed to organize my thoughts, and I find that typing them is the easiest way to do it. <3<3<3
So, I basically disapprove of my best friend's boyfriend.
Well, not best friend anymore, really. She annoys me. But her boyfriend is literally the biggest asshole I've ever met. He believes that he is superior to everyone else, homosexuals and Jews should be burned, poor people are a disgrace, and everyone who isn't a Roman Catholic should go to hell. And I'm not just saying those things out of anger- he really does believe it. He is disgusting. However, he was a fun, sometimes nice person to hang around, and was one of my good friends. But recently, he's been pissing me off so much, it's ridiculous.
The reason he's pissing me off so much more now is because he's dating my recent best friend. They only started going out in June or so, and they are already-- just aaahh. They hang off each other, and he gives her hickies all over her neck just as a way to mark her. It's not like they're having sex (well, they probably are, actually) and it wouldn't be a problem if they were, but he does it just because he can. We'll all be sitting in a friend's house or something, and he'll just lean over and suck on each side or her neck until she has a bunch of massive marks. He feels up her breasts in public and does obnoxious and sickening things like looking down her shirt to see what bra she is wearing. It's revolting to watch, and the worst thing is, they do it all in public. Like, in the middle of the school hallway, and in the middle of people's houses, and everywhere else too. Actually, I think the worst part is that she lets him.
I really used to love my best friend- she was one of the most adorable, nicest, gorgeous people you would have ever met. She had an obsession with dolphins (hahaha), she refused to swear at all and detested the word 'fuck,' and wore cute, modest clothing. She was kinda shy sometimes, and a little bit sheltered, but I could tell her anything, and I really did love her. But she's just changed so much into the kind of person that I hate.
Now, she does everything differently, it's like the old her died or something. She recently gave herself blond highlights (but dyed it back later) and swears all the time, she's obsessed with her weight to the extreme, and she wears the sluttiest clothing. She's not at all fat- she's actually amazingly gorgeous, one of those people with a natural beauty that needs no makeup or products to look stunning. But now she wears the makeup, and counts calories and carbohydrates and fat and sugar and everything. For all I know, she's probably going anorexic. And it's all her boyfriend's fault- I'm 99% positive that he says she's fat. He has finally succeed in doing what he's said he was gonna do for a long time- turn her into a "high-class whore." That being a direct quote from him. (Except she's not very high-class.)
The way he treats her, though, is what gets to me even more than how much she's changed. He controls her to the point where people who know nothing about the situation can tell that their relationship is ridiculously unhealthy. He tells her what to do and what to wear and who to talk to and hang out with. I remember one time over the summer, everybody went swimming, and she wanted to go in the water and he didn't want to yet. She said to him, "I'll meet you in the water," and he replied "If you leave, I'll break up with you." That, I think, was the point where everybody realized how bad everything was getting. He's been doing a lot of that recently again, more than usual, and it's not good. He has been coughing repeatedly and deliberately on her face multiple times throughout the days, and this had caused everybody to be like ....WHAT. This is not only an act of control, it is a form of abuse that could get her seriously sick, especially since winter is approaching, and swine flu has been making it's rounds. But she did- for once- actually stand up for herself and asked him to stop. He then told her "If you love me, you'll accept my germs." This disgusts me more than words can even begin to explain.
I have not been an innocent bystander- I have talked to my best friend multiple times throughout the entire ordeal. I have told her time and time again to be careful, that I'm not sure how much he even cares for her, that it's going to turn into physical abuse sooner rather than later. I don't want to hurt her myself, but I'd rather hurt her than let him do the dirty work.
My best friend has started to tell him everything too. Not just me, but no one can tell her anything anymore, because he will hear about it immediately. I stopped telling her anything after the time that she told him secrets that I had told no one else. He cannot keep a secret, also- if he knows something, it will soon become common knowledge. However, the other day, I decided to have a more serious talk with her than we'd had in a while. I told her that it was unhealthy, and it looked like he wanted to control her more than he wanted to love her. She then went and immediately told him what I had said, and needless to say, his asshole self got pissed.
Now, if someone said to me that they thought I didn't love my significant other, I would become upset, and try to work things out and fix it. Instead, I got corned after classes finished, and then got yelled at. He walked up to me, asked if he could have a word, and then said to me "Stay out of my relationship, you stupid bitch." I then told him that I had a right to care for my best friend, and he told me I was a bitch again, and then walked away. (Of course, it probably didn't help that I yelled after him, "Don't call me a fucking bitch!" but I think that I was entitled to. :P )
Then, this morning, I was ignored by both of them for the entire day. Neither of them spoke to me at all. And I can't help but wonder, is this really my fault? Do I really deserve to be treated like this? I was only trying to help, and I thought that it had gotten to the point where my meddling would have had a positive effect. Other mutual friends agree with me on almost every point as well as having their own complaints. I wouldn't have spoken up just for the cruelty of ruining their relationship. But still... this really is making me feel like a bad person. I don't want to make my best friend unhappy, and I want to conserve what's left of our relationship.
So, I just sent her a message that was most of my true feelings, but also a little bit to make her feel bad and question things a little bit. Which makes me feel like even worse of a person, but hey. I highly doubt I'll want to talk to her, or she'll be allowed to talk to me, anytime soon.
All of this makes me want to say: Relax, people. We're only in high school, you have the rest of your lives to get involved in abusive relationships. In the meantime, breathe, relax, and cherish your friends while you still have them.
--
Which brings up to less angsty, more evil humor/discussion part of the post. The part that discusses my friend's slutty outfit today. Honestly, I wish I could have taken a picture, it was awful. It was this lowcut, frilly pink camisole under a black short sleeve (also frilly) half jacket, with one of the shortest plaid skirts I've ever seen. Add in the black platform velvet Mary Janes, and you've got yourself the epitome of a slutty school girl.
So naturally, my friend kairouwatoshimi and I were talking about her whore outfit and their relationship today at lunch using the notes function on my ipod. We changed their names to Edward and Bella because that's who they act like. our other friend i named alice, just to stick with the whole twilight thing. (which we hate. haha, don't you just love us.) Enjoy our nasty, mean conversation!!
--
Lunchtime Drama with Bella and Edward
kairou: did edward tell bella to ignore u
me: i have no idea and i really don't care. they're the same person, there's not chance to talk to bella. i think he did probably but it's not like i've really talked to her in ages anyway. I may have lost a best friend but i won't miss her
kairou: AND THEN THEY DIED!!
me: i wish. or at least left the school or something. i don't wanna see public sex or slut skirts
kairou: bella's in a bad mood
me: isn't she always? it's her own fault. and what they're doing right now. that drapey thing that's not sweet it's just disgusting
kairou: she's feeling icky about her skirt
me: i hope so that's disgusting too. her underwear is pink and i should not know that
kairou: he was just playing with her boob EW
me: HE'S DOING IT AGAIN OMG SHOOT ME PLEASE!!! we're in public! they don't look affectionate at all, bella just looks like a possession.
kairou: i kind of feel sorry for her.
me: i dont really, she pretty much brought this upon herself. it's not that hard to break up with somebody like that
kairou: but like you said before she's in love with him
me: i don't see why he has no redeeming qualities
kairou: i know, it looks like he has a broken arm
me: what do you mean broken?
kairou: just that he needs someone to support him
me: no, he needs someone to control.
kairou: yep i think he made her wear the dress
me: you mean skirt?
kairou: yea
me: he went shopping with her and made her buy it
kairou: but he flirts with alice all the time in front of her
me: he just hugged her and she looked pissed. hahaha alice. i <3 her
kairou: bella is going to be really pissed at u. she didn't bother defending u this morning when edward was talking about how much of a bitch you were. edward probably told her not to
me: you have no idea how disappointed i am in her
kairou: ack i can see her ass!! <------- me: everybody else can too!
kairou: and since we're sitting on the floor it's worse
me: everyone else can see cause they're even more below us. :P
kairou: agh my eyes they burn
me: mine too!! pink pink pink!!
kairou: omg she just bent over
--
And so ended our lunch. We eat on a ramp, with a hallway below us, so all could see. And the way they sit draped over one another really is repulsive, you won't know how bad it is until you see it. Don't you just love how we talk to people like that? We're so kind. :P Anyway, on the off chance that someone actually reads this (especially this far), sorry for taking up so much of your time!! I just needed to organize my thoughts, and I find that typing them is the easiest way to do it. <3<3<3