Missed Opportunities
Disclaimer: I don't own
A/N: This is for IDF. My angsty, slightly bitter and angry thoughts about Alex's incommunicado-ness. Thanks for reading, hope you like!
She’d sworn if she got her second chance she would take it. She’d wasted so much time before. So many opportunities she didn’t take, silences she should’ve filled. For two and a half years she swore to herself that if she got those opportunities again she would take advantage of them. If Alex ever came back, she would tell her.
Olivia was never an optimist by nature, but she kept up the hopeful thoughts and silent prayers for Alex’s return anyway; for the life she wanted the chance to take a chance on. Surprisingly, on the day her wish came true it was her pessimistic, negative side that clamped down and took over and she could’ve kicked herself for not listening to it all along. See, her recklessly desperate dreams had come true, Alex was back.
Olivia figured it was her fault for not being more specific. When she’d asked for the ADA’s return she’d meant for the woman to be returned back to her. For the two of them to be right back on the line of flirtation they had been crossing with growing frequency before it was all stripped away. It was so easy to promise taking that leap of faith when the imagined reality was just as it had been before. But it wasn’t like that at all; this was not what Olivia had wanted. Having Alex back in the big city they both loved and not even knowing because the woman she hadn’t stopped thinking of for one day hadn’t bothered to call. The detective knew the reason that stung so deep was more than just the fact that it was now proven fact that she didn’t rate on the ADA’s list of important people at all. It was because of the number of times she had imagined receiving that phone call.
The scenario differed in detail every time, the conversation switching from happy, tearful, matter of fact, full of confessions. But the one similarity between them all was the fact that she’d called. Every time she thought about Alex coming home, she’d been told in some manner. So she’d gotten what she’d asked for, just not what she’d wanted. Alex Cabot is back, she’s alive and safe and standing three feet away. Olivia had been wasting months of opportunities she hadn’t even known she’d had.
But none of that really mattered. As she blatantly stared at the approaching blonde she vaguely wondered what happened when you didn’t use the second chance you had begged for and been given. She’d find out soon enough she knew because there was no way she was going to take a chance on someone who wouldn’t even pick up the phone.
A/N: This is for IDF. My angsty, slightly bitter and angry thoughts about Alex's incommunicado-ness. Thanks for reading, hope you like!
She’d sworn if she got her second chance she would take it. She’d wasted so much time before. So many opportunities she didn’t take, silences she should’ve filled. For two and a half years she swore to herself that if she got those opportunities again she would take advantage of them. If Alex ever came back, she would tell her.
Olivia was never an optimist by nature, but she kept up the hopeful thoughts and silent prayers for Alex’s return anyway; for the life she wanted the chance to take a chance on. Surprisingly, on the day her wish came true it was her pessimistic, negative side that clamped down and took over and she could’ve kicked herself for not listening to it all along. See, her recklessly desperate dreams had come true, Alex was back.
Olivia figured it was her fault for not being more specific. When she’d asked for the ADA’s return she’d meant for the woman to be returned back to her. For the two of them to be right back on the line of flirtation they had been crossing with growing frequency before it was all stripped away. It was so easy to promise taking that leap of faith when the imagined reality was just as it had been before. But it wasn’t like that at all; this was not what Olivia had wanted. Having Alex back in the big city they both loved and not even knowing because the woman she hadn’t stopped thinking of for one day hadn’t bothered to call. The detective knew the reason that stung so deep was more than just the fact that it was now proven fact that she didn’t rate on the ADA’s list of important people at all. It was because of the number of times she had imagined receiving that phone call.
The scenario differed in detail every time, the conversation switching from happy, tearful, matter of fact, full of confessions. But the one similarity between them all was the fact that she’d called. Every time she thought about Alex coming home, she’d been told in some manner. So she’d gotten what she’d asked for, just not what she’d wanted. Alex Cabot is back, she’s alive and safe and standing three feet away. Olivia had been wasting months of opportunities she hadn’t even known she’d had.
But none of that really mattered. As she blatantly stared at the approaching blonde she vaguely wondered what happened when you didn’t use the second chance you had begged for and been given. She’d find out soon enough she knew because there was no way she was going to take a chance on someone who wouldn’t even pick up the phone.