(Untitled)

[radio_aesthetic]

when it:s stormy outside, they slide big pieces of metal over my windows, blocking out all light. and my breathing sounds like tv static and the two clocks in my room tick me to sleep. and i look good in pictures but not in real life, and i get inspired by movie previews

Comments

I know the feeling.

[borrowed_hearts]

About the 'idealized bullshazzle'. About the longing to simply pack up a few clean clothes and a few great cd's and just go. I don't even want to have a goal. I want it to be the journey that matters. *sigh* Don't you hate sometimes how hard it is to just do what you want to do? Really makes you despise the people who try to stop you.

Re: I know the feeling.

[radio_aesthetic]

you totally should, girl. i mean, you're not enrolled in college this semester, you should just GO, bike down to mexico and ride the hell around.

that's what i'm going to do next summer, i think.

[saori_chan]

I`m going to be bitchy and cynical for a minute here.

The only part of that entry that`s true begins after "and I don`t know if I feel this all the time..." because freedom is a fallacy and to a point an oxymoron. And I have to wonder if that last part is what you actually realize or only what you consciously know you should believe.

Don`t you realize that it truly isn`t your surroundings, it`s you that makes a place what it is? I realize that`s easy to say and impossible to do properly, but... I know that sounds dumb and cheesy. But if you can`t adjust to life in Japan and make it your life and what you want, even if some people and some places and some other tangible things are missing, then you probably couldn`t do it South America either.

And a sidenote. I tried calling you Saturday, but your host dad said you were too sick to answer the phone. And I had 1 minute left on my cell. So yes.

[radio_aesthetic]

you are absolutely right. and i KNOW that and i keep telling myself that and it helps mostly. and i've been writing far too much self pity bullshit in this here journal. because last week was really amazingly lovely for me, and this week is going to be great too. and the next, and the next.

and i'm sorry about that phone call.