Show your cashier some love
I'm grateful for my jobs, and I love where I work. Sometimes it's hard to be on the same till for 9 hours day in and day out, but we do these things to get by.
But I have a few tips for anyone queueing in the holiday season or any other time of year:
- Most stores nowadays ask that you either bring your own bags or pay a nominal charge for one. Some stores donate all of the proceeds to an environmental charity, as does ours. So when I ask you if you want a bag, and you say yes, and I scan it in, and you ask me why you're paying 5p for a bag, and I tell you the proceeds go to an environmental charity, please disabuse yourself of the notion that by paying 5p for a bag you are "giving to charity". Then please don't regale me with the history of your generosity and how you don't want to support that particular charity. Most of the time I'll just give you the bag so we don't lose valuable custom (party line) and just so I can get the queue moving (my line) but sometimes the Grinch in me comes out and I wish you luck getting your stuff out of the store without a bag.
- When you are rude to me, I'm well within my rights to print out a layaway slip for your purchases and ring my bell for a manager just to let someone in a higher pay grade deal with you. I may tell you, "Gosh, that's too bad. I had no idea about (insert a problem that I can't do anything about.) I'll give you this layaway slip and you can talk to our manager ____ about it, all right? Thank you! Byyye!" This way I can (see first point) get the queue moving.
- If you insist on talking over your shoulder or barely speaking above a whisper, I'll be very polite to you and say, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that - did you say you wanted a bag?" If you do it again, I'll assume you do because you don't have one with you. If you look at me crossly and say, "What are you, deaf?" don't be surprised when I say, "Actually, I am partially deaf on that side." At least now I'm happy you're speaking loudly or clearly enough for me to hear you.
- People who tell me to go back where I came from are wasting my time. I have a queue to keep moving, here.
- This exchange happens often:
Customer: You're a long way from home, aren't you?
Me: Oh sure, but I'm really very happy.
C: Are you going back for the holidays?
M: I'm afraid not. It's expensive and my partner and I just want to spend a quiet time here.
C: Don't you miss your family?
At that point sometimes I choke a bit. Yes, I miss my family. I miss them so hard it hurts. Last Christmas I sometimes wondered what kind of fool's errand brought me here and why I didn't just cut my losses when it went to hell a couple of weeks after I got here, but I'm not sorry now. I'm glad I came, I'm glad I stayed and I'm glad things are better. I do miss my family, though, and I could have used their comfort quite a bit this year.
For some customers, they think they're being empathetic and kind, but they can always walk away a minute later (gotta keep that queue moving) and leave me there feeling shitty.
- Waving your hand dismissively can mean many of the following things:
*You're giving a hand signal of negative intent, as in, "No, thank you, I don't want a bag/a gift receipt/to acknowledge your greeting."
*You're giving a hand signal of ambivalence, as in, "Oh, well, jolly good, carry on, never mind me, I'm just gesticulating for the sake of some form of vague effort at communication."
*It's a bit warm in here and you're fanning yourself.
*Your corset is too tight.
*It's raining and you're making an attempt to dry your sodden hair and face.
*You're having an attack of the vapours and you're not sure if the grocery store is an appropriately romantic or fashionable place to faint.
*Something smells and you're trying to dilute the ordure from your range of breathing.
*You can't be arsed to say, "No, thank you, I don't want a bag/a gift receipt/to talk about anything at all."
- Stores run out of things. That's why there are a bunch of happy-looking people out on the floor with baskets on wheels full of food and less happy-looking people running around with phones and clipboards. They know what things are in the store, and if they don't, they can find out. I wouldn't have the foggiest - I work on a till. I scan groceries, weigh vegetables, take money, tell you to enter your pin, please, and ask if you want to take out cash today (because, "Cashback?" is not a word.) If you want to know if something is in stock, it's a good idea to ask those people on the floor. I'm happy to ring my bell and ask someone who comes trotting up if we have more Wensleydale cheese in the warehouse, but I'm not sure if we do myself. This does not make me stupid, and I don't need more training.
My till is made of magic. It tells me the time, how many things I've rung up, how much cash there should be in the till, beeps at me when something's wrong and would even tell me my name (in case I should ever forget) if I follow a series of buttons. It can't tell me when we're receiving stock, though. Don't get me wrong - if you ask me, it's no trouble to find out, but please don't chew on my head with impatience if you waited this long on your travails through the store to find out.
- If someone is wearing a badge that says IN TRAINING, it means they may make a mistake or two. They're trying their hardest, and especially if they're very young, have a little patience, please. If they're really young and they politely ask you to please step aside a little so they can ask their older coworker at another till to verify an alcohol sale, please don't condescend to them.
- Why oh why do people lay a bill on the conveyor belt with the intent of making things easier then they're suprised when they ask, "Where's my money?" while staring pointedly at the belt and I go diving under the till to pick it up from the floor before someone absconds with it? Even worse, why do they blame the cashier for not picking it up fast enough and someone DOES adopt it for their very own or it gets stuck?
- Further to the money issue... if you've been standing there doing whatever whilst I scan and pack your huge grocery order, why can't you have your card or cash at the ready? At least have your purse out of your handbag or something? Two or three minutes is long enough to search through your handbag, unload half of it onto the counter, rifle through months of old receipts, a pack of fags, several tatty grocery bags, a bottle of water, the spare room duvet and your chocolate stash, pull out your purse, go through one compartment, go through another, thumb through 17 outdated vouchers, get cross with me when I tell you they're all outdated and can't be verified, then finally produce a few crisp 20s and then count out the remaining 4.78 in change. Love you too.
Next, please.
That said, I have one shift left and I'm sad to go.
But I have a few tips for anyone queueing in the holiday season or any other time of year:
- Most stores nowadays ask that you either bring your own bags or pay a nominal charge for one. Some stores donate all of the proceeds to an environmental charity, as does ours. So when I ask you if you want a bag, and you say yes, and I scan it in, and you ask me why you're paying 5p for a bag, and I tell you the proceeds go to an environmental charity, please disabuse yourself of the notion that by paying 5p for a bag you are "giving to charity". Then please don't regale me with the history of your generosity and how you don't want to support that particular charity. Most of the time I'll just give you the bag so we don't lose valuable custom (party line) and just so I can get the queue moving (my line) but sometimes the Grinch in me comes out and I wish you luck getting your stuff out of the store without a bag.
- When you are rude to me, I'm well within my rights to print out a layaway slip for your purchases and ring my bell for a manager just to let someone in a higher pay grade deal with you. I may tell you, "Gosh, that's too bad. I had no idea about (insert a problem that I can't do anything about.) I'll give you this layaway slip and you can talk to our manager ____ about it, all right? Thank you! Byyye!" This way I can (see first point) get the queue moving.
- If you insist on talking over your shoulder or barely speaking above a whisper, I'll be very polite to you and say, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that - did you say you wanted a bag?" If you do it again, I'll assume you do because you don't have one with you. If you look at me crossly and say, "What are you, deaf?" don't be surprised when I say, "Actually, I am partially deaf on that side." At least now I'm happy you're speaking loudly or clearly enough for me to hear you.
- People who tell me to go back where I came from are wasting my time. I have a queue to keep moving, here.
- This exchange happens often:
Customer: You're a long way from home, aren't you?
Me: Oh sure, but I'm really very happy.
C: Are you going back for the holidays?
M: I'm afraid not. It's expensive and my partner and I just want to spend a quiet time here.
C: Don't you miss your family?
At that point sometimes I choke a bit. Yes, I miss my family. I miss them so hard it hurts. Last Christmas I sometimes wondered what kind of fool's errand brought me here and why I didn't just cut my losses when it went to hell a couple of weeks after I got here, but I'm not sorry now. I'm glad I came, I'm glad I stayed and I'm glad things are better. I do miss my family, though, and I could have used their comfort quite a bit this year.
For some customers, they think they're being empathetic and kind, but they can always walk away a minute later (gotta keep that queue moving) and leave me there feeling shitty.
- Waving your hand dismissively can mean many of the following things:
*You're giving a hand signal of negative intent, as in, "No, thank you, I don't want a bag/a gift receipt/to acknowledge your greeting."
*You're giving a hand signal of ambivalence, as in, "Oh, well, jolly good, carry on, never mind me, I'm just gesticulating for the sake of some form of vague effort at communication."
*It's a bit warm in here and you're fanning yourself.
*Your corset is too tight.
*It's raining and you're making an attempt to dry your sodden hair and face.
*You're having an attack of the vapours and you're not sure if the grocery store is an appropriately romantic or fashionable place to faint.
*Something smells and you're trying to dilute the ordure from your range of breathing.
*You can't be arsed to say, "No, thank you, I don't want a bag/a gift receipt/to talk about anything at all."
- Stores run out of things. That's why there are a bunch of happy-looking people out on the floor with baskets on wheels full of food and less happy-looking people running around with phones and clipboards. They know what things are in the store, and if they don't, they can find out. I wouldn't have the foggiest - I work on a till. I scan groceries, weigh vegetables, take money, tell you to enter your pin, please, and ask if you want to take out cash today (because, "Cashback?" is not a word.) If you want to know if something is in stock, it's a good idea to ask those people on the floor. I'm happy to ring my bell and ask someone who comes trotting up if we have more Wensleydale cheese in the warehouse, but I'm not sure if we do myself. This does not make me stupid, and I don't need more training.
My till is made of magic. It tells me the time, how many things I've rung up, how much cash there should be in the till, beeps at me when something's wrong and would even tell me my name (in case I should ever forget) if I follow a series of buttons. It can't tell me when we're receiving stock, though. Don't get me wrong - if you ask me, it's no trouble to find out, but please don't chew on my head with impatience if you waited this long on your travails through the store to find out.
- If someone is wearing a badge that says IN TRAINING, it means they may make a mistake or two. They're trying their hardest, and especially if they're very young, have a little patience, please. If they're really young and they politely ask you to please step aside a little so they can ask their older coworker at another till to verify an alcohol sale, please don't condescend to them.
- Why oh why do people lay a bill on the conveyor belt with the intent of making things easier then they're suprised when they ask, "Where's my money?" while staring pointedly at the belt and I go diving under the till to pick it up from the floor before someone absconds with it? Even worse, why do they blame the cashier for not picking it up fast enough and someone DOES adopt it for their very own or it gets stuck?
- Further to the money issue... if you've been standing there doing whatever whilst I scan and pack your huge grocery order, why can't you have your card or cash at the ready? At least have your purse out of your handbag or something? Two or three minutes is long enough to search through your handbag, unload half of it onto the counter, rifle through months of old receipts, a pack of fags, several tatty grocery bags, a bottle of water, the spare room duvet and your chocolate stash, pull out your purse, go through one compartment, go through another, thumb through 17 outdated vouchers, get cross with me when I tell you they're all outdated and can't be verified, then finally produce a few crisp 20s and then count out the remaining 4.78 in change. Love you too.
Next, please.
That said, I have one shift left and I'm sad to go.