INTRODUCTIONS TO THE POST BELOW
(These entries go backwards in time. Entries in the actual POST go forwards in time).
(Tues Oct? 8:30am, in the Year of HOTTESTness): Day 9 of relapse. Difficult recovery continues. However, will prolly be able to go out and get things done - even though recover is incomplete - which means I have to be careful not to force myself too much and so go into ANOTHER relapse - meaning I need to avoid people as much as possible.
Contrast this with the avoidance my relatives show me, at the very time they say they want so much to help. Don't respond to respectful letters or email, turning backs while I am talking, not moving anything along, habitually contradicting every damn thing I say, not paying the tax bill. It's completely criminal. Ignoring my respectful emphasis that my ILLNESS is the problem - not anything else, not money, not cars, not the house, not apartments, not personality, argh! They're like TeaBaggers avoiding the press. Cuz it's the popular thing to do. And, still, the needy imitation continues. One relative who NEVER drank dark beers is now co-opting MY reputation for drinking dark beer - while, when I speak of trying to self-medicate a PAINFUL RELAPSE, there is a Gasp! because, "Tsk, tsk, he's just a hopeless alcoholic!" - Thinking this whilst holding a beer, and suddenly displaying a completely altered personality - after half a beer! It kills me.
HOW DARE YOU INSULT US!
Limbaugh: "I think the Democrats are getting nervous about the elections, which they'll lose, because they KNOW subpoenas are coming!" Subpoenas for WHAT? For a stain on Michelle Obama's dress? Conveniently discovered by some LaBaron-driving Dry-Cleaner in Beijing? He's just imitating what the Liberals said near the end of the illegal BUSH Administration, (which never were served subpoenas!). These people are such incredible bastards - BASTARDISE - the very definition!
We all know that Peter Griffin is a Catholic - no problem, taht's part of the bit. But the Pope comes out and declares that, people don't have to worry, because Homer Simpson and his son are CATHOLIC. Oh, that's so great. (No mention of what the FEMALES are, cuz they don't count). After all the amoral antics; Homer saying at the beginning of a recent show, something like, "We'll be religious, and believe in things that don't exist, etc."; after 20 years of them living in a Protestant Springfield, etc., we get to watch, "The Simpsons," while the Pope is poking his head into our enjoyment, saying, "Pssst! Hey! Homer Simson BELONGS TO US! Your private enjoyment BELONGS TO US."
I don't know what it is about many dysfunctional Catholics, and some atheists-who-WERE-Catholics, they have to try to control everything, passive-aggressively, and if they don't get away with it, they pass moral judgment against you. (E.g., Crazy Gay Guy On Corner). But some dysfunctional Protestants can be bad, too, cuz they have less conscience, and a greater presumption of entitlement. But I don't even know if any of this has anything to do with religion, really. It may simply be part of culture or of dysfunctionalised human nature itself, i.e., Baboonism.
(A note on gold: Gold took a little dive this morning. Gold will fluctuate like this a lot more, now that so many newbies are investing in it, and they don't know what they're doing. They look at it like a regular stock - they are susceptible to fearing that gold is in a much-discussed bubble, which it isn't, at least conventionally speaking. The theory is that Wall Street is climbing, "a wall of worry," until it finally has confidence to soar again, in which case gold will plummit. Not going to happen. Gold will, overall, continue to insanely outperform every other investment and currency for several years to come. The only possible deflation of a gold "bubble" will be deliberate, and there will be signs before that happens).
(You know what's really weird? My relatives and siblings get married and then their spouses take on the same disrespectful crap personality, except when kissing up to each other. And, you know what happens to these inlaws, if they don't save their sanity by divorcing? Their parents die. I swear to god - all their parents die. I'm not talking about nothing here - this is a real problem. I'm talking about life and death here).
"Man Up!", (which actually means "Pair-Up!"). That's what the dominatrix TeaBagger candidates are saying. "Grow some balls!". Well, here's an interesting sideline... The NFL is losing money cuz of the economy, or vice versa. So they now offer "His" sports clothes actually taylored for Her. They wear pink to show solidarity with breast cancer awareness. And so forth. and, even though there is more actual HEAD-BUTTING on the field, players seem show more tolerance for player DEPRESSIONs, because concussions can cause depression. Sounds like enlightenment, right? Not. It's mainly about money. The NFL, and players, like Bret Farv, continue to blame women when it comes to domestic battery. It's the womens' own fault for seeking out football player husbands. These men become even more abusive when their man-cave macho ego is threatened. It's just more of the same crap. And because this chauvinism won't change amongst male viewers across the country, just watch Football ratings take a dive a few years from now, for becoming too gay. War is what we REALLY crave... France would be best, cuz it so gay. Let's play France...
GooNSHOTS IN THE PENTAGON! - (10:am)
You ever really listen to the REM song, "Losing My Religion"? I listened to it last night, and it suddenly didn't sound like a lot of random sentences. It sounded like a guy who really wanted to believe, and he tried for so long - but he just couldn't anymore. Because all the rhetoric and promises of the religion was not backed up by any real love from other believers, in reality. He had been hanging on, hanging on - waiting for that one laugh, that one TRY from the others - that one leap of imagination into LIVING EMPATHY. And it never happens. So, that's why. That's me in the corner...
Baking my potato...
Monday 5:pm INTRO - Day 8 of relapse. Brain recovery - as debilitating and painful as relapse itself. Picked out clothes to finally go out and do things - not able. Was it worth it, a few good hours used up by forcing myself to respect some visiting relative, amidst 2-3 weeks of illness - most of it 100% disability - only to be judged as not-so-sick, based on those few hours? I look forward to garlic bread, and at least I have clothes ready for tomorrow (tues).
Insert: Made another ACTUAL meal - awesome! Garlic bread/ pizza, fancy tomato soup, and cole slaw - timed well, tasted great. (Gluten not so much a problem during low-activity).
Sat 7:30 PM INTRO: This mega-post is not about geopolitics, or such - it is about the link between dysfunctional psychology and the determination of empire to preserve itself - even though doing so, through the phase of fascism, brings about it's own self-destruction. It links my personal experiences and observations to social psychology, economics, and news info about the invasion of privacy, and so forth.
This is day 6 of a severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome relapse. It seems, hopefully, to finally be waning. While I'll, the most I am able to do, is usually just to write into my LJ, while the radio chatters on. (Presently, I am listening to Radio Bucharest). While ill, my thoughts may also be a bit incongruous and negative - less fun and florid than when I am well, which is less and less, these days. My illness has been under a lot of stress lately, and thinking straight has been difficult. Nevertheless, this is a good post. When I am NOT feeling too ill, when I actually CAN write better, I am able to do OTHER things than write, so that's what I do.
CFS REPORT: Today, while functioning was returning, I simply held my breath, and some problems finally relented, and went away. Then, I had to rest, simply to recover from it all. Applying the holding-breath method seems to help, when things aren't too far gone. I need to put all my new CFS observations and ideas into a separate post. So much rest is needed now, to recover. Nothing coming even close to the "rest" experienced by normal folks, within the last week!
Two urges: Now, brownies. Earlier today, deviled eggs. Made an ACTUAL dinner tonight. My self-made Spanish rice, refried beans, correctly steamed asparagus and broccoli, and delicious catfish! (Everything but the beans were bought prior to last Sunday). With all my time DOWN, there are so many simply things which must be attended to: laundry, hygine, cleaning - and things that have been waiting in the fridge to be fixed up and frozen - possibly spoilt by now. Just LIVING takes up all my available time.
"Bye, bye, Space Aliens! Why did you decide to leave?"
"We've learned everything that can be learned from anal-probing..."
Corrections of my links; new, interesting links, or other info, would be appreciated. Here is the post, "ON THE PRESERVATION OF EMPIRE":