Comments | raeosunshine: Intervention

raeosunshine

Intervention

Aug 17, 2009 15:20

Have any of you staged an intervention for a loved one with a severe alcohol/drug problem (or been the one who was intervened)? I know that ideally, the entire family needs to be on board and in the same frame of mind ( Read more... )

Comments 6

minnesotatoast August 17 2009, 21:40:55 UTC

*hugs*
I would say see if you can't find a counselor or someone to facilitate. Experienced professionals would know how to involve your step-father (or not) in the way that is most beneficial to your mom's experience. It may very well be that he has such a negative attitude or expectation that he shouldn't be there.

Good luck.

raeosunshine August 18 2009, 16:07:42 UTC

I've looked into it, and to get a professional interventionist costs thousands of dollars that none of us have. The next best option is finding a counselor of some sort to come in. I'm still working on that end of things. And we definitely are excluding the step-dad.

wodurid August 17 2009, 22:30:35 UTC

and if she continues with the depression and alcohol abuse ..... that too, could cause that very situation where she "loses her job, or we lose the house and the kids end up on the street, or she kills herself."

And NOT having interviened is then your fault.

"Can you live with that?"

And yeah, what Toasty sez.

raeosunshine August 18 2009, 16:10:30 UTC

I know, but I can't rationalize that to him. He's so far gone in the enabler role that he can't see the light of day. Like I told him, I can't one day look back, knowing I could have done something more, and be okay with it.

laserbitch August 18 2009, 03:23:03 UTC

I say that you do it without your asshole step-dad (even if he'll continue the cycle of enablement) because then your mother will know how much you all care about her. And if you ask me, advice and compassion from an ex-addict (misnomer, since you're not really ever over an addiction; you just don't do it anymore) should be MORE potent, since that person knows what it's like: the headspace, the physical need, the depression, the rationale.

Best of luck, love. I think if you do an intervention, it'll be the right thing. You and your siblings will have put your hearts out there and put the ball into her court.

I third the search for an addiction counselor. Someone to help mediate in a non-attached way can only benefit all parties involved.

raeosunshine August 18 2009, 16:14:22 UTC

You're absolutely right. I plan on going to an Al-Anon meeting myself this weekend to get some help for myself, not only as the child of an alcoholic, but as someone who has struggled with substance abuse myself in the past. Even if I can't get her to accept help, I can still help myself.