The (almost) three month update, along with other thoughts.

[ragdollgirl]

There is so much to write about....

Three months almost since we married....and it's a joy and a wonder and a discovery every day it seems! We've pretty much finished moving things around our home, our kitties are all adjusted nicely, and we're learning each other's habits and quirks...and that is interesting in it's own right...

The other things

Comments

[deevadeluxe]

I think it's about survival...and I think people can let things go....but to a point. If letting everything go is going to put you in a precarious situation of going through the same shit again with similar people...then you need to educate yourself as to what messed you up, why it messed you up, and the measures you will go through to make sure you don't have to deal with that shit again. Now, if one is educated enough to be able to reflect on the past, know what they won't tolerate, and then let go of the pain in order to become less bitter and more fulfilled with their lives, then by all means...let it go...let it all go. I think I am somewhere in the middle. I can too easily forget the crap people have done to me, iniviting them to take another round out of me...which I refuse to let happen...so in order to keep me grounded I have to remember at least some of the pain so I don't get myself sucked in again. But I'm honest enough to be real with myself and confront that part of me that needs to be like that and why. This world is

[ladyhawke_wings]

First, dear Beth, I want to tell you that sometimes you really are a hero of mine. I'm so proud of how hard you work to refine yourself!

Second, deevadeluxe pretty much summed up my opinion on the letting go. Sometimes it is necessary to hold on to it if there is no other way to remember. But really, it's much healthier to let it go and I find that those who do are usually much happier.

As to the porn - no, you're not the only one. I feel similarly - if we're under the same roof and you choose to release to porn instead of with me, then there is clearly something not quite right in Jonesville.

[freekofnature]

Wow, that's a tough one, (holding on or letting it go) and it depends so much on the person and the situation...
But in general, I have myself since I was a teen-ager* been of the personal opinion that I cannot afford to hold onto grudges, hatred, and the pain of humiliation and anger that have come my way.

You see, it really destroys you and messes up your life to hold onto all those emotions, even when it was not your fault and there was really nothing YOU could have done to avoid or ameliorate the situation, if you keep holding onto it, it's like giving another victory to the perp over you! And besides, I refuse to be a victim any more and to be victimized again by these memories...
I have learned to let go, faith in a higher power and trust in the ultimate judgment help me to achieve this...

But it is also a truism that, as George Santayana said: "Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

* - Before that, my philosophy was: "Don't get mad, GET EVEN" I've grown up a lot since then...