I am dealing with the fact that I'm afraid to stop bingeing because im afraid to get small and be breakable and vulerable. I am scared of people looking at me and commenting on my body if I allow my weight to regulate. I don't want men to talk about me and there is more than one way to disappear ( Read more... )

 this has been a really really relaxing weekend.  I took a break from school before finals and took off to cincinnati fri-sun with amy.  Last night we went and saw "The Holiday" which is the single cutest romantic comedy i'd seen in my life.  This afternoon, we went ice skating and tonight we are going to a play at a theater company in the city ( Read more... )

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coping cliff notes

anxious. anxious. anxious. anxious.  what to do? binge? purge? cut?    okay okay, i need to deal with this constructively.  where is my paper journal with my coping skills list?  why do these things elude me?  i have them writen down.  okay. i need to process.  i've got to process.  no rocking. i'm in ( Read more... )

Gotta give Carson Daly his props.

Tonight's Joke, parapharsed: Seems like Tom and Katie were suppose to return from their honeymoon today but the spaceship had a bit of trouble re-entering our atomsphere!

sometimes i live too far into my head. i totally spaced night class today. it started at 530. I didn't realize it until 7.

Also, I had to look at my phone to see what day of the week it was.

Nice.

Where the hell am I?

Sometimes I miss the mania....the endless energy.......that comes before the doctor puts you on meds or after you forget to have your prescription refilled. I could certainly use that extra boost right now cuz coffee ain't cuttin' it.

Dear Gen/likeisaid:

Everyone is asking for holiday help concerning recovery and i was wondering if you could do a fresh update/post to the community with those fab. links that you posted for this other gal's entry.  Do you know what I mean?
-J

good link: http://www.margaretcho.com/blog/fuckitdiet.htm

I think that we all feel invinsible. We know the statistics about anorexia related deaths but the truth is that man people that die from an ED had kept it secret so on their death certificates, it says stuff like heart failure. I'm posting this so that maybe it can help us wake up a bit more ( Read more... )

hey ya'll.  im at work.  i decided yesterday to stop writing down everything I eat.  Amy had mentioned that that is the only thing that helps her lose weight and even tho i'm not particularly tryign to lose weight, I decided to do it too and had forgotten how triggering it is to write it all down bc all i want to do is make the list shorter adn ( Read more... )