(Untitled)

[raggedyanndy]

So this is a really awkwardly worded sentence, and if anyone has ideas on how to fix it, I would love to hear them

Comments

[museycaly]

Beyond alienation, the fact that he compares religions belief and romantic love and then says that religious belief requires self-deception to work and that it's less civilized than art, actually reinforces the opposite of his hypothesis to readers who are people of faith.

No idea if this is any better XD

[raggedyanndy]

lol thanks. I was just thinking to myself that I should delete this post since I revised the whole paper and fixed this sentence, but more importantly I also didn't think anyone would actually respond. So thank you!

[museycaly]

Haha, no problem :P so how did it turn out to be?

[raggedyanndy]

Eeehhhh.... it's done.

[krazykat88]

hey, do you mind if I friend you? we're in a couple of the same communities

[endalaust]

Beyond alienation, the fact that he compares religious belief and romantic love--then says that religious belief requires self-deception to work and that, in fact, it is less civilized than art-- actually reinforces the opposite of his hypothesis to readers who are people of faith.

I don't remember the technical term, but this literally puts a sentence within a sentence. And those two dash (in Microsoft Word) should automatically become a long dash, which is the symbol you should use. Also, omitting the "all" helps the flow.