The Care and Feeding of Writers
1. All writers are incredible egotists. Deep down, we are all certain that we are brilliant and unique special snowflakes, and anyone who doesn't like our stuff is insane or deeply jealous.
2. All writers are incredibly insecure. Deep down, we are all certain that we suck like a Dyson on overdrive, and any minute now, the world at large will discover this-or worse, the world at large already knows this, and is snickering behind our backs.
3. No writer likes criticism. Writers who tell you they like concrit are LYING. Even if they smile bravely while you give it to them, inside they are sobbing like a wussy little bitch.
4. All writers need criticism. This does not necessarily mean that you need to be the one to give it to them, especially if you observe the shreds of the last critic's t-shirt stuck between their teeth.
5. All writers are incredibly lazy. They will do anything to put off actually writing something. If you ask a writer what they are doing, and they say "writing," odds are they are actually surfing Overstock.com or looking at babyanimals.
6. All writers are incredibly obssessed. Whether they scribble down notes, text themselves, or just stare into space mumbling a lot, you can bet they're not paying attention to you.
7. Non-pro writers feel guilty about devoting so much time to their 'hobby.'
8. Non-pro writers deeply resent that they can devote so little time to their 'hobby.'
Keeping these simple rules in mind will enable you to prod YOUR writer into action by employing a careful blend of guilt, flattery and cunning! Good luck!
2. All writers are incredibly insecure. Deep down, we are all certain that we suck like a Dyson on overdrive, and any minute now, the world at large will discover this-or worse, the world at large already knows this, and is snickering behind our backs.
3. No writer likes criticism. Writers who tell you they like concrit are LYING. Even if they smile bravely while you give it to them, inside they are sobbing like a wussy little bitch.
4. All writers need criticism. This does not necessarily mean that you need to be the one to give it to them, especially if you observe the shreds of the last critic's t-shirt stuck between their teeth.
5. All writers are incredibly lazy. They will do anything to put off actually writing something. If you ask a writer what they are doing, and they say "writing," odds are they are actually surfing Overstock.com or looking at babyanimals.
6. All writers are incredibly obssessed. Whether they scribble down notes, text themselves, or just stare into space mumbling a lot, you can bet they're not paying attention to you.
7. Non-pro writers feel guilty about devoting so much time to their 'hobby.'
8. Non-pro writers deeply resent that they can devote so little time to their 'hobby.'
Keeping these simple rules in mind will enable you to prod YOUR writer into action by employing a careful blend of guilt, flattery and cunning! Good luck!