Eunhyuk; Hyukjae
Eunhyuk is a part of Hyukjae-not the other way around.
He is like his alter ego, the being that allows Hyukjae to use his full potential as an entertainer. Eunhyuk does things that Hyukjae would have been too shy to even dream of doing. Eunhyuk has no trouble dressing up as a girl or sacrificing himself in order to please his audience.
Sometimes, Hyukjae wishes he could be Eunhyuk.
He wishes that Eunhyuk and Hyukjae could be the same person, but he knows deep inside that it could never happen. They are different people. They belong in different worlds.
Whereas Eunhyuk is loud and outgoing, Hyukjae is shy and soft-spoken. Whereas Eunhyuk has no issue with performing in front of thousands of people, Hyukjae panics with just the thought of it. They are different people, but that’s okay because Eunhyuk is what Hyukjae is very, very deep on the inside.
Eunhyuk is Hyukjae only with all his inhibitions released. The usual feelings holding Hyukjae back from performing disappears once Eunhyuk takes control.
Eunhyuk is Hyukjae but Hyukjae is never Eunhyuk.
Unlike Hyukjae, Eunhyuk could never write sweet song lyrics or choreograph dance routines. Yes, it is Hyukjae who does all the practice and all the hard work as Eunhyuk performs and takes credit for all of it at the end. But Hyukjae never minds because as long as he is acknowledged, he is happy.
While everyone around him-even his family-addresses him by Eunhyuk, Hyukjae is pleased to know that at least one person appreciates him for being who he is. Who Hyukjae is. It’s not that Hyukjae doesn’t like Eunhyuk-he adoresadmiresloves him-but nobody else seems to realize that Eunhyuk is only a fraction of Hyukjae. Hyukjae is proud to known as Eunhyuk; he would never change that fact.
His band members, his family members, every single one of his friends… all of them call him Eunhyuk. Except for one.
Donghae.
He is the only one who understands Hyukjae-not Eunhyuk, but Hyukjae. Fully and wholeheartedly. He acknowledges Hyukjae for who he is and not for the person he shows the camera. Donghae knows Hyukjae’s secret and he accepts him without a single doubt in his mind. And Hyukjae loves him for this.
In public, when all the cameras and fans are around them, Donghae never dares utter the words Hyukjae. It is always, always Eunhyuk. However, every single time Donghae says those words, his eyes darken slightly with a sudden overwhelming sadness. In his heart, Donghae knows that Eunhyuk should not be the one getting all the credit; Hyukjae is the one who has gone through all the hard work. Not Eunhyuk. Never Eunhyuk.
However, in the privacy of their rooms, Donghae never hesitates to say Hyukjae. In fact, he says it so often that it seems like it’s the only thing Donghae can say. And Hyukjae loves him for that. He knows that Donghae puts that extra little effort in to make use of his name at any given time. As though Donghae is afraid that if he doesn’t, he’ll lose the Hyukjae he knows forever.
Hyukjae knows this and feels that his heart will explode if he loves him even more.
Some days, Hyukjae wonders whether or not his closest friends and family notice the slight change in attitude depending on hi s surroundings. Especially those around him on stage.
Do they notice how Hyukjae does not act as loud and outgoing as before? Do they notice the shy smiles Hyukjae gives instead of his usual grin? Do they notice the slight hesitation in his voice when he speaks?
Most of the time, Hyukjae is trapped and Eunhyuk is freed to do his activities. As his schedule gets longer, Hyukjae feels that he gets more and more lost in Eunhyuk. He fears that someday he will forget all about Hyukjae and his values. He fears that someday Hyukjae will be absorbed by Eunhyuk until there’s nothing left of him.
Hyukjae, I love you.
Those are the exact words Eunhyuk has to hear in order to wake up and become Hyukjae again. Those are the exact words Donghae uses after each performance to bring Hyukjae back. And it never fails. No matter how little Hyukjae was feeling compared to Eunhyuk during that day, once he hears those words… he is back, 100 percent whole.
Hyukjae wonders whether Donghae knows exactly how much he means to him. He wonders whether the other knows how much he needs him to survive. He hopes with his I love you, Donghae he can convey all that love and appreciation and affection for the other.
He hopes it’s enough to keep Donghae loving Hyukjae and never Eunhyuk.
On stage, although Eunhyuk feels a tug on his heart whenever he glances at Donghae, he does not love him. Only Hyukjae is capable of loving because Eunhyuk is just a shadow of a human-no heart, no soul-just a container. Hyukjae is where the heart lies. Hyukjae is the one with feelings. Hyukjae is real.
While they perform-or getting interviewed at a press conference even-all Hyukjae has to do to become himself again is force Eunhyuk to look slightly to the side-because Donghae is never far away- and into his eyes. Eunhyuk never protests because he understands the silent contract between them. Hyukjae never tells their secret and Eunhyuk gets to do what he loves best in return. It works out for them.
Eunhyuk has no feelings. He has no thought. The only thing he can do is perform: dancing, rapping, singing, hosting… you name it. But he is only as good as he is because of Hyukjae’s relentless practice and training-for that, Eunhyuk is grateful.
Hyukjae on the other hand, is grateful to Eunhyuk for being able to express what he always wishes he could. He is slightly envious of the other, but more in a proud way. Because Eunhyuk is a part of Hyukjae and not the other way around.
Donghae knows all this and despite it all, he loves Hyukjae with all his heart. He appreciates Eunhyuk for everything he’s done for Hyukjae, but he does not love him. He can tell the difference between them like no one ever could. The only wish he has is that Hyukjae could reveal himself-his true self-to the world. He hates that Hyukjae does all the work as Eunhyuk gains fame.
It sickens him.
To Donghae, performing is everything. Although he is shy and introvert by nature, he opened up little by little to make it big in the music industry. He is grateful for all the hardships he’s been through that got him to this point and although his shyness tends to strike back suddenly at random times, he doesn’t mind one bit.
He only wishes Hyukjae could have done the same thing.
♥♥♥♥♥
“…and the winner is SUPER JUNIOR!” the host of tonight’s award show screams into the microphone, announcing their first win of the night. As a group of thirteen, the members step up to pass the glass award around before it ends up in Eunhyuk’s hands. The members share a quick glance before Leeteuk steps up to say his thanks. Next is Donghae because he dibsed it that morning.
“I want to take this moment to thank my father up in heaven and hope that he greets me with open arms once we are finally reunited. I know he’s watching right now and Dad, I love you. I couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you E.L.F, you are forever in my heart,” Donghae pauses as he glances back at the members, eyes finally landing on Eunhyuk. They stare into each other’s eyes for what seems like an eternity as a breath of a second passes.
It is long enough for Hyukjae to free himself and come back and for Eunhyuk to sink deep into his body-hidden once again.
“I’ve spent long enough time babbling now; I will now pass it on to… Hyukjae.”
If it had been anybody else, nothing would have happened. Hyukjae would have sunk back into his hiding spot as Eunhyuk would have been resurrected and taken control again.
But it wasn’t just anybody. It was Donghae.
With that one, simple word, Eunhyuk is crushed into absolute nothingness. All is left is Hyukjae and only Hyukjae. For a moment, Hyukjae panics as he feels Eunhyuk’s absence-as strongly as though he’d just lost a limb-until his eyes meet with Donghae’s for a second time.
Suddenly, he is filled with confidence, assurance and assertion. But most of all, Hyukjae is overwhelmed with love; something he could only get from Donghae.
As he passes Donghae by to reach the podium, Donghae discreetly squeezes his hand and breaths a quick I love you Hyukjae into the other’s ear.
For the first time in his life, Hyukjae speaks.
♥♥♥♥♥
There , here you guys go ! Just go hit by a sudden inspiration to write~
I've actually had this idea in my head for a loooooooooooooong time and I'm glad I finally wrote it^^
I came out more deep than I had intended, and less fluffy than I had intended, but I really, really like it the way it is now ♥
Thanks for reading~ and I hope you enjoy !
He is like his alter ego, the being that allows Hyukjae to use his full potential as an entertainer. Eunhyuk does things that Hyukjae would have been too shy to even dream of doing. Eunhyuk has no trouble dressing up as a girl or sacrificing himself in order to please his audience.
Sometimes, Hyukjae wishes he could be Eunhyuk.
He wishes that Eunhyuk and Hyukjae could be the same person, but he knows deep inside that it could never happen. They are different people. They belong in different worlds.
Whereas Eunhyuk is loud and outgoing, Hyukjae is shy and soft-spoken. Whereas Eunhyuk has no issue with performing in front of thousands of people, Hyukjae panics with just the thought of it. They are different people, but that’s okay because Eunhyuk is what Hyukjae is very, very deep on the inside.
Eunhyuk is Hyukjae only with all his inhibitions released. The usual feelings holding Hyukjae back from performing disappears once Eunhyuk takes control.
Eunhyuk is Hyukjae but Hyukjae is never Eunhyuk.
Unlike Hyukjae, Eunhyuk could never write sweet song lyrics or choreograph dance routines. Yes, it is Hyukjae who does all the practice and all the hard work as Eunhyuk performs and takes credit for all of it at the end. But Hyukjae never minds because as long as he is acknowledged, he is happy.
While everyone around him-even his family-addresses him by Eunhyuk, Hyukjae is pleased to know that at least one person appreciates him for being who he is. Who Hyukjae is. It’s not that Hyukjae doesn’t like Eunhyuk-he adoresadmiresloves him-but nobody else seems to realize that Eunhyuk is only a fraction of Hyukjae. Hyukjae is proud to known as Eunhyuk; he would never change that fact.
His band members, his family members, every single one of his friends… all of them call him Eunhyuk. Except for one.
Donghae.
He is the only one who understands Hyukjae-not Eunhyuk, but Hyukjae. Fully and wholeheartedly. He acknowledges Hyukjae for who he is and not for the person he shows the camera. Donghae knows Hyukjae’s secret and he accepts him without a single doubt in his mind. And Hyukjae loves him for this.
In public, when all the cameras and fans are around them, Donghae never dares utter the words Hyukjae. It is always, always Eunhyuk. However, every single time Donghae says those words, his eyes darken slightly with a sudden overwhelming sadness. In his heart, Donghae knows that Eunhyuk should not be the one getting all the credit; Hyukjae is the one who has gone through all the hard work. Not Eunhyuk. Never Eunhyuk.
However, in the privacy of their rooms, Donghae never hesitates to say Hyukjae. In fact, he says it so often that it seems like it’s the only thing Donghae can say. And Hyukjae loves him for that. He knows that Donghae puts that extra little effort in to make use of his name at any given time. As though Donghae is afraid that if he doesn’t, he’ll lose the Hyukjae he knows forever.
Hyukjae knows this and feels that his heart will explode if he loves him even more.
Some days, Hyukjae wonders whether or not his closest friends and family notice the slight change in attitude depending on hi s surroundings. Especially those around him on stage.
Do they notice how Hyukjae does not act as loud and outgoing as before? Do they notice the shy smiles Hyukjae gives instead of his usual grin? Do they notice the slight hesitation in his voice when he speaks?
Most of the time, Hyukjae is trapped and Eunhyuk is freed to do his activities. As his schedule gets longer, Hyukjae feels that he gets more and more lost in Eunhyuk. He fears that someday he will forget all about Hyukjae and his values. He fears that someday Hyukjae will be absorbed by Eunhyuk until there’s nothing left of him.
Hyukjae, I love you.
Those are the exact words Eunhyuk has to hear in order to wake up and become Hyukjae again. Those are the exact words Donghae uses after each performance to bring Hyukjae back. And it never fails. No matter how little Hyukjae was feeling compared to Eunhyuk during that day, once he hears those words… he is back, 100 percent whole.
Hyukjae wonders whether Donghae knows exactly how much he means to him. He wonders whether the other knows how much he needs him to survive. He hopes with his I love you, Donghae he can convey all that love and appreciation and affection for the other.
He hopes it’s enough to keep Donghae loving Hyukjae and never Eunhyuk.
On stage, although Eunhyuk feels a tug on his heart whenever he glances at Donghae, he does not love him. Only Hyukjae is capable of loving because Eunhyuk is just a shadow of a human-no heart, no soul-just a container. Hyukjae is where the heart lies. Hyukjae is the one with feelings. Hyukjae is real.
While they perform-or getting interviewed at a press conference even-all Hyukjae has to do to become himself again is force Eunhyuk to look slightly to the side-because Donghae is never far away- and into his eyes. Eunhyuk never protests because he understands the silent contract between them. Hyukjae never tells their secret and Eunhyuk gets to do what he loves best in return. It works out for them.
Eunhyuk has no feelings. He has no thought. The only thing he can do is perform: dancing, rapping, singing, hosting… you name it. But he is only as good as he is because of Hyukjae’s relentless practice and training-for that, Eunhyuk is grateful.
Hyukjae on the other hand, is grateful to Eunhyuk for being able to express what he always wishes he could. He is slightly envious of the other, but more in a proud way. Because Eunhyuk is a part of Hyukjae and not the other way around.
Donghae knows all this and despite it all, he loves Hyukjae with all his heart. He appreciates Eunhyuk for everything he’s done for Hyukjae, but he does not love him. He can tell the difference between them like no one ever could. The only wish he has is that Hyukjae could reveal himself-his true self-to the world. He hates that Hyukjae does all the work as Eunhyuk gains fame.
It sickens him.
To Donghae, performing is everything. Although he is shy and introvert by nature, he opened up little by little to make it big in the music industry. He is grateful for all the hardships he’s been through that got him to this point and although his shyness tends to strike back suddenly at random times, he doesn’t mind one bit.
He only wishes Hyukjae could have done the same thing.
♥♥♥♥♥
“…and the winner is SUPER JUNIOR!” the host of tonight’s award show screams into the microphone, announcing their first win of the night. As a group of thirteen, the members step up to pass the glass award around before it ends up in Eunhyuk’s hands. The members share a quick glance before Leeteuk steps up to say his thanks. Next is Donghae because he dibsed it that morning.
“I want to take this moment to thank my father up in heaven and hope that he greets me with open arms once we are finally reunited. I know he’s watching right now and Dad, I love you. I couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you E.L.F, you are forever in my heart,” Donghae pauses as he glances back at the members, eyes finally landing on Eunhyuk. They stare into each other’s eyes for what seems like an eternity as a breath of a second passes.
It is long enough for Hyukjae to free himself and come back and for Eunhyuk to sink deep into his body-hidden once again.
“I’ve spent long enough time babbling now; I will now pass it on to… Hyukjae.”
If it had been anybody else, nothing would have happened. Hyukjae would have sunk back into his hiding spot as Eunhyuk would have been resurrected and taken control again.
But it wasn’t just anybody. It was Donghae.
With that one, simple word, Eunhyuk is crushed into absolute nothingness. All is left is Hyukjae and only Hyukjae. For a moment, Hyukjae panics as he feels Eunhyuk’s absence-as strongly as though he’d just lost a limb-until his eyes meet with Donghae’s for a second time.
Suddenly, he is filled with confidence, assurance and assertion. But most of all, Hyukjae is overwhelmed with love; something he could only get from Donghae.
As he passes Donghae by to reach the podium, Donghae discreetly squeezes his hand and breaths a quick I love you Hyukjae into the other’s ear.
For the first time in his life, Hyukjae speaks.
♥♥♥♥♥
There , here you guys go ! Just go hit by a sudden inspiration to write~
I've actually had this idea in my head for a loooooooooooooong time and I'm glad I finally wrote it^^
I came out more deep than I had intended, and less fluffy than I had intended, but I really, really like it the way it is now ♥
Thanks for reading~ and I hope you enjoy !