=D
Dear President Bush,
Today you called upon Congress to move quickly to
amend the US Constitution, and set in Federal
stone a legal definition of marriage. I would
like to know why.
In your speech, you stated that this Amendment
would serve to protect marriage in America, which
I must confess confuses me. Like you, I believe
in the importance of marriage and I feel that we
as a society take the institution far too
lightly. In my circle of family, friends and
acquaintances, the vast majority have married and
divorced - some more than once. Still, I believe
in marriage. I believe that there is something
fundamental about finding another person on this
planet with whom you want to build a life and
family, and make a positive contribution to
society. I believe that we need more positive
role models for successful marriage in this
country - something to counteract the images we
get bombarded with in popular culture. When we
are assaulted with images of celebrities of
varying genres, be it actors, sports figures,
socialites, or even politicians who shrug
marriage on and off like the latest fashion, it
is vitally important to the face of our nation,
for our children and our future, that we have a
balance of commitment and fidelity with which to
stave off the negativity. I search for these
examples to show my own daughter, so that she can
see that marriage is more than a disposable whim,
despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
As a father, I'm sure you have faced these same
concerns and difficulties in raising your own
daughters. Therefore I can also imagine that you
must understand how thrilled I have been over the
past few weeks to come home and turn on the news
with my family. To finally have concrete examples
of true commitment, honest love, and steadfast
fidelity was such a relief and a joy. Instead of
speaking in the hypothetical, I was finally able
to point to these men and women, standing
together for hours in the pouring rain, and tell
my child that this is what its all about. Forget
Britney. Forget Kobe. Forget Strom. Forget about
all the people that we know who have taken so
frivolously the pure and simple beauty of love
and tarnished it so consistently. Look instead at
the joy in the beautiful faces of Del Martin and
Phyllis Lyon �51 years together! I mean,
honestly Mr. President - how many couples do you
know who are together for 51 years? I'm sure you
agree that this love story provides a wonderful
opportunity to teach our children about the true
meaning and value of marriage. On the steps of
San Francisco City Hall, rose petals and
champagne, suits and veils, horns honking and
elation in the streets; a celebration of love the
likes of which this society has never seen.
This morning, however, my joy turned to sadness,
my relief transformed into outrage, and my peace
became anger. This morning, I watched you stand
before this nation and belittle these women, the
thousands who stood with them, and the countless
millions who wish to follow them. How could you
do that, Mr. President? How could you take
something so beautiful - a clear and defining
example of the true nature of commitment - and
declare it to be anything less? What is it that
validates your marriage which somehow doesn't
apply to Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon? By what
power, what authority are you so divinely imbued
that you can stand before me and this nation and
hold their love to a higher standard?
Don't speak to me about homosexuality, Mr.
President. Don't tell me that the difference lies
in the bedroom. I would never presume to ask you
or your wife how it is you choose to physically
express your love for one another, and I defy you
to stand before Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon and
ask them to do the same. It is none of my
business, as it is none of yours, and it has
nothing to do with the "sanctity of marriage".
I'm sure you would agree that marriage is far
more than sexual expression, and its high time we
all started focusing on all the other aspects of
a relationship which hold it together over the
course of a lifetime. Therefore, with the
mechanics of sex set aside, I ask you again -
what makes a marriage? I firmly believe that
whatever definition you derive, there are
thousands upon thousands of shining examples for
you to embrace.
You want to protect marriage. I admire and
support that, Mr. President. Together, as a
nation, let us find and celebrate examples of
what a marriage should be. Together, let us take
couples who embody the principles of commitment,
fidelity, sacrifice and love, and hold them up
before our children as role models for their own
futures. Together, let us reinforce the concept
that love is about far more than sex, despite
what popular culture would like them to believe.
Please, for the sake of our children, for the
sake of our society, for the sake of our future,
do not take us down this road. Under the guise of
protection, do not support divisiveness. Under
the guise of unity, do not endorse
discrimination. Under the guise of sanctity, do
not devalue commitment. Under the guise of
democracy, do not encourage this amendment.
Bette Midler
Today you called upon Congress to move quickly to
amend the US Constitution, and set in Federal
stone a legal definition of marriage. I would
like to know why.
In your speech, you stated that this Amendment
would serve to protect marriage in America, which
I must confess confuses me. Like you, I believe
in the importance of marriage and I feel that we
as a society take the institution far too
lightly. In my circle of family, friends and
acquaintances, the vast majority have married and
divorced - some more than once. Still, I believe
in marriage. I believe that there is something
fundamental about finding another person on this
planet with whom you want to build a life and
family, and make a positive contribution to
society. I believe that we need more positive
role models for successful marriage in this
country - something to counteract the images we
get bombarded with in popular culture. When we
are assaulted with images of celebrities of
varying genres, be it actors, sports figures,
socialites, or even politicians who shrug
marriage on and off like the latest fashion, it
is vitally important to the face of our nation,
for our children and our future, that we have a
balance of commitment and fidelity with which to
stave off the negativity. I search for these
examples to show my own daughter, so that she can
see that marriage is more than a disposable whim,
despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
As a father, I'm sure you have faced these same
concerns and difficulties in raising your own
daughters. Therefore I can also imagine that you
must understand how thrilled I have been over the
past few weeks to come home and turn on the news
with my family. To finally have concrete examples
of true commitment, honest love, and steadfast
fidelity was such a relief and a joy. Instead of
speaking in the hypothetical, I was finally able
to point to these men and women, standing
together for hours in the pouring rain, and tell
my child that this is what its all about. Forget
Britney. Forget Kobe. Forget Strom. Forget about
all the people that we know who have taken so
frivolously the pure and simple beauty of love
and tarnished it so consistently. Look instead at
the joy in the beautiful faces of Del Martin and
Phyllis Lyon �51 years together! I mean,
honestly Mr. President - how many couples do you
know who are together for 51 years? I'm sure you
agree that this love story provides a wonderful
opportunity to teach our children about the true
meaning and value of marriage. On the steps of
San Francisco City Hall, rose petals and
champagne, suits and veils, horns honking and
elation in the streets; a celebration of love the
likes of which this society has never seen.
This morning, however, my joy turned to sadness,
my relief transformed into outrage, and my peace
became anger. This morning, I watched you stand
before this nation and belittle these women, the
thousands who stood with them, and the countless
millions who wish to follow them. How could you
do that, Mr. President? How could you take
something so beautiful - a clear and defining
example of the true nature of commitment - and
declare it to be anything less? What is it that
validates your marriage which somehow doesn't
apply to Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon? By what
power, what authority are you so divinely imbued
that you can stand before me and this nation and
hold their love to a higher standard?
Don't speak to me about homosexuality, Mr.
President. Don't tell me that the difference lies
in the bedroom. I would never presume to ask you
or your wife how it is you choose to physically
express your love for one another, and I defy you
to stand before Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon and
ask them to do the same. It is none of my
business, as it is none of yours, and it has
nothing to do with the "sanctity of marriage".
I'm sure you would agree that marriage is far
more than sexual expression, and its high time we
all started focusing on all the other aspects of
a relationship which hold it together over the
course of a lifetime. Therefore, with the
mechanics of sex set aside, I ask you again -
what makes a marriage? I firmly believe that
whatever definition you derive, there are
thousands upon thousands of shining examples for
you to embrace.
You want to protect marriage. I admire and
support that, Mr. President. Together, as a
nation, let us find and celebrate examples of
what a marriage should be. Together, let us take
couples who embody the principles of commitment,
fidelity, sacrifice and love, and hold them up
before our children as role models for their own
futures. Together, let us reinforce the concept
that love is about far more than sex, despite
what popular culture would like them to believe.
Please, for the sake of our children, for the
sake of our society, for the sake of our future,
do not take us down this road. Under the guise of
protection, do not support divisiveness. Under
the guise of unity, do not endorse
discrimination. Under the guise of sanctity, do
not devalue commitment. Under the guise of
democracy, do not encourage this amendment.
Bette Midler