poets against the world

[rain_streaked]

remember how one summer you and i took to the road, watching horizons stretch before us like lines out of every untold story, windows down because we couldn't afford a bright red convertible, and how we'd have to shout to be heard over the whip-thin sounds of the wind? remember remember, we'd stop the car in the middle of a desert and sit

Comments

[wmelon_kaiye]

I'm unsure about the origins of this piece so I won't comment on the content. However, I just wanted to say that it moved me to tears.

[rain_streaked]

♥ Thank you.

[duckwinds]

Sarah, amazing... whether this is based on real-life events or not, it reads and feels so real which only shows what a good writer you are. I like it that you don't rely on adjectives to bring to life a scene and yet I can still visualize it. I'm liking this non-work break if you continue to write like this :-)

[rain_streaked]

Thank you! ♥ I've been trying to tone down on the use of adverbs and adjectives, but it's tough. @_@

[rain_streaked]

:D yay! I was kind of worried that it'd be too weighed down with description, so I tried to cut back on the adjectives/adverbs. :/ which became too many verbs, but oh well. And there's a difference between being still and being stagnant, and your writing is like "still waters run deep", not like "omg there are mosquitoes breeding in this water". :D

[rain_streaked]

mosquitoes

in the summer
mosquitoes sing me to sleep,
humming war songs
each flap of its wings
a death knell.

in the summer
my dreams are preluded by
the weakest of violences.
as i breathe soft
(in, out, in, out)
battles are waged and won
against and upon
my flesh.