here. read. enjoy. judge. then glady comment if you wish. or fuck off.
listen people, we understand that the taking over his lj thing is stupid, hello that is the motherfucking point, it is just inconvinient, not cruel. big deal who gives a shit about the lj thing? thats not the issue thanks for not looking a little deeper. let me help you here.
heather and i were the best friends to him anyone could ever have. we have given him shelter,food,cigarettes and countless emotional support. we have done nothing but worry about him, try to help him, and love him. her parents took him in! my mother got his car back because it got towed and he couldnt! had we ever asked for any compensation? NO. so we give and give and give. not that he wasnt a great friend, he was, thats why we gave all we could.
then:
we move here. and none of you know how it is if you live at home then shut up dont tell me anything im saying is wrong. were here for 4 motherfucking months, helping him when he needed it cause i would have given anything to help him or any of my friends for that matter and i dont want it back, all i ask for is the friendship and respect, and walk all over me i dont care. he had no job, he didnt even want to attempt to get one. hes getting evicted we hear, and i felt so helpless cause i couldnt help. heather and i are especially devestated. cody does nothing to save himself, wanting to believe his parents will help. then one day, i suggest we clean. heather and i go out, ryan joins, and tells us cody will be "taking a nap, convieniently" when were cleaning.
well as you americans say, that was the straw that broke the camels back.
hmm camel time for a cig. anyways,
we get angry. i mean come one theres only so much you can take before you get fed up, wake up and realize youre being used-or atleast feel like you are. tell me im wrong, ill tell you youre a fool because you dont want to see that truth.
and oh how to approach him. since cody acts like hes being atacked whenever you try to talk to him about something he has done, we didnt want to do that. and since he made the above bitchy comment,we though we woul be bitchy back. cue kittie at full blast because we get home and hes "asleep". we go into his room after a bit to get the 2349283492374037 towels he had in there, and he proceeds to kick heather, because he "woke up".
BULLSHIT. the dead couldnt sleep through that volume of music. he kicked her. what the fuck is that? um, WRONG,CHILDISH,VIOLENTLY STUPID come to mind.
next, we get his attention throwing mulch at his window, bc god forbid we both come up to him to talk and he feels so attacked. we didnt want that, so we opted for the lazy were outside smoking method that we used on eachother plenty of times before. he proceeds to lock us out,(after we cleaned the house and ryan left did i mention?) after us wailing upon the door he lets us in and says "why are you being such bitches?" and we reply in a very we just want to talk you were the bitch first way, then the famous line:
to heather "im going to hit you." and i assured him he wasnt, and he said it right back to me. hah well, um NO. next an argument because he is YELLING,CURSING,CRYING,NOT LISTENING,OVER REACTING OH AND NOT TO FORGET THREATENING TO BEAT US UP FOR THE NEXT HALF HOUR OR SO. also hes in our faces yelling,grabbing,cornering us for no reason.
why? why did he do that? it was ridiculous...to us? not only two of his supposed best friends, but us being females as well. any man fuck it anyone threatening his friends is a low,disrespectful scumbag fuck. call me old fashioned as well, but a man doing it to women is worst, on top of it women he loved, even worse a boy who is plagued with memories of his own mother being treated that way. i cannot fathom why he would do that to us,when he hates it done to his own mother. fuck we annoyed him that day, yes we did,as he did, but disrespect him like that? no. never.
NOT RIGHT,NOT FAIR, NON DESERVING TO US.
even more, he never talked to us about it after that, no apologies no nothing at all. he felt awkward fine but he should have stepped down, been a man and apologized for it. it was wrong god damnit. he couldnt even try to pretend to talk it out, and if he had i know maybe our friendships wouldnt be the same, he went to far for that, but he could have been forgiven and civil.
then he gets involved in something thats not his business, what i said to neri is between me and her. and she knows i have said it before and she knows i said it with the best of intentions, and why i said it so harshly, yet she let him into it, and never talked to me about it. thats a different story though. o dont care that theyre friends. great that they have eachother for comfort. do i think they are good for eachother? no. both to unbalances,emotionally disorientated,superficial to balance the other, but fuck as long as im not there not my problem. he is using her, and shes letting him so yay for them. honestly it killed two birds with one stone, cody who disrespected heather and i to an ugly extent and neri who was just someone ungrateful.
you see theyre both the same to me,wannabe mature,manipulating,leeches who use people and are ungrateful for what they have and constantly bitch about what they dont have. im a bitch yes, but i was the best fucking friend to him and even her, the one who was there, who tried to help,not hurt, i wasted so much time concerned for them and i get slapped in the face instead of appreciated. fuck i cant take it, i wont. so i took the lj? so motherfucking what? not like i insulted him, i said nothing about his family or anything, i didnt burn his shit, hes lying, exagerating to others to manipulte them into pitying him, oh poor poor cody. why continue taking lj? because its one way to make him know im here, attempts at making a point, since his communication levels have always been sub par. oh and because hes a dickhead and we can. how painful,cruel,torturing i know. were just so horrible compared to this angel, oh why havent we been smited by almighty god?! who shall protect him from the lj thieving soul-less bastards we are? fuck that who will protect him from himself.
i am not a worthless piece of shit, i am not the worst friend ever. he is wrong and that didnt hurt me.
bringing up my dead grandmother, them comparing her to neri and her situation? that was the lowest blow. my grandmother was a saint, neither cody or neri should have the FUCKING RIGHT TO EVEN WHISPER HER NAME IN THE DARK. worse he knew what she meant and then decided to take the blow anyways. that hurt. his analogy made no sense but the FACT that he used her to try to hurt me was low. so did i compare his mother to neri? yep. and did it make sense? you betcha. but had i menioned it before? no. and never again. but he understood. because he and neri are the type who need to need to be pissed to listen sometimes. oh yes. for one instance i sank down to his level, because i was hurt and not thinking, but never before and never again.
so who forgot that we were friends? me, cause i took his lj and have tried to make him understand through it? i didnt want christina or jess or drew to react, i wanted HIM to. but fuck he cant even communicate through this. he hasnt even asked me why or to stop. who says that its not that easy? would he have time to ask anyways, busily making up new hyperboles to tell people? who forgot? threats,insults,low blows at dead relatives,telling lies.
i think its him. definately.
i refuse to be walked upon, i refuse to be used.
and
i refuse to be ignored.
typed by jacky, representing 1014.