Weirdo dreams
Just a weird dream I had last night.
I just had the most messed up, vivid dream. As usual, with dreams, I don’t remember everything now tht I’ve been awake for about a half hour, but I have to get down what I can remember. Before I start this, for those of you that don’t know…. I’m not obsessed with Jared Leto. I don’t *squee* everytime I see him. I don’t love him and I definitely don’t want his babies. But I respect the hell out of him as an artist (in all forms).
I was at this lake with a whole fuckload of other 30 Seconds To Mars fans AND an even bigger fuckload of non-believers. Apparently there was some sort of award ceremony that was going to take place in a few hours. Jared had gathered quite a few of us into this little cabin where he had printed out ballot forms that said something to the effect of “I vote for Jared Leto for” blahblahblah whatever it was now. We could fill out as many as we wanted as long as we had them turned in at a certain time. So I’m sitting at this little table filling away with this girl, whom was apparently my friend, sitting next to me and we’re just chatting. Well, in walks the man himself and his girlfriend apparently. LOL The tension in the air just gets thick and this girl is getting the evil eye. But she lets it roll off her back and sits down to fill out a few forms herself. Jared heads in the back to…do Jared things, whatever that may be. So my “friend” just starts being really nasty to this girl. Questioning her and her motives and being really protective of Jared. I’m listening, not saying anything, when I realize that this girl is the real deal. She’s not in this relationship with Jared for the money or the fame. She genuinely cares about him. So I pipe in and tell everyone to knock it off and to leave the girl alone. I lean over and say something profound to the girl (I can’t for the life of me remember what I actually said) and she gets this look of relief on her face and she just lights up and says, “Thank you.”
Not long after that, Jared comes out and tells everyone that they need to finish filling out their cards that he’s going to personally take them over to the booth to get counted. He wants to “win this motherfucker” and doesn’t trust anyone else to deliver the ballots that he himself had made up. We all drop our forms into this box thing and I’m hanging to the side of the cabin waiting to see what everyone else is gonna do. Well, Jared grabs the box and heads on his merry way, leaving his girlfriend behind. After the beating she took earlier, she’s kind of looking frightened and clearly trying to blend into the wall. She eases over to me and thanks me again for whatever I said and asks if I want to be her bodyguard in a joking manner while Jared is gone. I say sure, cause I’m just nice like that and we end up chatting and it turns out she’s really a nice girl and we have a lot in common.
Everyone eventually moves outside as it gets closer to time for the awards to be handed out. There are 30STM banners flying everywhere around this cabin and everyone is dressed in full white. It’s quite an amazing sight to see. Somewhat in formation we make our way over to the stage to watch the awards being given. A bunch of boring crap and then they hand out the award that Jared was nominated for. He, of course, won because 30stm fans rule hardcore. As many of us as there were, though, there were twice as many that hated him there. Our cheers were drowned out by jeers (and not very pleasant ones). Jared doesn’t let it bother him, though. He’s just won this award that he wanted and is high on life.
He starts the march back to the 30STM cabin and invites everyone to this…gymnasium, I guess for a party to celebrate our victory and for a few songs from the band. He approaches me as I start to leave to find my friend so we can head to this place when Jared stops me. “Hey, I heard what you said earlier. I just wanted to thank you. She’s a great girl and doesn’t deserve to be treated like they were treating her.” Me: “I know, Jared. I could tell from the way she handled herself and the answers she gave. She’s the real deal. And anyone that truly was trying to protect you would have seen that and would want you to be happy.” Jared: “*cheesy grin* I like you. What’s your name? She likes you, too. You should come hang out with us tonight.” Me: “Thanks. I’m Shawna. I like both of you, too. I’ll be there tonight for sure.” Jared: “No, I meant come hang out with us after the party. I think the guys would like to meet you.” Me: “Oh. Uh. Well. Alright. Thanks.” Yeah, bumbling idiot.
So I end up riding to the gymnasium with them and we’re just getting along wonderfully. Jared has blown me away with how smart he is and I’m just fascinated with his brain. I respected him before, but after having had a 45 minute conversation with him in the car… I’m inspired by him. I’m in awe of him. I supported him and the band because I believed, but before I had a love/hate view of him. I hated the fact that he was so popular and he just seemed like a complete arrogant prick. But I loved his vision (or what I took his vision to be).
We go into the gymnasium and it’s just immaculately decorated. 30stm gear everywhere. Flags flying, banners hanging on every wall. A sea of white, as if we’re all one giant entity. There’s a small stage set up on one end and a spread of snacks at the other end. Jared, his girlfriend (who never got a name in my dream) and I went back to the locker room where the guys were waiting to make their entrance. I don’t remember much from this but it was just a lot of fun and celebration and…unity, ironically enough (if you don’t know the band or have never been to the message boards you won’t understand why that’s ironic.).
Anyway, after the festivities, I rode back to this freaking amazing hotel suite that was more like a 13 room mansion. There were seriously like 8 bedrooms and the bathrooms were bigger than my whole house. The guys insisted that I stay, at least for a while. We started playing cards and drinking a little bit and just shooting the shit. The sun started to rise and everyone started to head to bed. Matt insisted that I take a room instead of driving (LOLZ) home. I didn’t argue too much, since I was whipped. Sleep.
I wake up to this…sound….mass confusion and hysteria. At first, in my sleep induced haze, I think there’s a fire. So I’m pulling on my clothes and grabbing my purse ready to run out of the nearest fire exit. I open the bedroom door and everyone is crying hysterically. Shannon and Jared’s gf are hugging each other and just sobbing. Tomo, Matt, Buck, Flip and Dave are standing off to the sides of the room each with tears streaming down their faces. Tomo comes over to me and tells me the bad news. Jared’s been murdered. He’s dead. What? It can’t be! I shove past him and run into the bedroom I saw Jared go into last night. The breath leaves my body and a sickness rolls over me. There he is laying on the bed, in pieces, covered in blood. He’s staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, his mouth hanging open as if in protest. Yes, I said in pieces. Decapitation, arms, legs all separated from his body. It was one of the most gruesome things I’ve ever seen and that’s saying something with my love of horror movies.
I hear this scream and at first I didn’t know who it was coming from. But it was coming from me. Matt and Tomo rush into the room and practically drag me out. I’m now completely limp and I slump to the floor. I had just learned what the real Jared Leto was like and now he’s gone. His brilliance and unique personality have been taken from everyone who might benefit from them. Shannon is left alone without his brother. I know what kind of devastation that’s going to cause for him. They are closer than any two siblings I’ve ever met.
All of the sounds start to fade. I’m leaning against this white couch with my head in my hands, sobbing over a man that I barely knew myself. But I knew he was a great man and that the people that were in the room with me were suffering. My vision blurs and everything turns to white.
I wake up in a hotel room exactly like the one Jared was in. I don’t know how I know, but I do know that several years have passed. I’m in the exact room where I last saw Jared. The bed has changed, the wall color has changed and the painting above the bed has changed. But there is a feeling in this room. His energy is still there. I pull the blankets up around my neck as a shiver passes over me. I feel…completely at peace. Then I woke up. The end.
I'm afraid to know what Freud would say about this dream. =\
I just had the most messed up, vivid dream. As usual, with dreams, I don’t remember everything now tht I’ve been awake for about a half hour, but I have to get down what I can remember. Before I start this, for those of you that don’t know…. I’m not obsessed with Jared Leto. I don’t *squee* everytime I see him. I don’t love him and I definitely don’t want his babies. But I respect the hell out of him as an artist (in all forms).
I was at this lake with a whole fuckload of other 30 Seconds To Mars fans AND an even bigger fuckload of non-believers. Apparently there was some sort of award ceremony that was going to take place in a few hours. Jared had gathered quite a few of us into this little cabin where he had printed out ballot forms that said something to the effect of “I vote for Jared Leto for” blahblahblah whatever it was now. We could fill out as many as we wanted as long as we had them turned in at a certain time. So I’m sitting at this little table filling away with this girl, whom was apparently my friend, sitting next to me and we’re just chatting. Well, in walks the man himself and his girlfriend apparently. LOL The tension in the air just gets thick and this girl is getting the evil eye. But she lets it roll off her back and sits down to fill out a few forms herself. Jared heads in the back to…do Jared things, whatever that may be. So my “friend” just starts being really nasty to this girl. Questioning her and her motives and being really protective of Jared. I’m listening, not saying anything, when I realize that this girl is the real deal. She’s not in this relationship with Jared for the money or the fame. She genuinely cares about him. So I pipe in and tell everyone to knock it off and to leave the girl alone. I lean over and say something profound to the girl (I can’t for the life of me remember what I actually said) and she gets this look of relief on her face and she just lights up and says, “Thank you.”
Not long after that, Jared comes out and tells everyone that they need to finish filling out their cards that he’s going to personally take them over to the booth to get counted. He wants to “win this motherfucker” and doesn’t trust anyone else to deliver the ballots that he himself had made up. We all drop our forms into this box thing and I’m hanging to the side of the cabin waiting to see what everyone else is gonna do. Well, Jared grabs the box and heads on his merry way, leaving his girlfriend behind. After the beating she took earlier, she’s kind of looking frightened and clearly trying to blend into the wall. She eases over to me and thanks me again for whatever I said and asks if I want to be her bodyguard in a joking manner while Jared is gone. I say sure, cause I’m just nice like that and we end up chatting and it turns out she’s really a nice girl and we have a lot in common.
Everyone eventually moves outside as it gets closer to time for the awards to be handed out. There are 30STM banners flying everywhere around this cabin and everyone is dressed in full white. It’s quite an amazing sight to see. Somewhat in formation we make our way over to the stage to watch the awards being given. A bunch of boring crap and then they hand out the award that Jared was nominated for. He, of course, won because 30stm fans rule hardcore. As many of us as there were, though, there were twice as many that hated him there. Our cheers were drowned out by jeers (and not very pleasant ones). Jared doesn’t let it bother him, though. He’s just won this award that he wanted and is high on life.
He starts the march back to the 30STM cabin and invites everyone to this…gymnasium, I guess for a party to celebrate our victory and for a few songs from the band. He approaches me as I start to leave to find my friend so we can head to this place when Jared stops me. “Hey, I heard what you said earlier. I just wanted to thank you. She’s a great girl and doesn’t deserve to be treated like they were treating her.” Me: “I know, Jared. I could tell from the way she handled herself and the answers she gave. She’s the real deal. And anyone that truly was trying to protect you would have seen that and would want you to be happy.” Jared: “*cheesy grin* I like you. What’s your name? She likes you, too. You should come hang out with us tonight.” Me: “Thanks. I’m Shawna. I like both of you, too. I’ll be there tonight for sure.” Jared: “No, I meant come hang out with us after the party. I think the guys would like to meet you.” Me: “Oh. Uh. Well. Alright. Thanks.” Yeah, bumbling idiot.
So I end up riding to the gymnasium with them and we’re just getting along wonderfully. Jared has blown me away with how smart he is and I’m just fascinated with his brain. I respected him before, but after having had a 45 minute conversation with him in the car… I’m inspired by him. I’m in awe of him. I supported him and the band because I believed, but before I had a love/hate view of him. I hated the fact that he was so popular and he just seemed like a complete arrogant prick. But I loved his vision (or what I took his vision to be).
We go into the gymnasium and it’s just immaculately decorated. 30stm gear everywhere. Flags flying, banners hanging on every wall. A sea of white, as if we’re all one giant entity. There’s a small stage set up on one end and a spread of snacks at the other end. Jared, his girlfriend (who never got a name in my dream) and I went back to the locker room where the guys were waiting to make their entrance. I don’t remember much from this but it was just a lot of fun and celebration and…unity, ironically enough (if you don’t know the band or have never been to the message boards you won’t understand why that’s ironic.).
Anyway, after the festivities, I rode back to this freaking amazing hotel suite that was more like a 13 room mansion. There were seriously like 8 bedrooms and the bathrooms were bigger than my whole house. The guys insisted that I stay, at least for a while. We started playing cards and drinking a little bit and just shooting the shit. The sun started to rise and everyone started to head to bed. Matt insisted that I take a room instead of driving (LOLZ) home. I didn’t argue too much, since I was whipped. Sleep.
I wake up to this…sound….mass confusion and hysteria. At first, in my sleep induced haze, I think there’s a fire. So I’m pulling on my clothes and grabbing my purse ready to run out of the nearest fire exit. I open the bedroom door and everyone is crying hysterically. Shannon and Jared’s gf are hugging each other and just sobbing. Tomo, Matt, Buck, Flip and Dave are standing off to the sides of the room each with tears streaming down their faces. Tomo comes over to me and tells me the bad news. Jared’s been murdered. He’s dead. What? It can’t be! I shove past him and run into the bedroom I saw Jared go into last night. The breath leaves my body and a sickness rolls over me. There he is laying on the bed, in pieces, covered in blood. He’s staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, his mouth hanging open as if in protest. Yes, I said in pieces. Decapitation, arms, legs all separated from his body. It was one of the most gruesome things I’ve ever seen and that’s saying something with my love of horror movies.
I hear this scream and at first I didn’t know who it was coming from. But it was coming from me. Matt and Tomo rush into the room and practically drag me out. I’m now completely limp and I slump to the floor. I had just learned what the real Jared Leto was like and now he’s gone. His brilliance and unique personality have been taken from everyone who might benefit from them. Shannon is left alone without his brother. I know what kind of devastation that’s going to cause for him. They are closer than any two siblings I’ve ever met.
All of the sounds start to fade. I’m leaning against this white couch with my head in my hands, sobbing over a man that I barely knew myself. But I knew he was a great man and that the people that were in the room with me were suffering. My vision blurs and everything turns to white.
I wake up in a hotel room exactly like the one Jared was in. I don’t know how I know, but I do know that several years have passed. I’m in the exact room where I last saw Jared. The bed has changed, the wall color has changed and the painting above the bed has changed. But there is a feeling in this room. His energy is still there. I pull the blankets up around my neck as a shiver passes over me. I feel…completely at peace. Then I woke up. The end.
I'm afraid to know what Freud would say about this dream. =\