i was thinking that i have spent so much time trying NOT to be certain things, that i dont have a clus of what i really am ( Read more... )

im gay and dont know how to bold them, so i erased the ones that werent true. sorry stephie ( Read more... )

walter is officially living in p.a now. an hour drive each way. not that bad. but when i either work or have college, i dont have time to drive up to see him ( Read more... )

i want to feel real love again ( Read more... )

i got a job at fashion bug. six shitty dollars an hour. it fucking sucks. i start tomorrow ( Read more... )

so i went to hammerjacks with cyndi and a few other people last saturday night. and i have learned two things: 1. guys are sexual pigs, and 2. girls are always willing to degrade themselves. i hated it. every minute. i cant understand how people can go there and have a good time dancing, i.e. rubbing their ass on some random drooling guys dick ( Read more... )

so today was my first day of college. fun, i guess. they let us out of every class like 15 minutes early, and we have 15 minutes between each class normally. perfect to fit a cigarette in ( Read more... )

tomorrow college starts. im kind of glad. i need people that have some sort of intellegence to converse with. these people lately dont understand anything ( Read more... )

so i keep having these terriblly strange dreams. like one where i shot my sister in the head and the hospital gave her eyedrops. or the work rape one. or the one where all my teeth were falling out. or the one where walters family gets shot up. so last night consisted of johnna and i kissing ravenously for a good part while other things are ( Read more... )

so walters mom is desperately trying to break us up. and its working. im tired of being so stressed out and upset because his family yells at me when walter fucks up. it just doesnt seem worth it to go though all this shit. but i know that breaking up with him would kill him, he cries when i mention us breaking up. he says hes in love with me. ( Read more... )