Skip this if you know what's good for you
Wow. I haven't posted in ages, and when I do, it's Glee fic. Which, note, I haven't written fic in ages, either. But this idea just Will Not Leave My Brain, which is just baffling-- I don't even like Will.
Spoilers up to A Very Glee Christmas, because Kurt is once again being hopeless and it depresses me. I guess.
Will Schuester is terrible with gifts.
He hadn't been lying when he'd told Kurt that-- Terri had suffered through many of his infamous well-meaning but ultimately thoughtless gift back when they had been married. Well, suffered is perhaps a bad choice of word, considering she'd had no qualms putting him down in that condescending, self-absorbed way she got sometimes. It's odd to think once upon a time his teeth hadn't been set on edge by just the memory of it. (Will tries to pretend he didn't love her as much as he did and that part of him still doesn't, and sometimes it's so easy. But sometimes-- sometimes he still sees that beautiful Prom Queen, with her attitude and her smile and slightly mocking "Sure, why not?" when he'd stuttered out an invitation to a dance.
It's during one of those times he sleeps with her, and he hates himself for it, a little. He hates her more for doing this to them in the first place.)
Regardless, even with how terrible Will's gift was bound to be, and with how condescending Sue would be about it, he's not sure what makes him think to ask for Kurt's help. He's really not sure what makes him think driving two hours out to Dalton to see his old student and ask him shopping advice for his old Coach/slave driver/Principal is a great idea, but there he is, smackdab in the middle of Westerville when the only shops he knows are back in Lima. Maybe it's because Kurt and Sue have an odd understanding Will doesn't understand. Almost like a -- complicity, but heaven knows Sue doesn't have a complicity with anyone but herself. That she now calls Kurt "Porcelain" because he asked her to stop calling him Lady means nothing; she'd kept on calling Quinn "Q" long after she'd kicked the poor girl out of her Cheerios. So, if not that, maybe it's because Kurt is honestly the best shopper Will knows, with Mercedes falling perhaps a close second, and Will had heard all about Sue telling Mercedes to lose weight last year, and the whole affair with Sue's car this year, and he feels it'd be unfair to make Mercedes do something nice to a woman she clearly doesn't get along with.
Maybe it's because, as much as Lauren Zizes is a welcome addition to the club, just like anyone would be, she is not one of Will's kids, not truly, and Kurt is. Even deep in Westerville and wearing the uniform of a rival club. Not that the latter is anything new in a way, but the Cheerios were at least the same school. And, alright, that sounds a tad possessive and weird, but when Kurt had seen him he'd hugged him, so it's not like the boy hadn't appreciated his impromptu visit.
Will had recognized the boy walking out of the door from Sectionals; a Warbler, too, he had shook his hand in place of a coach since apparently Dalton felt their Glee Club didn't need one. He couldn't remember hearing the boy's name, but he'd noticed him nearly serenading Kurt during their a capella version of "Hey, Soul Sister" in a way that Will had seen Finn, Puck and Sam do so often, and that he'd done himself more than that. (And while Will had looked on glumly during Train, he'd had to admit they were good, which was probably why he'd looked on glumly, come to think of it.) So it just seemed natural to assume, what with Kurt moving to a far more gay-friendly (for lack of a better term) environment, that the boy could have gotten himself coupled up. Lord knew the rest of New Directions had done it often enough Kurt had probably started to feel a bit left out.
He's surprised when Kurt assures him they're just friends. He's even more shocked when Kurt mentions, light-heartedly and with an undertone of self-derision anyone who knew him could pick up on, that it's not the case, even though Kurt is hopelessly in love with him.
"But he's gay," Kurt had explained with this kind of odd smile, "We call that progress."
And Will is oddly thrown back to last year, around the same time, when he'd asked his kids how they answered the phone and Kurt had answered, matter-of-factly: "No, she's dead. This is her son."
The whole choir room had gone quiet, then, just like it kind of does now. And again, Will has no idea what to say to him. So he'd changed the subject. Brought up shopping, and his inability to give gifts-- and the subject had been dropped.
It pains him to admit, but sometimes-- most times, really, Will doesn't really get Kurt Hummel. He reminds Will of Rachel at her lowest, sometimes-- Rachel is more obvious about it, of course, but both of them seem to have this strange self-esteem, that is both greater than it should be but hides an interior of-- "There is nothing worthy about me", a little. He remembers Rachel panicking and thinking that without her voice, she was nothing. Kurt is a bit like that, Will figures.
They both wear hard shells that pretend they are not affected by things, and Kurt has perfected his in a way that Rachel hasn't because she likes to see the good in the world, unlike Kurt who honestly can't be blamed for his own darker point of view.
Will barely knows what to say to Rachel in those cases, and, he's afraid to admit it, it's at least easier because she's a girl. Even if he doesn't exactly know what she's going through, he can understand her circumstances better. She fits in a mold the world at large accepts, even if high school doesn't. Kurt... doesn't.
Will can't talk about these things with Kurt. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't really understand, and doesn't like to pretend he does-- it usually goes awry. Kurt isn't afraid to call him out on those things, he knows. Kurt is unashamedly himself in a world that has no idea what to make of him, and Will will always support him-- or at least try to-- in that.
But supporting him on his insecurities... Will knows he can't help with that. He can help Finn, or Puck, or Rachel or Artie or anyone else in the club, really, because ultimately he can relate to them in some way. He can't relate to Kurt at all, and he feels like pretending he does would be presumptuous. No one knows what it's like to be gay except someone else who is gay.
So Will doesn't say anything, not even the things he thinks should be so easy to say -- because even though "Maybe next, you could try for a boy who will like you back" sounds great, it might be answered with "Who would?", and Will has no answer for that. It would be worse than not saying anything at all.
So he takes Kurt shopping instead, and if he winds up with shirts that "Go without sweater vests, honestly, Mr Schue" or even an entire ensemble that Kurt thinks might get Emma to do a double-take (in a good way, Kurt had assured him) on top of Sue's presents, well--
He might not be able to truly help Kurt, with anything, but he can still try to cheer him up. At least a little.
(Sue's gift is perfect, by the way, though Will wishes he'd gone with his original plan of getting her a soul when he finds out she rigged the entire thing.
He doesn't mention it to Kurt when he's thanking him for his help later. It was a great gift after all, regardless of the recipient.)
NO SERIOUSLY GUYS I DON'T EVEN LIKE WILL WTF
Spoilers up to A Very Glee Christmas, because Kurt is once again being hopeless and it depresses me. I guess.
Will Schuester is terrible with gifts.
He hadn't been lying when he'd told Kurt that-- Terri had suffered through many of his infamous well-meaning but ultimately thoughtless gift back when they had been married. Well, suffered is perhaps a bad choice of word, considering she'd had no qualms putting him down in that condescending, self-absorbed way she got sometimes. It's odd to think once upon a time his teeth hadn't been set on edge by just the memory of it. (Will tries to pretend he didn't love her as much as he did and that part of him still doesn't, and sometimes it's so easy. But sometimes-- sometimes he still sees that beautiful Prom Queen, with her attitude and her smile and slightly mocking "Sure, why not?" when he'd stuttered out an invitation to a dance.
It's during one of those times he sleeps with her, and he hates himself for it, a little. He hates her more for doing this to them in the first place.)
Regardless, even with how terrible Will's gift was bound to be, and with how condescending Sue would be about it, he's not sure what makes him think to ask for Kurt's help. He's really not sure what makes him think driving two hours out to Dalton to see his old student and ask him shopping advice for his old Coach/slave driver/Principal is a great idea, but there he is, smackdab in the middle of Westerville when the only shops he knows are back in Lima. Maybe it's because Kurt and Sue have an odd understanding Will doesn't understand. Almost like a -- complicity, but heaven knows Sue doesn't have a complicity with anyone but herself. That she now calls Kurt "Porcelain" because he asked her to stop calling him Lady means nothing; she'd kept on calling Quinn "Q" long after she'd kicked the poor girl out of her Cheerios. So, if not that, maybe it's because Kurt is honestly the best shopper Will knows, with Mercedes falling perhaps a close second, and Will had heard all about Sue telling Mercedes to lose weight last year, and the whole affair with Sue's car this year, and he feels it'd be unfair to make Mercedes do something nice to a woman she clearly doesn't get along with.
Maybe it's because, as much as Lauren Zizes is a welcome addition to the club, just like anyone would be, she is not one of Will's kids, not truly, and Kurt is. Even deep in Westerville and wearing the uniform of a rival club. Not that the latter is anything new in a way, but the Cheerios were at least the same school. And, alright, that sounds a tad possessive and weird, but when Kurt had seen him he'd hugged him, so it's not like the boy hadn't appreciated his impromptu visit.
Will had recognized the boy walking out of the door from Sectionals; a Warbler, too, he had shook his hand in place of a coach since apparently Dalton felt their Glee Club didn't need one. He couldn't remember hearing the boy's name, but he'd noticed him nearly serenading Kurt during their a capella version of "Hey, Soul Sister" in a way that Will had seen Finn, Puck and Sam do so often, and that he'd done himself more than that. (And while Will had looked on glumly during Train, he'd had to admit they were good, which was probably why he'd looked on glumly, come to think of it.) So it just seemed natural to assume, what with Kurt moving to a far more gay-friendly (for lack of a better term) environment, that the boy could have gotten himself coupled up. Lord knew the rest of New Directions had done it often enough Kurt had probably started to feel a bit left out.
He's surprised when Kurt assures him they're just friends. He's even more shocked when Kurt mentions, light-heartedly and with an undertone of self-derision anyone who knew him could pick up on, that it's not the case, even though Kurt is hopelessly in love with him.
"But he's gay," Kurt had explained with this kind of odd smile, "We call that progress."
And Will is oddly thrown back to last year, around the same time, when he'd asked his kids how they answered the phone and Kurt had answered, matter-of-factly: "No, she's dead. This is her son."
The whole choir room had gone quiet, then, just like it kind of does now. And again, Will has no idea what to say to him. So he'd changed the subject. Brought up shopping, and his inability to give gifts-- and the subject had been dropped.
It pains him to admit, but sometimes-- most times, really, Will doesn't really get Kurt Hummel. He reminds Will of Rachel at her lowest, sometimes-- Rachel is more obvious about it, of course, but both of them seem to have this strange self-esteem, that is both greater than it should be but hides an interior of-- "There is nothing worthy about me", a little. He remembers Rachel panicking and thinking that without her voice, she was nothing. Kurt is a bit like that, Will figures.
They both wear hard shells that pretend they are not affected by things, and Kurt has perfected his in a way that Rachel hasn't because she likes to see the good in the world, unlike Kurt who honestly can't be blamed for his own darker point of view.
Will barely knows what to say to Rachel in those cases, and, he's afraid to admit it, it's at least easier because she's a girl. Even if he doesn't exactly know what she's going through, he can understand her circumstances better. She fits in a mold the world at large accepts, even if high school doesn't. Kurt... doesn't.
Will can't talk about these things with Kurt. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't really understand, and doesn't like to pretend he does-- it usually goes awry. Kurt isn't afraid to call him out on those things, he knows. Kurt is unashamedly himself in a world that has no idea what to make of him, and Will will always support him-- or at least try to-- in that.
But supporting him on his insecurities... Will knows he can't help with that. He can help Finn, or Puck, or Rachel or Artie or anyone else in the club, really, because ultimately he can relate to them in some way. He can't relate to Kurt at all, and he feels like pretending he does would be presumptuous. No one knows what it's like to be gay except someone else who is gay.
So Will doesn't say anything, not even the things he thinks should be so easy to say -- because even though "Maybe next, you could try for a boy who will like you back" sounds great, it might be answered with "Who would?", and Will has no answer for that. It would be worse than not saying anything at all.
So he takes Kurt shopping instead, and if he winds up with shirts that "Go without sweater vests, honestly, Mr Schue" or even an entire ensemble that Kurt thinks might get Emma to do a double-take (in a good way, Kurt had assured him) on top of Sue's presents, well--
He might not be able to truly help Kurt, with anything, but he can still try to cheer him up. At least a little.
(Sue's gift is perfect, by the way, though Will wishes he'd gone with his original plan of getting her a soul when he finds out she rigged the entire thing.
He doesn't mention it to Kurt when he's thanking him for his help later. It was a great gift after all, regardless of the recipient.)
NO SERIOUSLY GUYS I DON'T EVEN LIKE WILL WTF