[Fanfic] The sound of an Angel's wings
Title: The sound of an Angel's wings
Author: hikarinoniji
Group: Hey!Say!JUMP
Characters/Pairings: Okamoto/Yamada (one-sided), Okamoto/Chinen (friendship), Yamada/Nakajima. Mentions of Yabu and Yaotome.
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is purely fiction.
Beta: akumanakoi
Summary: When someone dies, they become an Angel, given a duty, a certain purpose, they must fulfill their live on Earth and Up High. Those who break their purpose and go against their duty are hit with the biggest punishment an Angel can get; their wings are taken away for their soul to be destined to roam over the Earth with no chance of ever getting back.
When Keito becomes an Angel, he promises he would not lose his wings. But what happens when he falls head over heels for a human and becomes so obsessed with him his promise, duty and friends are soon forgotten?
A/N: This took me so long, but I'm extremely happy with how it turned out after the idea had been hunting me for over so long. My first 7!centered fic, wow.
All Keito remembered about dying was receiving his wings.
He had no idea how it happened or who he had been as a human. All he knew was that his soul had
been ripped away from a solid body and that he had been given wings to fly.
And so he did.
He had no idea how long he flew. It could have been hours, days, weeks or maybe even months. He
just knew that when he arrived Up High, he was fully accustomed to his wings and they were able to
take him anywhere he wanted to go.
Up High, he met other Angels. They looked at him, stared him down. He was new. He had no job, no
purpose. He had been given wings, but he was still nothing among them. He felt small, insignificant
and he wanted to be invisible.
He folded his wings and that’s when he first heard it; the sound of his rustling feathers.
Up in the sky he had been too occupied with the actual art of flying, the wind blowing past his ears
and the feeling of absolute freedom. He hadn’t taken account of the sound the thousand little
feathers that carried him made. But now, surrounded by all these unfamiliar, unfriendly faces he’d
rather not see, their sound had caught his ears.
Even though he had no memories of life, the sound of his wings vaguely sounded familiar to him. He
closed his eyes, stretched his long wings and listened carefully.
He recalled clean sheets, a warm bed and a hand holding his. His wings carried the sound of a young
child being put to bed, a bed with clean white sheets and a charming sweet scent. It was the sound of
youth and peace and for a reason he did not understand, it made him calm down a little.
“Ah! You are the new kid!” a voice next to him chirped and Keito’s peaceful thoughts were disturbed.
He looked to the side to find a small boy with enormous silver wings standing next to him.
His eyes widened in surprise and he backed away a little, eyeing the gracious set of feathers that had
adjusted themselves on small back of the boy.
The boy grinned at this reaction and he took Keito’s hand. “Come on Keito, you need to be given a
duty.”
“A-A duty?” the taller boy stuttered, unable to keep his eyes off the other’s wings. “And, you know
my name…”
“Of course I do, silly little Angel,” the child giggled, “But lets talk about that later. The duty is
the important part right now.”
Keito slowly nodded, biting his lower lip in discomfort.
The Angel started speaking. “Every Angel has a duty, a purpose they must fulfill. We don’t know what
it is when we arrive, but it’s fairly easy to find out.” He glanced to the side to check whether Keito
was still keeping up and continued as he noticed the new Angel still was. “Some Angels Guard, others
Protect. You can also Watch, Listen and sometimes even Speak. We don’t know why we are given
this purpose, but you cannot, under any circumstance, change or deny the fate you have been given.
Or else you’ll lose your wings.”
“Wha-What happens when we lose our wings?”
The bright expression the smaller boy had only seconds before turned darker and Keito could swear
he felt an ice cold chill creeping up his spine. “That’s when your soul loses the ability to come back
and you will forever be doomed to roam over the earth with the living. Nobody can see or hear you,
it’s a lonely existence. It’s the worst thing that can happen to anyone, so make sure it doesn’t happen
to you.”
Keito eagerly nodded and as if nothing had happened the other smiled at him again. “My name is
Yuri by the way and I am a Guardian Angel. My duty is to welcome new Angels and send them in the
right direction.”
“Then, what do you Guard?” Keito asked.
Yuri smiled. “You, for one.”
Being with Yuri gave Keito a certain sense of security. No one seemed to stare at him anymore or
give him weird looks. They accepted him as long as he was in the presence of the smaller Angel.
He wondered about the test. When it would be, what he would have to do and whether it would
hurt him. But after his question about the wings, he had been scared to affect Yuri’s mood with his
unknowingness.
He was given a room to reside in and when Yuri asked whether it was good or not he smiled and
nodded. “Yeah. It’s great.”
“Okay, I will take my leave then. You will be called out for the test soon, but untill then, make
yourself comfortable here. It’s your new home, your place to come back to.”
Keito nodded again, settling on the bed, but the moment Yuri turned around to leave he jumped off
again and stopped the smaller boy.
“Yuri! Wait!”
The Guardian Angel turned around and raised a playful brow. “Missing me already?”
Keito ran a hand through his hair while smiling sheepishly. “Will you unfold your wings for me before
you go?”
Yuri blinked, nodded slowly and Keito closed his eyes. Two gigantic silver wings spread open, gracing
the simple room. Keito however, wasn’t interested in their stunning view. He listened to the feathers
bristling against each other, almost inaudible for those who did not pay attention.
“Autumn leaves on a windy day,” Keito whispered.
“What?”
“No-Nothing,” Keito looked back at Yuri who squinted his eyes at him. “They are really pretty. Your
wings.”
“Thank you,” Yuri beamed, “but now I really have to go. Duty calls.”
And with that he disappeared.
Yuri had been right. It hadn’t taken too long before an unfamiliar Angel knocked on his door, telling
him it was time for his test.
The Angel was a skinny and lanky male who carried wings with the sound of a cheering stadium. They
weren’t as majestic or impressive as Yuri’s, but they had the whitest feathers Keito had seen since his
arrival. Trailing through the numerous halls behind the Angel who had introduced himself as Kouta,
Keito looked around, mesmerized by the lights that illuminated through the huge windows and filled
the hall.
“We’re here,” Kouta spoke, ripping Keito’s thoughts away from the windows and focused them on
the large door in front of them.
The door was black and seemed to be totally out of the scenery. It was plain, no pretty decorations
or something that would indicate this door was a special one. Just a simple black door.
“What do I have to do?”
Kouta smiled at him, his eyes disappearing in the wrinkles of his face. “Just walk through the door,
it’ll be clear to you too soon enough.”
There was a hesitating nod as Keito walked past the lanky Angel and opened the door. With an
encouraging push in the back from Kouta he entered the room.
Just like the door the room he entered was pitch black and he wondered what it was that would be
clear to him. He couldn’t even see anything.
Not sure about what to do any further Keito sat down on the ground, which felt surprisingly pleasant
underneath him.
He closed his eyes, listening to see if he could hear something coming from the other room. Were
there people looking at him now? Observing his every action? And if so, what if he did it wrong?
What if he failed the test?
Although Yuri hadn’t said anything about it, could it be possible to lose your wings because there was
no purpose here for you?
The questions in his mind were almost suffocating him and he was glad to hear a sound coming from
the distance so he could rip his thoughts away from the possibility of having to exist in absolute
loneliness.
Listening carefully he could disguise a vague melody. A song, resembling those that mothers sang
for their children right before bed time. It was soft and soothing and he could feel the dark thoughts
disappear from his mind.
He opened his eyes to see whether he was still alone, but all he met was that absolute darkness and
the almost hypnotizing melody playing in the background.
He sighed, closed his eyes again and listened to the music.
He wondered how long he still had to be here and what he would have to tell the people waiting for
him when he came out.
‘I heard music playing’?
The lack of help for this test annoyed him, but only slightly.
He shook his head, deciding he would focus on the harmonies. He disguised the mellow sound of
someone’s trombone, contrasting to the high melodies of the violin.
Along the way, he made up a lyric for the song that played and as the music advanced he murmured
along with it, still wondering when he would be done.
As slow the music had started, as sudden was it gone and when Keito opened his eyes, he was met
with a painful bright light.
He blinked, his eyes having to adjust themselves to the sudden change of dark to light. When he was
able to see clear again, he was met with a cheerful Yuri and a smirking Kouta.
The taller of two helped him up, the other just patted his shoulder.
“Congratulations Keito, you’re officially a Listener.”
The duty of a Listener was as simple as it was complicated.
Keito would spend most of his time roaming on earth with the living. Listening to them.
He did not remember it from his mortal life, but he was told humans speak even when there is no
one around. They speak to a God, posters on the wall, the plush they carried around since they were
young, a deceased person or even to nothing it all.
It eased their worries, relieved stress and made them able to tell someone something they
couldn’t share with another living person.
It was Keito’s duty just to be around, Listen to their worries, complaints, love lives and other
thoughts.
He was not allowed to talk back or to even purposely make them aware of his presence. He just
has to Listen, take in the information and act as an invisible shoulder to lean on or a silent voice of
reason.
As he got used to his after-life as an Angel, he met other Angels who often told him he had been
given the most boring purpose of all.
A nice energetic Angel named Hikaru told him about how he as a Protector saved lives on a daily
basis. With exaggerated gestures and a loud voice he re-acted how he had pushed a young girl away
from a passing car. He imitated the mother’s voice, crying that her daughter had an Angel watching
over her. He assured Keito no one had seen him but that it was obviously that his action could only
be performed by an Angel and this was recognized even the living. By the time he was done,
some Angels had gathered around them and clapped to Hikaru’s heroic actions.
He bow towards them with a gallant gesture, smirking, “just a part of the job.”
Keito watched the older Angel move around telling the bystanders about yet another rescue and
shook his head with a smile.
The action Hikaru spoke of wasn’t meant for him. He much more enjoyed sitting on someone’s
windowpane, listening to the endless stories of their daily life. Where Hikaru caused a lot of emotion,
he was able to receive it.
Each day he laughed, cried, got angered or saddened by the stories by the living. He was taken along
on journeys through their daily lives, trusted with their deepest secrets. He connected with the
people he met, as if they were his friends.
“That is not a good thing, you know,” Yuri said, chewing on a piece of bread.
Even though Keito was fully settled and didn’t need a Guardian anymore, Yuri still hung out with
him exclaiming the taller Angel was too naïve to be left alone. They both knew the real reason was
because he had taken a liking to him.
“What’s wrong with it?” Keito asked, sipping his drink casually and looking at the smaller boy.
Yuri rolled his eyes and Keito felt that dark aura from the first time they met again. “Because, when
you start letting humans in, you’ll get attached to them. We’re dead, Keito. They cannot see us, they
shouldn’t see us. They don’t know who we are or even that we are around. Besides…” The
younger’s voice got softer but his eyes were still dark and icy, “when you start seeing them as your
friends you might end up wanting to help them. Give them advice; point them to the right direction.
You can’t do that, your job is to Listen only. If you deny that job you’ll lose your wings.”
“I know,” Keito said, looking down at his food. “I won’t help them. Just listen…”
“Good.” Yuri nodded, muffling another piece of bread in his mouth. “I have a flawless reputation, you
know. None of my Angels has ever lost their wings, so make sure you won’t be the first one.”
Keito nodded and grinned. “I won’t be. I won’t interfere with the living’s life.”
With a quirky smile Yuri nodded, he was satisfied. He knew Keito meant it.
At that time.
To Keito it had been a day just like any other. He had been looking for a voice, one that needed a
listening ear. His listening ear.
“… I can’t let my mother know. It’ll kill her.”
Bingo.
Keito jumped up, his wings gracing the starry night sky. Gracefully he moved towards the voice and
discovered an open window. He peered in.
Sitting on a bed was boy, probably around the same age as Keito had been when he died. He had
dark brown hair and cheeks that Keito felt like pinching.
In his room Keito saw pictures. On those pictures, the boy smiled. He had been surrounded by what
Keito assumed to be friends and family. He looked happy and carefree. Keito felt himself getting a
warm unknown feeling in the stomach by looking at his smile. Keito spotted numerous trophies on a
shelf and wondered why this boy had sounded so anxious.
He looked back at the boy, secretly hoping to be greeted with that smile, but instead the bright
features were darkened by a troubled look. Coming closer, Keito noticed how the boy’s eyes were
like dams, ready to burst and let the flood run over his cheeks.
The Angel positioned himself on the bed, looking at the boy who was unaware of his presence.
“Come on, just tell me,” he urged the boy silently.
In his hands, the boy held a small teddy bear plush. “I can’t tell my mom I like boys, can I? Her son,
captain of the soccer team, always in the top-10 of his school… Is a homo. God I-“
The boy started sobbing, clutching the children’s toy closer to his chest.
Keito bit his lower lip, feeling a stab of pain going through his heart. He had almost moved closer,
wrapping his arms around the boy breaking down, but he regained himself. Instead, he just stretched
his wing, caressing the boy’s cheek.
‘Don’t cry,’ it said.
The boy’s sobs were disturbed by a female voice calling out for him.
“Ryosuke! Dinner’s ready! Come downstairs and tell me about your day!”
With his sleeve the boy, Ryosuke wiped away his tears. He cleared his throat in an attempt to sound
normal. “Coming mom! Just going to wash my hands first!”
Putting the bear underneath his pillow, Ryosuke placed his finger on his lip and whispered, “Don’t tell
anyone, okay?”
‘I won’t,’ Keito answered.
Ryosuke dashed out of the room, leaving Keito alone.
It was the first time he Listened to Ryosuke.
There wasn’t supposed to be a second time. Listeners had no regulars and were supposed to be open
for anyone who needed them.
Despite this, Keito found himself back in Ryosuke’s room the next day. And the day after. And the day
after that.
It wasn’t like he wanted to go there. It just happened. He could hear Ryosuke’s silent cries
for a shoulder to lean on, someone who could understand him without judgment. As if he was cast
under a spell Keito found himself answering those calls night after night.
Keito learned Ryosuke was in his last year of High School. He was the boy the girls wanted and the
boys wanted to be. He was also the boy that wanted to be a girl because he wanted the boys. It was
complicated.
His father had died when he was only 3 years old. His mother had been heartbroken because of his
father’s death, but determined nevertheless to give her son every thing he needed. She would make
up for the lack of a male figure in his life and take care for him just as well-no, even better than a
family with two parents.
She had done well. Or so it seemed. Ryosuke was a straight A student, captain of his soccer team and
well known as a polite young men.
His mother’s endless efforts in sculpting him in the perfect picture he was, was exactly what
made him keep silent about his sexuality He didn’t want his mother to think she had failed, that it
was all her fault.
Keito admired Ryosuke, as the boy spoke with a clear voice to the worn plush in his hand. “I’d rather
be unhappy my entire life than lett mom down. I’ll pay that price, if I have to.”
Ryosuke said stuff like that a lot. Broken and torn by the situation and the secret he kept to himself,
he refused to give up and let his head down.
Keito admired him. Just admired him.
And somewhere in between, he didn’t notice he was also falling for him.
As an Angel, Keito started slacking. He spent most of his time in Ryosuke’s room, even when the boy
wasn’t talking. Instead of Listening, he rather observed the boy.
Slowly, without realizing, he was starting to deny his fate.
When Ryosuke was at school, Keito roamed through the house instead of Listening to living people
who could use his presence.
Many times he stumbled upon Ryosuke’s mother, the house keeper and various pictures and other
memories from Ryosuke’s childhood.
The house became a second home to him.
No longer did he wander through the city, looking for people that needed him. Ryosuke needed him.
Needed his Listening ear. There were other Angels to help out people that were not Ryosuke.
The boy had become the center of Keito’s existence and slowly was becoming his reason too.
Before, Keito used to dine with the other Angels in the bright light hall, occupying the seat next to
Yuri. Now however, he chose to get a piece for bread before moving to his room.
Several times he tumbled upon friends who wanted to drag him along to the hall, to have fun, to
share stories and experiences, but he refused.
Time not spent with Ryosuke was a waste anyway.
That’s how he slowly isolated himself from the rest, only to be forgotten after some time. Forgotten
by everyone, but Yuri.
“Keito!”
Keito’s steps quickened, he had to hurry, Ryosuke would almost be home and he didn’t want Yuri to
slow him down.
“Goddamnit Keito,” Yuri cursed, speeding up and grabbing Keito’s wrist before the taller Angel could
disappear around the corner.
Keito turned around, his eyes pierced at Yuri. Yuri bit his lower lip as he looked back. The usual dark
aura whenever he was upset about something didn’t appear this time. And even if it had, seeing
Keito’s state, it probably wouldn’t even have affected him anyway.
Yuri looked Keito in the eyes. Eyes that had been light brown and warm the first time they met, now
looked dark and distant. As if he had become a whole new person.
“Please, listen,” Yuri spoke and after contemplating, Keito nodded.
“You are spending too much time with that living boy Keito. They are watching you, you will
lose your wings if you keep this up. You don’t listen to other people, you roam around in his house.
It’s like you are obsessed with this boy. And what for? You know the price you pay when you ignore
the fate you have been given.”
Keito yanked his hand back and threw an ice cold glance at Yuri. “I am just doing my job, Listening to
Ryosuke’s stories.”
“You are playing favorites by only Listening to him Keito, you’re already emotionally involved with
him.”
Yuri looked sad. So sad, Keito almost would have stayed Up High to tell him he really wasn’t.
But a cry pierced right through his soul. Ryosuke’s cry.
“I won’t lose my wings, not as long as Ryosuke needs me.”
With those words he took off, leaving Yuri alone in the white hall. The Guardian Angel bit his lip.
He had warned him, he had already gone against the rules by warning him and from there on his
hands were tied. A sad sigh released from his lips. His small shoulders slumped. His wings folded
themselves.
When would Ryosuke stop needing him?
Keito almost choked on his own salvia when he understood why Ryosuke was crying. He was in love.
Head over heels with a boy in his class. His best friend. A tall, cheerful boy named Yuto.
He hadn’t noticed since today and for the high schooler, the hit was one too big to take.
As if being gay wasn’t enough of a secret to keep, now he also had to keep quiet about his crush.
With every word he spoke, Ryosuke seemed to break down a little more and it broke Keito’s heart. In
a more than just a selfish way.
That night Ryosuke cried in his pillow that he should have seen it coming, should have stopped it.
Keito cried along with him. But for a different reason.
Up until that moment it had never crossed Keito’s mind that Ryosuke was able to fall in love and
that these feelings could even be returned. Ryosuke being gay and Keito being the only one knowing
about this, was as if Ryosuke was locked in this glass box, only for Keito to look at. However, now the
Angel realized that if he was able to see how great Ryosuke was, someone else would be able to see
it too. Especially if that someone was a living person, Ryosuke’s best friend.
Keito knew that if these forbidden feelings would be returned, he would lose Ryosuke. If this so-
called best friend of his was in love with him too, it meant Ryosuke would be able to share all his
forbidden stories with that boy. He wouldn’t need to talk to the stuffed animal underneath his pillow
anymore. He wouldn’t need Keito anymore.
Keito needed a plan. Ryosuke had to become an Angel too.
All Keito needed to do was to make sure Ryosuke died.
The plan was simple; he had to make Ryosuke believe no one would love him if he ever spoke up
about his feelings and push him to the point that he would think it would be for the best if he just
died.
And it would be for the best, he could be together with Keito. A new Angel does not remember
anything about his mortal life, about the hardships they had, so technically Keito would be doing him
a favor.
Keito had learned Angels could whisper into someone’s ears if they just tried hard enough, though it
was actually forbidden for those who were not told to Speak. But no one would notice and it would
be for the greater good. Ryosuke would be happier as an Angel anyway.
Keito would just whisper in Ryosuke’s ear that he was disgusting and that he should follow his father
so his mom could finally have a normal life, without having to worry for her homo son every
day.
It took a while for Keito to gather courage and actually speak these words, words he did not mean. It
was horrible to see Ryosuke breaking down the first time because of what he thought were his own
thoughts.
Just like the first time they met, Ryosuke cried. Big crystal tears slid down his cheeks as he curled up
in a ball on his bed. He pulled his knees together as his body shocked while he tried to hold back his
loud, wailing sobs. He was afraid his mother would hear him.
Keito cried with him, told himself he was doing this for Ryosuke. That he was helping this boy to
move on, to move to a greater place. It would hurt now, but he would end up being happier when all
was over.
That horrible first night, when Ryosuke was asleep Keito leaned over and whispered in his
ear, “this hurts now, but it’ll all be over soon.”
“Soon” didn’t happen soon enough.
Ryosuke was extremely resistant. He was strong and levelheaded. He told the voices in his head he
refused to let them win. As long as he could keep up the act he had been playing for over the years,
every thing would be fine. His mom would still love him and his best friend would still be around. He
could manage.
The strong personality that Keito had admired before now started to bother him. Night after night he
sat besides Ryosuke’s bed, kneeling down and whispering terrible words in the young male’s ear.
Terrifying scenarios about when his classmates would find out, the shame his mother would feel if
she ever discovered his secret and Yuto being disgusted with him were poured into Ryosuke’s mind.
It always ended with the words “they would be better off without you.”
As much as Ryosuke tried to resist the voices in his head, to Keito it was obvious he was taking them
into account. He had become weary of his friends, short in his answers; he even kept Yuto at a safe
distance.
It was tough and took Keito longer than he had thought it would, but slowly he was breaking Ryosuke
down.
The final blow was made by no other than Ryosuke himself.
On a warm spring afternoon he ran into the house. Panting he managed to get into his room before
his mom could ask him anything. His face was red and wet from tears and sweat. It was clear he had
been running all the way and Keito observed him with an arched brow.
Ryosuke ran right through him, arms wielding and digging underneath his plush. When he finally
found it, he pressed the stuffed animal to his chest and dropped his own body on the bed where it
frantically started shaking.
Husked breaths tried to cover up loud sobs ad Keito sat down on the edge of the bed, his wings
caressing the living boy.
“I… Kissed… Him…” Ryosuke managed to speak in between sobs and it seemed like Keito’s time was
stopped.
“I couldn’t help it, he was so close, it was so warm.”
Frozen on the spot, Keito listened to the words.
“He didn’t push me away, he didn’t lean in either. Before he could react I ran away. I didn’t know
what to do. He must hate me now.”
“Of course he does, silly boy. You kissed him, you went against your own nature and you kissed
him. He hates you now. When you arrive at school tomorrow everyone will laugh, scream and look
at you. You filthy homo, you kissed another male. And your mother, your poor mother. What must
she think of her gay son? A gay son that kisses other people whenever he pleases. The shame. Poor
woman.”
Keito’s voice was low and piercing. Ryosuke’s body had stopped shaking, instead he just looked at
the wall with an unreadable expression. It was as if all the air got sucked out of his lungs, he
didn’t bother to breathe in some new again. He just lay there on the bed, listening to the voice in his
head.
“There is only one thing you can do now. Kill yourself. Kill yourself before someone else does it.
Kill yourself before you will have to face your poor, poor mother. Release her. Give her back the life
you took, in vain.”
Ryosuke’s hands reached for his head. His fingers intertwined with his hair. He pulled the soft strands
of dark brown locks, gritting his teeth. He wanted to scream but he couldn’t, he wished he could just
continue crying and find comfort in his mother’s lap, so she could tell him everything would be fine in
a while.
But he knew that wouldn’t happen, so he just pulled his hair until big chunks of the dark brown mass
on his head were ripped off his skull. Tears had started streaming down his cheeks again, but his
breathing was steady.
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
City lights illuminated the night. With a cap pulled over his eyes and ears Ryosuke passed cars and
people. Some eyed the boy that seemed to be too young to be out late at night all by his own.
Little did they know, he wasn't alone. Keito was following him, contently. After tonight Ryosuke
would be his. After all those weeks of following the young male, he would finally be able to make him
his.
At a busy crossroad Ryosuke halted, pulling the cap off his head. People passed him, hurrying before
they would miss the green light.
The light for those who were by feet turned red and Ryosuke swallowed away a lump in his throat.
“I’m sorry mom… Yuto.”
The light for cars changed its color and cars pulled up from their spot. Ryosuke closed his eyes, took 3
steps backwards and nodded to himself.
This was it.
Keito closed his eyes counted from three to one.
Three. Ryosuke jumped forward, landing on the middle of the road.
Two. There was a scream, the sound of a car being stepped on its breaks.
One… Keito opened his eyes.
They widened in surprise, seeing Ryosuke safely with his face down on the pavement. H saw how
Ryosuke got up, staring at the road. He saw how the boy’s eyes filled with horror as he scrambled up
and made his way to where he had been only second before.
In his place lay a young male.
Ryosuke dropped himself next to the body, his hands grasped those of the other boy.
“Yuto…” he sobbed, pulling the taller boy’s hands to his chest.
“Yuto… Why did you-”
Yuto opened his eyes, a faint smile ghosted on his lips.
“I…”
“Don’t, don’t speak. You need to-you need to stay still. An ambulance will be here soon. They will
take you to the hospital. You’ll be fine, save your energy, Yuto.”
Yuto closed his eyes as Ryosuke’s fingers intertwined with his. “I’m glad you’re safe,” Yuto’s
weak voice spoke.
Horrified Ryosuke looked at him. His eyes were big, red and swollen. An endless stream of tears
streamed down his cheeks, wetting his face. “Don’t say that, thanks to me you are-I’m such an idiot.
Just don’t say that.”
“You were gone so fast, today… I never had the chance… To kiss you back,” Yuto continued,
ignoring Ryosuke’s sobs and incoherent words.
“What are you talking about?” Ryosuke cried, bringing his head to Yuto’s chest now. “What are you
saying Yuto? Yuto, speak to me.”
But Yuto didn’t speak anymore. His lungs pushed out their last bit of air, before Yuto’s heart had
stopped due the hit it had taken and his body became numb.
“Yuto! Yuto stay with me! Don’t do this to me! Yuto!”
Ryosuke’s cries echoed in the back as Keito watched the scene unfolding in front of his eyes. As if had
been the one being hit by the car, he finally woke up, for the first time in weeks he seemed to realize
what was going on. What he had done.
He looked down at Ryosuke, the boy he loved so much and felt his heart aching. He realized this was
entirely his fault. He realized all the mistakes he had made. But only now, now when was far too late
and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.
He had denied his fate, he had betrayed his friends and above that… He had ruined the life of a boy
who could have been living a dream right now, if only he hadn’t interfered with it.
Now he could think clearly, he wished he could just turn back time and stop himself before it turned
out to be like this.
“Why am I not surprised to see you here?” His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.
Keito looked next to him, where Yuri stood tall (as far as he managed to). “What are you doing
here?”
“I'm coming to get him,” Yuri spoke, looking at the tall boy, now tugged between Ryosuke's arms.
“You can't,” Keito said.
Yuri raised a brow, he unfolded his silver wings, making his posture looking more impressive. "And
why is that?"
Keito bit his lower lip, his silence was drowned in the loud sobs coming from Ryosuke, begging for
Yuto to come back to him. The Angel closed his eyes, one more time listening to his wings unfolding.
"Because he loves him."
“You only realize that now?” Yuri had tried to sound sarcastic, but instead he just sounded like he
had been dreading to hear those words, for Keito to realize.
Keito shook his head, “no, I knew. I just… Didn’t want to see it.”
“It’s too late now,” Yuri spoke, looking down at the two humans, the living one unaware of the
presence of the two Angels. “He’s gone, Keito. They’re already busy giving him his wings.”
Keito stole one last glance of Ryosuke and Yuto on the ground. “It’s not too late.”
He grabbed Yuri by the shoulders and pulled the small Guardian Angel in a tight embrace. Startled by
the sudden hug, Yuri wasn’t fast enough to pull away and motionless he stayed in Keito’s arms.
“I’m sorry for not listening and I’m sorry for being the first one on your list.”
“Keito…” Yuri wanted to speak, to ask Keito what he was planning to do, even though he had a good
idea of what that was.
Keito just smiled, his eyes warm and bright, just like the first time he and Yuri met.
He kneeled down next to Ryosuke and Yuto.
“I’m sorry Ryosuke, for putting you through this,” he whispered next to the boy’s ear.
He then placed his hands on Yuto’s chest and started moving his wings. He remembered the first
time he flew with these wings, making the same motion as he did at the time. Only this time this
journey wasn’t his first, but his final.
All Yuri could do was watch how Keito gave up his wings to save the lover of the one he loved the
most.
As the wings started moving faster, their feathers started to fly off their roots. They dawned upon the
tall boy’s body, covering them in a blanket of soft white, invisible to the living eye.
When Keito’s wings stopped moving, there were no feathers apparent anymore. Instead, only the
empty atomy of what used to be a graceful set of feathers was visible on his back.
Keito looked over his shoulder where his eyes met Yuri's. It was over for him.
Yuto started breathing again. Grasping for air, he struggled in Ryosuke’s iron hold. Startled, Ryosuke
let go of him, giving Yuto the room he needed to catch his breath.
“Yuto…”
“Don’t cry Ryo-chan,” Yuto spoke, weakly.
Sobbing Ryosuke dug his head in Yuto’s chest, softly crying out his name. In return, Yuto’s long arms
wrapped themselves around the smaller body, keeping it close to his own. He kissed Ryosuke’s
hair, promised he would never leave him if Ryosuke promised to do the same and in between sobs
Ryosuke answered that he would never let go of him anymore.
Neither of the boys could see the shadow of what used to be an Angel hovering over them.
But Yuri could.
“Thank you, Yuri…”
Tears streamed down the small Angel’s face as he watched Keito’s smile fade and his silhouette
disappear in thin air.
Now, finally, Yuri understood why Keito had become a Listener. With the last bit of cold air, that
used to be the bright young Angel, Yuri heard it too.
The sound of rustling sheets, a child being put to bed, finally... For a long, peaceful rest.
Author: hikarinoniji
Group: Hey!Say!JUMP
Characters/Pairings: Okamoto/Yamada (one-sided), Okamoto/Chinen (friendship), Yamada/Nakajima. Mentions of Yabu and Yaotome.
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is purely fiction.
Beta: akumanakoi
Summary: When someone dies, they become an Angel, given a duty, a certain purpose, they must fulfill their live on Earth and Up High. Those who break their purpose and go against their duty are hit with the biggest punishment an Angel can get; their wings are taken away for their soul to be destined to roam over the Earth with no chance of ever getting back.
When Keito becomes an Angel, he promises he would not lose his wings. But what happens when he falls head over heels for a human and becomes so obsessed with him his promise, duty and friends are soon forgotten?
A/N: This took me so long, but I'm extremely happy with how it turned out after the idea had been hunting me for over so long. My first 7!centered fic, wow.
All Keito remembered about dying was receiving his wings.
He had no idea how it happened or who he had been as a human. All he knew was that his soul had
been ripped away from a solid body and that he had been given wings to fly.
And so he did.
He had no idea how long he flew. It could have been hours, days, weeks or maybe even months. He
just knew that when he arrived Up High, he was fully accustomed to his wings and they were able to
take him anywhere he wanted to go.
Up High, he met other Angels. They looked at him, stared him down. He was new. He had no job, no
purpose. He had been given wings, but he was still nothing among them. He felt small, insignificant
and he wanted to be invisible.
He folded his wings and that’s when he first heard it; the sound of his rustling feathers.
Up in the sky he had been too occupied with the actual art of flying, the wind blowing past his ears
and the feeling of absolute freedom. He hadn’t taken account of the sound the thousand little
feathers that carried him made. But now, surrounded by all these unfamiliar, unfriendly faces he’d
rather not see, their sound had caught his ears.
Even though he had no memories of life, the sound of his wings vaguely sounded familiar to him. He
closed his eyes, stretched his long wings and listened carefully.
He recalled clean sheets, a warm bed and a hand holding his. His wings carried the sound of a young
child being put to bed, a bed with clean white sheets and a charming sweet scent. It was the sound of
youth and peace and for a reason he did not understand, it made him calm down a little.
“Ah! You are the new kid!” a voice next to him chirped and Keito’s peaceful thoughts were disturbed.
He looked to the side to find a small boy with enormous silver wings standing next to him.
His eyes widened in surprise and he backed away a little, eyeing the gracious set of feathers that had
adjusted themselves on small back of the boy.
The boy grinned at this reaction and he took Keito’s hand. “Come on Keito, you need to be given a
duty.”
“A-A duty?” the taller boy stuttered, unable to keep his eyes off the other’s wings. “And, you know
my name…”
“Of course I do, silly little Angel,” the child giggled, “But lets talk about that later. The duty is
the important part right now.”
Keito slowly nodded, biting his lower lip in discomfort.
The Angel started speaking. “Every Angel has a duty, a purpose they must fulfill. We don’t know what
it is when we arrive, but it’s fairly easy to find out.” He glanced to the side to check whether Keito
was still keeping up and continued as he noticed the new Angel still was. “Some Angels Guard, others
Protect. You can also Watch, Listen and sometimes even Speak. We don’t know why we are given
this purpose, but you cannot, under any circumstance, change or deny the fate you have been given.
Or else you’ll lose your wings.”
“Wha-What happens when we lose our wings?”
The bright expression the smaller boy had only seconds before turned darker and Keito could swear
he felt an ice cold chill creeping up his spine. “That’s when your soul loses the ability to come back
and you will forever be doomed to roam over the earth with the living. Nobody can see or hear you,
it’s a lonely existence. It’s the worst thing that can happen to anyone, so make sure it doesn’t happen
to you.”
Keito eagerly nodded and as if nothing had happened the other smiled at him again. “My name is
Yuri by the way and I am a Guardian Angel. My duty is to welcome new Angels and send them in the
right direction.”
“Then, what do you Guard?” Keito asked.
Yuri smiled. “You, for one.”
Being with Yuri gave Keito a certain sense of security. No one seemed to stare at him anymore or
give him weird looks. They accepted him as long as he was in the presence of the smaller Angel.
He wondered about the test. When it would be, what he would have to do and whether it would
hurt him. But after his question about the wings, he had been scared to affect Yuri’s mood with his
unknowingness.
He was given a room to reside in and when Yuri asked whether it was good or not he smiled and
nodded. “Yeah. It’s great.”
“Okay, I will take my leave then. You will be called out for the test soon, but untill then, make
yourself comfortable here. It’s your new home, your place to come back to.”
Keito nodded again, settling on the bed, but the moment Yuri turned around to leave he jumped off
again and stopped the smaller boy.
“Yuri! Wait!”
The Guardian Angel turned around and raised a playful brow. “Missing me already?”
Keito ran a hand through his hair while smiling sheepishly. “Will you unfold your wings for me before
you go?”
Yuri blinked, nodded slowly and Keito closed his eyes. Two gigantic silver wings spread open, gracing
the simple room. Keito however, wasn’t interested in their stunning view. He listened to the feathers
bristling against each other, almost inaudible for those who did not pay attention.
“Autumn leaves on a windy day,” Keito whispered.
“What?”
“No-Nothing,” Keito looked back at Yuri who squinted his eyes at him. “They are really pretty. Your
wings.”
“Thank you,” Yuri beamed, “but now I really have to go. Duty calls.”
And with that he disappeared.
Yuri had been right. It hadn’t taken too long before an unfamiliar Angel knocked on his door, telling
him it was time for his test.
The Angel was a skinny and lanky male who carried wings with the sound of a cheering stadium. They
weren’t as majestic or impressive as Yuri’s, but they had the whitest feathers Keito had seen since his
arrival. Trailing through the numerous halls behind the Angel who had introduced himself as Kouta,
Keito looked around, mesmerized by the lights that illuminated through the huge windows and filled
the hall.
“We’re here,” Kouta spoke, ripping Keito’s thoughts away from the windows and focused them on
the large door in front of them.
The door was black and seemed to be totally out of the scenery. It was plain, no pretty decorations
or something that would indicate this door was a special one. Just a simple black door.
“What do I have to do?”
Kouta smiled at him, his eyes disappearing in the wrinkles of his face. “Just walk through the door,
it’ll be clear to you too soon enough.”
There was a hesitating nod as Keito walked past the lanky Angel and opened the door. With an
encouraging push in the back from Kouta he entered the room.
Just like the door the room he entered was pitch black and he wondered what it was that would be
clear to him. He couldn’t even see anything.
Not sure about what to do any further Keito sat down on the ground, which felt surprisingly pleasant
underneath him.
He closed his eyes, listening to see if he could hear something coming from the other room. Were
there people looking at him now? Observing his every action? And if so, what if he did it wrong?
What if he failed the test?
Although Yuri hadn’t said anything about it, could it be possible to lose your wings because there was
no purpose here for you?
The questions in his mind were almost suffocating him and he was glad to hear a sound coming from
the distance so he could rip his thoughts away from the possibility of having to exist in absolute
loneliness.
Listening carefully he could disguise a vague melody. A song, resembling those that mothers sang
for their children right before bed time. It was soft and soothing and he could feel the dark thoughts
disappear from his mind.
He opened his eyes to see whether he was still alone, but all he met was that absolute darkness and
the almost hypnotizing melody playing in the background.
He sighed, closed his eyes again and listened to the music.
He wondered how long he still had to be here and what he would have to tell the people waiting for
him when he came out.
‘I heard music playing’?
The lack of help for this test annoyed him, but only slightly.
He shook his head, deciding he would focus on the harmonies. He disguised the mellow sound of
someone’s trombone, contrasting to the high melodies of the violin.
Along the way, he made up a lyric for the song that played and as the music advanced he murmured
along with it, still wondering when he would be done.
As slow the music had started, as sudden was it gone and when Keito opened his eyes, he was met
with a painful bright light.
He blinked, his eyes having to adjust themselves to the sudden change of dark to light. When he was
able to see clear again, he was met with a cheerful Yuri and a smirking Kouta.
The taller of two helped him up, the other just patted his shoulder.
“Congratulations Keito, you’re officially a Listener.”
The duty of a Listener was as simple as it was complicated.
Keito would spend most of his time roaming on earth with the living. Listening to them.
He did not remember it from his mortal life, but he was told humans speak even when there is no
one around. They speak to a God, posters on the wall, the plush they carried around since they were
young, a deceased person or even to nothing it all.
It eased their worries, relieved stress and made them able to tell someone something they
couldn’t share with another living person.
It was Keito’s duty just to be around, Listen to their worries, complaints, love lives and other
thoughts.
He was not allowed to talk back or to even purposely make them aware of his presence. He just
has to Listen, take in the information and act as an invisible shoulder to lean on or a silent voice of
reason.
As he got used to his after-life as an Angel, he met other Angels who often told him he had been
given the most boring purpose of all.
A nice energetic Angel named Hikaru told him about how he as a Protector saved lives on a daily
basis. With exaggerated gestures and a loud voice he re-acted how he had pushed a young girl away
from a passing car. He imitated the mother’s voice, crying that her daughter had an Angel watching
over her. He assured Keito no one had seen him but that it was obviously that his action could only
be performed by an Angel and this was recognized even the living. By the time he was done,
some Angels had gathered around them and clapped to Hikaru’s heroic actions.
He bow towards them with a gallant gesture, smirking, “just a part of the job.”
Keito watched the older Angel move around telling the bystanders about yet another rescue and
shook his head with a smile.
The action Hikaru spoke of wasn’t meant for him. He much more enjoyed sitting on someone’s
windowpane, listening to the endless stories of their daily life. Where Hikaru caused a lot of emotion,
he was able to receive it.
Each day he laughed, cried, got angered or saddened by the stories by the living. He was taken along
on journeys through their daily lives, trusted with their deepest secrets. He connected with the
people he met, as if they were his friends.
“That is not a good thing, you know,” Yuri said, chewing on a piece of bread.
Even though Keito was fully settled and didn’t need a Guardian anymore, Yuri still hung out with
him exclaiming the taller Angel was too naïve to be left alone. They both knew the real reason was
because he had taken a liking to him.
“What’s wrong with it?” Keito asked, sipping his drink casually and looking at the smaller boy.
Yuri rolled his eyes and Keito felt that dark aura from the first time they met again. “Because, when
you start letting humans in, you’ll get attached to them. We’re dead, Keito. They cannot see us, they
shouldn’t see us. They don’t know who we are or even that we are around. Besides…” The
younger’s voice got softer but his eyes were still dark and icy, “when you start seeing them as your
friends you might end up wanting to help them. Give them advice; point them to the right direction.
You can’t do that, your job is to Listen only. If you deny that job you’ll lose your wings.”
“I know,” Keito said, looking down at his food. “I won’t help them. Just listen…”
“Good.” Yuri nodded, muffling another piece of bread in his mouth. “I have a flawless reputation, you
know. None of my Angels has ever lost their wings, so make sure you won’t be the first one.”
Keito nodded and grinned. “I won’t be. I won’t interfere with the living’s life.”
With a quirky smile Yuri nodded, he was satisfied. He knew Keito meant it.
At that time.
To Keito it had been a day just like any other. He had been looking for a voice, one that needed a
listening ear. His listening ear.
“… I can’t let my mother know. It’ll kill her.”
Bingo.
Keito jumped up, his wings gracing the starry night sky. Gracefully he moved towards the voice and
discovered an open window. He peered in.
Sitting on a bed was boy, probably around the same age as Keito had been when he died. He had
dark brown hair and cheeks that Keito felt like pinching.
In his room Keito saw pictures. On those pictures, the boy smiled. He had been surrounded by what
Keito assumed to be friends and family. He looked happy and carefree. Keito felt himself getting a
warm unknown feeling in the stomach by looking at his smile. Keito spotted numerous trophies on a
shelf and wondered why this boy had sounded so anxious.
He looked back at the boy, secretly hoping to be greeted with that smile, but instead the bright
features were darkened by a troubled look. Coming closer, Keito noticed how the boy’s eyes were
like dams, ready to burst and let the flood run over his cheeks.
The Angel positioned himself on the bed, looking at the boy who was unaware of his presence.
“Come on, just tell me,” he urged the boy silently.
In his hands, the boy held a small teddy bear plush. “I can’t tell my mom I like boys, can I? Her son,
captain of the soccer team, always in the top-10 of his school… Is a homo. God I-“
The boy started sobbing, clutching the children’s toy closer to his chest.
Keito bit his lower lip, feeling a stab of pain going through his heart. He had almost moved closer,
wrapping his arms around the boy breaking down, but he regained himself. Instead, he just stretched
his wing, caressing the boy’s cheek.
‘Don’t cry,’ it said.
The boy’s sobs were disturbed by a female voice calling out for him.
“Ryosuke! Dinner’s ready! Come downstairs and tell me about your day!”
With his sleeve the boy, Ryosuke wiped away his tears. He cleared his throat in an attempt to sound
normal. “Coming mom! Just going to wash my hands first!”
Putting the bear underneath his pillow, Ryosuke placed his finger on his lip and whispered, “Don’t tell
anyone, okay?”
‘I won’t,’ Keito answered.
Ryosuke dashed out of the room, leaving Keito alone.
It was the first time he Listened to Ryosuke.
There wasn’t supposed to be a second time. Listeners had no regulars and were supposed to be open
for anyone who needed them.
Despite this, Keito found himself back in Ryosuke’s room the next day. And the day after. And the day
after that.
It wasn’t like he wanted to go there. It just happened. He could hear Ryosuke’s silent cries
for a shoulder to lean on, someone who could understand him without judgment. As if he was cast
under a spell Keito found himself answering those calls night after night.
Keito learned Ryosuke was in his last year of High School. He was the boy the girls wanted and the
boys wanted to be. He was also the boy that wanted to be a girl because he wanted the boys. It was
complicated.
His father had died when he was only 3 years old. His mother had been heartbroken because of his
father’s death, but determined nevertheless to give her son every thing he needed. She would make
up for the lack of a male figure in his life and take care for him just as well-no, even better than a
family with two parents.
She had done well. Or so it seemed. Ryosuke was a straight A student, captain of his soccer team and
well known as a polite young men.
His mother’s endless efforts in sculpting him in the perfect picture he was, was exactly what
made him keep silent about his sexuality He didn’t want his mother to think she had failed, that it
was all her fault.
Keito admired Ryosuke, as the boy spoke with a clear voice to the worn plush in his hand. “I’d rather
be unhappy my entire life than lett mom down. I’ll pay that price, if I have to.”
Ryosuke said stuff like that a lot. Broken and torn by the situation and the secret he kept to himself,
he refused to give up and let his head down.
Keito admired him. Just admired him.
And somewhere in between, he didn’t notice he was also falling for him.
As an Angel, Keito started slacking. He spent most of his time in Ryosuke’s room, even when the boy
wasn’t talking. Instead of Listening, he rather observed the boy.
Slowly, without realizing, he was starting to deny his fate.
When Ryosuke was at school, Keito roamed through the house instead of Listening to living people
who could use his presence.
Many times he stumbled upon Ryosuke’s mother, the house keeper and various pictures and other
memories from Ryosuke’s childhood.
The house became a second home to him.
No longer did he wander through the city, looking for people that needed him. Ryosuke needed him.
Needed his Listening ear. There were other Angels to help out people that were not Ryosuke.
The boy had become the center of Keito’s existence and slowly was becoming his reason too.
Before, Keito used to dine with the other Angels in the bright light hall, occupying the seat next to
Yuri. Now however, he chose to get a piece for bread before moving to his room.
Several times he tumbled upon friends who wanted to drag him along to the hall, to have fun, to
share stories and experiences, but he refused.
Time not spent with Ryosuke was a waste anyway.
That’s how he slowly isolated himself from the rest, only to be forgotten after some time. Forgotten
by everyone, but Yuri.
“Keito!”
Keito’s steps quickened, he had to hurry, Ryosuke would almost be home and he didn’t want Yuri to
slow him down.
“Goddamnit Keito,” Yuri cursed, speeding up and grabbing Keito’s wrist before the taller Angel could
disappear around the corner.
Keito turned around, his eyes pierced at Yuri. Yuri bit his lower lip as he looked back. The usual dark
aura whenever he was upset about something didn’t appear this time. And even if it had, seeing
Keito’s state, it probably wouldn’t even have affected him anyway.
Yuri looked Keito in the eyes. Eyes that had been light brown and warm the first time they met, now
looked dark and distant. As if he had become a whole new person.
“Please, listen,” Yuri spoke and after contemplating, Keito nodded.
“You are spending too much time with that living boy Keito. They are watching you, you will
lose your wings if you keep this up. You don’t listen to other people, you roam around in his house.
It’s like you are obsessed with this boy. And what for? You know the price you pay when you ignore
the fate you have been given.”
Keito yanked his hand back and threw an ice cold glance at Yuri. “I am just doing my job, Listening to
Ryosuke’s stories.”
“You are playing favorites by only Listening to him Keito, you’re already emotionally involved with
him.”
Yuri looked sad. So sad, Keito almost would have stayed Up High to tell him he really wasn’t.
But a cry pierced right through his soul. Ryosuke’s cry.
“I won’t lose my wings, not as long as Ryosuke needs me.”
With those words he took off, leaving Yuri alone in the white hall. The Guardian Angel bit his lip.
He had warned him, he had already gone against the rules by warning him and from there on his
hands were tied. A sad sigh released from his lips. His small shoulders slumped. His wings folded
themselves.
When would Ryosuke stop needing him?
Keito almost choked on his own salvia when he understood why Ryosuke was crying. He was in love.
Head over heels with a boy in his class. His best friend. A tall, cheerful boy named Yuto.
He hadn’t noticed since today and for the high schooler, the hit was one too big to take.
As if being gay wasn’t enough of a secret to keep, now he also had to keep quiet about his crush.
With every word he spoke, Ryosuke seemed to break down a little more and it broke Keito’s heart. In
a more than just a selfish way.
That night Ryosuke cried in his pillow that he should have seen it coming, should have stopped it.
Keito cried along with him. But for a different reason.
Up until that moment it had never crossed Keito’s mind that Ryosuke was able to fall in love and
that these feelings could even be returned. Ryosuke being gay and Keito being the only one knowing
about this, was as if Ryosuke was locked in this glass box, only for Keito to look at. However, now the
Angel realized that if he was able to see how great Ryosuke was, someone else would be able to see
it too. Especially if that someone was a living person, Ryosuke’s best friend.
Keito knew that if these forbidden feelings would be returned, he would lose Ryosuke. If this so-
called best friend of his was in love with him too, it meant Ryosuke would be able to share all his
forbidden stories with that boy. He wouldn’t need to talk to the stuffed animal underneath his pillow
anymore. He wouldn’t need Keito anymore.
Keito needed a plan. Ryosuke had to become an Angel too.
All Keito needed to do was to make sure Ryosuke died.
The plan was simple; he had to make Ryosuke believe no one would love him if he ever spoke up
about his feelings and push him to the point that he would think it would be for the best if he just
died.
And it would be for the best, he could be together with Keito. A new Angel does not remember
anything about his mortal life, about the hardships they had, so technically Keito would be doing him
a favor.
Keito had learned Angels could whisper into someone’s ears if they just tried hard enough, though it
was actually forbidden for those who were not told to Speak. But no one would notice and it would
be for the greater good. Ryosuke would be happier as an Angel anyway.
Keito would just whisper in Ryosuke’s ear that he was disgusting and that he should follow his father
so his mom could finally have a normal life, without having to worry for her homo son every
day.
It took a while for Keito to gather courage and actually speak these words, words he did not mean. It
was horrible to see Ryosuke breaking down the first time because of what he thought were his own
thoughts.
Just like the first time they met, Ryosuke cried. Big crystal tears slid down his cheeks as he curled up
in a ball on his bed. He pulled his knees together as his body shocked while he tried to hold back his
loud, wailing sobs. He was afraid his mother would hear him.
Keito cried with him, told himself he was doing this for Ryosuke. That he was helping this boy to
move on, to move to a greater place. It would hurt now, but he would end up being happier when all
was over.
That horrible first night, when Ryosuke was asleep Keito leaned over and whispered in his
ear, “this hurts now, but it’ll all be over soon.”
“Soon” didn’t happen soon enough.
Ryosuke was extremely resistant. He was strong and levelheaded. He told the voices in his head he
refused to let them win. As long as he could keep up the act he had been playing for over the years,
every thing would be fine. His mom would still love him and his best friend would still be around. He
could manage.
The strong personality that Keito had admired before now started to bother him. Night after night he
sat besides Ryosuke’s bed, kneeling down and whispering terrible words in the young male’s ear.
Terrifying scenarios about when his classmates would find out, the shame his mother would feel if
she ever discovered his secret and Yuto being disgusted with him were poured into Ryosuke’s mind.
It always ended with the words “they would be better off without you.”
As much as Ryosuke tried to resist the voices in his head, to Keito it was obvious he was taking them
into account. He had become weary of his friends, short in his answers; he even kept Yuto at a safe
distance.
It was tough and took Keito longer than he had thought it would, but slowly he was breaking Ryosuke
down.
The final blow was made by no other than Ryosuke himself.
On a warm spring afternoon he ran into the house. Panting he managed to get into his room before
his mom could ask him anything. His face was red and wet from tears and sweat. It was clear he had
been running all the way and Keito observed him with an arched brow.
Ryosuke ran right through him, arms wielding and digging underneath his plush. When he finally
found it, he pressed the stuffed animal to his chest and dropped his own body on the bed where it
frantically started shaking.
Husked breaths tried to cover up loud sobs ad Keito sat down on the edge of the bed, his wings
caressing the living boy.
“I… Kissed… Him…” Ryosuke managed to speak in between sobs and it seemed like Keito’s time was
stopped.
“I couldn’t help it, he was so close, it was so warm.”
Frozen on the spot, Keito listened to the words.
“He didn’t push me away, he didn’t lean in either. Before he could react I ran away. I didn’t know
what to do. He must hate me now.”
“Of course he does, silly boy. You kissed him, you went against your own nature and you kissed
him. He hates you now. When you arrive at school tomorrow everyone will laugh, scream and look
at you. You filthy homo, you kissed another male. And your mother, your poor mother. What must
she think of her gay son? A gay son that kisses other people whenever he pleases. The shame. Poor
woman.”
Keito’s voice was low and piercing. Ryosuke’s body had stopped shaking, instead he just looked at
the wall with an unreadable expression. It was as if all the air got sucked out of his lungs, he
didn’t bother to breathe in some new again. He just lay there on the bed, listening to the voice in his
head.
“There is only one thing you can do now. Kill yourself. Kill yourself before someone else does it.
Kill yourself before you will have to face your poor, poor mother. Release her. Give her back the life
you took, in vain.”
Ryosuke’s hands reached for his head. His fingers intertwined with his hair. He pulled the soft strands
of dark brown locks, gritting his teeth. He wanted to scream but he couldn’t, he wished he could just
continue crying and find comfort in his mother’s lap, so she could tell him everything would be fine in
a while.
But he knew that wouldn’t happen, so he just pulled his hair until big chunks of the dark brown mass
on his head were ripped off his skull. Tears had started streaming down his cheeks again, but his
breathing was steady.
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
City lights illuminated the night. With a cap pulled over his eyes and ears Ryosuke passed cars and
people. Some eyed the boy that seemed to be too young to be out late at night all by his own.
Little did they know, he wasn't alone. Keito was following him, contently. After tonight Ryosuke
would be his. After all those weeks of following the young male, he would finally be able to make him
his.
At a busy crossroad Ryosuke halted, pulling the cap off his head. People passed him, hurrying before
they would miss the green light.
The light for those who were by feet turned red and Ryosuke swallowed away a lump in his throat.
“I’m sorry mom… Yuto.”
The light for cars changed its color and cars pulled up from their spot. Ryosuke closed his eyes, took 3
steps backwards and nodded to himself.
This was it.
Keito closed his eyes counted from three to one.
Three. Ryosuke jumped forward, landing on the middle of the road.
Two. There was a scream, the sound of a car being stepped on its breaks.
One… Keito opened his eyes.
They widened in surprise, seeing Ryosuke safely with his face down on the pavement. H saw how
Ryosuke got up, staring at the road. He saw how the boy’s eyes filled with horror as he scrambled up
and made his way to where he had been only second before.
In his place lay a young male.
Ryosuke dropped himself next to the body, his hands grasped those of the other boy.
“Yuto…” he sobbed, pulling the taller boy’s hands to his chest.
“Yuto… Why did you-”
Yuto opened his eyes, a faint smile ghosted on his lips.
“I…”
“Don’t, don’t speak. You need to-you need to stay still. An ambulance will be here soon. They will
take you to the hospital. You’ll be fine, save your energy, Yuto.”
Yuto closed his eyes as Ryosuke’s fingers intertwined with his. “I’m glad you’re safe,” Yuto’s
weak voice spoke.
Horrified Ryosuke looked at him. His eyes were big, red and swollen. An endless stream of tears
streamed down his cheeks, wetting his face. “Don’t say that, thanks to me you are-I’m such an idiot.
Just don’t say that.”
“You were gone so fast, today… I never had the chance… To kiss you back,” Yuto continued,
ignoring Ryosuke’s sobs and incoherent words.
“What are you talking about?” Ryosuke cried, bringing his head to Yuto’s chest now. “What are you
saying Yuto? Yuto, speak to me.”
But Yuto didn’t speak anymore. His lungs pushed out their last bit of air, before Yuto’s heart had
stopped due the hit it had taken and his body became numb.
“Yuto! Yuto stay with me! Don’t do this to me! Yuto!”
Ryosuke’s cries echoed in the back as Keito watched the scene unfolding in front of his eyes. As if had
been the one being hit by the car, he finally woke up, for the first time in weeks he seemed to realize
what was going on. What he had done.
He looked down at Ryosuke, the boy he loved so much and felt his heart aching. He realized this was
entirely his fault. He realized all the mistakes he had made. But only now, now when was far too late
and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.
He had denied his fate, he had betrayed his friends and above that… He had ruined the life of a boy
who could have been living a dream right now, if only he hadn’t interfered with it.
Now he could think clearly, he wished he could just turn back time and stop himself before it turned
out to be like this.
“Why am I not surprised to see you here?” His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.
Keito looked next to him, where Yuri stood tall (as far as he managed to). “What are you doing
here?”
“I'm coming to get him,” Yuri spoke, looking at the tall boy, now tugged between Ryosuke's arms.
“You can't,” Keito said.
Yuri raised a brow, he unfolded his silver wings, making his posture looking more impressive. "And
why is that?"
Keito bit his lower lip, his silence was drowned in the loud sobs coming from Ryosuke, begging for
Yuto to come back to him. The Angel closed his eyes, one more time listening to his wings unfolding.
"Because he loves him."
“You only realize that now?” Yuri had tried to sound sarcastic, but instead he just sounded like he
had been dreading to hear those words, for Keito to realize.
Keito shook his head, “no, I knew. I just… Didn’t want to see it.”
“It’s too late now,” Yuri spoke, looking down at the two humans, the living one unaware of the
presence of the two Angels. “He’s gone, Keito. They’re already busy giving him his wings.”
Keito stole one last glance of Ryosuke and Yuto on the ground. “It’s not too late.”
He grabbed Yuri by the shoulders and pulled the small Guardian Angel in a tight embrace. Startled by
the sudden hug, Yuri wasn’t fast enough to pull away and motionless he stayed in Keito’s arms.
“I’m sorry for not listening and I’m sorry for being the first one on your list.”
“Keito…” Yuri wanted to speak, to ask Keito what he was planning to do, even though he had a good
idea of what that was.
Keito just smiled, his eyes warm and bright, just like the first time he and Yuri met.
He kneeled down next to Ryosuke and Yuto.
“I’m sorry Ryosuke, for putting you through this,” he whispered next to the boy’s ear.
He then placed his hands on Yuto’s chest and started moving his wings. He remembered the first
time he flew with these wings, making the same motion as he did at the time. Only this time this
journey wasn’t his first, but his final.
All Yuri could do was watch how Keito gave up his wings to save the lover of the one he loved the
most.
As the wings started moving faster, their feathers started to fly off their roots. They dawned upon the
tall boy’s body, covering them in a blanket of soft white, invisible to the living eye.
When Keito’s wings stopped moving, there were no feathers apparent anymore. Instead, only the
empty atomy of what used to be a graceful set of feathers was visible on his back.
Keito looked over his shoulder where his eyes met Yuri's. It was over for him.
Yuto started breathing again. Grasping for air, he struggled in Ryosuke’s iron hold. Startled, Ryosuke
let go of him, giving Yuto the room he needed to catch his breath.
“Yuto…”
“Don’t cry Ryo-chan,” Yuto spoke, weakly.
Sobbing Ryosuke dug his head in Yuto’s chest, softly crying out his name. In return, Yuto’s long arms
wrapped themselves around the smaller body, keeping it close to his own. He kissed Ryosuke’s
hair, promised he would never leave him if Ryosuke promised to do the same and in between sobs
Ryosuke answered that he would never let go of him anymore.
Neither of the boys could see the shadow of what used to be an Angel hovering over them.
But Yuri could.
“Thank you, Yuri…”
Tears streamed down the small Angel’s face as he watched Keito’s smile fade and his silhouette
disappear in thin air.
Now, finally, Yuri understood why Keito had become a Listener. With the last bit of cold air, that
used to be the bright young Angel, Yuri heard it too.
The sound of rustling sheets, a child being put to bed, finally... For a long, peaceful rest.