losing a little more faith in humanity

[raincrystal]

Walt related a story to me on the phone about potentially hanging out with his ex-fiancee, Carol. She had wanted him to go over to her sorority house at the college with all of her old sorority sisters (who used to really like Walt back when he and Carol were in college and engaged.) However, it turns out that now all said sorority sisters hate him

Comments

[raincrystal]

Hmm, it's possible, but I also know that a lot of people like him on first meeting him-- and that generally when they DON'T, he's able to perceive it and gets sort of arch about it, rather than being deceived into thinking that they like him. He's a brutally honest person in that regard.

I haven't seen the situation first-hand, though, so I have no judgment on the matter beyond that.

[raincrystal]

...What bothers me, actually, is not the idea of "omg they never liked him and were lying," so much as the idea that perhaps they never, either then or now, had any feelings towards him whatsoever-- that their feelings are just pasted-on things according to how they think they ought to react to him. I would be uncomfortable for his sake in a "gee, that sucks" way if they once disliked him, but more okay with it-- after all, they were pretending to be polite, then. But if the feelings were ALL pasted on, that makes me uncomfortable in a different and more general sort of way. Illustrating how everything is just so... depersonalized... about so many people's relations. The shallowness of it all.

[hojit]

At least you didn't get called disgusting and pathetic in the school paper yesterday. =P

[raincrystal]

Did you? Argh. Was it an ad hominem attack to something you'd written in about, or what? That sucks.

[hojit]

No, it wasn't me specifically. It was the two homosexual couples that got their picture put on the front page from the "Valentines kiss-out" or whatever it was they had on campus earlier this week. And kind of all homosexuals by association, but not me specifically.

Of course, he got about a dozen uncomplimentary letters printed back to him today, so I suppose all's fair in love and war...

[raincrystal]

Oh. Well, at least there was retribution. >___

[cadaya]

It is pretty sad, and it is pretty devaluing to individuality and each person's own unique worth, and you're right, people shouldn't treat other people like that... but I can't say I'm surprised. Maybe I'm desensitized to the concept, but this is exactly the sort of thing I expect from members of institutions that are centered around groupthink and extreme commonality to the exclusion of anyone outside of that circle. I've met some members of fraternities and sororities that do not meet this description, but they're few and far between. Fraternities and sororities, more than anything else I've seen in life, foster that sort of hive-mindedness, the idea of placing this institution on a pedestal and anyone who besmirches it or isn't aligned with it is worthy of scorn

[raincrystal]

*nods* As I said, we kind of always knew it was the case-- but that doesn't prevent it from making me wince when I see it.

[cadaya]

Oh, I'd wince, too. I'd be really upset for any friend it happened to, simply because I tend to be extremely protective of my friends. And I'd probably go and do something regretable where the sorority girls are concerned.

Well, probably not. But I'd get really angry and *think* of mean things to do.

[raincrystal]

Damn that not-putting-plans-into-practice thing. XP

[luna_manar]

People are fickle by nature. It's really to be expected, I guess...not condoned, mind, but expected. After I broke up with Brian, his parents and brothers all decided they hated my guts and my family, and will no longer speak to us.

They're nice to you for as long as it suits their purposes, but once your potential use is defunct, it's easier to just hate you.

This is another reason why I hate group interaction. I don't feel I can trust a friendship is genuine unless I have an individual relationship with each and every person.

[raincrystal]

Yeah, it's not like I felt any real surprise about it, but it was sad to have it shoved in my face that way.

[luna_manar]

I figured you weren't surprised...wasn't saying you were. Just talking.

[raincrystal]

Yeah. Well, I just realized you posted a wincing-thing in your journal and I was all like, "Aw, I knew it was that way," and then I did the same thing and you were like, "Aw, I knew it was that way," so it's kind of ironic. XP

[raincrystal]

Sororities can breed ignorance, but I think the real problem is just how many people don't notice their own shallowness, sorority-induced or not. What it makes *me* hate is smalltalk without any substance...