Send the dove. Bring her a star. Throw me a raven. Spoon out my heart.
The other day something happened that really got me thinking. In no way could i describe my thoughts in words to you. So here is the story.
Last Tuesday, we had a practice cross country meet in Portland, against them, Bacon, and...well I don't remember who the other team was. And frankly it doesn't matter for this story. Anyway, I was walking through a wooded part of the course with Kathryn Bombard and we were cheering for all the guys who went by us, no matter which team they were on. We were crossing the road to get to the other wooded section, and we stopped by these two girls (from Bacon I think) and ther four of us cheered for a while, and one, in an orange-y yellow tye-dye shirt got a cookie from Kathryn. Then we kept walking. Later, I was standing near the end of the course, cheering for some of the last guys coming around, and the girl in the tye-dye shirt comes running over to me. She said "You're probably going to think I'm really weird and this is really random or something...but could i just see your wrist?" So I showed her my wrist. And naturally scars don't just disappear, even when you wish them to, so she could obviously see the scars near my elbow joint, and where you can still clearly see "hell" on my arm. And she asked me if i still did that. and I told her no, i haven't in almost five months. and she said good. and then she told me how her sister had done that, and she had gotten taken away and how she didn't want that to happen to anyone else. And she started crying, so i just sort of gave her this big hug, and told her not to worry, i haven't done it in a long time. After a minute, she pulled away and said "I'm glad you're better now" we said bye, and she ran off. I just stood there for a second, sort of thinking about what had just happened, and a weird feeling came over me. sort of peaceful, and sort of like something major had just happened in my life. yet it was so simple. i wish i knew the girl's name, but i guess that will just remain a mystery.
And to go along with my above story, as of yesterday, I have not cut in exactly 5 months. i am quite proud of myself. And so instead of waiting for more babysitting jobs to come, I am going to take some money out of my bank account, and treat myself to a new digital camera, and also tonight something else, probably a hair straightener or something, who knows. Because I am proud of myself and i think i deserve to splurge on a little something for me.