Fringe Drabble: Fairytales (spoilers for 4:03 and 4:04

[rainer76]

Comments

[kernezelda]

Oh, this is a kick in the gut, visceral and horrifying. Those last two paragraphs are killer. Really well done, Rainer.

On a technical note, check your tenses.

[rainer76]

Technical notes - meaning the last sentence, yes?

[kernezelda]

I think it works well, drawing me into the immediacy of that dying child lost on the lake bottom, but I didn't know if it was intentional or not.

[rainer76]

It was intentional. I just wasn't sure if it worked, or if it's more distracting.