dream ♐ 01
Warning: Crack. Complete. Utter. Crack. And very dream-like (or as best as I could write it). Also, if you like candy canes or have some kind of fear with them, I suggest you look away now.
Effects: ...Sheer "terror"?.
-------------------------------------
"...Raven..."
Ah, a sweet, sultry voice. He could feel those luscious lips brushing against his ear, and a smile slowly grew. He was in bed, and he knew, just knew that he was sharing it with some gorgeous babe. So without even opening his eyes, he let out a groggy chuckle as he turned, an arm moving to be placed around her.
"Mmm...honey I-"
...Wait a minute. Something didn't feel...right. Was a body supposed to feel so, well, hard and freezing? Oh God, don't tell me I've been sleepin' with a dead person-!
Who knows why he thought that first, but he did. Immediately his eyes shot open, retracting his whole self as he shot backwards. But what was sitting on his bed was neither the gorgeous babe he had been so sure of, nor a corpse (thank God), but a...
"...Candy cane!?" he yelled, his voice rising in horror. It was then when he noticed he was fully clothed and wearing some strange chef outfit. Complete with the hat. But when he looked back at the candy cane, he noticed something even worse: it actually had a fine pair of legs, too! He also wasn't sure what was creepier: just the fact that there was a giant candy cane or the fact that the face looked like it was floating in front.
"Raven?" the candy cane seemed to speak, those hovering lips oddly attractive. What was this strange hazy, floral background appearing...? "What's wrong? Come back, I need you...!"
Unfortunately (or fortunately), Raven wasn't buying it. "Oh no. Oh hell no! I'm sure you're a really nice, uh, candy cane, but I gotta go and open the tavern. Or something like that." Without further ado, he scrambled upward. "So uh-"
"No!" the candy cane suddenly yelled, its voice warbling into some strange, deep, monster-like voice. The once red and white stripes started to change to an odd color of dark red and black. ...Was this normal? "No...I need you Raven...I NEED YOU TO EAT ME!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Raven screamed as he turned to escape through the door.
But he couldn't! The door had turned into a giant block of ice.
"Oh you gotta be-WAH!" The old man managed to dodge just in time as the possessed candy cane suddenly lunged forward, the end of the shaft digging into the block.
"EAT ME!"
"Never! he yelled in defiance, and then bolted toward the only obvious exit: a strange hole in the wall.
As soon as he crawled through, he stood up and leaned heavily against the wall, trying to ignore the crazy thrashings and yelling from the candy cane from the previous room.
"I am getting too old for this," Raven said in a dry voice, a hand over his chest.
But the respite wouldn't last for long. Soon he felt something sticky wrap around his legs, pulling him downward. When he looked, he let out another scream as he discovered strange chocolate globs grabbing at him, making weird, creepy sounds that no man could possibly describe.
Worse yet, there was no escape! Somehow the wall, the hole, and the room had just vanished.
"Help! Someone help me!!" he cried as he frantically tried to free himself. It was at the precise moment a rope of licorice suddenly appeared before him, followed by a familiar voice:
"Hey old man, grab this! We'll pull you out."
"Yuri...!" Without any hesitation, he quickly grabbed the licorice rope, not caring what it was, and just let himself be pulled out of that sticky situation. He had no idea where he was, or where he was going, but soon he was pulled through a large hole to the outside. The ground was covered in snow, and he was freezing, but it was better out here than down there. As soon as he reached it, he just collapsed to the ground, an arm over his eyes.
"Hey, Raven, are you okay?" Karol's worried voice said near him.
"T'ch, he's fine," Rita's immediately followed.
"If you need a healing spell, I can give you one!" Ah, sweet Estelle.
"I must admit, that was rather strange," Judith chimed in. "It's a good thing we had the rope."
"Seriously, old man, how did you even get down there?" Yuri's voice asked.
"I don't even know," Raven only said with a groan. "I just woke up and suddenly there was this crazy candy...cane..."
At this point, Raven had started to sit up and open his eyes. Immediately, he wished he had kept them closed. For before him stood all of his friends...but as candy canes. They all had the character's respective clothing, the creepy faces, and even the hair! All he could do was just stare.
"Raven, are you all right? You look a little pale," Flynn's voice suddenly came from behind. Caught by surprise, Raven let out another yell as he whirled around. This made him lose his balance, and he promptly fell back into the snow.
"F....Flynn!?"
"Hm, it's probably because you're still stuck like that," Candy Cane Flynn continued, slowly advancing upon him. "Yuri, can you give me a hand?"
"Yeah, sure. I'll hold him down."
"If you even try to escape, I'll fry you," Candy Cane Rita's voice called from the side.
"Don't worry, Raven, it doesn't hurt at all!" Candy Cane Estelle said, her voice oh so sugary sweet.
"Huh? Wha-!? What are you tryin' ta do to me!?" Raven continued to cry out as he tried to escape. But the snow had turned into some strange gooey ice cream. He couldn't seem to stand.
Candy Cane Karol just laughed. "Turn you into one of us, duh! You'll feel better, seriously."
"Even Repede is one, see?" Candy Cane Judith said, and turned to show a Candy Cane Repede just sitting there, watching. Pipe and all.
"No! No I don't wanna be a candy cane! Anything but that, please!!" Raven cried.
"What flavor should he be?" Candy Cane Estelle wondered.
"Coconut," Candy Cane Rita said dryly.
"Coconut? Why coconut?" Candy Cane Karol asked.
"Because I hate coconut."
This...this can't be happening...! I gotta get out. Someone save me-!
Suddenly all of them were looming over him, and he could see the original candy cane just hovering above them all, laughing as the group suddenly chanted the following:
"One of us...one of us...one of us...one of us..."
"No! Never! I'll never be-AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
It was too late! It was happening! The strange ice cream goo was wrapping around him, and he could feel his feet starting to meld together, his body slowly starting to curve.
"NO...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
-------------------------------------
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[thrashing around] AAAAAH HELP! SOMEONE SAVE ME! THE GOOP- I DON'T WANNA BE TURNED INTO A CANDY CANE!!!
[well that might explain his dream. apparently he had fallen asleep on top of a candy cane striped toffee chair, and it had started to sink in and was beginning to envelop him.]
Effects: ...Sheer "terror"?.
-------------------------------------
"...Raven..."
Ah, a sweet, sultry voice. He could feel those luscious lips brushing against his ear, and a smile slowly grew. He was in bed, and he knew, just knew that he was sharing it with some gorgeous babe. So without even opening his eyes, he let out a groggy chuckle as he turned, an arm moving to be placed around her.
"Mmm...honey I-"
...Wait a minute. Something didn't feel...right. Was a body supposed to feel so, well, hard and freezing? Oh God, don't tell me I've been sleepin' with a dead person-!
Who knows why he thought that first, but he did. Immediately his eyes shot open, retracting his whole self as he shot backwards. But what was sitting on his bed was neither the gorgeous babe he had been so sure of, nor a corpse (thank God), but a...
"...Candy cane!?" he yelled, his voice rising in horror. It was then when he noticed he was fully clothed and wearing some strange chef outfit. Complete with the hat. But when he looked back at the candy cane, he noticed something even worse: it actually had a fine pair of legs, too! He also wasn't sure what was creepier: just the fact that there was a giant candy cane or the fact that the face looked like it was floating in front.
"Raven?" the candy cane seemed to speak, those hovering lips oddly attractive. What was this strange hazy, floral background appearing...? "What's wrong? Come back, I need you...!"
Unfortunately (or fortunately), Raven wasn't buying it. "Oh no. Oh hell no! I'm sure you're a really nice, uh, candy cane, but I gotta go and open the tavern. Or something like that." Without further ado, he scrambled upward. "So uh-"
"No!" the candy cane suddenly yelled, its voice warbling into some strange, deep, monster-like voice. The once red and white stripes started to change to an odd color of dark red and black. ...Was this normal? "No...I need you Raven...I NEED YOU TO EAT ME!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Raven screamed as he turned to escape through the door.
But he couldn't! The door had turned into a giant block of ice.
"Oh you gotta be-WAH!" The old man managed to dodge just in time as the possessed candy cane suddenly lunged forward, the end of the shaft digging into the block.
"EAT ME!"
"Never! he yelled in defiance, and then bolted toward the only obvious exit: a strange hole in the wall.
As soon as he crawled through, he stood up and leaned heavily against the wall, trying to ignore the crazy thrashings and yelling from the candy cane from the previous room.
"I am getting too old for this," Raven said in a dry voice, a hand over his chest.
But the respite wouldn't last for long. Soon he felt something sticky wrap around his legs, pulling him downward. When he looked, he let out another scream as he discovered strange chocolate globs grabbing at him, making weird, creepy sounds that no man could possibly describe.
Worse yet, there was no escape! Somehow the wall, the hole, and the room had just vanished.
"Help! Someone help me!!" he cried as he frantically tried to free himself. It was at the precise moment a rope of licorice suddenly appeared before him, followed by a familiar voice:
"Hey old man, grab this! We'll pull you out."
"Yuri...!" Without any hesitation, he quickly grabbed the licorice rope, not caring what it was, and just let himself be pulled out of that sticky situation. He had no idea where he was, or where he was going, but soon he was pulled through a large hole to the outside. The ground was covered in snow, and he was freezing, but it was better out here than down there. As soon as he reached it, he just collapsed to the ground, an arm over his eyes.
"Hey, Raven, are you okay?" Karol's worried voice said near him.
"T'ch, he's fine," Rita's immediately followed.
"If you need a healing spell, I can give you one!" Ah, sweet Estelle.
"I must admit, that was rather strange," Judith chimed in. "It's a good thing we had the rope."
"Seriously, old man, how did you even get down there?" Yuri's voice asked.
"I don't even know," Raven only said with a groan. "I just woke up and suddenly there was this crazy candy...cane..."
At this point, Raven had started to sit up and open his eyes. Immediately, he wished he had kept them closed. For before him stood all of his friends...but as candy canes. They all had the character's respective clothing, the creepy faces, and even the hair! All he could do was just stare.
"Raven, are you all right? You look a little pale," Flynn's voice suddenly came from behind. Caught by surprise, Raven let out another yell as he whirled around. This made him lose his balance, and he promptly fell back into the snow.
"F....Flynn!?"
"Hm, it's probably because you're still stuck like that," Candy Cane Flynn continued, slowly advancing upon him. "Yuri, can you give me a hand?"
"Yeah, sure. I'll hold him down."
"If you even try to escape, I'll fry you," Candy Cane Rita's voice called from the side.
"Don't worry, Raven, it doesn't hurt at all!" Candy Cane Estelle said, her voice oh so sugary sweet.
"Huh? Wha-!? What are you tryin' ta do to me!?" Raven continued to cry out as he tried to escape. But the snow had turned into some strange gooey ice cream. He couldn't seem to stand.
Candy Cane Karol just laughed. "Turn you into one of us, duh! You'll feel better, seriously."
"Even Repede is one, see?" Candy Cane Judith said, and turned to show a Candy Cane Repede just sitting there, watching. Pipe and all.
"No! No I don't wanna be a candy cane! Anything but that, please!!" Raven cried.
"What flavor should he be?" Candy Cane Estelle wondered.
"Coconut," Candy Cane Rita said dryly.
"Coconut? Why coconut?" Candy Cane Karol asked.
"Because I hate coconut."
This...this can't be happening...! I gotta get out. Someone save me-!
Suddenly all of them were looming over him, and he could see the original candy cane just hovering above them all, laughing as the group suddenly chanted the following:
"One of us...one of us...one of us...one of us..."
"No! Never! I'll never be-AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"
It was too late! It was happening! The strange ice cream goo was wrapping around him, and he could feel his feet starting to meld together, his body slowly starting to curve.
"NO...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
-------------------------------------
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[thrashing around] AAAAAH HELP! SOMEONE SAVE ME! THE GOOP- I DON'T WANNA BE TURNED INTO A CANDY CANE!!!
[well that might explain his dream. apparently he had fallen asleep on top of a candy cane striped toffee chair, and it had started to sink in and was beginning to envelop him.]