hmm, i seem to have lost what i wanted out of this existence. sucks. i was talking to estevan last night about moving back home to get my barrings. i keep trying to add him into my equation, and every time i do, i get nothing. is it selfish to leave him out ( Read more... )

i'm going harry potter craaaazy! J.K. Rowling has taken over my brain!! i was comparing things to witches, broomsticks, and wizards in my head all day yeserday. wt to the f. still on the freakin 4th book! i need to speed this reading up! btw, what is deathly hallows? i just read up on it. the last book??!

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i wish it were daylight and i was outside
not here
if only there were more empty fields and wildflowers (could i be more hippie longstocking??)
crickets in the sunlight, lightening bugs in moonlight
and trees

how nice. how pleasantly serene...(like the fields in pride and prejudice)

i have a hankerin' to write. i want to write a lot. research, stories, poems, whatever. i haven't written anything seriously since may. suddenly it's very strange not to have something serious writen in such a long time. i've had all day to think about this. notebooks are standing by...

i'm scared. my birthday's coming up and i don't even care. i haven't planned anything, haven't held the annual countdown, haven't chosen where to go for dinner. i think i will be terribly sad if i don't have something happen. there's just nothing that i really want to do. i'm doubtful anyone would have time to show up if i had something happen. i'm ( Read more... )

i returned from california two nights ago. hi everyone! i'm sure ALL of you were wondering where i was...haha. actually only two people were confused as to why i didn't tell them. i forgot, ok. sorry.

i was in the north part of california for about 4 days. we stayed in roseville, and played in san fransisco. we went up to placerville to this place ( Read more... )

you know it took me forever to remember what drove brian wilson toward his depression. i was like, stuck in this standstill inside the history of the beach boys...ok i remember they got together in 1961. Surfin' was the top hit in 1962, Little Sweet 16 vs. Surfin Safari, Help Me Rhonda kicking out the Beatles, Pet Sounds...LSD! brian wilson hearing ( Read more... )

it's been a drag. it's REALLY been a drag. through life. i'm dragging through it all and i don't even care. these people think their words are so important as they speak to me on healthy ways of living. sitting in a freezer, they're words harden cold, and mean nothing. working here. getting sick and spending money on expensive tastes. all the while ( Read more... )

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 as i was re-doing the about me section in myspace, i realized that what i was writiing didn't quite fit the category. in fact it sounded a little crazy. still, i wanted this writing somewhere. livejournal is good for such things. this is what i worte (pretend it's myspace):

ABOUT ME
my computer freezes a lot. luckily, i have a laptop, which can ( Read more... )