his eyes were green like july. except when he cried. they were red.
and if i did finally decide to tell you everything. everything that's been haunting me for the past two years. it wouldn't do any good. because you wouldn't care enough to listen.
i woke up and the sun was rising and i found myself in that god forsaken field again. the one with flowers and grass. the one that seemed like every other field in this fucking town. this town that was like every other fucking town. i didn't know where you were. you were gone again. and i was alone and i was scared. i'll admit it. i was really fucking scared.then i remembered you were never in that field with me to begin with. so i got up and dusted myself off. stumbled along the street. until i reached my front porch. then i collapsed.
i woke up surronded by men in white uniforms. they all looked very calm like nothing was wrong. i wasn't scared anymore. until i saw you sitting with them. you looked like your world had been torn apart. mistakesmistakesmistakes. we all make mistakes. i couldn't remember how many pills i had taken. i wasn't sure if i was even awake. i couldn't tell if this was just another one of my dreams. hell, i didn't even know if you were acctually sitting in that ambulance with me. so i just closed my eyes.
i woke up in the warmth of my hospital room. i was alone again. the blinds were closed and the room smelled of death. there was a get well card on my night stand. and it wasn't from you. so i took a few more pills than i needed to. i really fucking missed you. did you know that?