So sorry to hear about what happened with your friends client. I hope that he is able to find his way through everything he will be dealing with in a healthy way.
#1: Vomiting here is good.:) I remember when the similar situation happened in your life. :( I remember some of the toll it took on your life. I'm aware, I was not aware of all of the ramifications. :( I hear the the expectations of doing what the two of you do for a living does "not" include "life threatening" environments. I hear that he has a great deal of meaning to you and that those two things combined are causing internal conflict. Does this show up in the dream scape? Why suppress the reflex? Have you checked in with him (or already know due to previous communication) that this isn't what he would want? need? Its good news that his first motions are an attempt to break out of old patterns. Do you know why he's attempting to break out of old patterns?
What questions are you asking yourself through all of this? Are there emotions or emotional states that you are re-living due to this resurfacing in your life? What mechanisms are you using to work through all of this other than processing here?
Does this show up in the dream scape? Yes. I dreamt something so alarming about him that I called him in the morning to ask if he was OK. This was two days before the event.
Why suppress the reflex? Have you checked in with him (or already know due to previous communication) that this isn't what he would want? need? The reflex to hold him too tightly is about MY feelings around him possibly dying. He doesn't need to be reassuring my insecurities when he's the one who actually went through the traumatic event.
Do you know why he's attempting to break out of old patterns? Because they don't work and are destroying his life.
What questions are you asking yourself through all of this? What would be most loving?
Are there emotions or emotional states that you are re-living due to this resurfacing in your life? Yes.
What mechanisms are you using to work through all of this other than processing here? None.
What precursor behavior to self-destruction would he most likely show and how could you help him off that path? He would
( ... )
Old Patterns: Is this far enough in the forefront of his consciousness that it will mitigate his desires to return to old ways? If not how could you help?
Most Loving: What are your answers?
Re-living emotional states: What are you doing to cope other than process here?
Self-destruction: Has he managed to avoid the deal breaker?
Committee: Zylle: Why "must" it damage the friendship? Cethryl: Somatic response to the emotional state? Or is there something else? Ethores: Could you expand on your feelings here? Vala: At the point of his fragility in this moment is this wise? Raash: :) Sheel: Yes, you could. At this point though his defenses are weak, not worthy of your skills, to easy.
What are his languages of love? Touch, Quality Time.
Old Patterns: Is this far enough in the forefront of his consciousness that it will mitigate his desires to return to old ways? If not how could you help? No. He was already struggling with the pull due to his relationship failing. This event on top of that one is ill-timed. But, so far, he is choosing to be around those who care about him instead of isolating. This is new.
Most Loving: What are your answers? I don't know.
Self-destruction: Has he managed to avoid the deal breaker? No.
Zylle: Why "must" it damage the friendship? Anger directed at us makes the relationship unsafe and damages trust. It is, therefore, unacceptable in our partnerships. He can choose to do it anyway and thereby limit any future closeness.
Cethryl: Somatic response to the emotional state? Or is there something else? I AM the somatic state.
Ethores: Could you expand on your feelings here? Just one more time
( ... )
Best wishes to #1 with the hope that he may find the path to wellness soon. I imagine #1 feels a certain amount of responsibility for the death. I can only imagine how he may feel to try to stop the madness and feel a life extinguished. I pray you can help him see his way through this.
In re: P.S. Apparently, when it rains...it does indeed pour.
I see a pattern in life: when things look rough and not much traction is made, just wait...it will likely get worse.
He's doing pretty well on the path. Has stopped all substance use of any kind for the past 2 months. Went on a meditative retreat and is learning about prayer and revelation. So, he's taking the hard road, but a good road.
Comments 12
And @ your brother & his wife. Geez.
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--Randir
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Vomiting here is good.:)
I remember when the similar situation happened in your life. :(
I remember some of the toll it took on your life. I'm aware, I was not aware of all of the ramifications. :(
I hear the the expectations of doing what the two of you do for a living does "not" include "life threatening" environments. I hear that he has a great deal of meaning to you and that those two things combined are causing internal conflict.
Does this show up in the dream scape?
Why suppress the reflex? Have you checked in with him (or already know due to previous communication) that this isn't what he would want? need?
Its good news that his first motions are an attempt to break out of old patterns. Do you know why he's attempting to break out of old patterns?
What questions are you asking yourself through all of this? Are there emotions or emotional states that you are re-living due to this resurfacing in your life? What mechanisms are you using to work through all of this other than processing here?
**hugs**
Lot's of 'em.What ( ... )
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Yes. I dreamt something so alarming about him that I called him in the morning to ask if he was OK. This was two days before the event.
Why suppress the reflex? Have you checked in with him (or already know due to previous communication) that this isn't what he would want? need?
The reflex to hold him too tightly is about MY feelings around him possibly dying. He doesn't need to be reassuring my insecurities when he's the one who actually went through the traumatic event.
Do you know why he's attempting to break out of old patterns? Because they don't work and are destroying his life.
What questions are you asking yourself through all of this? What would be most loving?
Are there emotions or emotional states that you are re-living due to this resurfacing in your life? Yes.
What mechanisms are you using to work through all of this other than processing here? None.
What precursor behavior to self-destruction would he most likely show and how could you help him off that path? He would ( ... )
Reply
Old Patterns: Is this far enough in the forefront of his consciousness that it will mitigate his desires to return to old ways? If not how could you help?
Most Loving: What are your answers?
Re-living emotional states: What are you doing to cope other than process here?
Self-destruction: Has he managed to avoid the deal breaker?
Committee:
Zylle: Why "must" it damage the friendship?
Cethryl: Somatic response to the emotional state? Or is there something else?
Ethores: Could you expand on your feelings here?
Vala: At the point of his fragility in this moment is this wise?
Raash: :)
Sheel: Yes, you could. At this point though his defenses are weak, not worthy of your skills, to easy.
(more hugs)
Indi
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Old Patterns: Is this far enough in the forefront of his consciousness that it will mitigate his desires to return to old ways? If not how could you help? No. He was already struggling with the pull due to his relationship failing. This event on top of that one is ill-timed. But, so far, he is choosing to be around those who care about him instead of isolating. This is new.
Most Loving: What are your answers? I don't know.
Self-destruction: Has he managed to avoid the deal breaker? No.
Zylle: Why "must" it damage the friendship?
Anger directed at us makes the relationship unsafe and damages trust. It is, therefore, unacceptable in our partnerships. He can choose to do it anyway and thereby limit any future closeness.
Cethryl: Somatic response to the emotional state? Or is there something else?
I AM the somatic state.
Ethores: Could you expand on your feelings here?
Just one more time ( ... )
Reply
In re: P.S. Apparently, when it rains...it does indeed pour.
I see a pattern in life: when things look rough and not much traction is made, just wait...it will likely get worse.
Reply
--Randir
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