Happy Thought: The One With Brendon's Tattoo
So this is how patheticly gone on these boys I am. My computer is gone for six days and I have to resort to txting amy13 happy thoughts. (In 160 characters or less, even!) So this is an expansion on one of those.
So Spencer totally tells Brendon he can't keep a secret worth anything all the time, which is why--well, okay, not *why*, but it's a compelling reason for doing it--Brendon chooses not mention his Big News of the summer, well, over the summer. Not when he and Spencer (or Ryan, or Jon) talk on the phone; not in any of the mass emails that go out to all of the members of the house telling about summer activities: Travis and Bill and Gabe road tripping across America! Or, well, to Cleveland. Jon and Tom and Nick heading out to California for a week! Ryland doing community theater and having to perfect a--bad, Suarez claims--British accent!
No, Brendon manages not to talk about this at all, and he swears Nate and The Butcher to secrecy--um, sure? they said--and so it's, you know, actually a surprise when people see it. Where 'it', equals Brendon's new tattoo: a set of piano keys curving over his forearm, inked to look as if they're coming out of his skin.
*
It was a spontaneous thing: Cash talking about getting his two--two!--and how he was maybe thinking about a third, and it was a hot summer day, the two of them sprawled on the sofa in Cash and Shane's apartment, alternating between drinking their beers and letting the bottles rest against their foreheads, condensation dripping down towards their eyes, and Brendon said, "I think I want one."
Cash laughed, said, "Just like that, huh?" but Brendon didn't miss the way his eyes darkened just slightly at the thought, the way his fingers tightened around the bottle in his hand.
"Why the fuck not?" Brendon said. "It's going to be awesome."
Cash, he noticed, didn't disagree.
*
Not everyone, though, does seem to agree, because Ryan says, "What the fuck, Urie?" before grabbing Brendon's arm and forcibly twisting it, so he can see the entire design. Spencer just says, "When did you get it done?" and when Brendon tells him it's been months (months!) he maybe actually looks a little bit impressed that Brendon kept it quiet for so long.
Really, though, it doesn't matter what Spencer or Ryan think, because Brendon is pretty sure the tattoo is perfect for him. Piano keys! There is no bad there.
Even if he hadn't been absolutely sure immediately after, though, Cash, well.
Well, this is what Brendon doesn't tell Ryan or Spencer:
Sometimes when Brendon's in bed with Cash, he'll wake up to the feel of Cash touching his arm, tracing a finger over the keys. Sometimes, Cash will press harder, as if he's actually playing the notes: white keys, black keys, chords. Sometimes, Brendon can almost hear the melody in his head. If he slits his eyes open, peering at Cash through his lashes, he can see the look of concentration on Cash's face, the way he's completely focused on Brendon's arm, skin. These nights Brendon will keep his breathing even, steady, pretending he's still asleep until Cash's touch goes gentle again, until he falls back asleep himself.
Then Brendon lets himself smile.
And if he just happens to *have* to kiss Cash awake in the morning? Well, he just does.
So Spencer totally tells Brendon he can't keep a secret worth anything all the time, which is why--well, okay, not *why*, but it's a compelling reason for doing it--Brendon chooses not mention his Big News of the summer, well, over the summer. Not when he and Spencer (or Ryan, or Jon) talk on the phone; not in any of the mass emails that go out to all of the members of the house telling about summer activities: Travis and Bill and Gabe road tripping across America! Or, well, to Cleveland. Jon and Tom and Nick heading out to California for a week! Ryland doing community theater and having to perfect a--bad, Suarez claims--British accent!
No, Brendon manages not to talk about this at all, and he swears Nate and The Butcher to secrecy--um, sure? they said--and so it's, you know, actually a surprise when people see it. Where 'it', equals Brendon's new tattoo: a set of piano keys curving over his forearm, inked to look as if they're coming out of his skin.
*
It was a spontaneous thing: Cash talking about getting his two--two!--and how he was maybe thinking about a third, and it was a hot summer day, the two of them sprawled on the sofa in Cash and Shane's apartment, alternating between drinking their beers and letting the bottles rest against their foreheads, condensation dripping down towards their eyes, and Brendon said, "I think I want one."
Cash laughed, said, "Just like that, huh?" but Brendon didn't miss the way his eyes darkened just slightly at the thought, the way his fingers tightened around the bottle in his hand.
"Why the fuck not?" Brendon said. "It's going to be awesome."
Cash, he noticed, didn't disagree.
*
Not everyone, though, does seem to agree, because Ryan says, "What the fuck, Urie?" before grabbing Brendon's arm and forcibly twisting it, so he can see the entire design. Spencer just says, "When did you get it done?" and when Brendon tells him it's been months (months!) he maybe actually looks a little bit impressed that Brendon kept it quiet for so long.
Really, though, it doesn't matter what Spencer or Ryan think, because Brendon is pretty sure the tattoo is perfect for him. Piano keys! There is no bad there.
Even if he hadn't been absolutely sure immediately after, though, Cash, well.
Well, this is what Brendon doesn't tell Ryan or Spencer:
Sometimes when Brendon's in bed with Cash, he'll wake up to the feel of Cash touching his arm, tracing a finger over the keys. Sometimes, Cash will press harder, as if he's actually playing the notes: white keys, black keys, chords. Sometimes, Brendon can almost hear the melody in his head. If he slits his eyes open, peering at Cash through his lashes, he can see the look of concentration on Cash's face, the way he's completely focused on Brendon's arm, skin. These nights Brendon will keep his breathing even, steady, pretending he's still asleep until Cash's touch goes gentle again, until he falls back asleep himself.
Then Brendon lets himself smile.
And if he just happens to *have* to kiss Cash awake in the morning? Well, he just does.