Lost & Found office.
Character name: Devon McCabe.
Fandom: Highlander/oc watcher
Disclaimers: Highlander is owned by it's creators. Drew Barrymore owns herself.
Warning: None.
Challenge topic: Lost & Found office.
Rating: PG 13.
For random_fic
My husband, Alex, was many things. Four years regular army. SAS. G2 Ops. Mi6. Cricket and tennis fan. Long time friend of my dad. twenty years my senior. My first lover. My husband. My friend and the father of our child.
He was also a profound drunk.
For years my mum, my dad, his friends and later myself made excuses for his alcoholism. We let him make excuses for his alcoholism, till it came to a point when we all believed each others excuses. None of us wanted to believe Alex was a drunk with a problem.
It was easy to ignore the problem as we all loved him. Those who you love, they can never really do wrong. Even when they are drowning themselves in alcohol. Even when their addiction is destroying everything they love and everything that loves them. It’s easy to forgive them for it, because of the love.
I forgave him for the hitting, the abusive yelling. For when he smashed up the house. For when I found him having sex with other women. For when he took me when I really didn’t feel like having sex with him. I forgave him, loved him, and accepted the alcohol. I had to accept the alcohol, as deep down there’s the fear without the alcoholism he may not love and needed me so much. That thought alone made me forgive the alcohol, make excuses for it and pretend there really wasn’t a problem. All I was doing was putting on a band aid to cover up the bruising of the simple undeniable fact the man I loved, is and was a drunk. The band aid was a balm for the harsh fact, there was nothing on earth I could do to save him from drowning himself in alcohol.
That was what I wanted to do, try and save him. In reality, I should have been trying to save myself. But I had my own addiction-love-I was in love with him. How could I save myself from that?
I couldn’t and didn’t want too.
He never promised me a bed of roses, I never asked for it. Our marriage was what it was a marriage of three-Alex, myself and the alcohol. If Alex was alive today, I don’t know if our marriage would have survived the long term. I want to believe yes it could, but with a baby? What kind of person would I be to give a child a lifestyle like that?
It’s a question I don’t have to face, both Alex and the baby are gone, so is the alcohol. To this day, I honestly do not know if the alcohol took them both or if the icy conditions on the road that night was the only reason why the car crashed.
Frankly, I don’t want to know. I’ve allowed alcohol free reign over our lives for years and never questioned it, why start now.
Fandom: Highlander/oc watcher
Disclaimers: Highlander is owned by it's creators. Drew Barrymore owns herself.
Warning: None.
Challenge topic: Lost & Found office.
Rating: PG 13.
For random_fic
My husband, Alex, was many things. Four years regular army. SAS. G2 Ops. Mi6. Cricket and tennis fan. Long time friend of my dad. twenty years my senior. My first lover. My husband. My friend and the father of our child.
He was also a profound drunk.
For years my mum, my dad, his friends and later myself made excuses for his alcoholism. We let him make excuses for his alcoholism, till it came to a point when we all believed each others excuses. None of us wanted to believe Alex was a drunk with a problem.
It was easy to ignore the problem as we all loved him. Those who you love, they can never really do wrong. Even when they are drowning themselves in alcohol. Even when their addiction is destroying everything they love and everything that loves them. It’s easy to forgive them for it, because of the love.
I forgave him for the hitting, the abusive yelling. For when he smashed up the house. For when I found him having sex with other women. For when he took me when I really didn’t feel like having sex with him. I forgave him, loved him, and accepted the alcohol. I had to accept the alcohol, as deep down there’s the fear without the alcoholism he may not love and needed me so much. That thought alone made me forgive the alcohol, make excuses for it and pretend there really wasn’t a problem. All I was doing was putting on a band aid to cover up the bruising of the simple undeniable fact the man I loved, is and was a drunk. The band aid was a balm for the harsh fact, there was nothing on earth I could do to save him from drowning himself in alcohol.
That was what I wanted to do, try and save him. In reality, I should have been trying to save myself. But I had my own addiction-love-I was in love with him. How could I save myself from that?
I couldn’t and didn’t want too.
He never promised me a bed of roses, I never asked for it. Our marriage was what it was a marriage of three-Alex, myself and the alcohol. If Alex was alive today, I don’t know if our marriage would have survived the long term. I want to believe yes it could, but with a baby? What kind of person would I be to give a child a lifestyle like that?
It’s a question I don’t have to face, both Alex and the baby are gone, so is the alcohol. To this day, I honestly do not know if the alcohol took them both or if the icy conditions on the road that night was the only reason why the car crashed.
Frankly, I don’t want to know. I’ve allowed alcohol free reign over our lives for years and never questioned it, why start now.