AY YO I'M ALIVE
Phew! It's been a hot minute since I've been on here...
Uhhh... Bad news and good news.
Bad news first. I'm basically in permanent writer's block mode. Eh *shrug* It'll come back eventually.
Now on to the good news! (Beware, it's sappy and very unlike me, but whatever. Things change.) I've found my soul mate.
...Granted, I found him 12 years ago, and have been friends with him ever since, but only recently did I come to see that we've loved each other for years, but were too afraid to do anything. WELP! We finally decided to say 'fuck it' and he came down from where he lives (We're 746 miles apart btw. He moved away 11 years ago and I hadn't seen him irl since.). We spent an amazing week together and now I know what love is. Everything else before was infatuation. I'd never believed in soul mates or whatever before. But with him... There's always been this pull towards him in my heart that has never gone away.
He had to go home yesterday and I've got such a cold emptiness in my chest that refuses to go away, no matter how much hot tea I drink. I woke up this morning without him beside me and the first thing I did was cry. It's like I had to put the other half of my soul on that bus and watch it leave. Gods, that is THE worst feeling.
I've been single for almost 5 years until now. I'd vowed to stay single forever. I was done trying to find someone to love and to love me. But...he'd been there all along, and I had been too stubborn to realize it....
So anyway, he's got some shit to sort out back home before he moves down here. It'll be a few years because he plans on going back to school, too. In the mean time, we'll take turns visiting each other. Good things come to those who wait. I've seen LDR's work, and I believe we have the strength to keep this strong until we can be together all the time.
So like, this is us:
We're so gross. Oh well; don't care. XD
I'm off to bed... well.. basically it's stare-at-the-ceiling-until-I-pass-out because he's not here. Fml.