i had a doctors appointment yesterday, i have to go for blood tests next week to see if i have diabetes and cushings syndrome. i also need to see the nurse next week to get my blood pressure taken. im probably fine. i was reading an old journal the other day. its wierd how some thing have changed so much. im not self harming anymore. at the time of ( Read more... )

i wanted to cut today. i was feeling angry and aggrivated. i needed to feel something other else, since ive stopped cutting i havent replaced it with any other coping method. so i really needed to cut today. i didnt though. instead i made a list of 24 things to do before im 24 (which'll be june 15th this year). this is the list ( Read more... )

i've decided to have a break from bus. i feel like i've out grown it. ive been there for over 3 years. its time i leave for a while. i dont really need it much anymore. i dont have problems like everyone else, my life is ok. im just wasting space on there that other people could use. so im taking a break. it'll be hard though. i've been there ( Read more... )

I'm feeling so good right now. you see I emailed 1 of the people responsible for all this. I got their emailed address from my forum, you see thats how this started. they joined my forum, and used the link to their forum has their screen name. not very smart now. I emailed them asking them to take down the site on ED. and I realised something ( Read more... )

they made this site. a whole page, just mocking me. i thought when i left school the bullying would stop. and i cant get rid of the page. ED wont remove it. the only people who can remove it, are the ones who made it. so i emailed them, asking them to remove it. doubt they will. i cant help thinking if i was nicer this wouldnt have happened. i also ( Read more... )

i found something out today. there are people on bus who are laughing at me. but theyre not doing it on bus. theyre doing it in secret. i shouldnt have gone on the forum. i shouldnt have read the posts about me. and i should have joined and seen that they made a webpage about me. laughing at me. i know theyre pathetic wankers. i know i shouldnt let ( Read more... )

today was davids birthday. we went to a chinese restaurant thats on a boat. it was really nice. i drank quite a bit, but im not drunk. saw the eclipse when we came out of restaurant. it was cool. im home now. an old friend was there. he used to be one of my best friends, i loved him so much. i was even in love with him. but he stopped talking to me ( Read more... )

i've left bus. i don't belong there. i guess i always knew i didnt belong there, thats why i kept making new names. just trying to belong. it feels sad leaving, i know that pathetic, it's only an internet forum. but i've been there since 2003. it was somewhere to be me. somewhere i can talk about everything i was feeling, and no one would judge me ( Read more... )