Characteristics of Pain
Title: Characteristics of Pain
Author: fangirlism_era
Rating:PG-13 for boyxboy
Pairing:NishiKato
Summary: The pain that Kato Shigeaki feels after he lost someone he cherishes.
According to Onset and Duration
Acute
It was sudden, within the blink of an eye, it’s all gone. Everything I’ve been dreaming, everything I’ve ever loved, everything I’ve ever cherished. In a blink of an eye, the love of my life is gone, never to return. The pain is immediate, almost as soon as I learned of the loss. People say that time will heal things and they say that I will be as good as new within the next 6 months.
Chronic
They were wrong. It’s been a year and the pain never dulled. The pain has been exacerbating as time goes on. It’s remitting, disappears for a short time then comes back again. The pain is prolonged. It never truly goes away and I’m afraid the one day, I’ll wake up in a state of no return. I will remain in this state for the rest of my life. This state of denial, pain, and longing.
According to Location
Superficial
At first, it was localized pain. It started in the scar I got from the accident. Then eventually, it spread, all the way to my heart, planted itself there, within my being, consuming me.
Deep Visceral
Then out of nowhere, it turned to deep visceral pain. An aching kind, directly to the heart whenever I see photos. Of him, of us, of our love.
According to Periodicity of Pattern
Intractable Pain
I sigh, I give up. I will never move on. I can never move on. Not when he is with me all the time. I touch my chest, his heart, is now my heart. This kind of pain can never be truly cured, just treated and dulled.
Intermittent Pain
This kind of pain I am now feeling is intermittent, on and off. I am never really happy. This general kind of happiness is what I feel when I am with friends is the only thing keeping me from following him wherever he is.
Phantom Pain
It’s a kind of pain that you feel from a certain part of your body even though that part is already gone. I feel my heart hurting but this is not my heart, it’s his. I can never get over the fact that he saved me instead when he had a higher chance of survival. He sacrificed himself for me. He is close to being discharged when he decided that he will give me his heart instead of keeping it to himself.
These are the characteristics of pain I feel in my everyday life. Nishikido Ryo, lover, friend, partner, other half. Forever in my heart, forever, until the end of time. You sacrificed yourself for me and I will make sure that I live this life to the fullest. I will do everything you ever wanted to do. I will make sure to achieve all your goals, reach all your dreams and make you proud. And once we see each other, you will greet me, kiss me passionately and you can have your heart back.
I will never forget you.
Always.
Author: fangirlism_era
Rating:PG-13 for boyxboy
Pairing:NishiKato
Summary: The pain that Kato Shigeaki feels after he lost someone he cherishes.
According to Onset and Duration
Acute
It was sudden, within the blink of an eye, it’s all gone. Everything I’ve been dreaming, everything I’ve ever loved, everything I’ve ever cherished. In a blink of an eye, the love of my life is gone, never to return. The pain is immediate, almost as soon as I learned of the loss. People say that time will heal things and they say that I will be as good as new within the next 6 months.
Chronic
They were wrong. It’s been a year and the pain never dulled. The pain has been exacerbating as time goes on. It’s remitting, disappears for a short time then comes back again. The pain is prolonged. It never truly goes away and I’m afraid the one day, I’ll wake up in a state of no return. I will remain in this state for the rest of my life. This state of denial, pain, and longing.
According to Location
Superficial
At first, it was localized pain. It started in the scar I got from the accident. Then eventually, it spread, all the way to my heart, planted itself there, within my being, consuming me.
Deep Visceral
Then out of nowhere, it turned to deep visceral pain. An aching kind, directly to the heart whenever I see photos. Of him, of us, of our love.
According to Periodicity of Pattern
Intractable Pain
I sigh, I give up. I will never move on. I can never move on. Not when he is with me all the time. I touch my chest, his heart, is now my heart. This kind of pain can never be truly cured, just treated and dulled.
Intermittent Pain
This kind of pain I am now feeling is intermittent, on and off. I am never really happy. This general kind of happiness is what I feel when I am with friends is the only thing keeping me from following him wherever he is.
Phantom Pain
It’s a kind of pain that you feel from a certain part of your body even though that part is already gone. I feel my heart hurting but this is not my heart, it’s his. I can never get over the fact that he saved me instead when he had a higher chance of survival. He sacrificed himself for me. He is close to being discharged when he decided that he will give me his heart instead of keeping it to himself.
These are the characteristics of pain I feel in my everyday life. Nishikido Ryo, lover, friend, partner, other half. Forever in my heart, forever, until the end of time. You sacrificed yourself for me and I will make sure that I live this life to the fullest. I will do everything you ever wanted to do. I will make sure to achieve all your goals, reach all your dreams and make you proud. And once we see each other, you will greet me, kiss me passionately and you can have your heart back.
I will never forget you.
Always.