Fic: Observations of the Summer of '75

Jul 27, 2007 19:54

Okay, so here is the drabble that just came to me out of nowhere last night (and it's sort of fluffy which I'm for sure not used to writing)! It's crossposted to a few other places so sorry to spam your flists!

Title: Observations of the Summer of '75
Pairing: Severus/Lily, Lily centric for the most part
Rating: PG or PG-13 (one foul word)
Word Count: 1,500
Summary: Lily realizes that the physical changes of adolescence are the least of her worries
Warning:Ha, no real warnings unless the thought of Snape and Lily burns your eyes out and a 15 year old smoking screams blasphemy. Anyway, this is unbeta'd so there may be a few spelling errors.
Disclaimer: I obviously don't own HP.
A/N: This may be utter crap or pretty decent and the flow of it may be a bit wonky but tell me what you think anyway :)

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The summer was often all the time she had to really, really get a good look at him.

And herself.

It was during the summer that Lily noticed their changes, mostly physical (so it seemed) and it was the summer after 4th year that made the most difference. Hormones, Lily’s mum loved to explain to her youngest daughter. Her elucidation usually involved purchasing Lily coming of age novels, giving her old family keepsakes passed from woman to woman, and telling Lily about the fascinating wonders of the female body.

But Lily decided not to remind her mother that she already has two copies of Are You There God? It’s Me, Margret, that her mother promised Petunia that amber ring, and that she knew what bra size she wore and didn’t need help measuring, thank you very much.

But Lily preferred not to notice the changes her own body went through; tried to ignore the daunting reality she faced before and after every shower when she looked at herself naked and knew, knew she was getting her mother’s breasts. Or the fact that her favorite jeans and dresses were tight due to widening hips. She tried especially hard to ignore the oily spots on her lightly freckled face that always seemed to be a little oily.

No, Lily preferred to notice the differences her friend, no, best friend Severus Snape.

She noticed how his voice was most certainly deeper and didn’t have the same, high pitched, nasally know-it-all tone as it did when they first met. She noticed very thin, sparse hair sprouting from his jaws and the edges of his cheeks. And, with slight embarrassment, she noticed how he tended to stare at her when he thought she didn’t notice for longer than she would have liked while she sunbathed in her new bathing suit by a meek nearby river. And she doubted he was staring at her sunglasses. She noticed the way he now seemed reluctant to receive her long hugs, how his hands didn’t seem to know what to touch or where to go anymore when enveloped in said hugs. When his hands decided to land upon her hips or the small of her back they felt stiff; as though he’d been petrified.

Other changes didn’t have to do with puberty at all. His eyes were sunken from a lack of sleep and the fact that he now always accompanied her with a fag in his mouth didn’t help the fact that he looked like the walking dead.

“Drag?”

“Not if I’ll end up looking like hell like you do.”

But she did take a drag and nearly coughed up a lung. He sneered at her as she shoved the fuming fag back into his hands…and this sneer seemed to deepen more with age; it was crueler, condescending. Lily noticed that she didn’t like it very much at all. It was rather horrible.

He was taller too. Quite a few inches taller than Lily even in her highest platforms.

“Are you trying to kill yourself wearing those things?” Severus asked one rainy July morning.

“Aw, are you concerned, Sev?” Lily chuckled but stopped when he looked at her fleetingly, as he had been an awful lot lately. Holding eye contact, apparently, became out of vogue since their minute (sometimes two) long staring contests. Severus always won.

“Of course I am,” Severus muttered. “I can’t have my best friend crack her head open and die because of some bloody fashion statement. And what would your tombstone say? ‘Here lies Lily Evans: she only regrets not finding another pair in lavender.’”

She wore them all summer anyway.

It was the evening before September 1st and on that balmy day of 1975 and the two reclined on their elbows in wet grass at the park in which they first met.

“So...”

“So what?”

“School tomorrow.”

“Thank God.”

Lily turned to look at him. He didn’t look back. She figured she may as well tell him what was on her mind. “You’re different. You’ve changed.”

He gave her a sideways look and an impish smile. “You’ve changed too.”

“Oh please. You moreso than me. I mean…you’re so…tall and…” Lily trailed off. She noticed that that his physical appearance really wasn’t what she was trying to point out.

“You’re taller too,” Severus said, his attention now weighing heavily on the nearby swing set swayed in the breeze.

“It’s just that…I’m going to miss you,” Lily said quietly.

“I’ll see you every day, Lily,” Severus said with calm exasperation.

“Yeah, but what does that even mean anymore?” Lily said angrily. “I’ll see Florence everyday but that doesn’t mean I’m going to go chat with her and sit with her during breaks and tell her my secrets and-”

“What does Florence have to do with anything?”

“Everything!” Lily exclaimed as she ripped out a large patch of grass out of the ground beneath her and threw it. The wind blew and the grass flew right into Lily’s eyes…and mouth…and hair.

Severus gave her a look. She knew that he thought she was being ridiculous, and who wouldn’t as she was pulling bits of earth off her tongue.

“You’re mental,” Severus said.

“You know what I mean though,” Lily sighed. “You’re different. I’m…different. You’ve changed. I’ve changed too. And I’m just…just…”

Lily felt tears welling up in her eyes so she stared at her lap. Now was not the time to cry. She was being stupid. Crying over something like this.

“Scared,” Severus finished for her.

Lily turned towards him and spoke softly. “Yes, I’m scared.”

With shock, she noticed that he too appeared worried.

“Last year-”

Severus shot an angry look at Lily and it felt like he was really looking at her for the first time in ages. “Last year won’t happen again. You can just tell Mary to sod the fuck off.”

Lily glared. “Mary is my friend!”

“I’m your friend.”

“I can have more than one friend, Severus!” Lily hissed.

“Oh believe me, you need not worry about your friend quantity,” Severus scoffed derisively. “You’ve turned into little miss popular!”

“Well let’s talk about your friends, yeah,” Lily snapped. Forget puberty; forget how tall her best friend was, or his smoking habits, or the hair growing along his jaw. “Your friends are the ones changing you.”

“Oh give it a bloody rest about Avery and Mulciber!” Severus snapped. “You should be more concerned about Potter and his lot than them.”

“I won’t give it a rest!” Lily cried. “You act as though it’s only my friends getting in the way, but take a look at yours! Do you choose to ignore the way they treat my friends. The way they treat me?”

“They don’t bother you.”

Lily was silent.

“They don’t bother you,” Severus repeated, unsure this time.

Lily bit her lip, tasting foul lipgloss. “Sure, as long as you’re not around.”

“What happened?” Severus asked coldly.

Lily gave a humorless simper. “Let’s just say that they expect Muggle-born girls to lack the slightest bit of dignity.”

They were both quiet for a while. Lily looked skyward as the bright, golden glows of orange and yellow and pink fought and lost to the deep indigo storming in from the east. Another zephyr lifted her deep red curls and stirred Severus’ lank black locks.

“I won’t let them bother you.”

Lily noticed it didn’t sound like an empty promise, but remained skeptical.

By the end of the day, Lily noticed that it wasn’t the physical changes between the two that was most unsettling for her. No, not even close. What now stared at her boldly in the face was the fact that neither bra shopping nor the cut on Severus’ face from shaving were really bothering her.

It was the fact that they may be drifting apart.

And that, more than anything else, left her worried sick.

“I wish we were still ten, Sev,” Lily said quietly. “Remember when we were ten?”

Severus scratched the bridge of his long nose.

“Yes,” he frowned. “Sometimes I wish we were too.”

Lily silently grasped Severus’ cold left hand and gave it a squeeze. After a short moment, he squeezed back, smiling at her and Lily could help but return it. And for a moment hormones didn’t matter, their friends didn’t matter, houses, blood, and impending war…none of that mattered.

The only thing that mattered to Lily was her best friend, Severus Snape as they stood, still holding each other’s hands for dear life as they walked away from the park of their childhood.

Neither of them knew that that was their last summer night walking side by side. Neither of them knew that that was their last summer night holding hands without a care in the world.

And neither would have known that that was the last summer night Severus Snape ever plucked up the courage to give Lily Evans a quick kiss goodnight.

Neither of them knew just how much they’d change.

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fic, snape/lily, harry potter, observations of the summer of '75

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