Cat, I tried, but this is what I ended up with. Rereading it, I feel like James Blish ("a typewriter with a glacial surface") wrote it in one of his philosophical novels. I also seem to be suffering from drug reactions which are making me even grimmer than usual, and these aren't the sort of drugs I can stop. This is in bad need of a rewrite, and
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First, thank you for posting. I am not completely happy with my post either, and I wish I could have done better too.
Second, perhaps the drug reactions are making you read more grimly, rather than write more grimly, because this looks fine to me. Kind of solemn, but solemnity is not uncalled for.
I would be happy to add this to my list of links, if that's alright with you; I think it is a valuable contribution. "Be tolerant because intolerance betrays the very ideals you are trying to convey" for example, is not a suggestion I have seen anyone else make, and I think it's a very poignant appeal.
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