So, it's official, Merlin's
not returning for a sixth series.
This is no surprise at all, and I haven't been expecting anything from the show this series, and yet, and yet. Somehow, I'm still crying at the news (remember how I posted not so long ago wondering if I was floating away from this fandom? Yeah, not so much. Whatever I think of the writing on the show, I am going down with this ship, as they say, apparently).
It feels like the end of an era to me. I got into the show and the fandom towards the end of S1, and it's by far the longest fandom I've ever been in, and the one I've been most emotionally invested in.
And being in this fandom has brought me many wonderful things: meeting all the lovely
merlin_be girls, meeting and reconnecting with many of you wonderful people, and just, the joy of participating in a fandom that, in spite of some hiccups, has been pretty damned awesome, in my humble opinion. I'll never forget what it's like to participate in things like the
summerpornathon or read fic at the kink meme or look at the lovely art and meeting so many creative, excited, kink-positive people. In spite of some frustrations (mostly with the show, heh), I think this fandom has been fun for me in a way I'm not sure any of my previous fandoms have been, made me feel like I belonged, at least a little, and I can't imagine finding another one that would somehow click with me so well soon. (This is all rather funny when I remember I got into Merlin fandom extremely reluctantly and not feeling ready to move on from SGA yet.)
I realise this sounds like a goodbye and it's really not, because even if the show ends, this has also been my one fandom where it was more about the fandom than the show for me, and long may that fandom continue (I really, really hope it does, though I'm a little fearful, too). But it just hit home that we'll never see the actors do promo together again, and after this series ends, there won't be any more Arthur and Merlin eye-fucking on my screen (or doing any of their other ridiculous stuff together. And I'm going to miss that more than I thought I would. I don't think I've ever loved an OTP as much as I do them), and we can't hope for better storylines anymore (granted, they can't foist any more bad ones on us, either). We won't be getting excited about new stuff coming up together anymore. And that does make me sad. :(
If the final episode is aired on Christmas, then I won't even be around to watch that, either, which, gah. Or who knows, perhaps it's for the better. ;)
But really, tl;dr: Merlin fandom you've been absolutely wonderful to me, and I'm sad one facet of that is going to end soon, but I love you, OK? I'm so glad I have been and still am part of all this with you. <3