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OH MY GOOOOD. I, uh, liked it? I had to pause the episode repeatedly because I was shaking with nerves half the time and needed to calm down.
- I mean, there were bits I didn't like: for the penultimate episode, I was sad there wasn't more A/M; the opening sequence was way too heavy-handed; random Gwaine/Eira subplot was random; and, um, does this mean Merlin's stuck as Gandalf the White an old man? Not to be shallow (I am, I am), but I hope it isn't so. OTOH, since they're supposedly working towards the legends, and those have Arthur with an old Merlin at his side, I'm taking this as the 0.01 % hope I still have of Arthur not dying and them working towards that situation. I'LL TAKE IT OK. [ETA: Answer re: Merlin staying old or not here, apparently, if anyone really wants to know.]
- "I've always thought you were the bravest man I've ever met." Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh, yes. Coming from Arthur, who seems to just about value bravery above all else, that is one big compliment, indeed. I don't believe for one second Arthur would change his mind about that based on Merlin not joining them at Camlann, not after everything they've been through and them repeatedly facing certain death, so I'm taking his "I was wrong" as a reaction out of hurt that a) Merlin won't be by his side even though he knows Arthur might die and b) that he might suspect something more is going on and that once again, Merlin is choosing not to tell Arthur anything (even though Merlin knows just about everything there is to know about Arthur).
This feeling is strengthened by the fact that, when Arthur dreams he hears Merlin's voice - and I mean, this is Arthur we're talking about here, who's always skeptic and really shouldn't be believing in dreams - he doesn't even pause to doubt it. He trusts it unconditionally. Which might actually be slightly stupid, but watch me care. I got gooseflesh when he ordered he knights around with such certainty that Morgana was trying to outflank them.
- Also, asdkdfk. The music at that moment, just before the battle begins. That's the theme they played in Valiant when Arthur is getting ready for his final battle against Valiant, and everyone assumes he's about to die, and Morgana is doing up his armour (gah!) and Merlin is desperately trying to figure out his spell, and yeah, it's basically my favourite bit of the soundtrack and just hearing it made me tear up.
And then Arthur's speech. Gaaah. I don't know, that whole sequence just really worked for me, and I love that Arthur is not willing to sacrifice his people (whether or not that is the wise choice). Also, Excalibur at last!
- The concept of robbing people of their magic just makes my stomach turn (and yeah, I know that guy at the beginning is supposed to be a bad guy, but I felt so sorry for him), so I felt really bad for Merlin throughout. I thought it wasn't as dramatic as it could have been at first (Gaius seemed to pretty much just take it in his stride), but it's the quiet moments with Merlin helplessly staring on that got to me. Such an important moment, and he knows that there's nothing he can do. I'm sure he would have normally tried to at least meddle in what was going on, but it's like he felt so helpless that he didn't even feel his opinion was worth anything.
It really seems like Merlin's entire self-worth is linked to his magic, which makes sense based on his attitude as far back as 1x01 ("If I can't use magic, what have I got? I'm just a nobody, and I always will be. If I can't use magic, I might as well die.") And then when he was just sort of smiling and being almost upbeat before going to the crystal cave - it felt to me like he had already given up, already felt like a nobody in that moment, and that he knew he would either restore his previous self or not come back at all. (Well-played, Colin.)
And gah, that moment in the cave. ;_; Good thing we'd seen all that in the previews, or it would have completely broken my heart.
- Also, gah, that last scene between Merlin and Gwaine. I did really like that, Gwaine respecting Merlin's choice not to say anything, but somehow being aware of the importance of the moment, and that they might not see each other again. That it was goodbye. After all that they've forgotten about the Merlin/Gwaine friendship, I'm glad they got that moment. Although it was stupid that Merlin wasn't carrying a sword in the first place; he's used one before, writers.
- Glad as I was to see Balinor, his reappearance was a bit random, so I'm going with Merlin somehow projecting him as the person to pass on the message he needed to hear. I did like the message of Merlin being made of magic, and it's one of those things I really wish we'd got to see more of in the past, hm, four years, but oh well. I'll take it.
- Merlin's face when he produced the butterfly. <333
- The Merlin/Morgana confrontation was a bit weak, but I did like that Merlin refused to be afraid of her, in spite of being powerless.
- I don't ship A/G, personally, but I did think they had some nice moments in this ep. I thought I would find it ridiculous that Gwen followed Arthur to battle leaving Camelot unprotected, but it worked for me. (Also, hey, Gwen trusting Merlin (and Gaius) - nice to see considering I can't even remember the last time they acted as friends. :/) That said, those scenes really did feel like the beginning of the end, ack.
- Speaking of, OK, Morgana forging Mordred a sword was... really, really random. I mean, wtf. It's not like they're expecting to fight anything even remotely magical, so why would he need it? Also, how does Morgana even know about this process and why doesn't she just mass-produce the things if she thinks they're going to be so helpful? (Or at the very least have made one for herself ages ago.) But anyway. Ahem. [ETA: I've just realised: what if it's so Merlin can't heal Arthur in spite of his super powers? Aargh. I still haven't lost all hope that Mordred might change his mind at the last minute or something, though.]
- ETA: oh! Oh! I forgot to add that I was really amused that after all those times Arthur suspected Merlin of being in the tavern, the one time he is actually in the tavern, he's with Arthur. Also drunken Merlin tumbling in was adorable. <3
- I kind of like that the trailer for next week is just the faces of the OT4... if I can still call them that. Also, wow, Morgana's expression.
- But yes. I honestly just feel sick with nerves thinking of the finale. I think I might have mostly come to terms with all the horrible ways this could end. I think. I'm sure my stomach will still be churning while I'm watching it, though.
As glad as I am that I won't be spending Christmas Eve on my own, I'm also really sad that it means I won't be around to watch the last ever ep together with everyone else. For one, I am pretty sure I'm going to spend the entirety of Christmas thinking about Merlin and wondering how it ended (over-invested, who, me?), but most of all, I wish I was around to catch fandom's reaction and share hugs and whatnot, especially with it being the last ep. But I probably won't see it till the evening of the 26th. :/
But! I will take the occasion to already wish those who celebrate the loveliest of Christmases, and a wonderful week to everyone else. ♥
Have a *hug* in advance for all possible Merlin-induced feelings (or other more important concerns you might have, really). And, you know:
[ Source.]
