OOC: LOG Peony and Jade
Who: Peony and Jade
What: Peony and Jade break into the Keterburg Hotel Spa
When: about 18 years ago
Where: Keterburg Hotel
Why: Cause we can.
Warnings: none?
The spa at the Keterburg hotel was amazing, and as most amazing things go, the price that went with it was equally amazing. While Peony did not lack the gald to go there, he did lack the access to using it for such prurient interests - at least not for a few more years until when he'd become Emperor. Then he could use his money for whatever he wanted, within reason. And scoping out girls in swimsuits in a town that is covered with snow year round is within reason.
Peony and Jade had been waiting for the better part of an hour for their opportunity to sneak into the spa. "You have any ideas for getting in? I don't think we're just going to be able to slip past the girl at the desk."
Jade rolled his eyes at the comment-- if he was going to be the brains of the operation, Peony should just let him do his job, "I considered having you woo her with your charm, but then I forgot you don't have any. Shut up and let me think." He scanned the area, trying to find a supply or service door for them to sneak through. He'd never been to the spa before, after all, he'd no interest in staring at women. His studies always came first, and besides, the girls their age were so stupid. Except for Nephry, but that was a different matter entirely. "Is there a kitchen?"
"I have charm! I've been learning it from my tutors all these years," Peony said, lightly jabbing Jade in the side with his elbow. "I think the kitchen is on another floor, not this one."
"Ow. And how do you feel about heights?"
"I don't mind them, why?"
"Good. We're scaling the side over there." Jade pointed to a row of windows. "If I'm right, the vent nearby means that's the kitchen to the spa, or, if we're even luckier, the sauna room."
"The sauna room?" Peony's eyes lit up with excitement. Girls in towels surrounded by steam. He didn't need any convincing to think this was a great idea. "So we just have to crawl through that vent?"
"No. We're going to enter a window nearby. Unless you want your face to melt."
"Oh.... no I don't want that."
Jade brought a fist up to his chin, scanning Peony with his eyes as if analyzing his features, "It would be an improvement..."
"Hey! That's not funny," Peony said, punching Jade lightly in the arm.
"I was being serious, Peony." Jade shook his head, "It's a grave situation... your face..."
"At least it's not Saphir's face."
"...That's a face?!"
"That's why he's not here."
Jade smirked, "I don't think he's into women, anyway."
Peony struggled to hold back a laugh. "Dammit, Jade. We're going to get caught before we even try. Don't make me laugh."
Jade's smirk turned into a grin, "Okay, okay. Let's get started then."
Edging his way over to the windows, Peony carefully kept an eye out for anyone who might notice what they're up to. Once they were beneath a window, Peony turned and peeeked through the window, standing on tiptoe to get a better look. "I'm going to need your help getting in this window, it's kind of high."
"Fonic or physical?"
"Physical. I don't know any of your artes that will safely lift me."
"Ah. So you've caught on." Jade chuckled, wrapping his arms around Peony's middle, "On three."
"What are you planning to do?" Peony asked. "Wouldn't it just be easier to put your hands together and let me use them to step up?"
"Rape."
"You can save that for later."
Laughing once more, Jade gave a clap on Peony's shoulder before bending down on one knee and holding out his hands, "Hurry. I can't hold you up for long."
"I know." Peony pushed the window open before stepping up onto Jade's hand and hefting himself up through the window. Once he was inside he looked out the window and grinned. "Now to get you in!"
"Don't drop me." Jade warned as he hopped up, arms fully extended for Peony to grasp.
"I'll try not to." He tugged Jade up through the window, almost losing his balance as his feet came through the window.
"My hero~." Jade rolled off of Peony, getting to his feet immediately. "All right, let's get going."
"Remember, look completely natural, like we're supposed to be here," Peony said, though he was probably the one who needed to follow the advice and not Jade.
"Unlike you, I'm the classy type. You're the one that sticks out like a sore thumb."
"I do not."
"You stink, too."
"I took a bath this morning. I don't stink."
"Totally do."
"Maybe it's just your upper lip."
"It can't be. It smells just fine when you're not around."
"It has to be. I'm even wearing a good cologne."
"THAT'S what it is!"
"My cologne doesn't stink."
"Where the hell did you get that?"
"It was a gift from a secret admirer."
"Nephry has better taste than that, so I'm assuming it's someone else?"
"I don't know who it is."
"Do yourself a favor and chuck it."
"Is it really that bad?" Peony frowned.
"Horrible. They'll probably find us by smell alone." Of course, Jade was exaggerating, but at the same time, Peony didn't need a cologne from some random girl when he had Nephry.
"Fine. I'll toss it when we get home." They walked through a couple of corridors before they finally found the changing rooms. "Did you bring something to change into?"
"I was planning on going in the nude. What do you think?"
"That's one way to advertise. Also a way to get us kicked out."
"Don't worry, I brought something." Jade rolled a shoulder to emphasize a small backpack he'd brought, "You?"
"I'm already wearing it." Standing in front of a locker, Peony stripped down to a little blue speedo and grinned widely as he shoved his clothes into the locker.
"How childish." Jade rolled his eyes, stripping off his clothing slowly and folding everything neatly, "You'd better wear a robe. Before you poke someone's eye out."
"I'll poke your eye out," Peony replied, holding his finger up to Jade's face.
"I see." In an instant, Jade craned his neck, and bit down on Peony's finger.
"Bastard," Peony yelped, pulling his hand back. "I'll wear a robe."
"Good boy." Jade smirked, finally down to nothing as he reached into his bag for a modest piece of swimwear
Peony wandered off to grab a couple of robes. After putting one on, he drapped the other over his arm and grabbed a towel. As he returned to where Jade was, he twisted the towel up. And when Jade bent forward slightly to pull on the swim trunks, Peony whipped him hard with the towel.
Not expecting that, Jade jumped up with a muffled cry, slamming his head on the edge of the locker, "PEONY!!!"
Peony threw his head back in laughter, clutching his stomach as he did so.
"YOU SON OF A..." Jade pulled his trunks up haphazardly before tackling Peony to the ground, "That hurt!"
"Well so did your biting my finger. At least you can't catch rabies from a towel."
"I'll probably catch your stupid."
"I'm not stupid. Now get up before I make it very uncomfortable."
"Yes you are. And you're also disgusting." Nevertheless, Jade rose to his feet.
"You can't call me disgusting! You don't even know what I was going to do." Peony got up once Jade was up and handed him the other robe.
"You're disgusting by yourself."
"Come on, let's go." Peony grabbed Jade's arm and dragged him out of the locker room and into the spa area.
"Hold on! Hold on!" Jade did his best to slip the robe on while being tugged along.
"You're too slow."
"You're too impatient!" Jade muttered, "Horny jerk."
"Prude." As they stepped into the spa, Peony's expression changed from the sour look he'd just given Jade into a brilliant smile faster than you could say "rappig".
Jade nearly facepalmed. "Just don't get stupid, okay?"
"Promise." There were girls (and older women) in swimsuits lounging everywhere. Peony found a set of empty lounge chairs and tossed his borrowed robe onto it.
Jade followed suit, folding his own robe neatly in the chair beside Peony's. "I'll be over there." He gestured vaguely at a sauna.
"I'll be out here if you decide to grow a pair and join me." Peony grinned over his shoulder as he lowered himself into the steamy hot water between two very lovely ladies. "I hope I'm not intruding," he said, ignoring that his voice squeaked a little on the last word.
In response, Jade decided that now was as good a time as any to preform a little experiment. He lingered for a few moments before choosing a pool not too far away from where Peony decided to start pulling moves. He sank into the almost boiling water, letting the wisps of steam warm up his face before focusing his hearing on the going ons nearby. Any and all blackmail material ready to be recorded in the young genius' mind.
The two girls giggled, whether this was a good or a bad thing, Peony wasn't sure. Discretion being the better part of valor... he threw all caution to the wind and draped an arm over each girl's shoulder. "What brings you ladies to Keterburg?"
Jade had to keep himself from snorting at that. He could just imagine it now-- the look on Peony's face, the gesture of his body, combined with the effects of puberty? What he wouldn't give for a waterproof camera.
"We've got to go," the one girl said as both of them giggled and stood up. "But it was nice meeting you." While disappointed by his first refusal of the day, Peony wasn't going to give up so easily. There were plenty of other girls in the spa. He watched as the two walked away before starting to scan the room again. He'd have to be a little more selective this time.
Lifting his foggy glasses so they could rest against his forehead, Jade craned his neck, eyes following Peony to see what he would do next. He called out, with an almost evil grin, "Try going for someone closer to your age!" At the same time, he pointed to the children's area.
Peony turned around and glared at Jade. "They were my age. Maybe a year or two older, but close enough."
"Not mentally."
"Shut up." He turned back around and pouted. He was going to show Jade that he could land a girl easily if he picked the right one.
"Twenty gald says the next one hits you!" Jade continued to jeer.
"It's on," Peony replied. He caught a girl's eye from across the room and smiled. When she returned the smile he looked over at his shoulder at Jade and grinned. "Prepare to pay up." He stood up and made his way across to the girl, stepping out of the one pool and into the next. "Hey, beautiful," her said as he sat down next to her. "I couldn't help but notice someone with as charming a smile as you."
Jade floated to the other end of his pool of choice, ignoring the other patrons in favor of keeping an eye on his best friend. He pushed his glasses so they rested on his crown as he prepared for a show.
The girl leaned over to whisper something in Peony's ear and he laughed before murmuring something back to her. Their exchange continued like this for several moments before Peony decided to take it a little further, letting his lips brush against her ear. The slap that ensued echoed throughout the room and Peony sank down under the water to hide. He didn't care if it was uncomfortably hot. It was better than seeing the 'I told you so' on Jade's face.
Laughing, Jade hoisted himself out of the water, and took long strides over to the lump of blonde that was Peony. Slipping in next to him, he clapped a shoulder, "Good show, there."
"Shut up," Peony mumbled, raising his head out of the water only far enough to speak.
Jade only chuckled harder, "You work waaaaay too fast, Peony."
"That wasn't entirely my fault. I think she heard you and was stringing me along into that. You should have heard what she was saying."
"Do tell!"
"I'll tell you later."
"You're no fun, Peony."
"Fine," Peony leaned over and whispered all that the girl had said to him into Jade's ear along with his responses. He of course, left off the brushing of his lip against Jade's ear. That was a little more detail than Jade needed to know.
Jade waited until he was done before pondering what he'd just learned, "She was probably a pedophile."
"What?" Peony looked at Jade with wide eyes. "She wasn't that old!"
"Deeefinitely a pedo."
"She was not!" Peony wasn't sure why he was defending the woman that had just slapped him.
"Do you need counseling, Peony? After, you know, being objectified?" Jade was having faaaarrr too much fun with this.
Peony rolled his eyes, "No, don't be ridiculous."
Jade snickered, but decided to leave it alone, "Maybe you should just give up. You already owe me twenty gald."
"You wanted to go in the sauna, right?" Peony asked, changing the subject.
"Only if you want to. You know I don't like the heat all that much."
"I promise you won't melt." Peony stood up and grabbed Jade's arm, leading him to a sauna. There was the chance that there'd be girls there that hadn't witnessed his two failures.
"No no," Jade retorted dryly, "Your bright and sunny attitude is enough to melt me already. Don't make me go in there."
"We're going in." Of course, of all the rooms to pick, it was the one full of only men, but if Peony left now, it would be obvious his goal had only been to hit on mor girls. With a sigh he sat down, wishing he'd at least bothered to grab a towel.
Jade sat next to him, leaning against the seat as steam clouded his senses. He sighed, already feeling the sweat bead along his brow, and his cheeks flushing beneath his far too pale skin tone. "How long do you want to stay for?"
"You need to get used to the heat, Jade," Peony said.
"So you're going to melt me into submission?"
"I'm not the sadist in this relationship."
Jade quirked an eyebrow, "Don't make me hit you. I don't care if the kids see it."
"See what I mean?"
"You get off on it. Don't lie."
Peony crossed his arms and shut up. A man from across the room, who looked to be in his mid to late twenties got up and headed their way. Peony chose to ignore him, assuming he was just leaving when the man smiled salaciously at him. "Uh, Jade?" he whispered. "Let's get out of here."
Jade was already two steps ahead of Peony, dropping the pleasant face shooting the man a deadly warning glare. Anyone. Anyone who dared to lay a hand on Peony would have to get past him first. "Yeah. Let's." He took Peony by the wrist, and tugged gently.
As soon as they escaped the sauna, Peony shuddered, "Now that guy was a pedophile."
"Mmm." Jade only half paid attention to Peony's words, looking back over their shoulders in case the guy tried to come after them, still in SRS BSNS mode.
"I feel so gross."
"More than usual?"
"Shut up," Peony said, nudging him in the side.
Jade grinned at that, finally relaxing fully. "It just figures that it's the place you choose that has the pedo."
"How does that figure?"
A few moments passed as Jade stared at Peony point blank, his face completely unreadable. Finally, he spoke, "Well... it's you."
Peony just stared back at him, perplexed. "What?"
"You just... have really crappy luck."
"There's nothing wrong with my luck."
"Sorry but, it really does suck."
"If it sucked so much, we would have been caught."
"...You probably just jinxed it."
"Hmph." Peony crossed his arms and walked ahead of Jade into the locker room.
Jade sighed. Maybe he'd pushed it too far this time. Shrugging, he walked over to the chairs Peony had picked, and reclaimed their robes. Jogging slightly, and making sure he didn't slip, he caught up to Peony, draping his robe over his shoulders.
"Guard the door so I can get changed. I don't want that pervert walking in while I'm naked."
"All right." Jade walked out of the room, pulling on his own robe as he did so. Obediently, he stood by the door, almost like a child who had been scolded.
Peony hadn't meant for Jade to leave the room. Sighing he grabbed his clothes out of the locker and stripped off his speedos, drying off thoroughly before getting dressed. He'd shower once they got home. He wasn't going to make Jade wait out there that long. A few moments later he opened the door and peeked out. "I'm decent now," he murmured before going to sulk on the bench.
Jade nodded and walked back inside, combing through his hair roughly with his fingertips along the way. Allowing Peony room to brood, he took his clothing out of his locker, opting to change a bit away from the other boy. Whenever Peony got like that Jade didn't know how to offset the awkward, so he slipped out of his wet shorts in silence, the only sounds the ruffling of fabric has he began to put on his dry clothing from before. Finally, he decided to break the silence, "...Sorry."
"It's fine." Peony reached for Jade's hand and dropped some coins into it. "There's your twenty gald."
Jade pocketed it and threw on a shirt, "Hey. Why don't I treat us to ice cream?"
"In the hotel restaurant, or from the store?"
"You pick."
"The restaurant." As they headed out the front entrance, the girl at the counter stopped them. "You're Peony, correct?" she asked. "Next time you'd like to use the facilities, please enter the proper way. Your family has a membership."
Jade had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from laughing. He fingered the gald in his pocket-- if only he had bet on them being found.
"Oh... right... I didn't know." Peony blushed. The girl added, "You didn't before today, but they were quick to purchase one after the complaints we received."
That did it. Jade almost had to stuff a fist into his mouth to cover up the snickering.
"Oh." Peony grabbed Jade's wrist and headed for the elevator, his face red with embarrassment. "It's not funny."
"It's h-hysterical!" Jade allowed himself to giggle uncontrollably.
"Is not." Peony stabbed the elevator buttons with his finger.
"It so is! C'mon, if it were me, you'd be laughing too."
"So?"
"So I'm allowed to laugh at you."
Peony sighed as the elevator doors opened to the second floor restaurant. "Let's go get the ice cream."
Jade wrapped an arm around Peony's shoulders, giving them a tight squeeze, "Don't be mad, okay?"
"I'm not mad," Peony said, relaxing at the soothing motion.
He squeezed again, this time also leaning his head on Peony's shoulder. Jade hated to see him upset in any way, "You were before."
"I was embarrassed, not mad."
"Don't be embarrassed either."
"I just didn't want that pervert looking at me any more."
"Do you want me to take care of it?"
"It's fine, Jade, but thanks."
"Sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?"
"It was my fault."
"How was it your fault?"
"The joke ran longer than it should have."
"Huh?"
"What got the pedo coming after us. I should have cut the joke short."
"Don't worry about it," Peony said, as they were seated in the restaurant. Mostly he wasn't sure what the joke was and he really didn't care to know at this point.
"Idiot." Jade helped himself to the usual complimentary bread-- for some reason, he was always, always hungry, and that put a strain on him and Nephry moneywise, so he did what he could to sate his appetite.
"You and Nephry should come over for dinner tonight! We're having salmon!" Peony grinned. He didn't mind losing bets to Jade when money was involved, not that he would admit to it.
Jade's eyes almost lit up at that, "Really?"
"Really!"
"I'll tell her! She likes going over your house a lot."
Peony blushed then quickly flagged over a waitress. "We'd like to order. I'll have a chocolate sundae with extra fudge, extra whipped cream and a cherry."
"Pig. I'll have plain vanilla, please."
"I only get the extra because you always wind up stealing some of it."
"Only the whipped cream."
Peony stuck his tongue out at Jade.
"Your manners suck as bad as your luck."
"My manners are fine when I choose to use them."
"The problem is you never choose to use them."
"I use them when I have to."
"Like when?"
"In front of important company."
"Pretty girls don't count."
"They do, too!"
"At this rate, your parents are gonna go through with an arranged marriage."
"They better not," Peony said, making a face. "I still intend to marry your sister."
"Y'know why she likes your house so much?"
"Why?"
"'cause she'll get to live with you in there someday."
Peony grinned and blushed again. "Shut up."
"I read it in her diary. So you know it's the truth."
"Why are you reading her diary, you snoop?"
"I'm keeping tabs on my little sister."
"More like invading her privacy!"
"Keeping her safe."
"What from?"
"Predators like you."
"I'm not a predator!" Peony protested, just in time for the waitress to deliver their ice cream.
"You totally are!" Jade decided to take advantage of the situation, "My poor sister!"
"Don't mind him. He's a little delusional," Peony said to the waitress, flashing her his most charming smile.
Jade smirked as the waitress flashed a grin of her own, although more confused. "Eat your ice cream."
Peony popped the cherry into his mouth before digging into the ice cream. He didn't needto be told twice to eat it and proved this by the huge size of his first bite.
Jade shook his head again as he dug his spoon into his own ice cream, the indent considerably smaller than Peony's.
As the ice cream melted against the roof of his mouth, Peony made a face as he remembered that huge bites of ice cream like this gave him brain freeze.
"...Again?"
"Shut up," Peony managed around the mouthful of ice cream.
"You're gonna drip everywhere."
Peony closed his mouth until the bite was gone.
"It's like taking care of a little kid, I swear."
"Oh shut up. At least I'm not dripping snot into my ice cream."
"How'd you get rid of Saphir anyway?"
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."
"Now I gotta hear this."
"I told him we were doing a scavenger hunt and gave him a list of items to find. But half the things can't be found in Keterburg. At least not easily."
"...You're a genius."
"Thank you. I put a 24 hour time limit on it and the winner gets 100 gald."
"Knowing him, he's probably on a boat to some other part of the world by now."
"Probably. It's worth the gald if it keeps him away until tomorrow afternoon. He's probably not going to sleep until the hunt is done, which means he'll crash tomorrow and we'll have another day free of him."
"...He's a pretty heavy sleeper. Let's throw him naked into the snow again."
"Face down or face up?"
"What did we do last time?"
"Face up? I think."
"Face down, then."
"He's going to get frostbite on his dick... Not that he'll ever use it for anything that needs feeling."
"We'd be doing him a favor, really."
"Of course," Peony laughed. His ice cream was melting, but that just meant he'd be having ice cream soup soon. He stirred the contents of his bowl before taking a globby brown bite.
Jade took another spoonful. "We're such good friends."
"We are. He's lucky to have us, really."
"No wonder he clings to us."
"He'd be silly not to."
Jade sucked on his spoon thoughtfully, "...Think he'll follow us to the palace?"
"He'll probably try, but maybe we'll get lucky and he won't."
"He'll swim if he has to."
"Wonder if I told him the only way he could stay at the palace is if he became my pet. You think he'd do it?"
"Tell him the only way is to become my pet. Then you know he'll do it."
"He does tend to look at you - I mean up at you more."
Sheepi: "..." Jade's body shuddered involuntarily.
"Maybe we could have sacrificed him to that pedo earlier if he'd came."
"Like a human shield?"
"Exactly!"
"He'd probably melt away."
"Must be a side effect of growing up in such a cold climate."
"Nah, he's just weak."
"You were moaning about melting in the sauna."
"That was my impersonation of him. You should have waited until I started sniffling."
"Of course. I'm sure that sweat was fake, too."
"I'm just that good an actor."
"Of course, of course."
"I think I'm going to become a movie star."
"I'll buy all your movies."
"What if I decide to go into porn movies?"
"I'll buy them, but I won't watch them."
"You're so gracious."
"I'm sure Saphir will watch them. <3"
"...You just completely ruined my dream."
"So sorry." Peony finished his ice cream and tried his best not to laugh.
"That's all right. I'll just be a good boy and go into the military."
"Good."
"You want me to go into the military?"
"It's better than porn."
"Yeah, but that wasn't really an option."
"Then what is a real option?"
"Maybe autopsy."
"You'd be really good at that."
"I could use the data, too."
Peony smiled wide, masking the fact that he'd meant it when he said going into the military would be good. It would mean that Jade would be there once he had to go back to Grand Chokmah.
"...My family's pushing me to go into the military anyway. So I'll try for a scientist position there."
"They'd be crazy to turn you down."
"Maybe I'll get to work in a dungeon."
"You'll never see the light of day again if you do."
"But I'll get my very own apprentice named Igor."
"For a genius, you sure do have stupid ideas sometimes."
"It's every genius' dream!"
"Geniuses are weird."
"We're just misunderstood."
"Really? Is that it?"
"Yup."
"Hmmm."
"Hmmm?"
"Is that why Saphir is always whining about how I don't understand him?"
"No, he's just special."
"One of these days we should include him in something."
"Ew."
"Not anything public."
"...Maybe."
"I didn't say we had to be nice."
"Well, okay then."
"Let's head back home," Peony said with a big grin. "You should stay the night tonight."
"You still have my pajamas, right?"
"Of course!"
"Okay, then!!!"
"Too bad Nephry can't stay the night any more."
"Yeah. Since you're a predator and all."
"I'm not a predator."
"So are."
"Am not." Peony slapped down enough gald to cover their ice creams and took off running out of the restaurant, knowing if he didn't, Jade would have the time to complain about his paying.
"HEY!" Jade dashed out after him, "I said it was my treat!"
"It's not fair that you have to spend the money you won off our bet on me."
"I can do what I want with it!"
"Spend it on something else!"
"I have my own money for that!"
"I promise I'll let you treat next time."
"No you wont."
"You could buy Nephry that ribbon she keeps eyeing in the store window," Peony said, trying to change the subject.
"Should I say it's from you?"
"Say it's from the both of us."
"...Fine."
"It'll make her happy if it's from you, too." Peony draped an arm over Jade's shoulder as the elevator (which they got on at some point) came to a halt on the first floor.
"I'm just her big brother. It's more special coming from you."
"You're stupid if you think it isn't special coming from you."
"I didn't say that! Idiot."
"That's they way you're acting."
"No it's not."
"Then what are you saying?"
"Nothing. Just trying to help you out."
"I'm not going to let you buy something with the money you won and give all the credit to me."
"I won it from you."
"So?"
"So you technically got it."
"I'll just tell her the truth if you don't."
"All right. All right."
"Her birthday is coming up soon, isn't it?"
"Next week, yeah."
"Then that can be a birthday present!"
"All right."
"That one can be from just you. And I'll pick something else out for her from me."
"Fine, fine. There's no use arguing with you."
"You always say that when I'm right and you can't think of any other excuses."
"Because you're a blockhead."
"I am not." Peony said, kicking a pile of snow as they stepped out of the hotel.
"That's why you have me." Jade leaned closer to Peony, "You need someone to make sure you don't do stupid things."
"Or at least someone to profit off the stupid things I do."
"That's just a perk."
"Is it?"
"One of a bunch."
"What are the others?"
Jade pulled Peony close, wrapping his arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze.
Peony hugged back and laughed. "Is that your way of getting out of answering, or is that an answer?"
"An answer, you dumbass."
"I know. I was teasing."
"You're still a dumbass."
"You wouldn't have me any other way."
"I guess not."
"I bet the reason I can't get any girls is because they all think we're a couple."
"Probably."
"It's not like I really want them anyway."
"Then my plan's working."
"The plan to marry your sister off to me or to steal me for yourself?"
"Marry my sister off."
"Like you need to make that your plan. When haven't I wanted to marry her?"
"It always help to have a back up. Besides, if you marry her, we get to be brothers."
"Yeah, I know," Peony grinned. "Not that I need to marry Nephry to consider you that."
"Yeah but then it'll be official. Y'know?"
"Even more official, you mean."
Jade looked at the scar on his finger, a small smile forming on his face. "Yeah. Even more." He went back to hugging Peony tightly.
"Remember how Saphir kept asking where the cuts came from?" Peony laughed.
"I told him we got attacked by rabid dogs. And then I foamed up toothpaste around my mouth the next day."
"And then we made him go to the doctor and get a rabies shot because you bit him."
"That needle was HUGE."
"It was. I could hear him screaming from outside."
"At least he won't ever get rabies now."
"At least. Why hasn't he given up on us?"
"He's in love with you."
"Everyone is, but that doesn't mean they follow us around."
"Saphir is special. In more ways than one."
"He puts the S in special."
"And the 'pecial'"
"And you're supposed to be the smart one."
"Which makes you the normal stupid one."
"That wasn't what I meant," Peony said with a sigh.
"Doesn't matter."
Peony grabbed Jade's wrist and dragged him the rest of the way through town. "Go get Nephry, dinner should be soon," he said, standing next to the tree in his yard.
"Okay okay!" Jade pulled back, 'dusting' himself off, "I'll be back in a bit, okay? She'll probably want to pretty herself up first."
"Okay!" Peony nodded and then climbed the tree to sneak back into his room. Not that it was really sneaking at this point, his caretakers were already well aware that he'd been out all day. He'd have to go tell the kitchen staff about his dinner plans.
What: Peony and Jade break into the Keterburg Hotel Spa
When: about 18 years ago
Where: Keterburg Hotel
Why: Cause we can.
Warnings: none?
The spa at the Keterburg hotel was amazing, and as most amazing things go, the price that went with it was equally amazing. While Peony did not lack the gald to go there, he did lack the access to using it for such prurient interests - at least not for a few more years until when he'd become Emperor. Then he could use his money for whatever he wanted, within reason. And scoping out girls in swimsuits in a town that is covered with snow year round is within reason.
Peony and Jade had been waiting for the better part of an hour for their opportunity to sneak into the spa. "You have any ideas for getting in? I don't think we're just going to be able to slip past the girl at the desk."
Jade rolled his eyes at the comment-- if he was going to be the brains of the operation, Peony should just let him do his job, "I considered having you woo her with your charm, but then I forgot you don't have any. Shut up and let me think." He scanned the area, trying to find a supply or service door for them to sneak through. He'd never been to the spa before, after all, he'd no interest in staring at women. His studies always came first, and besides, the girls their age were so stupid. Except for Nephry, but that was a different matter entirely. "Is there a kitchen?"
"I have charm! I've been learning it from my tutors all these years," Peony said, lightly jabbing Jade in the side with his elbow. "I think the kitchen is on another floor, not this one."
"Ow. And how do you feel about heights?"
"I don't mind them, why?"
"Good. We're scaling the side over there." Jade pointed to a row of windows. "If I'm right, the vent nearby means that's the kitchen to the spa, or, if we're even luckier, the sauna room."
"The sauna room?" Peony's eyes lit up with excitement. Girls in towels surrounded by steam. He didn't need any convincing to think this was a great idea. "So we just have to crawl through that vent?"
"No. We're going to enter a window nearby. Unless you want your face to melt."
"Oh.... no I don't want that."
Jade brought a fist up to his chin, scanning Peony with his eyes as if analyzing his features, "It would be an improvement..."
"Hey! That's not funny," Peony said, punching Jade lightly in the arm.
"I was being serious, Peony." Jade shook his head, "It's a grave situation... your face..."
"At least it's not Saphir's face."
"...That's a face?!"
"That's why he's not here."
Jade smirked, "I don't think he's into women, anyway."
Peony struggled to hold back a laugh. "Dammit, Jade. We're going to get caught before we even try. Don't make me laugh."
Jade's smirk turned into a grin, "Okay, okay. Let's get started then."
Edging his way over to the windows, Peony carefully kept an eye out for anyone who might notice what they're up to. Once they were beneath a window, Peony turned and peeeked through the window, standing on tiptoe to get a better look. "I'm going to need your help getting in this window, it's kind of high."
"Fonic or physical?"
"Physical. I don't know any of your artes that will safely lift me."
"Ah. So you've caught on." Jade chuckled, wrapping his arms around Peony's middle, "On three."
"What are you planning to do?" Peony asked. "Wouldn't it just be easier to put your hands together and let me use them to step up?"
"Rape."
"You can save that for later."
Laughing once more, Jade gave a clap on Peony's shoulder before bending down on one knee and holding out his hands, "Hurry. I can't hold you up for long."
"I know." Peony pushed the window open before stepping up onto Jade's hand and hefting himself up through the window. Once he was inside he looked out the window and grinned. "Now to get you in!"
"Don't drop me." Jade warned as he hopped up, arms fully extended for Peony to grasp.
"I'll try not to." He tugged Jade up through the window, almost losing his balance as his feet came through the window.
"My hero~." Jade rolled off of Peony, getting to his feet immediately. "All right, let's get going."
"Remember, look completely natural, like we're supposed to be here," Peony said, though he was probably the one who needed to follow the advice and not Jade.
"Unlike you, I'm the classy type. You're the one that sticks out like a sore thumb."
"I do not."
"You stink, too."
"I took a bath this morning. I don't stink."
"Totally do."
"Maybe it's just your upper lip."
"It can't be. It smells just fine when you're not around."
"It has to be. I'm even wearing a good cologne."
"THAT'S what it is!"
"My cologne doesn't stink."
"Where the hell did you get that?"
"It was a gift from a secret admirer."
"Nephry has better taste than that, so I'm assuming it's someone else?"
"I don't know who it is."
"Do yourself a favor and chuck it."
"Is it really that bad?" Peony frowned.
"Horrible. They'll probably find us by smell alone." Of course, Jade was exaggerating, but at the same time, Peony didn't need a cologne from some random girl when he had Nephry.
"Fine. I'll toss it when we get home." They walked through a couple of corridors before they finally found the changing rooms. "Did you bring something to change into?"
"I was planning on going in the nude. What do you think?"
"That's one way to advertise. Also a way to get us kicked out."
"Don't worry, I brought something." Jade rolled a shoulder to emphasize a small backpack he'd brought, "You?"
"I'm already wearing it." Standing in front of a locker, Peony stripped down to a little blue speedo and grinned widely as he shoved his clothes into the locker.
"How childish." Jade rolled his eyes, stripping off his clothing slowly and folding everything neatly, "You'd better wear a robe. Before you poke someone's eye out."
"I'll poke your eye out," Peony replied, holding his finger up to Jade's face.
"I see." In an instant, Jade craned his neck, and bit down on Peony's finger.
"Bastard," Peony yelped, pulling his hand back. "I'll wear a robe."
"Good boy." Jade smirked, finally down to nothing as he reached into his bag for a modest piece of swimwear
Peony wandered off to grab a couple of robes. After putting one on, he drapped the other over his arm and grabbed a towel. As he returned to where Jade was, he twisted the towel up. And when Jade bent forward slightly to pull on the swim trunks, Peony whipped him hard with the towel.
Not expecting that, Jade jumped up with a muffled cry, slamming his head on the edge of the locker, "PEONY!!!"
Peony threw his head back in laughter, clutching his stomach as he did so.
"YOU SON OF A..." Jade pulled his trunks up haphazardly before tackling Peony to the ground, "That hurt!"
"Well so did your biting my finger. At least you can't catch rabies from a towel."
"I'll probably catch your stupid."
"I'm not stupid. Now get up before I make it very uncomfortable."
"Yes you are. And you're also disgusting." Nevertheless, Jade rose to his feet.
"You can't call me disgusting! You don't even know what I was going to do." Peony got up once Jade was up and handed him the other robe.
"You're disgusting by yourself."
"Come on, let's go." Peony grabbed Jade's arm and dragged him out of the locker room and into the spa area.
"Hold on! Hold on!" Jade did his best to slip the robe on while being tugged along.
"You're too slow."
"You're too impatient!" Jade muttered, "Horny jerk."
"Prude." As they stepped into the spa, Peony's expression changed from the sour look he'd just given Jade into a brilliant smile faster than you could say "rappig".
Jade nearly facepalmed. "Just don't get stupid, okay?"
"Promise." There were girls (and older women) in swimsuits lounging everywhere. Peony found a set of empty lounge chairs and tossed his borrowed robe onto it.
Jade followed suit, folding his own robe neatly in the chair beside Peony's. "I'll be over there." He gestured vaguely at a sauna.
"I'll be out here if you decide to grow a pair and join me." Peony grinned over his shoulder as he lowered himself into the steamy hot water between two very lovely ladies. "I hope I'm not intruding," he said, ignoring that his voice squeaked a little on the last word.
In response, Jade decided that now was as good a time as any to preform a little experiment. He lingered for a few moments before choosing a pool not too far away from where Peony decided to start pulling moves. He sank into the almost boiling water, letting the wisps of steam warm up his face before focusing his hearing on the going ons nearby. Any and all blackmail material ready to be recorded in the young genius' mind.
The two girls giggled, whether this was a good or a bad thing, Peony wasn't sure. Discretion being the better part of valor... he threw all caution to the wind and draped an arm over each girl's shoulder. "What brings you ladies to Keterburg?"
Jade had to keep himself from snorting at that. He could just imagine it now-- the look on Peony's face, the gesture of his body, combined with the effects of puberty? What he wouldn't give for a waterproof camera.
"We've got to go," the one girl said as both of them giggled and stood up. "But it was nice meeting you." While disappointed by his first refusal of the day, Peony wasn't going to give up so easily. There were plenty of other girls in the spa. He watched as the two walked away before starting to scan the room again. He'd have to be a little more selective this time.
Lifting his foggy glasses so they could rest against his forehead, Jade craned his neck, eyes following Peony to see what he would do next. He called out, with an almost evil grin, "Try going for someone closer to your age!" At the same time, he pointed to the children's area.
Peony turned around and glared at Jade. "They were my age. Maybe a year or two older, but close enough."
"Not mentally."
"Shut up." He turned back around and pouted. He was going to show Jade that he could land a girl easily if he picked the right one.
"Twenty gald says the next one hits you!" Jade continued to jeer.
"It's on," Peony replied. He caught a girl's eye from across the room and smiled. When she returned the smile he looked over at his shoulder at Jade and grinned. "Prepare to pay up." He stood up and made his way across to the girl, stepping out of the one pool and into the next. "Hey, beautiful," her said as he sat down next to her. "I couldn't help but notice someone with as charming a smile as you."
Jade floated to the other end of his pool of choice, ignoring the other patrons in favor of keeping an eye on his best friend. He pushed his glasses so they rested on his crown as he prepared for a show.
The girl leaned over to whisper something in Peony's ear and he laughed before murmuring something back to her. Their exchange continued like this for several moments before Peony decided to take it a little further, letting his lips brush against her ear. The slap that ensued echoed throughout the room and Peony sank down under the water to hide. He didn't care if it was uncomfortably hot. It was better than seeing the 'I told you so' on Jade's face.
Laughing, Jade hoisted himself out of the water, and took long strides over to the lump of blonde that was Peony. Slipping in next to him, he clapped a shoulder, "Good show, there."
"Shut up," Peony mumbled, raising his head out of the water only far enough to speak.
Jade only chuckled harder, "You work waaaaay too fast, Peony."
"That wasn't entirely my fault. I think she heard you and was stringing me along into that. You should have heard what she was saying."
"Do tell!"
"I'll tell you later."
"You're no fun, Peony."
"Fine," Peony leaned over and whispered all that the girl had said to him into Jade's ear along with his responses. He of course, left off the brushing of his lip against Jade's ear. That was a little more detail than Jade needed to know.
Jade waited until he was done before pondering what he'd just learned, "She was probably a pedophile."
"What?" Peony looked at Jade with wide eyes. "She wasn't that old!"
"Deeefinitely a pedo."
"She was not!" Peony wasn't sure why he was defending the woman that had just slapped him.
"Do you need counseling, Peony? After, you know, being objectified?" Jade was having faaaarrr too much fun with this.
Peony rolled his eyes, "No, don't be ridiculous."
Jade snickered, but decided to leave it alone, "Maybe you should just give up. You already owe me twenty gald."
"You wanted to go in the sauna, right?" Peony asked, changing the subject.
"Only if you want to. You know I don't like the heat all that much."
"I promise you won't melt." Peony stood up and grabbed Jade's arm, leading him to a sauna. There was the chance that there'd be girls there that hadn't witnessed his two failures.
"No no," Jade retorted dryly, "Your bright and sunny attitude is enough to melt me already. Don't make me go in there."
"We're going in." Of course, of all the rooms to pick, it was the one full of only men, but if Peony left now, it would be obvious his goal had only been to hit on mor girls. With a sigh he sat down, wishing he'd at least bothered to grab a towel.
Jade sat next to him, leaning against the seat as steam clouded his senses. He sighed, already feeling the sweat bead along his brow, and his cheeks flushing beneath his far too pale skin tone. "How long do you want to stay for?"
"You need to get used to the heat, Jade," Peony said.
"So you're going to melt me into submission?"
"I'm not the sadist in this relationship."
Jade quirked an eyebrow, "Don't make me hit you. I don't care if the kids see it."
"See what I mean?"
"You get off on it. Don't lie."
Peony crossed his arms and shut up. A man from across the room, who looked to be in his mid to late twenties got up and headed their way. Peony chose to ignore him, assuming he was just leaving when the man smiled salaciously at him. "Uh, Jade?" he whispered. "Let's get out of here."
Jade was already two steps ahead of Peony, dropping the pleasant face shooting the man a deadly warning glare. Anyone. Anyone who dared to lay a hand on Peony would have to get past him first. "Yeah. Let's." He took Peony by the wrist, and tugged gently.
As soon as they escaped the sauna, Peony shuddered, "Now that guy was a pedophile."
"Mmm." Jade only half paid attention to Peony's words, looking back over their shoulders in case the guy tried to come after them, still in SRS BSNS mode.
"I feel so gross."
"More than usual?"
"Shut up," Peony said, nudging him in the side.
Jade grinned at that, finally relaxing fully. "It just figures that it's the place you choose that has the pedo."
"How does that figure?"
A few moments passed as Jade stared at Peony point blank, his face completely unreadable. Finally, he spoke, "Well... it's you."
Peony just stared back at him, perplexed. "What?"
"You just... have really crappy luck."
"There's nothing wrong with my luck."
"Sorry but, it really does suck."
"If it sucked so much, we would have been caught."
"...You probably just jinxed it."
"Hmph." Peony crossed his arms and walked ahead of Jade into the locker room.
Jade sighed. Maybe he'd pushed it too far this time. Shrugging, he walked over to the chairs Peony had picked, and reclaimed their robes. Jogging slightly, and making sure he didn't slip, he caught up to Peony, draping his robe over his shoulders.
"Guard the door so I can get changed. I don't want that pervert walking in while I'm naked."
"All right." Jade walked out of the room, pulling on his own robe as he did so. Obediently, he stood by the door, almost like a child who had been scolded.
Peony hadn't meant for Jade to leave the room. Sighing he grabbed his clothes out of the locker and stripped off his speedos, drying off thoroughly before getting dressed. He'd shower once they got home. He wasn't going to make Jade wait out there that long. A few moments later he opened the door and peeked out. "I'm decent now," he murmured before going to sulk on the bench.
Jade nodded and walked back inside, combing through his hair roughly with his fingertips along the way. Allowing Peony room to brood, he took his clothing out of his locker, opting to change a bit away from the other boy. Whenever Peony got like that Jade didn't know how to offset the awkward, so he slipped out of his wet shorts in silence, the only sounds the ruffling of fabric has he began to put on his dry clothing from before. Finally, he decided to break the silence, "...Sorry."
"It's fine." Peony reached for Jade's hand and dropped some coins into it. "There's your twenty gald."
Jade pocketed it and threw on a shirt, "Hey. Why don't I treat us to ice cream?"
"In the hotel restaurant, or from the store?"
"You pick."
"The restaurant." As they headed out the front entrance, the girl at the counter stopped them. "You're Peony, correct?" she asked. "Next time you'd like to use the facilities, please enter the proper way. Your family has a membership."
Jade had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from laughing. He fingered the gald in his pocket-- if only he had bet on them being found.
"Oh... right... I didn't know." Peony blushed. The girl added, "You didn't before today, but they were quick to purchase one after the complaints we received."
That did it. Jade almost had to stuff a fist into his mouth to cover up the snickering.
"Oh." Peony grabbed Jade's wrist and headed for the elevator, his face red with embarrassment. "It's not funny."
"It's h-hysterical!" Jade allowed himself to giggle uncontrollably.
"Is not." Peony stabbed the elevator buttons with his finger.
"It so is! C'mon, if it were me, you'd be laughing too."
"So?"
"So I'm allowed to laugh at you."
Peony sighed as the elevator doors opened to the second floor restaurant. "Let's go get the ice cream."
Jade wrapped an arm around Peony's shoulders, giving them a tight squeeze, "Don't be mad, okay?"
"I'm not mad," Peony said, relaxing at the soothing motion.
He squeezed again, this time also leaning his head on Peony's shoulder. Jade hated to see him upset in any way, "You were before."
"I was embarrassed, not mad."
"Don't be embarrassed either."
"I just didn't want that pervert looking at me any more."
"Do you want me to take care of it?"
"It's fine, Jade, but thanks."
"Sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?"
"It was my fault."
"How was it your fault?"
"The joke ran longer than it should have."
"Huh?"
"What got the pedo coming after us. I should have cut the joke short."
"Don't worry about it," Peony said, as they were seated in the restaurant. Mostly he wasn't sure what the joke was and he really didn't care to know at this point.
"Idiot." Jade helped himself to the usual complimentary bread-- for some reason, he was always, always hungry, and that put a strain on him and Nephry moneywise, so he did what he could to sate his appetite.
"You and Nephry should come over for dinner tonight! We're having salmon!" Peony grinned. He didn't mind losing bets to Jade when money was involved, not that he would admit to it.
Jade's eyes almost lit up at that, "Really?"
"Really!"
"I'll tell her! She likes going over your house a lot."
Peony blushed then quickly flagged over a waitress. "We'd like to order. I'll have a chocolate sundae with extra fudge, extra whipped cream and a cherry."
"Pig. I'll have plain vanilla, please."
"I only get the extra because you always wind up stealing some of it."
"Only the whipped cream."
Peony stuck his tongue out at Jade.
"Your manners suck as bad as your luck."
"My manners are fine when I choose to use them."
"The problem is you never choose to use them."
"I use them when I have to."
"Like when?"
"In front of important company."
"Pretty girls don't count."
"They do, too!"
"At this rate, your parents are gonna go through with an arranged marriage."
"They better not," Peony said, making a face. "I still intend to marry your sister."
"Y'know why she likes your house so much?"
"Why?"
"'cause she'll get to live with you in there someday."
Peony grinned and blushed again. "Shut up."
"I read it in her diary. So you know it's the truth."
"Why are you reading her diary, you snoop?"
"I'm keeping tabs on my little sister."
"More like invading her privacy!"
"Keeping her safe."
"What from?"
"Predators like you."
"I'm not a predator!" Peony protested, just in time for the waitress to deliver their ice cream.
"You totally are!" Jade decided to take advantage of the situation, "My poor sister!"
"Don't mind him. He's a little delusional," Peony said to the waitress, flashing her his most charming smile.
Jade smirked as the waitress flashed a grin of her own, although more confused. "Eat your ice cream."
Peony popped the cherry into his mouth before digging into the ice cream. He didn't needto be told twice to eat it and proved this by the huge size of his first bite.
Jade shook his head again as he dug his spoon into his own ice cream, the indent considerably smaller than Peony's.
As the ice cream melted against the roof of his mouth, Peony made a face as he remembered that huge bites of ice cream like this gave him brain freeze.
"...Again?"
"Shut up," Peony managed around the mouthful of ice cream.
"You're gonna drip everywhere."
Peony closed his mouth until the bite was gone.
"It's like taking care of a little kid, I swear."
"Oh shut up. At least I'm not dripping snot into my ice cream."
"How'd you get rid of Saphir anyway?"
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."
"Now I gotta hear this."
"I told him we were doing a scavenger hunt and gave him a list of items to find. But half the things can't be found in Keterburg. At least not easily."
"...You're a genius."
"Thank you. I put a 24 hour time limit on it and the winner gets 100 gald."
"Knowing him, he's probably on a boat to some other part of the world by now."
"Probably. It's worth the gald if it keeps him away until tomorrow afternoon. He's probably not going to sleep until the hunt is done, which means he'll crash tomorrow and we'll have another day free of him."
"...He's a pretty heavy sleeper. Let's throw him naked into the snow again."
"Face down or face up?"
"What did we do last time?"
"Face up? I think."
"Face down, then."
"He's going to get frostbite on his dick... Not that he'll ever use it for anything that needs feeling."
"We'd be doing him a favor, really."
"Of course," Peony laughed. His ice cream was melting, but that just meant he'd be having ice cream soup soon. He stirred the contents of his bowl before taking a globby brown bite.
Jade took another spoonful. "We're such good friends."
"We are. He's lucky to have us, really."
"No wonder he clings to us."
"He'd be silly not to."
Jade sucked on his spoon thoughtfully, "...Think he'll follow us to the palace?"
"He'll probably try, but maybe we'll get lucky and he won't."
"He'll swim if he has to."
"Wonder if I told him the only way he could stay at the palace is if he became my pet. You think he'd do it?"
"Tell him the only way is to become my pet. Then you know he'll do it."
"He does tend to look at you - I mean up at you more."
Sheepi: "..." Jade's body shuddered involuntarily.
"Maybe we could have sacrificed him to that pedo earlier if he'd came."
"Like a human shield?"
"Exactly!"
"He'd probably melt away."
"Must be a side effect of growing up in such a cold climate."
"Nah, he's just weak."
"You were moaning about melting in the sauna."
"That was my impersonation of him. You should have waited until I started sniffling."
"Of course. I'm sure that sweat was fake, too."
"I'm just that good an actor."
"Of course, of course."
"I think I'm going to become a movie star."
"I'll buy all your movies."
"What if I decide to go into porn movies?"
"I'll buy them, but I won't watch them."
"You're so gracious."
"I'm sure Saphir will watch them. <3"
"...You just completely ruined my dream."
"So sorry." Peony finished his ice cream and tried his best not to laugh.
"That's all right. I'll just be a good boy and go into the military."
"Good."
"You want me to go into the military?"
"It's better than porn."
"Yeah, but that wasn't really an option."
"Then what is a real option?"
"Maybe autopsy."
"You'd be really good at that."
"I could use the data, too."
Peony smiled wide, masking the fact that he'd meant it when he said going into the military would be good. It would mean that Jade would be there once he had to go back to Grand Chokmah.
"...My family's pushing me to go into the military anyway. So I'll try for a scientist position there."
"They'd be crazy to turn you down."
"Maybe I'll get to work in a dungeon."
"You'll never see the light of day again if you do."
"But I'll get my very own apprentice named Igor."
"For a genius, you sure do have stupid ideas sometimes."
"It's every genius' dream!"
"Geniuses are weird."
"We're just misunderstood."
"Really? Is that it?"
"Yup."
"Hmmm."
"Hmmm?"
"Is that why Saphir is always whining about how I don't understand him?"
"No, he's just special."
"One of these days we should include him in something."
"Ew."
"Not anything public."
"...Maybe."
"I didn't say we had to be nice."
"Well, okay then."
"Let's head back home," Peony said with a big grin. "You should stay the night tonight."
"You still have my pajamas, right?"
"Of course!"
"Okay, then!!!"
"Too bad Nephry can't stay the night any more."
"Yeah. Since you're a predator and all."
"I'm not a predator."
"So are."
"Am not." Peony slapped down enough gald to cover their ice creams and took off running out of the restaurant, knowing if he didn't, Jade would have the time to complain about his paying.
"HEY!" Jade dashed out after him, "I said it was my treat!"
"It's not fair that you have to spend the money you won off our bet on me."
"I can do what I want with it!"
"Spend it on something else!"
"I have my own money for that!"
"I promise I'll let you treat next time."
"No you wont."
"You could buy Nephry that ribbon she keeps eyeing in the store window," Peony said, trying to change the subject.
"Should I say it's from you?"
"Say it's from the both of us."
"...Fine."
"It'll make her happy if it's from you, too." Peony draped an arm over Jade's shoulder as the elevator (which they got on at some point) came to a halt on the first floor.
"I'm just her big brother. It's more special coming from you."
"You're stupid if you think it isn't special coming from you."
"I didn't say that! Idiot."
"That's they way you're acting."
"No it's not."
"Then what are you saying?"
"Nothing. Just trying to help you out."
"I'm not going to let you buy something with the money you won and give all the credit to me."
"I won it from you."
"So?"
"So you technically got it."
"I'll just tell her the truth if you don't."
"All right. All right."
"Her birthday is coming up soon, isn't it?"
"Next week, yeah."
"Then that can be a birthday present!"
"All right."
"That one can be from just you. And I'll pick something else out for her from me."
"Fine, fine. There's no use arguing with you."
"You always say that when I'm right and you can't think of any other excuses."
"Because you're a blockhead."
"I am not." Peony said, kicking a pile of snow as they stepped out of the hotel.
"That's why you have me." Jade leaned closer to Peony, "You need someone to make sure you don't do stupid things."
"Or at least someone to profit off the stupid things I do."
"That's just a perk."
"Is it?"
"One of a bunch."
"What are the others?"
Jade pulled Peony close, wrapping his arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze.
Peony hugged back and laughed. "Is that your way of getting out of answering, or is that an answer?"
"An answer, you dumbass."
"I know. I was teasing."
"You're still a dumbass."
"You wouldn't have me any other way."
"I guess not."
"I bet the reason I can't get any girls is because they all think we're a couple."
"Probably."
"It's not like I really want them anyway."
"Then my plan's working."
"The plan to marry your sister off to me or to steal me for yourself?"
"Marry my sister off."
"Like you need to make that your plan. When haven't I wanted to marry her?"
"It always help to have a back up. Besides, if you marry her, we get to be brothers."
"Yeah, I know," Peony grinned. "Not that I need to marry Nephry to consider you that."
"Yeah but then it'll be official. Y'know?"
"Even more official, you mean."
Jade looked at the scar on his finger, a small smile forming on his face. "Yeah. Even more." He went back to hugging Peony tightly.
"Remember how Saphir kept asking where the cuts came from?" Peony laughed.
"I told him we got attacked by rabid dogs. And then I foamed up toothpaste around my mouth the next day."
"And then we made him go to the doctor and get a rabies shot because you bit him."
"That needle was HUGE."
"It was. I could hear him screaming from outside."
"At least he won't ever get rabies now."
"At least. Why hasn't he given up on us?"
"He's in love with you."
"Everyone is, but that doesn't mean they follow us around."
"Saphir is special. In more ways than one."
"He puts the S in special."
"And the 'pecial'"
"And you're supposed to be the smart one."
"Which makes you the normal stupid one."
"That wasn't what I meant," Peony said with a sigh.
"Doesn't matter."
Peony grabbed Jade's wrist and dragged him the rest of the way through town. "Go get Nephry, dinner should be soon," he said, standing next to the tree in his yard.
"Okay okay!" Jade pulled back, 'dusting' himself off, "I'll be back in a bit, okay? She'll probably want to pretty herself up first."
"Okay!" Peony nodded and then climbed the tree to sneak back into his room. Not that it was really sneaking at this point, his caretakers were already well aware that he'd been out all day. He'd have to go tell the kitchen staff about his dinner plans.