(no subject)
Title: Starbucks Anonymous
Writer: Ren
Words: 2389
Genre: Slash/Humour. That's how it came out I did not have my serious head on and hopefully you will love it, I love NCIS but this called to me to be a humourous piece.
Warning: none bit of touchy feely tho
Pairing: Leroy Jethro Gibbs/ Donald “Ducky” Mallard (NCIS)
Summary: How a caffeine addict can raise hell for twenty four hours
Disclaimer: Too broke, but you could have my kid.
Author’s note: This came to life while chatting in a LJ entry of toomuchfandom with Nakeisha and Toomuchfandom.
beta by toomuchfandom
Any way here is my part of the agreed bargain.
“Aww hell”, Tony shouted as he slammed the phone down hard.
Both McGee and Ziva looked up in shock, as the normally light hearted joker of NCIS, sat cursing silently to himself. Finally looking up and remembering he wasn’t alone, he fixed his gaze on McGee. “Probie” he whispered, “It’s Starbucks Alert, today! Now!” Tony very nearly whimpered, which did no good at all for his manly vanity.
McGee gulped, so loudly that even Ziva could hear it. “Whhhatt nowww?” Panic stricken eyes darted back and forth.
“Yes Now! Probie” Tony commanded as he swept from his desk, a flurry of papers marking his exit.
“Shhhhh…” the remaining words stopped as McGee focused on the puzzled face of Ziva.
“Exactly Probie”, Tony did a lame interpretation of Gibbs head slap. McGee’s ears rung and he tried to give Tony the evil eye but was unsuccessful as always.
”Where you going Tony” asked McGee as his eyes followed Tony who was progressing quickly towards the nearest stationery cupboard.
“Do you think I am gonna hang round with Gibbs on the loose” a frantic DiNozzo replied as he tried to edge his six foot frame into a four foot four inch space, “Abby warned me” his speech was them muffled as he managed to trap his head in a copier paper box. “Ducky has only gone and told him that he has a physical planned and to lay of the caffeine for twenty four hours. You do know what that means now don’t you”.
McGee nodded in agreement.
Ziva meanwhile was wondering why this morning she had even bothered to wake up, all she saw was a scenario that would be better placed in “Fawlty Towers” or even “Monty Python.”
McGee too was a sight to behold, desperately trying to make himself invisible by hiding under his desk, with a waste paper basket placed over his head.
“This is a joke, right? April fools has another date in this mad country?” Ziva remarked,
“Oh Boy “ Tim piped up from under the basket, “You’d best run Ziva, if you still want your limbs”. Gibbs is not a pretty sight when caffeine deprivation sets in, and I know”. A look of agony settled on his face, well it would if it wasn’t masked by a woven basket.
“Do you seriously think that I would run away from Gibbs because of a mere small problem” She clasped her arms to her waist, looking very school marmish indeed.
“Bye bye Ziva” called Tony who had now managed to squeeze himself into the cupboard, “Give my regards to Ari”.
Ziva threw a cup at the cupboard unfortunately missing Tony, who was safely tucked away.
It was pointless for Ziva to give an arrogant stare as no one would see it, but she stayed where she was ready to fight, she was unafraid, she could face Gibbs, they had some sort of bond in a way, she was safe. Or so she thought.
BANG BOOM!! McGee gave a girlish shriek at the sudden noise, Ziva who only a minute ago was standing tall like Napoleon, suddenly found courage had deserted her at this inappropriate time and gave a flying leap ending up in McGee’s lap. He continued shrieking under the cover of his basket until Ziva whacked it several times
Tony sat cramped in the dark awaiting the wraith known as Agent Gibbs, to end his existence. But it looked like he would live for another few minutes at least, he slowly opened the door a bit and squinting through the crack stared at Ziva who was manically striking a basket laden Probie.
The elevator door opened, Tony’s heart missed a beat, but then recovered to see Ducky on their floor, and he was whistling, hands tucked in the pockets of his trousers. Bow tie neatly tied.
Ducky raised his eyebrow an inch at the sight of two of his co workers grappling behind a desk, one wearing what looked to be a waste paper bin, and the other obviously trying to imprint it into the wearer’s skull.
“Psst” whispered Tony, “hey Ducky, over here”.
Ducky’s brilliant blue eyes grew wide at the sounds coming from the cupboard. “And they call me crazy for talking to my dead clients”. He shook his head, and followed the whispered command.
Ducky hovered at the door of Tony’s hideaway, keeping one eye on the scene in front of him. He took time to consider whether he had missed something relating to the mating behaviour of young NCIS agents, and briefly thought that this game was getting out of hand, what possible sexual enjoyment could be achieved from having your head bashed in by a bin.
But he kept the scene in mind for a possible scenario involving him and Gibbs, obviously using less violence, but at least Ziva looked as if she was enjoying herself.
“Yes Anthony” Ducky was far too polite to enquire as to why Tony had suddenly acquired acrophobia. “Seen Gibbs Duck” Tony’s deep voice quivered.
“No Anthony Agent Gibbs is in my office.
“Why Ducky why spoil our day, I am only young I don’t wanna die… again”. Ducky laughed deep in his chest. He didn’t want to let on that Gibbs was very nearly in a catatonic state once being informed by his lover that he was to be caffeine free for twenty four hours.
“Agent Gibbs is well out of reach Anthony” Ducky replied in his best doctor comfort voice. “Why don’t you come out of there?”
“Eh I think I will stay here Ducky, just for the time being until six at least. Then I might consider it”
“You look awfully cramped in there young Tony, Can’t be too good for the circulation” he heard rather than saw Tony’s hesitation. “I assure you Tony that Jethro is not going to charge up here and start a mass war
As this was going on McGee and Ziva seemed to have finished their strange courtship routine and where now braving the open space between the desks.
They both wondered why Ducky was giving then both odd looks but merely smiled to cover their discomfort. “Hello eh Ducky” McGee squeaked, Ziva gave a weak smile, and Ducky’s eyes glinted behind his bifocals.
“Young people today. You know in my day I remember a young couple who decided to consummate their love along side the Shropshire Union canal, unfortunately…..” “DUCKY” Tony shouted as he fell out of the cupboard thus knocking the doctor into the path of an embarrassed McGee.
“All clear” Tony said unnecessarily. Ducky gave him a quirk of his eyebrow and a rather steel like look.
Ducky decided that he would be better returning to his haven, where at least he could check on his lover, wondering if Jethro had now returned to reality.
For some odd and unnerving reason Tony, Ziva and McGee followed Ducky back down to his office, stopping on the way to check on Abby, who after a quick search by all could not be found. A large container of Caf-Pow, a full one at that, was lying next to Abby’s state of the art PC.
“Now that is odd” McGee offered, “something’s up if Abbs has left a full cup of this” he lifted the container into the air to show the others. “Put the container slowly down NOW and walk away from it” They all turned in several directions to hear the bodiless voice.
“McGee put the damn container down, before I really hurt you,” Abby’s voice floated hauntingly round her empty workspace. McGee very nearly dropped the container but considered that his life would end sooner than he liked, and endeavoured to slowly return it to its previous resting place.
“Where the hell are you Sciuto” Tony demanded doing a damn good job of hiding his earlier fear. “Show yourself woman”.
“Oh how masterful “ scorned Ziva, Any minute now she would start spitting like a caged cat.
”Has Gibbs gone, Geez how the hell did I get under here” Abby groaned, “Hey McGee give me a hand, you touch anything that you shouldn’t and I will bite it off” Tim shivered, and turned, his eyes widened in shock as he saw the rather crouched figure of Abby struggling to release herself from what could only be a ordinary shopping mall cart.
Ducky thought that his own endearing traits were now no longer odd after what he had seen during the past few hours. He wondered if anyone has released some form of hormonal gas in the office lately, and wondered if it was possible that he might be suffering from it too, he let slip a giggle at the prospect of a delightful night ahead of him,
The other agents turned to him in suspicion and he gave a grave look.
After saving Abby from the jaws of the shopping cart, and reassuring her that Gibbs was not as yet on a murdering rampage, they tried to get a semblance of order together.
Tony decided as senior officer he would take charge, Ziva merely grunted possibly offended by his slippery eel act or the fact that her own superiority complex had been badly bruised.
Ducky stood back and watched as the team that had unravelled before his eyes were now discussing the possibility of capturing his beloved Jethro as if he were a wild tiger. “How appropriate, a wild unleashed, untrained tiger”, his body writhed at that thought.
The soldier/spy/Doctor in Ducky took charge. “Oh for pity’s sake come with me Jethro is not on a vendetta , he certainly is not going to go on a witch hunt, he is merely being encouraged to sacrifice a particular beverage for approximately twenty four hours, possibly less than that now” as he adjusted his watch.
The others looked in astonishment at Ducky, and in their minds planned that they would be behind Ducky should Gibbs pounce
Trailing after each other, like preschoolers on a trip, they reached Ducky’s domain.
As the doors to autopsy whooshed open Ducky shouted out “Mr Palmer, it’s perfectly safe to come out, Agent Gibbs is not going to attack you, god forbid that should happen, If any one has the right to dissect you bit by bit they would have to fight me in the line up.”.
Jimmy Palmer, pathologist in the making, if he ever survived that is, creeped slowly out of the changing room, nervously eying the large cold room
“Hey Palmer, Scared huh” Shouted Tony who was getting more and more into the role of boss. Ducky gave him another steel stare, enough to even silence his beloved Jethro, as he had done many many times, in the quiet of their home.
Tony’s speech wavered off as Ducky continued to stare. Finally defeated the young man looked away, missing Ducky’s smirk.
Ducky gave a big breath as he went closer to the room that currently housed the one thing that meant everything in his life for the past twenty five years. Pulling himself up to his height, looking larger than his normal small frame, he opened his office door, and before the others could enter, closed it after him, shutting out the outside world. Immediately there was a fracas, of bodies hurtling themselves at the door, anything to get close to hearing what was going on in Ducky’s office.
Mumbled voices, silence then shouting then more mumbling but not distinguishable to work out whether it was Ducky talking or Gibbs. Finally for what seemed like hours the door opened and Ducky slowly came into view, head bent and shoulders drooping.
“Duck” said Abby as she rested her hand on his shoulder. Ducky signed dramatically. Watery blue sky coloured eyes looked deep into Abby’s kohl lined ones. “I was wrong Abigail, he’s not coping very well, I think he should stay here with me for a little while at least, I don’t really want to let him loose up stairs what with Jennifer prowling round “ Abby nodded her head in agreement and turned to the others motioning that they should all go back to their floor and leave Ducky to deal with Gibbs and his current dilemma.
As he watched the others leaving all deeply affected by this current situation, Ducky felt a glimpse of guilt, but that didn’t last for long as the saddened blue eyes gave way to mirth and devilment.
He turned round and returned to his office, grinning like a young lover he came face to face with the man he had devoted his life to. “Duck you’ve been a very bad boy” Gibbs sensual tone sent shivers up Ducky’s spine, that reverberated through his whole body, a body that still retained the muscles and capability of youth.
I merely decided we should have some “Us” time my dear, what better way to detract others from contacting us at inappropriate moments” Ducky returned as he sat on Jethro’s knee freely touching the warm skin, rejoicing that his plan had worked, “No interruptions, total peace and quiet, no thoughts but just us, just the two of us,” Jethro blue eyes crinkled in amusement and appreciation.
Now I can carry out my thorough examination of you, where were we, oh yes I remember, “Ducky continued to feast on Jethro’s face, touching what he could that was in reach, Ducky was a very tactile person, he loved the feel of his Jethro, the feel of the strength of him, encased in that fine typically masculine body, that always reacted to his touch, knowing that this body was for him only, gave him such immense pride and satisfaction that he still was afraid to wake up some times for fear that it was not reality, but Jethro always reminded him that this was something that would continue for a very long time.
Left alone they could take their time to familiarise themselves with every curve of skin and bone every touch, whether clothed or unclothed. Gone were the heady days of desperate sex, heavy breathing, and rushed climaxes. So sure where they of the depth of their love, that time had no consequence, they could spend hours merely touching, merely scanning and mapping their bodies.
And without unnecessary interruption and Ducky’s rather grand plan, today they could again take their time and celebrate the union of their souls as well as their bodies
The End
Writer: Ren
Words: 2389
Genre: Slash/Humour. That's how it came out I did not have my serious head on and hopefully you will love it, I love NCIS but this called to me to be a humourous piece.
Warning: none bit of touchy feely tho
Pairing: Leroy Jethro Gibbs/ Donald “Ducky” Mallard (NCIS)
Summary: How a caffeine addict can raise hell for twenty four hours
Disclaimer: Too broke, but you could have my kid.
Author’s note: This came to life while chatting in a LJ entry of toomuchfandom with Nakeisha and Toomuchfandom.
beta by toomuchfandom
Any way here is my part of the agreed bargain.
“Aww hell”, Tony shouted as he slammed the phone down hard.
Both McGee and Ziva looked up in shock, as the normally light hearted joker of NCIS, sat cursing silently to himself. Finally looking up and remembering he wasn’t alone, he fixed his gaze on McGee. “Probie” he whispered, “It’s Starbucks Alert, today! Now!” Tony very nearly whimpered, which did no good at all for his manly vanity.
McGee gulped, so loudly that even Ziva could hear it. “Whhhatt nowww?” Panic stricken eyes darted back and forth.
“Yes Now! Probie” Tony commanded as he swept from his desk, a flurry of papers marking his exit.
“Shhhhh…” the remaining words stopped as McGee focused on the puzzled face of Ziva.
“Exactly Probie”, Tony did a lame interpretation of Gibbs head slap. McGee’s ears rung and he tried to give Tony the evil eye but was unsuccessful as always.
”Where you going Tony” asked McGee as his eyes followed Tony who was progressing quickly towards the nearest stationery cupboard.
“Do you think I am gonna hang round with Gibbs on the loose” a frantic DiNozzo replied as he tried to edge his six foot frame into a four foot four inch space, “Abby warned me” his speech was them muffled as he managed to trap his head in a copier paper box. “Ducky has only gone and told him that he has a physical planned and to lay of the caffeine for twenty four hours. You do know what that means now don’t you”.
McGee nodded in agreement.
Ziva meanwhile was wondering why this morning she had even bothered to wake up, all she saw was a scenario that would be better placed in “Fawlty Towers” or even “Monty Python.”
McGee too was a sight to behold, desperately trying to make himself invisible by hiding under his desk, with a waste paper basket placed over his head.
“This is a joke, right? April fools has another date in this mad country?” Ziva remarked,
“Oh Boy “ Tim piped up from under the basket, “You’d best run Ziva, if you still want your limbs”. Gibbs is not a pretty sight when caffeine deprivation sets in, and I know”. A look of agony settled on his face, well it would if it wasn’t masked by a woven basket.
“Do you seriously think that I would run away from Gibbs because of a mere small problem” She clasped her arms to her waist, looking very school marmish indeed.
“Bye bye Ziva” called Tony who had now managed to squeeze himself into the cupboard, “Give my regards to Ari”.
Ziva threw a cup at the cupboard unfortunately missing Tony, who was safely tucked away.
It was pointless for Ziva to give an arrogant stare as no one would see it, but she stayed where she was ready to fight, she was unafraid, she could face Gibbs, they had some sort of bond in a way, she was safe. Or so she thought.
BANG BOOM!! McGee gave a girlish shriek at the sudden noise, Ziva who only a minute ago was standing tall like Napoleon, suddenly found courage had deserted her at this inappropriate time and gave a flying leap ending up in McGee’s lap. He continued shrieking under the cover of his basket until Ziva whacked it several times
Tony sat cramped in the dark awaiting the wraith known as Agent Gibbs, to end his existence. But it looked like he would live for another few minutes at least, he slowly opened the door a bit and squinting through the crack stared at Ziva who was manically striking a basket laden Probie.
The elevator door opened, Tony’s heart missed a beat, but then recovered to see Ducky on their floor, and he was whistling, hands tucked in the pockets of his trousers. Bow tie neatly tied.
Ducky raised his eyebrow an inch at the sight of two of his co workers grappling behind a desk, one wearing what looked to be a waste paper bin, and the other obviously trying to imprint it into the wearer’s skull.
“Psst” whispered Tony, “hey Ducky, over here”.
Ducky’s brilliant blue eyes grew wide at the sounds coming from the cupboard. “And they call me crazy for talking to my dead clients”. He shook his head, and followed the whispered command.
Ducky hovered at the door of Tony’s hideaway, keeping one eye on the scene in front of him. He took time to consider whether he had missed something relating to the mating behaviour of young NCIS agents, and briefly thought that this game was getting out of hand, what possible sexual enjoyment could be achieved from having your head bashed in by a bin.
But he kept the scene in mind for a possible scenario involving him and Gibbs, obviously using less violence, but at least Ziva looked as if she was enjoying herself.
“Yes Anthony” Ducky was far too polite to enquire as to why Tony had suddenly acquired acrophobia. “Seen Gibbs Duck” Tony’s deep voice quivered.
“No Anthony Agent Gibbs is in my office.
“Why Ducky why spoil our day, I am only young I don’t wanna die… again”. Ducky laughed deep in his chest. He didn’t want to let on that Gibbs was very nearly in a catatonic state once being informed by his lover that he was to be caffeine free for twenty four hours.
“Agent Gibbs is well out of reach Anthony” Ducky replied in his best doctor comfort voice. “Why don’t you come out of there?”
“Eh I think I will stay here Ducky, just for the time being until six at least. Then I might consider it”
“You look awfully cramped in there young Tony, Can’t be too good for the circulation” he heard rather than saw Tony’s hesitation. “I assure you Tony that Jethro is not going to charge up here and start a mass war
As this was going on McGee and Ziva seemed to have finished their strange courtship routine and where now braving the open space between the desks.
They both wondered why Ducky was giving then both odd looks but merely smiled to cover their discomfort. “Hello eh Ducky” McGee squeaked, Ziva gave a weak smile, and Ducky’s eyes glinted behind his bifocals.
“Young people today. You know in my day I remember a young couple who decided to consummate their love along side the Shropshire Union canal, unfortunately…..” “DUCKY” Tony shouted as he fell out of the cupboard thus knocking the doctor into the path of an embarrassed McGee.
“All clear” Tony said unnecessarily. Ducky gave him a quirk of his eyebrow and a rather steel like look.
Ducky decided that he would be better returning to his haven, where at least he could check on his lover, wondering if Jethro had now returned to reality.
For some odd and unnerving reason Tony, Ziva and McGee followed Ducky back down to his office, stopping on the way to check on Abby, who after a quick search by all could not be found. A large container of Caf-Pow, a full one at that, was lying next to Abby’s state of the art PC.
“Now that is odd” McGee offered, “something’s up if Abbs has left a full cup of this” he lifted the container into the air to show the others. “Put the container slowly down NOW and walk away from it” They all turned in several directions to hear the bodiless voice.
“McGee put the damn container down, before I really hurt you,” Abby’s voice floated hauntingly round her empty workspace. McGee very nearly dropped the container but considered that his life would end sooner than he liked, and endeavoured to slowly return it to its previous resting place.
“Where the hell are you Sciuto” Tony demanded doing a damn good job of hiding his earlier fear. “Show yourself woman”.
“Oh how masterful “ scorned Ziva, Any minute now she would start spitting like a caged cat.
”Has Gibbs gone, Geez how the hell did I get under here” Abby groaned, “Hey McGee give me a hand, you touch anything that you shouldn’t and I will bite it off” Tim shivered, and turned, his eyes widened in shock as he saw the rather crouched figure of Abby struggling to release herself from what could only be a ordinary shopping mall cart.
Ducky thought that his own endearing traits were now no longer odd after what he had seen during the past few hours. He wondered if anyone has released some form of hormonal gas in the office lately, and wondered if it was possible that he might be suffering from it too, he let slip a giggle at the prospect of a delightful night ahead of him,
The other agents turned to him in suspicion and he gave a grave look.
After saving Abby from the jaws of the shopping cart, and reassuring her that Gibbs was not as yet on a murdering rampage, they tried to get a semblance of order together.
Tony decided as senior officer he would take charge, Ziva merely grunted possibly offended by his slippery eel act or the fact that her own superiority complex had been badly bruised.
Ducky stood back and watched as the team that had unravelled before his eyes were now discussing the possibility of capturing his beloved Jethro as if he were a wild tiger. “How appropriate, a wild unleashed, untrained tiger”, his body writhed at that thought.
The soldier/spy/Doctor in Ducky took charge. “Oh for pity’s sake come with me Jethro is not on a vendetta , he certainly is not going to go on a witch hunt, he is merely being encouraged to sacrifice a particular beverage for approximately twenty four hours, possibly less than that now” as he adjusted his watch.
The others looked in astonishment at Ducky, and in their minds planned that they would be behind Ducky should Gibbs pounce
Trailing after each other, like preschoolers on a trip, they reached Ducky’s domain.
As the doors to autopsy whooshed open Ducky shouted out “Mr Palmer, it’s perfectly safe to come out, Agent Gibbs is not going to attack you, god forbid that should happen, If any one has the right to dissect you bit by bit they would have to fight me in the line up.”.
Jimmy Palmer, pathologist in the making, if he ever survived that is, creeped slowly out of the changing room, nervously eying the large cold room
“Hey Palmer, Scared huh” Shouted Tony who was getting more and more into the role of boss. Ducky gave him another steel stare, enough to even silence his beloved Jethro, as he had done many many times, in the quiet of their home.
Tony’s speech wavered off as Ducky continued to stare. Finally defeated the young man looked away, missing Ducky’s smirk.
Ducky gave a big breath as he went closer to the room that currently housed the one thing that meant everything in his life for the past twenty five years. Pulling himself up to his height, looking larger than his normal small frame, he opened his office door, and before the others could enter, closed it after him, shutting out the outside world. Immediately there was a fracas, of bodies hurtling themselves at the door, anything to get close to hearing what was going on in Ducky’s office.
Mumbled voices, silence then shouting then more mumbling but not distinguishable to work out whether it was Ducky talking or Gibbs. Finally for what seemed like hours the door opened and Ducky slowly came into view, head bent and shoulders drooping.
“Duck” said Abby as she rested her hand on his shoulder. Ducky signed dramatically. Watery blue sky coloured eyes looked deep into Abby’s kohl lined ones. “I was wrong Abigail, he’s not coping very well, I think he should stay here with me for a little while at least, I don’t really want to let him loose up stairs what with Jennifer prowling round “ Abby nodded her head in agreement and turned to the others motioning that they should all go back to their floor and leave Ducky to deal with Gibbs and his current dilemma.
As he watched the others leaving all deeply affected by this current situation, Ducky felt a glimpse of guilt, but that didn’t last for long as the saddened blue eyes gave way to mirth and devilment.
He turned round and returned to his office, grinning like a young lover he came face to face with the man he had devoted his life to. “Duck you’ve been a very bad boy” Gibbs sensual tone sent shivers up Ducky’s spine, that reverberated through his whole body, a body that still retained the muscles and capability of youth.
I merely decided we should have some “Us” time my dear, what better way to detract others from contacting us at inappropriate moments” Ducky returned as he sat on Jethro’s knee freely touching the warm skin, rejoicing that his plan had worked, “No interruptions, total peace and quiet, no thoughts but just us, just the two of us,” Jethro blue eyes crinkled in amusement and appreciation.
Now I can carry out my thorough examination of you, where were we, oh yes I remember, “Ducky continued to feast on Jethro’s face, touching what he could that was in reach, Ducky was a very tactile person, he loved the feel of his Jethro, the feel of the strength of him, encased in that fine typically masculine body, that always reacted to his touch, knowing that this body was for him only, gave him such immense pride and satisfaction that he still was afraid to wake up some times for fear that it was not reality, but Jethro always reminded him that this was something that would continue for a very long time.
Left alone they could take their time to familiarise themselves with every curve of skin and bone every touch, whether clothed or unclothed. Gone were the heady days of desperate sex, heavy breathing, and rushed climaxes. So sure where they of the depth of their love, that time had no consequence, they could spend hours merely touching, merely scanning and mapping their bodies.
And without unnecessary interruption and Ducky’s rather grand plan, today they could again take their time and celebrate the union of their souls as well as their bodies
The End